It was so quiet in my room, I even heard the bubbling of the sparkling water next to me.

My knees were dragged up to my chest as I sat on my bed, my arms encircling my legs as if I was afraid I'd fall apart if I let go now.

The painkillers Chungha had given me earlier didn't help a bit against the massive headache that had me feeling as if my brain was about to combust.

There are no ghosts.

I flinched when the deep silence was broken by my room's door being opened abruptly, my host mom entering the room with a concerned expression she tried her best to hide, "Did you- did you think about my offer?"

Her blonde hair was neatly combed, white blouse looking stunning on her milky skin. She looked so calm and collected.

A total opposite of how she'd been last evening.

◆♤❦

Song: Trying - Cavetown

The car stopped in front of the large building and I forced myself to stand up.

Chungha was immediately by my side, helping me up.

"Jesus Christ, is everything okay? What happened?"

"N-Nothing..." I answered, wiping the tears of my face, "Let's just go home."

Home.

I've never called it that before.

She stared at me for a moment, before she made up her mind and opened the car, letting me slide down into the passenger seat.

She too entered the car, starting the motor soon, eyes trained onto the street.

It was silent for a moment, no one daring to say anything.

My thoughts were circling around the same thing, repeating the same scene in my mind over and over again.

Hoseok, turning around to me with those blue shining eyes, hand holding his sword tightly and shadows surrounding him, a desperate expression on his face as he calls me by my name.

A frustrated sob escaped my lips.

"Do you really not want to talk about it?" My heart felt heavy when I looked into the young women's eyes, expression so concerned and pained, as if it was physically hurting her that she didn't know how to help me. How the heck had I gotten so lucky with my foster mom?

Or, even more important, how the heck hadn't I recognized how good of a person she actually is?

"La- Later..." I mumbled, "I'll tell you later. Just not now. Please."

The answer seemed good enough for her, because she turned her face back to the street, fingers fumbling on the radio until a gentle tune chimed through the car:

"I'm not really sure if my words make sense to you."

Hoseok had always been good to me. I'd even try to understand him if he would've told me who he really is.

"But I can't really find any other way to form these feelings into cubes
And sort them in my mind."

But he lied to me. About him knowing my name, about everything. Which shouldn't have been so shocking for me. If only he wouldn't have managed to make me trust him before.

"The negative thoughts go on the left"

I fucking trusted him. He was the first one I felt like that about for.... since forever.

"And the happy things on the right"

I would've trusted him with my life, probably. The thought was scary to me.

"And there's a little corner saved just for you"

◆♤❦

"Y/N?" Chungha interrupted my flow of thoughts, "I asked you if you thought about my offer of going to church with me?"

I blinked, "Uh- I..."

What did I have to lose? It was a god damn church. If the ghost of some 100 year old lady decided to come for me, then it shall be like that. At least this would be a way to show Chungha my gratitude.

"I'll come with you."

Silence.

"Wait, really?!"

"Eh, yes?"

"Wow, okay. That's..." Chungha smiled brightly, "That's great! You won't regret it!"

It was weird, the feeling I got while walking down the path to the church, past the cemetery. The same cemetery, where Hoseok and I had danced, between silvery lights and ghosts.

He hadn't felt like one of them. He'd felt warm and firm and human.

My eyes snapped up when I felt a hand on my shoulder, meeting eyes with Chungha's encouraging smile.

I got weird stares from all sides when we entered the building, many people greeting the blonde an asking her about me as if I wasn't standing right next to them.

Chungha always smiled politely, introducing me as her "protege", elegantly dodging every personal question about me, before we finally reached her destined seat rows. I've always known that the blonde was deeply involved wit her Christian community, but seeing her being familiar with seemingly everyone we met, even having her predestined fucking seat row was a bit shocking.

I felt, as always, out of place between all those nice, upright people. I didn't know any of the songs that were sung or any of the prayers.

The pastor was a man in his forties, with gray hair and soft features, eyes crinkling as he spoke, "Today, I want to tell you about truth."

I slid down deeper into my seat, preparing myself for a boring speech, the monotonous voice of the pastor making me feel sleepy already.

"By definition truth is that which is true or in accordance with fact or reality." He started, "But it rather is a belief that is broadly accepted as true. We talk about the relative truth. Our religion for example, is such a thing - though there is no proof for the ultimate truth of what our beliefs are build up on, people consider it as true and trust it."

I sat up straight again, eyes narrowing in on the grey haired pastor talking.

 "Truth or reality in general, is something that cannot be decided by a single person, yet everyone feels different about it. Your reality might not be that of another one. And although we all live in different realities, have different truths, we all exist together. And we should accept it as that. Living together, accepting each other's truth and loving each other no matter if our beliefs are the same."

I stared at the man speaking feeling an uneasiness creep up my bones at his words, which I could not quite spot the source of. 

He was right. What he said was right and important. Why was it unsettling me like this?

Your reality might not be that of another one

"Y/N?" 

I jumped up startled, when I once again felt Chungha's hand on my shoulder. She looked down at me amused and I noted that the people around us were leaving already.

"You seemed quite out of it. Did you like the speech?"

"I... yes. Yes, it was nice." And I meant it.

I've never been one for religion, not agreeing with many of the beliefs people are taught to believe, not liking how religion was the reason for so much shedded blood throughout humanity's history. 

But this- I had been pleasantly surprised, didn't expect a topic that seemed so untypical for church to be addressed. Yet it somehow fit and it was important.

No matter if you agree with another one, try to understand them, try to get to know them anyways.

I scoffed, sensing the ridiculous irony behind all this.

Hoseok. 

What is your truth? What is your reality?

◆♤❦

I'm sorry that it took me so long to update, I got into jail for tax evasion but it's all settled now☺️

xx