Jack's POV:

He closes his eyes, not opening them no matter how many times I say his name. I gently put him in the back of my car, pulling off his socks and pants. I needed to remove his wet clothing, as it would only make him colder.

I take the one blanket from the back of my car and set it beside him. I pull my sweatshirt off and put it on him, wrapping the blanket around him immediately after. I start the car, driving to the hospital as fast as I can. I dial Rian, praying that his number hadn't changed in our eight years of not speaking. He picks up almost instantly.

"Did you find him?" he asks worriedly.

"Yes, he's unconscious because he was freezing to death, I'm driving to the hospital right now."

"Does he have a pulse?"

"I can't check, I'm driving!"

"Oh, well-,"

"Red light, I can check." I quickly turn around, desperately feeling for a pulse. I panic when I don't find one, but he's still breathing extremely shallow breaths. I eventually find a pulse, but it's very weak.

"There's a pulse, but he doesn't have much longer," I say into the phone as the light turns green.

"Zack and I will meet you at the hospital. Take care of our boy, okay?"

"Always," I reply, hanging up.

Please don't die, Lex. Please keep breathing.

I pull into the parking lot, taking Alex into my arms as I sprint for the doors. I quickly explain what happened, and Alex gets wheeled away by some nurses as I'm left alone in the waiting room. I ask if I'm allowed to see him, but I'm denied.

"Is he going to live?" I ask weakly.

"Honestly, things aren't looking too good, but we're doing everything we can to ensure he reaches consciousness again," the nurse tells me. "What's your relationship with him?"

That was a good question. What was my relationship with Alex? We never really broke up, did we?

"Jack is Alex's boyfriend," Zack says from behind me, Rian beside him.

"And we're his best friends," Rian adds, slinging an arm around me. I smile a little despite the severity of the situation. I had my best friends back.

Or, one of them at least...

"Jack will be able to visit before you two do," the nurse says. "But not yet."

I sigh, all of us turning around to go back into the waiting room. We sit for a few hours, making conversation about anything we could to distract ourselves.

"Jack, we need to leave and get some sleep," Zack says, placing his hand on my arm.

"I'm not leaving Alex," I protest.

"They're not going to let you in. At least get some sleep so you can be the best version of yourself i- when he wakes up," Rian says.

I sigh, knowing that they were right. I walk out the front doors, all of us driving in our separate vehicles. Rian goes to his own house while Zack and I both arrive home at the same time. We don't say a word to each other as we depart to enter our separate bedrooms.

I lock the door behind me, opening the closet to find a shirt to wear to sleep.

That's when I see Alex's sweatshirt.

When I ran away to live with Zack, I'd worn Alex's sweatshirt. Once I was here, I never wore it again. It hurt too much to see it, let alone wear it. I hesitantly pull it over my head, relishing Alex's scent as it washed over me and filled me with warmth. I remember every kiss, every 'I love you', every night I fell asleep beside him- all of it.

I'd taken him for granted in a way. I thought I wasn't good enough for him and he'd end up abandoning me, and I didn't want to feel that pain. I always told myself that this is how the world works- you gotta leave before you get left. I was wrong. He wouldn't have left, he did love me as much as I loved him.

He never made me doubt how much he cared. Every fight ended with him wrapping me in his arms, assuring me that he'd always love me, no matter what. He'd kiss my forehead and whisper sweet nothings in my ear every night as I drifted off to sleep. He always checked in on me, and when I had a bad day, we'd watch movies, eat snacks, and cuddle until I felt okay again. He knew I was socially anxious, so he'd squeeze my hand and promise me everything would be okay, no matter how worried he was himself. It was always about me.

He gave me forever, but I threw it all away. And for what? This? Who in their right mind would throw away a perfect relationship for living half a life? A life with no meaning? A life where the color is drained from everything? I thought this would be better, but in the end, I'm still filled with regret.

I sit on the cool floor, clutching Alex's sweatshirt around my thin frame. The immense guilt washes over me, every breath stinging my heart. Alex didn't deserve this. I bring my knees to my forehead, hugging my legs to my chest. I rock back and forth slightly as quiet sobs escape my feeble body.

Alex can't die. Maybe this was some kind of sick, twisted punishment for how badly I hurt him, but he didn't deserve death. I wanted to hold him and tell him it would be okay, but he could be dead right this second for all I know. He can't die, he just can't. I want a second chance to make him feel so, so loved. I'll never leave his side again, no matter what my brain tries to convince me this time. I want that chance, but at this point, I may not get it.