I stare at myself in the mirror absentmindedly, thinking about earlier tonight as I brush my hair. I've already changed into my nightgown, ready for bed since Rocco said I could go on ahead since he still had some work he needed to do before he'd turn in for the night. My attention gets drawn outside as one of the motion sensor lights from the garden turns on, I follow the familiar dark figure with my eyes as I put down my brush and move closer to the window. It's Luca who's darting toward his car and I can't help but chuckle softly. He's probably avoiding Rocco so he can go and return that bag she forgot earlier... I smile as Luca reaches his car and starts the engine, his car slipping slightly on the gravel as he speeds off in the darkness of the night. Dios mio... How many times do I need to tell you to drive more carefully, mi Hijo.

Just when I'm about to turn around I see Micah darting out of the mansion throwing his hands in the air out of desperation. I sigh and turn around heading for the closet. I'd better go down and talk to him. Quickly I put on some comfortable clothes and a pair of slippers before heading back downstairs to see Micah sitting at the bottom of the staircase dragging his hands through his hair in frustration. I sit down next to him and pat him on the head lovingly as I mumble.

'Don't worry about it, Micah. He'll be fine. I know you only want to protect him, and I'm grateful for that. But unfortunately, we can't follow them around every second of the day.'

'I know that. I just wish he would tell me when he heads out, so I at least know where he is.'

Micah grumbles honestly and I smile at him as I lower my hand. I know Micah would easily throw his life away if it would mean he could save Luca's. It must kill him that he's been put on the back burner.

'Just give this some time, I'm sure you've noticed the change in Luca ever since he met Karma. Rocco and I see it as well.'

'Is it a good thing, though?'

He whispers almost afraid to voice it out loud. I turn to him smiling, understanding his awareness.

'He needs you more than anyone to stand beside him, Micah. No matter what path he chooses, have faith in my son. He'll come around, you'll see.'

Micah nods and smiles halfheartedly at me as he stands up and he wishes me a good night before heading back to his quarters. I decide to go to the kitchen and pour myself a drink since I'm wide awake by now. I take a second glass out of the cabinet and put some ice in it, along with my husband's favorite brand of bourbon. I hate it when we get into an argument, so I know I won't be able to fall asleep until I get some peace of mind and talk to him in private. I turn off the lights in the kitchen and head for Rocco's study. As I enter the hall I notice the door is slightly ajar and the hushed tones of Rocco talking with Sonny ring in my ears.

'Yes, I saw him speed away just now. If he wants to piss off he should at least learn to do it quietly...'

'What did you expect? Did you actually think that putting a gun on him was the right way to go about it?'

'He needed a push. Though I didn't anticipate that Elena would take the situation so seriously.'

Sonny's low rumble echoes through the hall as he snickers at my husband's words. I halt in front of the door and see Rocco sitting on a leather couch opposite of Sonny, looking outside and smiling softly into the distance as he whispers.

'My wife's a dime in a dozen. Isn't she, Sonny?'

'And you better not forget that, cariño.'

I say sweetly clicking my tongue as I enter the study and walk towards Rocco. His head turns in my direction and he smiles sweetly at me as if he already knew I was standing there.

'Not a chance, darling.'

I hand him the glass and he takes a quick sip before setting it down and ushering me to sit with him. Rocco clamps his arm around my waist as I sit down beside him and he kisses me on my cheek before he turns his attention back to Sonny.

'Did you finally manage to locate the whereabouts of Becker?'

'No, we had a lead but it's like he has vanished in thin air. We're not sure if he's in hiding or if he skipped town, but no one seems to know where he went.'

'Goddammit, it's been over two bloody years and he's still slipping through our fingers! From now on this takes your priority. I don't care if he moved to Alaska, find him! I won't tolerate someone double-crossing me. For now, I'll give you ten men at your disposal. Use them how you see fit.'

Rocco growls from frustration. I gotta give Becker some credit for avoiding our grasp for so long, though I know his luck will run out eventually. Rocco looks at Sonny as he stands up and says.

'I want him alive, Sonny.'

Sonny nods and excuses himself as he heads out. Rocco turns his attention to me and holds me close. His warmth envelops me and I bask in it, leaning on his shoulder. After a few minutes, he looks up and peers into my eyes as he says a little bashfully.

'I'm sorry I made you mad darling, it was never my intention to hurt Luca. You know that, right?'

'Of course, I know that. But even when it's you, a mother's instinct kicks in when she sees her child in immediate danger. The same goes for when there's a gun pointed toward her husband.'

I smile as Rocco lays a soft kiss on my lips. He draws back and sighs relieved that I'm no longer angry with him before he takes a sip of the drink I brought him while he mutters with a smile on his face.

'Hence the reason why I try to get you involved as less as possible with work.'

'I know that, Rocco. But I also know that sometimes it is inevitable. I chose this life, I chose to stand by your side no matter what.'

'And I wouldn't have it any other way, darling.
I'm sorry for all the heartbreak I've cost you over the years, you don't deserve it. Sometimes I wish you'd leave me so you could be free to live a calm and happy life.'

My heart tightens at his words and I softly lay a hand on his cheek, making him turn in my direction as I tell him sternly.

'I am happy with the life I have. I love you, and only you. Never feel guilty for that, mi verdadero amor.'

He smiles defeated before giving me another kiss while he whispers.

'See, this is why you are the woman I love. Even though I say I wish you'd leave me sometimes, I don't think I can survive a day without you next to me.'

I smile and close my eyes content with being by my husband's side. We've been through many hardships over the years and I'm sure there will be more to come... Some wounds will never truly heal, but I know that as long as we have each other we'll get through it all. In each other's company, we both enjoy the silence for a little while until Rocco suddenly starts explaining why he did what he did earlier tonight.

'He needed a push, Elena. I know you noticed it earlier as well, he can't forgive himself for what happened to Tony and Rico.'

'Yes, I know. We all have scars in our hearts from that evening that'll never fade away.'

'The scars will always be there, but Luca can't doubt his intuition for the rest of his life because of what happened. He needs to stand strong since he'll become the head of this family one day.'

'I don't think he doubts his intuition, Rocco. That night he told me he had a gut feeling that something was off... He blames himself for not acting on it by speaking with you that evening. He blames himself because he didn't stop the raid, in his mind he thinks he could've prevented what happened that night...'

A lone tear of sorrow drips down my cheek as Rocco looks at me his eyes wavering. I had a feeling Luca never told his father this. Rocco wipes away the salty liquid from my cheek with the tip of his thumb and sighs.

'It probably wouldn't have made a difference at the time. It took weeks to get that raid ready in the first place, no one would've agreed to blow it off just because of a hunch. Even if he was right in the end.'

'I agree, but Luca doesn't see it that way. You can tell him not to feel guilty all you want, not that it'll work. You know how he is.'

'You're right.'

Rocco rasps bitterly, knowing his son all too well. I smile softly at him before standing up to pour him another drink, I walk to one of the cabinets in the office and grab a bottle of bourbon from it. As I pour some more in his glass I glance at Rocco who's gazing outside. He feels like he has the world resting on his shoulders. I close the bottle and put it back as I say.

'You two are so much alike, it scares me sometimes. You both act like you can handle the world on your own, but in truth, your hearts are bleeding. You don't have to deny it because I know, darling... I know because I'm your wife and his mother. You have to look tough for the outside world, but please don't ever shut me out. Tell me whenever something is bothering you.'

I sit back down and clasp my arms around Rocco giving him a kiss on his jawbone. He looks at me lovingly while he murmurs.

'You are the only one with whom I can truly let my guard down, that'll never change. It's true that I worry about Luca's state of mind, even more so now you told me he had a feeling that something was going to go wrong.'

'I know, dear. But once you've caught Becker, and I know you will, Luca will eventually get some peace of mind. He's the one who was truly at fault.'

Rocco nods emptying his glass at once, I too empty my glass and that's when I see a pair of car lights flash through the window next to us. Luca. At the same time, my husband's low rumble of laughter rings in my ears as he chuckles.

'That was pretty quick. Do you think he got brushed off again?'

'Gheheh... Probably, though they are an entertaining pair to watch.'

'You can say that again...
What are your thoughts about Karma now you've actually met her?'

'Well, it's the first time Luca's brought a girl home that isn't covered in make-up and wearing a dress so short that it's making me look at a pair of pantyhose...'

I chuckle, making Rocco choke on a sip of his drink. He coughs several times catching his breath while laughing at my comment.

'Don't get me wrong, I think she's a beautiful woman. She has a strong personality and I was impressed by her behavior. I've never seen a woman besides myself speak up to you, Luca needs a woman like that in his life.'

'That's another reason I did what I did, you know...'

'Honey. I don't think she would've backed down on you, even if that gun of yours was pointed at her forehead.'

'I know that already. I mean I did it for Luca.'

Rocco snickers, clearly entertained by her strong-minded character. It can be a dangerous thing not to be afraid of anything. I honestly think she underestimates my husband to some extent, but I also respect her more for not backing down whatsoever. I thought Rocco pulled his gun to prove a point against Karma, but the fact that he says he didn't makes me wonder so I ask.

'What do you mean by that?'

'As you said before Luca only ever brought tramps over that looked like they just got out of some kind of brothel. The only thing he thought about was having a good time with them, nothing serious. This is the first time I see him genuinely interested in a girl.'

'So you thought pulling a gun on them both was the answer?'

I ask skeptically lifting an eyebrow. I know you have interesting ways of solving things querido, but this one goes beyond me... Rocco chuckles at my puzzled expression and continues.

'If he wants Karma, he should be ready to stand by her no matter what.
As I said before if he wants to become my successor, he needs to stand tall. Besides your blood, there's one person you should do anything for, the woman you love. He did me proud by pulling a gun against me in order to defend her. If he would've cowered away at that moment he didn't deserve someone like her next to him, or the title of head of the family.'

He beams proudly while I let out a sigh. Dios mio, what am I to do with the both of you? I understand why this is so important to Rocco. Especially after what happened with Tony and Rico. Still, he needs to understand not everyone has the same mindset as him. I drag a hand through my curly hair and mutter.

'Just try to avoid these situations in the future. This was her first time coming over for dinner. Mierda. What will she think of us, Rocco?'

'For her goes the same, if she wants to be with Luca she'll have to stand strong and accept us as we are. She isn't the easiest one to deal with herself, so I don't think tonight was that much of a shock to her.'

'It's obvious she still harbors a lot of pain inside of her. Probably the same pain you saw the day you met her, I can read it in her eyes.'

'She tries very hard to hide it. I don't know if she remembers coming here because it was all so hectic back then, but...'

'Oh no, she knew.'

Rocco looks at me quizzically and I smile as I tell him.

'When I met her in the kitchen she couldn't stop looking around as if it was all familiar and she was trying to remember something. I think she knew she has been here before, but it's still a bit blurry.'

We watch Luca lazily stroll through the yard in no hurry to head back in, probably because he's afraid Rocco is still on his case.

'You should trust him to do this at his own pace. They both have scars that run deep, it takes time to earn the trust so they can get past that.'

'I know that. But you also know that patience isn't my greatest virtue.'

I roll my eyes chuckling as I stand up. Picking up our glasses as I tell him with a smirk playing on my lips.

'That's why you've become gray so early, it's due to all the worrying and stressing yourself out over things you can't control.'

Without asking, I walk to his desk and close his computer. Also turning off the little light on his desk before looking back at Rocco, who's already standing close to me and I can't help but tease.

'And some say you're getting "Rusty"...'

'Let's go to bed, darling. Then I'll show you how "Rusty" I am...'

He grins and I can't help but laugh as I pass my arm through his while turning off the last light before I close the door. Both of us leaving the office behind us as we head upstairs.