** This is a very depressing one-shot. It deals with self harm, sducidal thoughts and depression. Read at your own risk. If you or anyone you know is thinking of suicide please call/tell them to call The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-TALK [8255]). Never commit it. You don't deserve to be a number. You deserve to be alive. Even if it seems like you don't matter, someone somewhere thinks highly of you. Your there world., the music above is from Dear Even Hansen which is an amazing musical. This chapter is dedicated to every Suicide victim.**

Andy's POV

I walk through the halls of the new Mutant Underground for the first time. People glare at me and say things I can't hear. I've been stuck in a cage for the past month. They brought me some food. And I was allowed to go to the bathroom. As long as Thunderbird, Marcos or Lorna was by my side. I kinda destroyed part of the old one. But it wasn't my fault. Lauren and I got into a fight and she shoved me. Told me I was worthless. I went to our room and she followed me. I went outside to destroy stuff and she was there. She kept saying things that hurt. I finally got tired of it and screamed and used my powers. Lauren flew back. I couldn't control myself. Part of the building was gone also. Mutants ran out and Lauren ran to my parents and told them lies. She told them to everyone. They shoved me in a cage. People used there powers on me. My dad beat me. It was horrible. Some told me to die. I guess I deserve to disappear. I won't be remembered. I'll become a number. I don't want to be an abandoned memory. It scares me. No one will miss me. I'll do it tonight. I can't take it. I can't get caught. They will look for any excuse to shove me in a cage.

"If fall in a forest and nobody is around, do you ever really crash or even make a sound."

I don't know. How should I go? I could jump. They will probably leave my body for the crows. I go and find a knife. I slip it under my pillow.......... my mom saw and I didn't know. I hear her coming up behind me. She rest her hand on my shoulder. I turn around quickly. She has tears in her eyes. She hugs me tightly.

"Sit. Now." She orders me.

I obey and she sits next to me. She wraps her arms around me. I don't know what's going on. I just Break down crying. She hugs me and rubs my back. We sit like this for awhile. I don't know how long. After awhile she speaks.

"Why?" She asks me breaking the silence that had been for who knows how long.

"Why what?" I ask my voice horse from crying so long.

"Why do you have a knife under your pillow?"
"What are you talking about?" I ask acting cluelessly.

"Andre. Andy you know what I'm talking about." She says almost using my full name but she stops.

I don't speak. She pulls the knife out and hands it to me.

"If you want to do it then do it." She says and I look at her in shock.

I tremble and hold the knife. I never make a single mark though. I can't. She is there. She doesn't deserve to watch me. No one does. I don't want people to watch.

"I can't do it. Your here." I say

"You don't want me here? Andy I don't want to lose my baby boy. Your my only son. Your Lauren's brother. I can't burry you. You don't deserve to die." She says tears running down her face.

"You believed Lauren's lies. You didn't stop them from hurting me. How can I be your baby boy when I'm 15?" I tell her. I ask the last part confused.

"Andy I'm sorry. I really am. You will always be my baby boy. I want you to think of 50 reasons to live and write them down. Then you will read them to me. Got it?" She says handing me pen and paper. "Or you could write your suicide note." She adds

I look at her and start writing she watches but I can't read her expression. She writes something of her own.

"I finished." I say.

"Me too. I'll read mine first." She tells me

Cait's paper:

Dear Andy, my baby boy.
Today you went 6 feet under. Today was the last time I ever will see your body in person. I'll never feel your touch. I'll never hear your voice or your laughs. I'll never be able to "kill" any girlfriends you would have had. I'll never see your wedding with the one girl  who didn't get "killed". I'll never hold anyone of your kids. I won't get to celebrate your 16 or any of your birthdays ever again. You may have felt hopelsss but you were my world. You have been since the moment you were born.

I love you.

Love, Mommy.

She finishes and I hug her and sob. After awhile I read mine:

50 reason why I should live.

1) I will always have one person.
2) I won't get to chose my coffin.
3) I don't want to die.
4) My family probably does love me.
5) I don't want to be a number.
6) I'll never be able to read the next comic.
7) I would probably go to hell.
8) I doubt there's good food in hell.
9) I don't want to be crow food.
10) Maybe I do matter.
11) Knifes hurt a lot.
12) What if they don't fix my bones if I jump.
13) Lauren would probably put me in a dress for my funeral.
14) I don't look good in heels.
15) I've never had a pet.
16) I need to make a bucket list.
17) Dying would probably hurt.
18) I don't want to starve myself.
19) I won't get to choose my grave stone.
20) If I fade away I'll never be thought of.
21) I'm kinda scared to die.
22) My mom cries ugly.
23) My mom would not handle my death well.
24) Does that mean Sentinel Services won?
25) I shouldn't choose how to die.
26) I'll miss chocolate.
27) Maybe I do have a friend out there.
28) I can't stalk Wes to make sure Lauren's safe.
29) What If Wes hurts Lauren?
30) No one deserves to disappear.
31) I'll never find love.
32) Maybe that "friend" will be my wife.
33) I'll never have a wedding.
34) I'll never have kids.
35) I want to plan a baby shower.
36) The bullies would probably destroy my grave.
37) Does that mean my "Fan Club" won?
38) How would my mom act?
39) I don't want to miss out of Marcos and Lorna's baby.
40) I'll disappear to soon.
41) I'll never find out the genders of my kids.
42) I heard hell is hot.
43) How will my dad react?
44) I heard God is old.
45) my parents don't deserve to go to my funeral.
46) I need to get the bullies back.
47) Dead body's would probably stink.
48) Dreamer wouldn't want me dead.
49) I can't do this.
50) I can't kill myself.

I finish and look and my mom. We both cry. I will not kill myself. I have to much to live for. I have people who care.

** Hey Guys it's Badger and that is the end. I do not own 50 reasons to live it's just a good piece. Read it cause it's down below.

http://www.teenink.com/nonfiction/memoir/article/128334/Fifty-Reasons-to-Live/