The noonday sun glared down on the parched earth and the stagnant air felt suffocating. It was a sweltering midsummer day.

The Shinsengumi stood in salute, shoulders squared and back straight, as rays of heat bore down against their necks. They formed two neat rows across the courtyard along a path that led from the front gates to the main building. The soot on their faces and their singed hair were the result of a certain Vice-Commander firing a bazooka at them to get their obedience.

Kondo sat cross-legged on the deck of the main building, staring at the gates with a friendly smile on his face, and Hijikata sat behind him. They dressed in clean uniforms, ready to receive an important guest.

Their new Overseer should have arrived already. The officers stood waiting. Not a single man relaxed his guard or stood out of line. The visitor could arrive at any moment and they needed to give him a good first impression.

The minutes ticked by and the heat became almost unbearable.

Finally, the metal gates swung open.

A small army of a dozen Amanto soldiers waited beside an ornate government car. They all had black antennae sticking out from both sides of their heads and wore their green hair in the same slicked-back hairstyle. Their uniforms consisted of a yellow military jackets accented with black stripes, and they each carried light saber rip-offs at their waists that they called Beam Sabers.

The door of the car opened. Matsudaira stepped out. The Head of the National Police dragged a young Amanto out of the car by the collar of his jacket.

The Amanto had a scowl on his plump face as he tried to free himself from Matsudaira's grip. His hair, the color of puke, was slicked back like the ones around him, but he had yellow antennae.

Matsudaira escorted the Amanto to the gates with a gun to his back. The Shinsengumi watched as the man they were supposed to call Overseer Hambertio struggle like an animal being led to slaughter. They tried to keep a solemn face, but it only got harder.

"I got golden balls! See, golden balls!!" Hambertio pointed to the round things at the tips of his antennae. "So stop treating me like those black-balled foot soldiers. I shouldn't even be in this pigsty!"

"A pig belongs in a pigsty," said Matsudaira, not even trying to hide his annoyance. "Now get in there, little piggy. Be a good boy like your daddy wanted and try not to get yourself killed."

With a kick to the butt, Matsudaira shoved Hambertio into the Headquarters. The Amanto underlings filed in and closed the gates behind them.

Kondo made his way to Hambertio with warm eyes and an open smile.

"Hamu-sensei*, you must have had a rough journey," said Kondo. "Don't be afraid to ask us anything. Just treat me and everyone here as your own men. With your guidance, I'm sure we can do great things for this city."

[* hamu means ham]

Hambertio ignored Kondo's welcome. He looked around and wrinkled his nose as if something stank.

The Shinsengumi remained in their positions and tried not to stare at him.

Hambertio had an upturned nose and small beady eyes. His jacket stretched tight around his potbelly. He wasn't what most people considered good-looking, but it was his scowl that made him ugly.

"What are you looking at, humans?"

The Shinsengumi policemen glanced away, avoiding eye-contact.

One of them caught Hambertio's attention. A young man with sandy brown hair who was a head shorter than the others.

Sougo stood at the end of the row closest to the main building. His face was clammy from standing too long under the sun, but he kept still, staring straight ahead like a bored statue. He swayed a little as if about to collapse from the heat.

A mean grin stretched on Hambertio's face. He walked over to Sougo and looked down at him. He sneered at his skinny arms.

"What's a weakling like you doing pretending to be a policeman? No wonder this city's infested with crime."

Sougo glanced up with hooded eyes, glazed over from both heatstroke and boredom. He balled the hand behind his back into a fist.

Kondo stepped between them with a bead of sweat on his forehead. He placed a hand on Hambertio's shoulder and gave a nervous smile. "Now, now, Hamu-sensei, you don't have to worry about him. Let's head inside."

Hambertio's mouth twisted in revulsion as he narrowed his eyes at Kondo's hand. "Keep your dirty hands off me, you hairy gorilla."

Hijikata shot a menacing glare at him, but Kondo only raised his head back to let out a hearty laugh. He wiped a tear from his eye.

"You're right." Kondo sniffled. "I should have washed my hands after I—"

"You don't have to tell him!" Hijikata yelled, face red in humiliation.

Kondo tried to clean his hands by wiping them on his jacket.

"Hamu-sensei, let me show you around our headquarters," said Kondo with a friendly smile.

Hambertio looked around in distaste. "Are the training halls even air-conditioned in this pigsty?"

Kondo gave a nervous laugh. "Of course, of course."

Hijikata gave a stern look to the Shinsengumi officers. A few of them got the message and rushed off to install the air-conditioning.

Kondo invited the Hambertio into the main building. Hambertio gave a grunt and went inside. His entourage of black-balled soldiers trailed behind him in silence with heads bowed in submission.

Hijikata glanced back at the Shinsengumi, still standing in salute. He motioned with a tilt of his head for them to disperse before following Kondo inside.

Sougo relaxed as he let out a deep breath. He staggered over to the porch and flopped down under the shade.

He chugged down an entire bottle of water. His eyes opened wide at the last mouthful. He lurched forward and spit it out, coughing violently as he almost choked on it. With a crunch, he crushed the empty bottle in his fist.

Yamazaki rushed over.

"Captain Okita, are you okay?" said Yamazaki, brows furrowed in concern. His eyes were still a little puffy, but he seemed to have gotten over his love sickness.

Sougo let out one more cough before turning his gaze to the main building.

He stared at it with a dark look in his eyes. "Cliché villains like him never live for long."

"Who is he?"

Sougo shrugged and gave a nonchalant smile. "Some idiot who thinks he could order everyone around like his dad could."

***

Flashback: A few days ago

Kondo sat cross-legged on the floor of his office, chest puffed out as he tried to put on a brave face despite the sweat dripping down his forehead. Hijikata and Sougo sat behind him, invited to the meeting.

Matsudaira's cigar bobbled up and down as he chewed it between clenched teeth. The Head of the National Police looked more like a yakuza kingpin than a civil servant. He had his gray hair slicked into a pompadour and stubbles on his chin. He dressed in a black longcoat.

Kondo clenched and relaxed his sweaty palms. Every time his boss came over, he'd risk getting shot. His mind raced to remember what he did wrong in the last few days that would result in his boss coming personally to the Shinsengumi Headquarters to meet him.

Matsudaira placed a photo in front of Kondo.

"His name is Hambertio Drakanator, son of an Amanto police captain."

Kondo stared at the face in the photo. The sneering young man looked like someone Matsudaira's daughter would date, thuggish and bloated like a punching bag.

Kondo sat up straight and saluted. "Hitman Gorilla 13 at your service!"

Sougo cocked his sniper rifle. "Hitman Sougo 13!"

Matsudaira reached into his coat pocket and pulled out his handgun.

The sound of gunfire rattled across the room. A bullet whizzed past Kondo's ear heading straight for Sougo. Sougo dodged it with a tilt of his head, still staring ahead with round unflustered eyes. The bullets had punched holes through the papery walls.

The other bullets lodged into the floor. Hijikata stared, face twitching, at the splintered floorboards just centimeters from his crotch. Sweat flowed down his forehead. "W-Why me?"

Matsudaira pointed his smoking gun at Kondo.

Kondo fell back, mouth twisted in horror as he tried to shield himself. "B-B-But isn't he—"  

"Your new Overseer. You're supposed to protect him from assassins, not assassinate him. If he dies under your watch, it won't be as simple as a bullet to your head."

Kondo stared at the gun with wary eyes. Matsudaira he twirled it with his fingers as he chuckled at the fear on Kondo's face.

"The Melissan Space Patrol wants to work with us on some joint operations, so they're sending one of them over to supervise the missions." Matsudaira paused. "At least that's what they say. He's nothing but a spoiled brat, so you just have to babysit him."

"T-The Melissan Space Patrol?" Kondo was sure he heard it somewhere before.

"Some Amanto from the Planet Melissa," Matsudaira explained. "They used to be a warrior clan as violent as the Yato, but they've settled down many years ago and became the galaxy's policemen."

Matsudaira put his gun back into his coat pocket. Kondo let out a sigh of relief.

"Pirates, rebels, World Destroyers, you name it. They're supposed to be fighting against them to protect governments and spaceships. It's like they're the guardians of the galaxy or something."

"So they're here for the Joui rebels?"

Matsudaira glared at Kondo like it was a stupid question. "With all those terrorist attacks and robberies on Amanto ships, they're bound to come here sooner or later."

"The city could always use more policemen." Kondo smiled. "It'll make the streets even safer."

Matsudaira shook his head. "They're calling it cooperation between humans and Amanto to fight against crime, but they're just here to keep an eye on us. Try to look like you're doing something about those Joui extremists and not just stealing taxes."

He took one look at the Gorilla Commander's face and let out a long hopeless sigh. "You know how much work it took me to con the Meiji government into thinking you guys were still useful? At least make sure your men don't go starting fights with the Melissans."

"Don't worry about that," said Kondo with a reassuring smile. "We'll show them the Shinsengumi's hospitality. They'll feel right at home."

Matsudaira got up to leave.

"Just don't cause any trouble."

End of Flashback

***

A dozen men had gathered around the porch to listen to Sougo's story.

Sougo glanced up at them with innocent eyes. "That's why if you wanna kill him, make sure he dies from falling off the stairs or getting hit on the head at a construction site. It needs to look like an accident."

[Source: https://www.zerochan.net/2013579]

Yamazaki stared at him with blue lines over his forehead. "C-Captain Okita..."

Sougo yawned and stretched his arms. He put on his eye mask. Hijikata was too busy being the Melissans' servant to bother him. This was a good time for a nap.

***

Next time: A certain one-eyed villain makes his entrance.