TCWDM : Read Day 76 : One step forward, two steps back and Day 77 : Humor me of Girl of Never Days to Love, first.

(Jia's journal)

I already accepted the fate of a one-sided love. I know, him loving someone else except her, is impossible.

He longs for her. He misses her. He sends her letters. He won't move on because of a promise he made her. Even though I'm frustrated with his loyalty to her, it's also one of the things I admire about him.

I am not the type who assumes. When I see a probability, I test and probe until I arrive at a conclusion. When I see a theory, I test and probe until I learn the truth.

I tested and probed and learned that I love him. It's a fact.

Along with it, I accepted the tragedy of not being loved back because the facts were clear : I love him but he loves her.

It's not in my plan to make him fall for me. I only want to give him some relief when he needs it. To make him smile when he wants it. To care of him.

What I feel, I show. Because there's no other way to do it. I couldn't do something about this heart that doesn't listen to reasons.

It wants to love him, regardless. It wants to fulfill its selfish wish of taking care of him; of looking at him; of watching over him.

So, what is it I'm seeing in his eyes whenever he looks at me? What was it that I heard last night when I hugged him? What was it that I felt in his chest?

I settled into believing that he is avoiding me because I am becoming a burden. That he is ignoring me and shutting me off because he couldn't and wouldn't feel anything for me.

But the facts... he seems to be checking on me every night. He shielded me from harm. And his heartbeat...

What's in your heart, boy? What is it that you're hiding from me? What are you holding back?

Now, I have to tell myself not to get my hopes up. This heart is easily teased. It might want to own you soon.