(Email)

To : [email protected]
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Letter of apology
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Harry,

I hope you get to read this. Please confirm receipt.

I just wanted to say I'm sorry for my outburst kanina sa lab. It's wrong. I shouldn't have done that.

I'm going to be very honest... because there's no other way for me to do this.

When I received the letter, naunahan ako ng galit at sakit. I thought, it's one of your ways of getting rid of me.

I know my feelings is an inconvenience to you in so many aspects. Believe me, it's an inconvenience to me, too. It could have been great to remain friends with you and nothing more. It's more preferable, actually. We could talk about anything without boring each other. You know the kind of weird and nerd that I am, and... you are good company.

I didn't mean to fall for you. It's also not my intention to force myself to you.

I know how much you love Neah. I fell for you knowing that. I accepted my own feelings knowing that. And I should have made it clear (sooner) that I know what I'm getting myself into.

If I hang around you, it's because I wanted to be around you; to be with you. If I always look at you, it's because I can't help it. If I take care of you, it's because I want to. I feel for you just like that.

You don't have to reciprocate my feelings nor to accept it. I just have this selfish, selfish impulse of expressing it.

(These chemical reactions triggered by you are too strong, it's making me less scientific. It's making me impulsive, too.)

And now that I have to leave (even though, it's temporary), I want you to know that I will miss you. I will worry that you'll kill yourself to exhaustion before the 3-6 months completion of work here at the lab.

Please, take care of yourself more, Harry. Not for me or for anyone else... but for you.

I'm sorry uli.

I'll miss you.

- Jianna

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