TCWDM : Neah's last video for Harry. Pinanood ni Harry on Day 155.

(Video Transcription)

File name : Aug05.mp4
Orientation : Portrait
Setting : Hospital
Duration : 26 minutes, 12 seconds

CONTENT:

Nakangiti si Neah sa camera. She's wearing a red dress habang nakababa ang buhok.

Neah : Hello, baby. It's almost an hour after you left the hospital. And my heart's beating unusually... slow.

She sighed.

Neah : But it's your birthday. I don't want to miss this day for a recording. I know... you're probably wondering why I haven't recorded video messages... for days now.

Neah : Hindi ko kasi... kayang ulitin sa'yo 'yung mga messages ko before. So... I skipped.

Neah : But today is your birthday. So... I'm worried.

Neah : (Gasps) If I leave today... I want to tell you something. Please watch this through the end.

Neah took one deep breath.

Neah : If I will die today, without you by my side... please know this.

Neah : I love you, Harry. I love you. And I love you.

She smiled.

Neah : And because I love you... I have so many questions to Him. Why did I have to meet you? Why did I have to fall for you? Why did I have to leave so soon?

Neah : I want a life with you. I want to love you for a long, long time. I want to stay with you and be your wife.

Neah : A love with you is just too good. You're too good to me. You've always been.

Neah's eyes glistened with tears.

Neah : I asked... and asked Him... everyday since my last video. Sa tuwing umaalis ka at maiiwan ako.

Neah : Then, I realized why.

Neah : I have to meet you... because He wanted me to feel loved. He gave me you so that I would feel treasured in this short life. He wanted me to know how special it feels... to be with someone as good as you.

Neah : (Gasps) He spared me of the heartache of finding love by offering your heart to me. Even if it means... your heart will break. Ibinigay ka Niya sa'kin pero hindi Niya 'ko ibinigay sa'yo.

Neah : You're meant to find me. Meant to love me. So that because of you, no matter if it's short, I would live a full life.

Neah started crying.

Neah : Don't worry, baby. If I get the chance to meet Him... kahit sandali lang... I'm going to complain to Him for you. And I'm going to demand that He favors you because you break for me.

Neah wiped her tears with a hankerchief.

Neah : If I die today... I will be thankful for living this long with a love with you. I will accept that I have to leave you. That I have to hurt you.

Neah : If I die today, it also means... I will have to let you go. So... Listen well, Harry.

Neah : (Trembling) If I die today... I want you waking up tomorrow remembering that I love you and that you love me. I want you to cry and mourn for us. I want you to get drunk for us. I want you to die a little inside.

Neah : And then... I want you to let go.

Neah : I want you to let go and give me up. For good.

Neah sobbed for a while.

Neah : I want you to find love again with someone else.

Neah : Because... I want you happy with someone who can love you completely... thoroughly.

Neah : I want you to love and be loved by someone who can laugh with all of your laughter.

Neah : I want you to love and be loved by someone who can cry with you, with all of your tears.

Neah : I want you to love and be loved by someone who can celebrate and share with you... all the range of your spectrum. Because you are full of colors, full of laughter, full of life. I want you to love and be loved by someone who could share all of your colors.

Neah : I want you to love and be loved like that... because that's everything I couldn't do for you. Even with the time given for us together.

Neah : Don't hesitate... to open your heart again. Don't die with me.

Neah : Don't hurt looking into a future without me in it. I already accepted it... that fact that I can only remain in your past. I couldn't be in the future with you... There would be someone else. Someone more vibrant. Someone more healthy. Someone with a stronger heart. Someone more suited for you.

Neah : Kailangan nating tanggapin na hindi ako 'yung ibinigay Niya para sa'yo. Kasi... kung ako 'yung para sa'yo... hindi ako mawawala. Hindi ka maiiwan. But I am leaving... kasi hanggang dito lang ako.

Neah : Hanggang sa araw na 'to lang 'yung ikaw at ako.

Neah : So, when she comes, don't hesitate to love her. Because if you choose to love me still and remember this tragedy... then, I didn't just fail in staying with you, loving you, living for you, and making you happy. I would have robbed you of your colors, too. I would have killed you, too. And I don't want that.

Neah : (Sobs) Kontento na 'ko... na sa maikling panahon ng buhay ko... nakilala kita at minahal.

Neah : Kontento na 'ko... na minahal mo 'ko.

Neah : My short life has been full of love because of you. Because you stand by me. Because you choose me. Because you love me. Because you never waver in loving me.

Neah : You are my blessing in this fragile life. You are my first love; the only love I have known. You are my happiness.

Neah : So, let me be your blessing, too. Let me be your lesson, too. Let me be your first love, too.

Neah : Let me be that someone who came first to prepare you for a love greater than this love and this pain I will leave with you. Greater than this tragedy.

Neah : When that love comes... a love you never thought possible... tell me all about it in a letter.

Neah : When that love comes... please love with all that you have.

Neah : And please be loved...

Neah sobbed then gasped for breath.

Neah : Happy birthday, Harry. This is my birthday wish and my gift to you.

Neah took off the engagement ring from her finger and showed it to the camera. She smiled while crying.

Neah : Today... is my two hundred seventieth NO to you. Basted ka na uli, Harry babe.

Neah : I love you.

Neah bit her lower lip and covered her face with her hand to cry.

A few minutes later, she stopped the recording.

[ video ended ]