Kristine tells me to stay off social media at all costs. And that's how I know—it's really bad.

In the dark hours after my stunt on the Live, their names come back to me. It's not like I ever forgot their names—rather, each syllable haunts my nightmares. Sam, Damien, Bobbi, Loren, and Hawk—they were the five main boys in high school who made my life hell.

And my best friends from middle school—Izzy and Layla, who both left my hometown after eighth grade and never would know how much I'd miss them when I'd no one to bolster me up.

"You might just be the ugliest girl I've ever met," Sam said in the hallway once—nothing like the dark hallways of HYBE, but all the scarier with lockers that could encroach on me if I imagined them to. I tried to ignore him, but he called after me even after I darted toward the bathroom. "Did you hear me? C'mon, Karma, I just want to hear your reply for once."

In all of those moments when their words would tear me down, I'd imagine what it'd feel like to be holed up in my room, playing League of Legends or a cozier video game—where I'd take care of a farm or play with a virtual pet. I felt safe in my room, or in the corner of the bookstore or library. Everywhere else felt unsafe.

And right now, as I walk into HYBE for an emergency meeting with CEO Kimmy, I feel that wild instinct surge up in me again, making me want to hide.

"Seriously...." I mutter to myself as the girls and Jungkook follow my steps. I try to make this lighter than it actually is. And although Nabi and Jesstina know about the group of boys, they can't know that right now my memories are sabotaging me. And Jungkook only knows the bare bones of that—he wouldn't know that our Live would fan the flame.

So I have to keep it under control. Be the leader that Moonscape expects me to be.

"You know, it's just words," Damien had said one day in geometry class. "You're lucky that we aren't actual bad people. Words are just meaningless—you can handle it. It's just teasing."

Izzy, Layla, why did you leave? I remember thinking this as the boys continued to tear me down with their "just words."

"You okay?" Jungkook asks, only succeeding in drawing me half out of my memories.

"Fine," I say, swallowing hard. I clench and unclench my fists, trying to ground myself with the blood rushing toward my fingertips.

The walk to CEO Kimmy's office is somber, and I find myself playing with my two most precious possessions. One is a butterfly necklace that Nabi gave to me, which I only wear on special occasions. The other is a friendship bracelet that I made with all the girls, which includes so many charms that it's almost too extra in my eyes. Also—for special occasions.

CEO Kimmy welcomes us at the door to his office, standing like he was keeping watch. "Girls. Jungkook," he says, his expression unreadable.

CEO Kimmy has always been the "cool" boss. But could he be a little perturbed by what went down on the livestream? After losing Yuna, I've been preparing myself for more bad news. Today could split my career into another before and after.

Time suspends as I take a seat, facing CEO Kimmy's desk. He keeps his office just as eclectic as his personality, with figures of his favorite anime characters, a color-coordinated bookshelf, and an hourglass with pastel blue sand constantly trickling down. If I didn't know any better, I'd think he'd be the CEO of some sort of video game startup.

"We gather here today..." he starts.

And a part of me relaxes. He doesn't sound like he's about to rip into us for ruining his vision. I'm sure Jungkook being part of the Fates meant that there would be some dating rumors. Maybe he expected this to happen, somewhat.

"Damage control?" Jungkook guesses, when CEO Kimmy pauses for a second too long to be comfortable.

Jesstina and Nabi hold hands, leaning into each other. Jungkook is picking at one of his tattoos, and I can tell he's trying not to shake his legs or scratch at his face.

CEO Kimmy leans back, squinting at the ceiling with a small, almost unnoticeable smile. "You know, this isn't a completely bad thing."

Having a "cool" CEO can be good most of the time, but other times it scares me. Sometimes, the best route for the Fates might be to stick to the conventional path. Letting Jungkook into the group was already a huge risk....

I reach out, grabbing Nabi's other hand. In moments like this, I miss Yuna the most. She'd serve us well with a good dose of sarcasm, just when we needed the relief. The four of us are all we have now. Dwelling in the past is comforting, while facing the present is facing Jeon Jungkook, and I've never wanted to confront all the mix of emotions when I look at him.

"You know that the Fates has no official dating ban," CEO Kimmy says, stroking his chin and imaginary beard.

"That's because it's understood," I say, "and no one expects us to date, especially in the first few years of our careers."

CEO Kimmy continues to stroke his chin, his eyes swirling with all of the mysteries of the world. "It's good to pivot, Karma. I know your career is in its very early stage, but sometimes happenstance can push us in an entirely new direction."

Really.... Don't tell me—

"Let's play along with those rumors," CEO Kimmy says. "I know Kristine has told all of you to stay off social media, and there's a lot of hatred and vitriol going around. At the same time, there are people who love you and Jungkook being together."

If I could escape to the cave of the dorm, pretending that this conversation never happened, I'd do so. I'd be reading one of the novels that Namjoon recommended, hiding away from the sunlight like a nocturnal animal.

"I'm not saying that you two have to start going on dates, fanning the flame in that way," our CEO continues. "I'm just saying—let's have some fun with the rumors. A boy and girl romance might just be what we need to push the Fates into stardom, and it'll do a lot of the work for us."

Beside me, I can feel Nabi stiffening. CEO Kimmy doesn't know about her sexuality, and would never know how much Nabi hates having to conform to the girl-boy dynamic that the industry puts us in. Maybe, one day we'll be able to open up the ceiling of our idol careers—where Nabi would be able to date who she wants in the public eye.

Until then... me and Jungkook? Unbelievable. I feel myself gathering my scruples. I'll need to put my foot down properly to get out of this entanglement.

CEO Kimmy drives forward. "Jungkook, Karma. I don't expect you to go along with this without any doubts. I don't expect you to agree. I just think that it'll be a wasted opportunity just to squash this rumor and move along."

"So... some fake dating?" Jungkook asks. "I don't think that's what the Fates stands for."

Thank you, Jungkook. I almost reach over and hug him for speaking exactly what was on my mind.

"No fake dating," CEO Kimmy says. "We aren't trying to be so dramatic. Just, don't deny anything when anyone asks you about romance. We want to keep this mystery, an allure. The Fates is a mysterious group, especially now that you, Jungkook, are on board. Carving your own fate can mean more than one thing, and that can mean some sparks flying within the group."

Nabi's skin tingles on my hand, going cold. I can tell that she's uncomfortable by this idea. I spare a glance at Jesstina and find that she's left speechless in a rare moment. I think she thinks it's a fun idea, and she'd probably help me and Jungkook really unlock our "romantic potential." An idea that makes me shiver.

Finally, I find the words. "Yes, the Fates stands for finding your own fate. Right now, that means we should show what it means to be independent. If I don't deny that Jungkook and I have something going on, that can lead to more scandal. And that means the Fates would be in trouble."

"I'm already getting enough attention," Jungkook adds. "I don't need to put an even brighter spotlight on myself."

"I agree with my members," Nabi says, finally breaking her silence.

"I can see why this would be appealing," Jesstina says, "but if Karma and Jungkook are uncomfortable then I don't see a point."

CEO Kimmy steeples his hands together, leaning forward like a kid about to unveil a secret. "Jungkook, the spotlight may be on you, but if Karma is brought forward as well, that will put her on an equal level, and the group will be on the same radar. When you eventually leave the group—like you're planning—then the rumor will go away naturally. We're already doing the unconventional by letting you in a girl group. Why not have a little fun with this?"

There it is—the reminder that Jungkook doesn't actually belong in the Fates. It curls like a snake in my stomach, the idea that we'll have to say goodbye.

And behind CEO Kimmy's probing, I sense what he's actually trying to say. He's a nice boss, but once he ascribes to a new idea....

"What you're saying is that this is non-negotiable," I say. "You want Jungkook and I to lean into this mystery, and you won't be convinced otherwise."

CEO Kimmy shoots me an apologetic grin, and I hate how his genius has brought Moonscape to this level where he can take "innovative" risks like this one.

Before the meeting is over, which I can sense is coming once the CEO confirms that this plan is actually an order, I take the reins as a leader and scramble for some conditions. "We ask that Jungkook and I don't actually have to do any stunts in public. No holding hands, PDA. And no flirting just because a camera is around, please. We won't deny the rumor, and we'll play into the mystery like you want. But we'll just do what's natural."

"That's exactly what I had in mind," CEO Kimmy says.

Really? I swore he would've walked down the dramatic path of displays of affection. Even so, I remain grateful that he's willing to bend a little.

Jungkook scowls at the floor. Despite the superstar that he is, he's under CEO Kim as well, and Moonscape is his current boss. He'll have to do what he's asked to.

I straighten my spine, imagining a long night of League of Legends and forgetting all that transpired in this office. "Okay," I say. "It's settled. We won't deny anything."

"Awesome," CEO Kimmy says. He relaxes and leans all the way back in his chair, grinning to himself like he's gotten away with a petty crime. "Jungkook and Karma, I want you both to have fun with this. Romance is no stranger to the Fates, as we've cemented in the debut album. We want this natural chemistry to unfold in the public eye, along with on stage. We want people to remember this group, and sometimes that means that we do the unconventional."

Unconventional. I guess that's one way to put it.

I squeeze my eyelids tightly together, trying to blur out the fear that blooms in my heart. Am I the right person for this?

Sam, Damien, Bobbi, Loren, and Hawk. I hear their laughter from across the seas. You won't come out of this one alive, Karma, they say, and it pains me to admit that I believe them.

"Let's discuss more tomorrow," CEO Kimmy says.

A/N: CEO Kimmy may just be unhinged. But I'm kind of here for it. 

I'm missing BTS a little extra these days. I've been watching old content before I go to bed, and it's the most relaxing thing.