People always talk about cutting tension.

But today, the tension cuts me.

Debut day comes around quickly—and although I've been waiting for this moment for two years now, a part of me wants to delay it for a little bit, just so that I'll figure out how to process that—

I can't even say it properly. That the Fates will debut as an official idol group.

I've always been a firm believer that you shouldn't care about the opinions of the people who don't love you. All that matters is my family's and friend's opinions, and in addition to that will be the opinion of my fans.

At the same time, all of the other opinions will be so plentiful and heavy that it'll be hard not to take notice.

"How are we feeling?" Jesstina says as we pile into the van that will take us to our first destination—the studio where we'll hold our very first livestream event. Afterwards, we'll do an outdoor fan meet and end with our debut showcase in the evening.

I'm about to answer when Jungkook enters the van. He's wearing a pastel pink lob wig. It doesn't quite match his denim jacket and jeans, but it'll definitely be the first thing that people see when they tune into our stream.

The rest of us are also dressed in a copious amount of denim, but our hair is all natural. My hair is black, Jesstina's is a light brown, and Nabi's is a light blond that fits her extremely well—she got it done for our debut day. Jungkook's pink moment will be splattered all across the internet.

And honestly, I'm here for it.

"Don't laugh," he says.

I can't help from being overcome by a fit of giggles. I lean forward, resting my head against the chair in front of me. Jungkook's pinkness will be forever etched into my memory of the Fates' debut.

Jesstina and Nabi join my laughing spree. Jungkook sulks and settles into his seat, leaning all the way back and crushing Nabi in the process when his seat springs backwards.

"Oppa," I say, deciding to use the term of endearment. "You're crushing one of your members back there."

If he's surprised by my calling him oppa, he doesn't show it. He adjusts his chair, and Kristine checks whether we're all ready to go. When our car speeds off in the direction of the studio, I decide to stare in the opposite direction of Jungkook. But even so, I catch the reflection of his pink wig in the glass. I crack a smile.

"Any words of wisdom for us, Jungkook?" Jesstina says as we come close to our destination. "You're the expert on all of this! So it'll be nice if you can pump us up a little."

I turn back to face him. Nabi and Jesstina lean forward intently, and even Kristine seems to be angling her head backwards. I prepare myself for a moment like we had at the PC bang, where the world faded away and all that mattered was Jungkook's words.

Today, he sighs loudly. His grin is hesitant. "I have nothing to say, besides the fact that the nerves never truly go away. Um. Fighting!"

"Really?" I say, daring to reach out and push against his arm. "Nothing else?"

Jungkook shrugs. "Even after all these years, I didn't come up with any formula on how to be invincible on days like these."

"We don't need to be invincible," I say.

"Right," Nabi says. "We just have to be the Fates."

Coming from anyone else's mouth, the words would fall flat. From Nabi, I feel my heart begin to pump in determination. I would do anything to protect her, Jesstina, and now... even Jungkook.

"One more thing," I say. I reach into my pocket and take out the most dangly, extra set of earrings that I own. The teardrop diamond is heavy, and it's surrounded by five, interlooping hoops. The result is the most feminine thing you can possibly put near your face.

"I am not putting that on," Jungkook says.

This is the most decided I've ever heard him, and that's saying a lot since we put him through the whole tornado of a classic movie makeover.

"It'll be good with the wig," I say. "C'mon."

I hold the earrings next to his face. He scowls and swipes them away. After Jesstina puts up a huge fuss for the entirety of the ride to the studio, and after Nabi pouts at him for a few minutes, Jungkook finally relents.

"Fine!" He says, taking the earrings and replacing his short hoops. It takes him only a second, with his expert hands, to attach them.

"That really puts the look together," I say. I angle my phone towards him to try to take a picture, but we've arrived at the studio already. He swears under his breath and quickly opens the car door to flee.

Jesstina chases after him, screaming. Nabi gives me a sheepish look and follows along quietly.

"This is not the group I was expecting," Kristine says. She looks back at me, one hundred percent tired but also a hundred percent amused.

"Me too," I say. Then I exit the car and follow my members, burning my shoulders in the June sun.

*

Jungkook does a little dance, shimmying his shoulders while his pink wig flops to his movement. "And now, we are pleased to present our music video for 'Weavers!'"

I sit down next to him as we take a breather, pausing at the end of our hour-long livestream. I take a sip of water, absolutely exhausted from introducing myself and playing along with my members while also knowing that thousands of people are gandering at me. Any extreme introvert can relate to me, how my energy just saps away so quickly.

I watch through the monitor, gluing my eyes to the video for "Weavers" that we toiled endlessly on. I watch Jungkook's solo as he raps through the second verse. We appear like goddesses in a shoot that took place in the middle of Seoul forest, where we wander in gowns that boast trains longer than most on the red carpet. Even though Jungkook is wearing a tuxedo, the evidence of his makeover helps him to blend in.

When the dance portion interweaves with the storytelling part, I almost start hyperventilating. It was such a rush to finally professionally record ourselves, and it's another rush to think about the thousands who are poring over the video—the synthy chords, the addictive melody, and the lyrics about weaving your own fate, taking control of your own destiny.

My face fills the ending shot, as I lay in the night among a bed of grass. I blink once, and then the video's over.

As the livestream ends, I check Nabi and Jesstina to find that they're still breathing. Freaking out like me, but breathing.

Then my eyes land on Jungkook. He stares directly at me, like the gravity of our gaze attaches by an invisible magnetic string.

It's a rising in my chest—a burn that stings me, although I should've seen it coming.

All this defense that I had against him, all the feelings of how Jungkook could be just like the boys who bullied me in high school—those were defense mechanisms.

I always admired Jungkook, long before I became a trainee. All the members of BTS impressed me, and I thought that I would never meet them, let alone have this level of proximity. But secretly, I wondered whether I would actually be able to fall for someone like these boys that I looked up to. Someone who wouldn't torment me and constantly pick on my looks, my attitude, the way I dressed. BTS gave me that hope.

This month that I spent with Jungkook, trying to erect walls around my heart, even treating him like the enemy, they were all delicate masks to hide the truth.

On debut day, I come to the crippling realization that maybe, I might be falling for Jungkook.

A/N: It was Festa when I wrote this chapter! I really wish I was an ARMY way back in the day so I could enjoy every Festa. Do you have any memories from this Festa or any other years? I'm already looking forward to next year's.