It was a marriage of convenience and at the same time not.

"Till death do us part" is morbid to me. I want "and they lived happily ever after."

What's wrong with that? Why start a life of love by thinking about death?

I choose to believe that my wife is my soulmate, that we will always be together in this life and beyond. Doesn't love endure forever?

----

10:00 pm

The cemetery whispers under the shallow moon. A frigid wind rustling newly browned leaves, each of them becoming more crisp as November draws closer.

No one comes here who means any good, it is empty almost every dusk 'till dawn, it puts the chills on even the toughest of folks. Well, no one except me. I always like being in the cemetery, quiet and peaceful.

I continue digging the grave of Mayumi Cruz. A 23-year-old woman whom I don't know. Upon her grave, it says '1997 - 2020.' This must cost fifty thousand pesos if I sell this to those Chinese folks who host ghost weddings.

As my shovel hit a firm, solid coffin. I sweep the excess soil, revealing a dark stained cherry coffin, a cushioned and quilted silky lining. It looks quite comfortably inviting.

I step aside and slowly open the coffin. From there, lies a corpse. In this job, I've seen it over and over, a corpse is a corpse unless someone who loves them sets eyes on it. That's when the atmosphere changes.

Although she is slightly devoid of skin, some features still remain. She is quite thin. I admit, she is beautiful. I've never seen a corpse this fresh. It's not like one of those bony skeletons.

She has a warm brown color hair and pastel white skin which made her pale lips stand out. Her cheeks are also pale but not too pale to my liking. She is dressed in a long white gown. The usual gown for funerals.

I feel an urge to do something. At this moment, I lower my head until we're inches far from each other. Even though the smell is like rotting flesh, I manage to keep the distance close. I am used to the smell of it.

Slowly, I close my eyes. As I am about to feel her lips, a hand grabs the back of my neck.

Her lips brush mine. Not innocently, like a tease but hot, fiery, passionate and demanding. I want to pull away before I lose myself but I can't seem to. I was completely unprepared. She's dead.

In an instant, gravity pulls me more than it can do. It's as if I'm falling fast through the soil with her lips still on mine.

Time seems to slow down while we're falling. In seconds, my body smashes with hers. I can even hear her bones smashing.

11:00 pm

The adrenaline floods my system like it's on an intravenous drip, right into my blood at full pelt. I think my heart will explode and my eyes are wide, letting in every ounce of the fading light.

I stand up, pushing away the woman and that's when I see the new world around me. Beneath my feet, the wooden floor felt soft, not as much as a firm carpet, but not right for oak planks.

On the other side of this dark, grey, dull room, lies an open coffin with a pink pillow and a candle lit beside it. Cobwebs surround this tiny room, making it a little spooky.

"You may now kiss the bride," a voice whispers behind my ear. At this moment, I can't whisper because my voice has one million reasons to shout.

I let out an exclamation point and pushed her away. I move to the edge of the room, my pants and jacket brushing against the mildewed wall, "Where am I?!"

"Here in the underworld. So are you going to marry me?" she asks while hiding her two hands at her back.

"Why should I marry you? And why am I here? You're dead!" I pointed at her hysterically while still in shock at what is happening. This can't be real. I must be dreaming.

I bite my tongue rigorously until it bleeds. I feel nothing but pain. No, I can't accept this. It's too fake to be real.

"You kissed me. I can be free now," she mutters, a hint of joy and fulfillment in her eyes.

I can feel the colors draining from my face. With my feet trembling, I sprint towards the door of this room and quickly escape only to be confronted by loud music and a large crowd of skeletons.

The music is so loud that it made my skin tingle and my lungs feel like mush. The bass thumps in time with my heart beat as though they were one, filling me from head to toe with music.

"Wait!"

Despite my fear, I turn to her. She is smiling a little, a smile with a twist to it, like the smile of a child who is determined not to weep.

"Finally, I'll be married on the day of the dead!" She takes a step towards me and I do the opposite. With what she said, a flash of spotlight beamed upon us, emphasizing our short distance.

"She's getting married!" someone shouts from the crowd and everybody cheers. I don't know what's happening when a skeleton grabs my arm and pulls me to the party of the dead. It is hard to make out the details of this party. Too many bones clamping with each other and the only source of light is the spot light.

A group of dead musicians are playing on a stage whilst everyone is enjoying.

12:00 am

Another skeleton wraps an arm around my shoulders and points at the woman in front of me "That's Mayumi. Single and currently finding true love. You should marry her so that she won't be miserable. Poor soul, she's beautiful right? Half skeleton, half flesh."

Once again, fear sits on me like a pillow over my mouth and nose. Enough air gets by it, allowing my body to keep functioning, but it's crippling all the same. My palms are sweaty and the adrenaline coursing through my system is shutting down my ability to think logically.

Sometimes freezing is the best of the choices I have.

Mayumi walks towards me and offers her hand. Not giving me the time to respond, she grabs both of my hands and sways me to the music. I see the crowd cheering and making space for us.

She is indeed beautiful, yet creepy.

My adrenaline surges again so fast I almost vomit, I can taste the saliva thickening my mouth to a rancid paste. At some point I'll have to move.

I remove my hands from hers, "I have to go," that's all I can say.

I run, feet kissing the land. Perhaps a little while ago I would have hesitated at the idea of running so far and fast, now I relish the prospect. These feet were made to travel at speed, unlike the limbs of a skeleton.

I wheeze as my burning lungs gasp for air. My legs feel numb and unsteady, painfully sore. My throat feels dry, so uncomfortably dry. I run until no music from the party can be heard.

Everything I pass through this new world is in hues of black, grey and dark blue. Mist can be found everywhere. Still running, I find myself in the middle of a dark forest.

Unable to go on, I stop to gasp for air. The forest hums with life and death all around me. I twirl about, gazing far at the woods searching for Mayumi.

"Why are you avoiding me?" a voice utters from my back.

I turn, but too slowly to be normal. My voice trails slowly like my words are unwilling to take flight, "I want to go back to my world, alive."

She laughs softly and sweeps her white dress away from her as she sits comfortably on a log, "You can only go back to your land if you'll marry me."

Soft wisps of that pale brown hair hurtle past her ear and caress the skin of her neck, jaw, cheeks and around her rather beautiful, deep eyes. Those brown eyes rimmed with thick, long, dark lashes that brush her bony cheeks every time she closes her eyes, seems to bore into me every time I look into them and nearly lose myself.

"But you're dead. If I marry you, I can't have a living wife."

She cups her face, not breaking our gaze, "You can. I am the primary wife and she'll be your secondary wife."

Suffering, loneliness, longing, desire; her eyes hold all those deep emotions and many more. She has eyes as open and honest as any child, a warmth and safety. At that moment I found my home, my place to find company when the cold winds blow.

No, Sebastian. You must not be fooled with her eyes.

"Why? Why do you have to be married?" I ask while I crouch to sit on a stone.

"They gave me 100 days and if I'm not going to get married within those days, I will be prisoned with other women not married before they die. And I don't want that. If I get married, I'll be free. That's why there is a ghost wedding tight? And I want to leave this underworld." she explains while giving hand gestures.

Her arms break sometimes but she immediately puts it back which I find cute.

"Why me?"

She extorts like it's a dumb question, "Because you kissed me. This is my last day out of that one hundred days so I need to be married. One more thing, you won't last a day here. It's either you die or go back to your world."

In that instant, words have left me. I stare into those big brown eyes with fear and contemplation. Is this how death is supposed to work?

1:00 am

"But, I don't like you as a person."

As I scan her face for a reaction, the silence hangs in the air like the suspended moment before falling in this underground world. I expect her to crumple, wail or dissolve into tears, but her face neither shows those things.

Instead, she gets up and smiles, "Okay then."

Few seconds later, I'm alone in the middle of this misty forest. Damn, I shouldn't be here if I didn't kiss her.

If I marry her, I can go back. If I don't, I'll die before sunrise. It's a win-win situation then. But it's really weird and creepy to be wedded to a dead woman.

Anxiety thoughts are driving around the block of my mind over and over, faster and faster. It's pointless. Stop. Let your thought be, Seb.

I can't. Marriage is supposed to be sacred, not a convenience. How can I tell my future living wife that I married a dead woman? Marriage isn't supposed to be like this. I value marriage as I value my future wife.

My thoughts stopped running when I heard the sad melody of a piano. The melody lures inside of me that I find myself walking towards the sound. I lost all sense of everything except for the music.

As I find my way to the music, I see Mayumi dancing to the melody. Behind her is the piano. Her broken hands play it effortlessly and independently.

Behind a tree, I watch her.

Mayumi flows in dance, it's as if it is the only way her body truly knows how to respond. Even though she dances without hands, it suits her. Her sensuality bursts through into the most vibrant picture of a beautiful soul. I watch her move to the longing and mourning music filling the forest.

As she turns, her eyes catch me standing there, less adept at hiding in the shadows. I drop my eyes momentarily before looking, and a hopeful smile plays on my lips.

She drops her gaze as she makes her way to the piano seat. I feel guilty, a strange feeling that I shouldn't have felt in the first place. She continues playing, pressing every key with intense emotions.

As I look down, I see white, wilted flowers. The flowers are dead. The grass is yellow brown. Everything in this world is dead.

I scoop up three flowers and can hear it cracking from its dead and firm stem.

Walking towards her was never my intention. My feet just find its way to hers for some reason - I don't know. This has been the first time I act in front of a woman. I was never like this in my past relationships.

I act differently with her. I just met her today but it seems like I found home. Even my brain refuses to accept what my heart dictates.

"Uhm..." I stand in front of the piano only to see the sadness in her eyes, "...flowers?"

She looks at me but quickly diverts her gaze. I heavily sighed and put the flowers in front of the old, wooden piano.

I offered my hand as an apology. I can feel her shyness yet pride consumes her. She continues playing the piano and takes no notice of my offer.

As I bring down my hand, she stands up and literally breaks her arms to play the piano.

The slow music twirls like thread around us. I move my hands to her waist. From there, we spin to the music as it slows.

2:00 am

"Are you going to marry me?" her eyes twinkled with despair while swaying.

"Yes, to get out of here..." I whispered but then her eyes shifted to the side again.

"If you burn me, I won't feel pain. If you stab me, I also won't feel pain. I don't feel anything because I'm dead yet every night, my heart aches. I need you to set me free."

"...and to set you free." and then she gave me a smile that just seems so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness that unexpected warmth rushes through me.

The music stops. Her hands from the piano walk its way up to my shoulders and offer me a ring. I pulled the golden ring from her delicate fingers as it attach back to her arms.

Staying here, death is not an option. Escaping from her is also not an option, but marrying her may be the best choice.

I got down on one knee and held the ring, "Will you marry me, Mayumi?"

Her eyes begin to swell up with tears, "Yes, uh what's your name?"

Then a look of surprise plastered into my face, and Mayumi was still confused until she realized the question. She leans back and is laughing uproariously. We both laugh.

In spite of our laughter, an agreement has been inked out from the both of us. We had nothing in common, other than a will for the right result in the end.

"Sebastian. It's Sebastian."

She takes the ring and nods profusely. I got up, but we did not hug like what normally couples do every time one proposes.

Instead, she tucks her hair behind her ear and fidgets her fingers, "Uh...let's meet at the church, follow that path, it'll lead you to the bridge."

"Oh okay."

I'm about to take a step when I hear my name.

"Do you like me?" She asks.

My mouth starts blabbering and stuttering things incoherently, "Ye--no. Uh yeah, I mean no. But maybe a yes. Argh no." I let out an exasperated sigh, " I don't know."

For a half second, we both stood there, staring at each other. She is assessing me, that I'm sure of. In this renewed silence, her eyes glow. Not that of yellow, but a different shade of brown, showing mixed emotions I first encounter.

"Okay lang. Go and prepare. I'll meet you at the church."

3:00 am

The trees have become personal. They are individuals with emotional value, evoking darkness. They are the witness of our love? No, that wasn't love. They are the witness of our dance.

It is refreshing to have a feeling of not being alone, but scary when the huge trees look down with stern judgment. So, walking among them is a joy and a fearful experience at the same time.

In my mind, I am trying to compose a vow that would mean specifically to Mayumi. Our will to be free from this Underworld binds us and this is the only way to get out.

I cut off a twig and hold it in my hand. This is a closer figure to Mayumi's hands. With a deep breathe, words began leaving my mouth as I practice my vow.

"I, Sebastian Uy, take you Mayumi Cruz as my husband...husband?"

I scratch the back of my hair and slightly laugh. I'm lost in my thoughts again. Just the thought of her makes my mind scramble. Okay, let me try again.

"I, Sebastian Uy, take you Mayumi Cruz as my wife forever...forever?"

She's dead and I'm alive. How can that be forever? How about this?

"I, Sebastian Uy, take you Mayumi Cruz as my wife. I vow to hold your hand in my hand, to hold your head in my hands, and to hold your heart in mine...wait, she doesn't even have a beating heart."

Why do I keep forgetting that she's dead? She'll be offended if I recite that vow.

"I love you and you are my wife for all time...no, we just met each other, I can't say I love her. Do I?"

This is annoying. Why can't I think of a vow?

Dark spruce forest trees frown on either side of the waterway. The trees have been stripped by a recent wind, and they seem to lean toward each other, black and ominous, in the fading light. A vast silence reigned over the land.

The bridge in front of me arches elegantly over the clear blue river. At first glance, the river seemed serene and peaceful, but underneath the surface withholds violent currents that would whisk away anyone who dared touch it. The stone bridge is the only way to cross it, for the deadly river splits the entire land in half.

"I, Sebastian Uy, take you Mayumi Cruz as my wife. Today I say, "I do" but to me that means, "I will". I will take your hand and stand by your side in the good and the bad. I dedicate myself to your happiness, success, and smile."

That should be enough. No commitments. No exchange of 'I love you's.'

4:00 am

After crossing the bridge, I see from afar the tall church with a huge bell hanging on top. Four o'clock says the gigantic clock just below the bell.

It seems like almost all people are on the other side of the bridge, partying. Houses depict an obscure cavern of brimming darkness, which is normal in this world.

A modern road leads me to the church where I should be waiting. I have approximately one hour before sunrise. One hour before I die if I did not make it.

Beside the road are roses. They are not extravagant white nor red. They were once red, only withered. I pluck one rose and put on one of the pockets of my jacket.

Shoving my hands to my pants' pocket, I release a sigh. This will be a memorable night. The night of my unexpected wedding.

I walk my way to the church, pushing its big doors. Everything is the opposite of what I expected. I should have known better. I see old stone walls and decaying benches. I can hear the organ music and smell of decaying flowers brought by the fussy old, skeleton ladies. I see skeletal children chasing each other to their parent's exasperation and the delight of the lonely widows.

There are approximately fifty skeletons inside this church and I'm the only one alive.

I set foot on the maroon carpet. Everyone's eyes are on me.

"Is he the one?"

"Will he set her free?"

"Oh I'm jealous."

"At last, her final day."

"Such a brave soul."

Although those were whispers, I could still hear them. Some are sad, some are glad, some don't even care.

I reach the altar where a dead priest stands, wearing completely black while reading a bible. I awkwardly stood in front, near the priest, where the groom should be.

5:00 am

Minutes have passed like hours of waiting for Mayumi. What if I never gonna make it? From the big window of the church, I see the eastern sky fills with blended tones of rosy pinks and sandy yellows. Dawn will end sooner or later.

The doors of the church open.

Finally the day I've dreading is here and I can't halt the dawn ebbing it's gradual way into daylight.

Despite Mayumi's skeletal features, she walks elegantly with her white gown in the aisle. No flower girls, no ring bearers, no bridesmaid nor other fancy things in our wedding. It's just visitors whom I never met before and this woman I just met last night.

She holds a bouquet of flowers and smiles at me. This is one of the prettiest smiles I've seen so far for it extends to her ears while genuinely walking.

My eyes are fixed on her, observing every feature she possesses, yet her eyes are one of the most beautiful features she has. I may not know her personally, but deep down I know she's a kind-hearted woman that needs to be loved.

They say the eyes are windows, the thing is, I can see through them. I can see her pain and her gentleness just the same. I see how every emotion comes together to form the art of her soul. It forms a picture I see in an instant and comprehend with full depth.

She takes a final step and stands beside me. Staring into her eyes makes me feel lost again to the point that I can't decipher what the priest is saying.

"We gather here to unite these two people in marriage. Their decision to marry has not been entered into lightly and today they publicly declare their private devotion to each other." The priest pauses and sternly looks at me while waiting.

I first glance at the visitors, they're all anticipating wearing the same expression I saw a while ago. I hold Mayumi's hands, the rough structure of her bones piercing my skin.

"I, Sebastian Uy, take you Mayumi Cruz as my wife. Today I say, 'I do' but to me that means, 'I will.' I will take your hand and stand by your side in the good and the bad. I dedicate myself to your happiness, success, and smile."

The moment I told my vow, she just looked at me as if the words were still circulating in her mind and not yet allowed to flow outward into the world.

"I, Mayumi Cruz, take...take..."

Mayumi paused, letting her eyes roam around the church from one skeleton to another, "...take."

Squeezing her hand gently, I anticipate for her vow,

"Oh no! She's having second thoughts!" someone whispered from the visitors, however it is loud enough for us to hear.

"I, Mayumi Cruz, vow to understand that just as we are a mystery to ourselves, we are also each other's personal mystery. I seek to understand you, Sebastian Uy, to examine your mind continually and to regard all the mysteries of life with curiosity and joy." I smile at her as she smiles at me.

The priest pronounces another statement which I find odd, "Go now in peace and live in love, sharing the most precious gifts you have-the gifts of your lives united. And may your days be long in this world. I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Slowly, I clasp my hands behind her neck and pull her close. I can now go back. I lowered my head closer just like what I did last night. Closer and closer, until no gaps would fill.

Suddenly, before we can kiss, she breaks away, "This is wrong."

The church began to fill with whispers, "What's wrong?" I ask.

"Seb, my kiss is death. You'll die if you kiss me," she desperately tries to hide how fearful she is, but she couldn't control the tremor in her voice.

"But, I kissed you last night. I did not die."

She cups my face with her rough hands, "No. You're half alive and half dead. That's why you're here because you're half dead. One more kiss and you'll die."

She tricked me. Either way I will still die. I'll die at sunrise or I'll die with her kiss, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was so selfish. I wanted to be free, but I don't want you to die. You breathe air, while I don't. I don't want to snatch your life because of my needs. If you burn me, I won't feel pain. If you stab me, I also won't feel pain. I don't feel anything because I'm dead yet every night, my heart aches. I need you to set me free, but this is wrong."

Her eyes shifted to the side again and became glazed with a glassy layer of tears. As she blinked, they dripped from her eyelids and slid down her cheeks, "Even if I'm dead, my non-beating heart aches. You're not mine Sebastian. You don't deserve to be here. You don't deserve to be with me."

I still don't know what to feel. Should I be sad because I'm going to die? Should I be angry because she didn't tell me?

"Mayumi, I promised myself to set you free. I want you to be happy. I see sorrow beneath your eyes. I want you to feel life full of love in your world. I am determined. If I'm going to die, you'll be here with me," again, I lower my face to hers but she put her hand in between our lips.

"You deserve true love, Sebastian. This is not the world for you. You have a tender heart, but that heart of yours can't beat for me. You're alive, yet I'm dead. This is my final day waiting for a groom and I'm happy that I met you. Even though our time together is short, I will cherish every moment we had. In this land of the dead, you brought back life within me. There's another way for you to go back. I'm sorry Sebastian, you don't deserve this at all. I love you in different aspects and ways, but this can't be."

She reaches for the cup of red liquid on top of the altar. It seems like she had prepared for this. As I watch her drink the cup, tears start to stream down my cheeks. I read about this ghost wedding when I was young. The ghost bride has the option to accept her faith and live in hell by drinking the poison.

I watch her dissipate into the thin air. One by one, her body evaporates like grains of sand until I can no longer feel her hand.

The next thing I knew, I'm also dissipating and at the same time floating. All of a sudden, everything went black.

6:00 am

The early morning sunlight, soft and diffuse, gives way to the first strong rays of the day, the ones that bring true warmth. My eyes rest upon golden arcing rays.

I look up and my breath is caught in my throat. I'm still here, alive, lying beside Mayumi's corpse. I fight the urge to kiss her and go back to the Underworld, but I respect her decision.

"May you rest in peace."

I closed the coffin and began filling up the hole I made with soil, covering the nuisance I made. I finish it in not more than thirty minutes.

It was a marriage of convenience and at the same time not.

"Till death do us part" is morbid to me. I want "and they lived happily ever after."

What's wrong with that? Why start a life of love by thinking about death?

I choose to believe that my wife is my soulmate, that we will always be together in this life and beyond. Doesn't love endure forever?

The rose in my jacket's pocket caught my attention. It's alive. The fresh color of red is sipping through it.

I place the rose in front of her grave as a thanksgiving of her sacrifice just to let me live.

Mayumi Cruz

March 18, 1997

February 6, 2020

She made me see what life is, and what death signifies, and why love is stronger than both. I don't want to say 'until death do us part,' if I had a thousand lifetimes I'd want them all to be with her. Isn't that what soulmates should share? Isn't that what true love is? Love that lives on past these mortal bones?"

Now I know, some say there's no such thing as true love, that it all ends in heartbreak and pain, but I think that's the beauty of it.

To have something so perfect for such a short while, and then for it to disappear into nothing. It's an endless loop, never ending, always on the move. You never know where it will take you. That's the thing about love, it's so beautiful and mysterious and magical.

I believe we all deserve a chance at love, because we all deserve something magical. And for me, my magic started with a corpse.

************************************

#GhostWedding