The three weeks following my plea for help to Jeremiah were uneventful. We'd done a hell of a job icing each other out-he hardly looked my way anymore, and I had been perfectly okay with it. Keeping him at arm's length was what was best for both of us, my brother had been sure to remind me of the morning after Homecoming. I spent most of my time with Shane and Kayla outside of school, both finding creative ways to try and distract me from the dark abyss that was my mind, even if their approaches were much different.

Kayla was set on me helping her with anything and everything-from cheer planning to dates with my brother. She didn't leave a second for me to think about anything when she was around, which was a relief, but it also caused the weight of everything to crash down even harder once she was gone. Shane was more subtle about his distractions, inviting me on outings with him and some of his friends. Many of the mini adventures were to the library or bookstore, occasionally we'd pop into an arcade, movie theater, or game store-the latter usually to pick something up for Gabe. His friends were sweet, many of them to my immediate relief, female, but the few boys that did tag along were soft spoken and kind, never trying to talk to me or make me uncomfortable.

There was a part of me, being distracted by Kayla and Shane, that felt as though I could live my life again without the past creeping up and blindsiding me.

"Hey, Addison." the familiar deep voice was followed by a thud of what I'd assume was his backpack hitting the ground. "You good?"

Stephan Briggs was far from what I'd been expected, given my younger brother's words in the car the night of the bonfire a month ago. He'd spent much of the last few weeks joining me for lunch, but he always kept his distance, sitting opposite of me, making small talk about things that truly didn't matter. But he was there, and he continued to be there on my bad days when I wanted no more than to disappear under the table. I wished Kayla would appear out of the blue as she usually did at least once a week at lunch to check in on me, but I also knew that she was probably with my brother and Jere, wherever the hell they were in this crowded cafeteria.

"I'm okay." I mumbled, offering him a one shouldered shrug as I tracing the my index finger around my bottle cap. "Been better, been worse."

"Are you busy tonight?" he questioned, and it'd be a lie to say I didn't instantly look across the table at him and shake my head. "Come see a movie with me?"

A couple years ago I'd be picking up on the words and nodding, but it took my brain far too long to comprehend his question, and I felt warmth in my cheeks once I had. "Are you asking me out?"

Though I'd had my fair share of admirers and a few quick flings, I'd never had a boy ask me on a date before. Something about the thought ignited a fire of warmth in my chest I hadn't known was there.

"There's a new horror movie out." he answered, avoiding answering my question directly. I couldn't help but wonder if it was for his sake or mine. "I heard it was great and thought it'd be a fun way to get in the Halloween spirit."

I considered his words. "I mean if you'd rather take someone else—"

I trailed off once I realized how ridiculous I sounded. Of course, he had no desire to ask someone else. Why would he ask me if he wasn't interested in me specifically? It was just hard for me to wrap my head around the idea that someone like Stephan Briggs was interested in me for more than just my body.

"I wouldn't be over here if I wanted to take someone else, Addison." Stephan replied, and to my relief, flashed a quick smile in addition to the words. "But I totally understand if you don't want to or can't."

My entire body wanted to decline the date. It was in overdrive as the internal war of body and mind raged inside me. My brain and heart knew that if Stephan was going to try anything, he would have by now. He would have made some kind of advance, instead he'd been nothing but understanding, kind, and sweet. He was who Jere was referring to when he said not to put all men into a box, even if he hadn't been thinking that himself.

"So?" Stephan prompted, extending a hand across the table, palm up, far enough away that he could retract it if he saw it was making me uncomfortable. "Will you go on a date with me tonight?"

Hundreds of excuses jumped to the tip of my tongue, but none broke passed my lips, still very much parted in surprise over the proposition.

Ultimately, I relaxed just the slightest and rested my hand in his with a quick nod. "Yeah."

*

"You should wear a shirt," Kayla commented from where she was on her stomach across my bed, "so he has the chance to give you his jacket if you get cold."

I paused in front of the full-length mirror and threw a look at her over my shoulder, "Does that actually work? I thought that was just something you see in movies and shows."

Kayla rolled on to her side before throwing her legs over the side of the bed with, eyes narrowed. "You've never been on a date before?"

I'd hardly consider make out sessions and parties dates, so I shook my head.

"That's crazy." she mumbled, kicking her feet back and forth. "You're so gorgeous."

I shrugged a shoulder as I grabbed the long sleeve black t-shirt form across my computer desk, "High school boys back home weren't interested in getting to know me."

"Their loss." Kayla answered and I caught her encouraging smile in the mirror. "Because you're amazing."

I smiled, starting to turn away from her when Jonathan busted through my bedroom door, startling both of us. Kayla chucked one of my pillows at her boyfriend, but he only tackled her back on to the bed. I should have known that Jere wouldn't be far behind when my brother was in the room, but I still shifted and averted my gaze to the couple rolling around laughing on my bed so I didn't have to face him.

Ever the observant brother he was, Johnny took in the shirt in my hands and my jeans, no hoodie or sweater in sight, "Ooh, special occasion?"

I felt a smile touch at my lips. I'd grown to love that about Jonathan, he never sat and pointed out the obvious, but rather brushed over it and on to what mattered.

"She's going on a date." Kayla wiggled her eyebrows at my brother suggestively as she kicked her feet across his lap. "I did amazing with her makeup, huh?"

I was sure she had, but I had been avoiding staring at my reflection for any length of time. I knew if I saw how beautiful she'd managed to make me that I'd get cold feet and back out last second.

"A date?" my brother quirked a thick, dark brow, "With who?"

The minute he said the word, tension filled the room. I just wasn't sure if it was coming from him, Jeremiah in the doorway, or me.

"Briggs." Kayla said with an enthusiastic clap. "He's been sitting with her every day at lunch. He's been such a gentlemen. And you're not going to believe this, but Addy's never been on a real date before."

I shot her a dark look, but she only smiled sweetly and leaned back into my pillows, touching her toes together on my brother's lap.

"If he tries anything, you know you can call me, right? I know where we can hide his body." Johnny said, totally serious from my bed. "We'd just need an alibi and I'm sure I could find one of those too."

"Oh, shut up." Kayla slapped my brother's shoulder with a laugh. "Can we go see if your mom is done with the scones? I can smell them."

Jonathan rolled his eyes at his girlfriend's request but kissed her quickly and helped her to her feet. She slipped past Jere in the doorframe without a word, but my brother purposefully rammed his shoulder into his best friend's shoulder with a warning look I wasn't sure I understood. Once they were out of earshot, Jere stepped into the room with his head bowed, avoidant of my eyes on him.

"Look, Jere, I don't want to—" Like this afternoon, I wasn't sure where I was going with the reassurance, so I trailed off and spun on my heel to stare at the shirt between my hands.

"You look beautiful." Jeremiah finally broke the silence, severing the tension with the compliment. "I know you don't like hearing it, but I thought maybe you needed to."

I kept my head down but nodded. "Thanks."

"Sure."

I stepped out of the room to change into the shirt, but Jeremiah was still on his back across my bed with his arms folded behind his head when I walked back in. I knew he heard me enter the room, that was apparent in the way his shoulders tensed, but he didn't speak.

"Jere." I whispered into the air, afraid to look at him. "I don't want to be like this."

"Like what."

"Avoiding each other. Icing each other out." I elaborated. "We're friends. I need you."

There was something he wanted to say lingering on the tip of his tongue he didn't want to say, and by no surprise, he didn't utter a word. He just stared at me from the bed.

"You should get going." he finally says. "And what Jon says is right. A single text or call we'll be there, alright?"

"Jeremiah." I tried again, finally forcing my head up so I was staring into his eyes. We were closer than we had been ten minutes ago, him sitting at the foot of my bed and me inches away, my arms crossed as I stared down at him. "Enough."

"Enough what?"

"We're not thirteen." I said through my teeth, blinking rapidly to keep tears from falling. "I'm sorry for what I said that night, I had a minute of weakness. I—"

He stood and I fell back a step, unable to tear my eyes from his, "I'm not icing you out, Addy. I just. . . do you know how hard it is? To watch you struggle and not be able to help you? I can't do anything to stop the pain you feel. If I could take it all and hold it in, I would. But I can't and I don't know what you expect out of me."

"I expect a friend." I touched my hand against his chest. "I need you, Jere."

"Okay." he breathed, his eyes fluttering shut. "Okay, Addy. Go on your date and come back here and tell me all about it."

The bitter undertone of the words had me quickly turning my back to him. "You're being a child, Jeremiah."

"I never claimed to be anything else."

It wasn't until I was in the doorway that I froze and casted a look at him over my shoulder. Guilt consumed every inch of his face, and his beautiful eyes left words unspoken in the air between us.

"I'll be home by eleven." my gaze flickered to his arm, and he must have caught the action because he quickly crossed his arms over his chest. "Please be here when I get home."

I half expected him to cave and nod and be the puppy dog he'd been a few weeks ago, but something had shifted, and I wasn't sure I wanted to face the reality of whether it was truly him, or it was me.