I stand outside, a shiver running over my spine as I think back about my marvelous dance with Matt. As well as what Charlotte told me earlier in the hallway this evening. You better make up your mind, before I do it for you... Her words have been echoing in my head over and over again ever since. Making me uneasy, to say the least. I had made up my mind, goddammit! But the way she said it made me question everything. Frienemies are apparently a real thing. I scoff to myself. I thought she had changed after what happened with Ian. But she's still the same manipulating bitch, she used to be! I swear and as if calling upon the devil she emerges beside me, her face annoyingly stoic as always as she asks.

'I was looking for you. Can we talk for a minute?'

'What about?'

I mutter, hoping I can still hightail out of here. Although, unfortunately, she seems resilient as she keeps me from leaving. Turning to me with a serious expression on her face as she answers with a resolute tone in her voice.

'Matt.'

'Jesus, Charlotte. Not this again!'

I groan, having no intention whatsoever to share my private life with her out of all people. But, undoubtedly, she doesn't take no for an answer as she snaps.

'No, Lexi. I just want you to understand something.'

'Which is what?'

I sigh, finally turning to meet her gaze. Just get it over with... I huff, resisting the urge to pinch my nose.

'I am not going to give up on him... He deserves someone who will actually give him the attention he deserves, instead of being afraid to be seen around him.'

'Are you shitting me right now?!'

Who does she think she is?! I bite back the words, trying not to let anger take over as I mutter.

'Not that it is any of your business, Charlotte, but you have no fucking clue what you're talking about.'

'You can't keep up with him, he needs someone that can move at his pace. Someone daring enough to satisfy his needs. God knows why he keeps following you like some goddamn puppy! He can do better than that.'

'Oh, let me guess... You're the better in that notion? Open your eyes and learn to take no for an answer, he has never given two shits about you!'

'Is that so? You know Matt kissed me that evening after your little birthday party, right?'

'W-What?'

I stutter, feeling as if the floor underneath my feet is starting to crumble. That's impossible! I shake my head, leaning back against a pillar for support. Struggling to find words, my mind bounces all over the place not willing to believe what she's saying.

'Y-You're lying, Matt would never get involved with such a basket case as you! You've been stalking him ever since we were kids! You couldn't stand the fact that you never seemed able to grasp his attention!'

'Ask him yourself...'

She sneers maliciously, a smug look on her face while she plays with her long spiky nails. I want to rip her fucking throat out! I swear, already balling my hand into a fist. Digging my fingers into my skin as I try to distract myself, focussing on the bass that vibrates from the inside.

'He sees you as just another thing to play with until he gets bored again, which he will. As he has done to every other girl before you.'

She huffs, dragging her eyes at me from over her nails in a bored manner. No... I shake my head again, her eyes and voice filled with disdain as she continues.

'Better enjoy it while it lasts. Because Cinderella, midnight is coming whether you like it or not.'

I don't know why her words hurt so much, but they do. It feels like my heart is getting torn to pieces with fear! I shrink, not knowing what to say or do to make her back off and drive that anxiety away. What if she's telling the truth? I quail, looking down at the floor as I feel tears burning in the corners of my eyes. I was planning on telling Matt that I still loved him later tonight, but now my confidence has taken a massive blow and I'm not sure what to do anymore. What if I am just another prized possession to him? I can't help but wonder, thinking back to what Rosa said. Am I really a cheap stuffed bear that you win at a game of skee ball or a shooting? They always seem so cute and shiny the minute you win them, but as soon as you get home you notice it has a funny mouth or a wonky eye. Suddenly making them less interesting... Doomed to end up somewhere in a dusty and forgotten corner in your attic. I cringe, my muscles shaking with anger and confusion until I hear Néomy's voice calls out from behind me as she stalks up to the both of us.

'Lex!'

The moment she sees the look on my face she turns to Charlotte, fuming with anger while she roars.

'I don't know what you said this time around... But girl, you better get the fuck out of here. Before I kick you!'

'Excuse me?'

Charlotte asks flabbergasted, rolling her tongue and making a tsk sound. The annoying noise almost sends both of us over the edge. God, I hate you! I glare as Néomy's voice turns deadly low when she threatens Charlotte.

'Go, now. I won't repeat myself a third time.'

Charlotte sniffs frustratedly still reluctant to leave, as she makes sure it doesn't go unknown doing a dramatic exit. Purposely clacking her heels against the tiles as she storms off.

'What did she do?!'

Néomy snarls, still keeping her eyes on the door to make sure she isn't coming back.

'I, s-she... N-Nevermind, it's nothing.'

I bite out although I know she easily sees through my farse. I'm just not in the mood to talk about it aloud. Sighing she gives me half a hug. Trying to comfort me in any other way, she hands me her shot with the other.

'Here, you need it.'

'...That's tequila.'

I state looking at the clear content of the glass, immediately shaking my head. Oh, no!

'Alcohol is not a good plan right now.'

'It'll get the edge off, you certainly could use that...'

She motions ushering me to throw it back at once as she adds.

'Come on, you'll end up murdering people before the party ends otherwise...'

You're probably right. I reluctantly nod my head, wanting a breather as well after all this bullshit. Grabbing the glass from her hand and throwing it back, emptying the content in one go. Fucking hell! I swear, pulling a face at the familiar sting while I grumble.

'Without salt and lemon, this tastes like shit.'

'Yeah, forgot them since I came hauling to the rescue.'

Néomy laughs, rubbing my shoulder before she starts to drag me back inside to get second rounds. This time with lemon and salt! We choose to join Ryan and Kendall at one of the side tables, happily chatting together as Néomy prepares shots for all of us.

'I'm jealous you know...'

I pout at Ryan as Kendall has his arm wrapped around him. You're just too cute... I continue studying the loving gaze in his eyes as he can't seem to tear his eyes away from his lover. You're perfect for one another. Ryan is the more girly one of the two, whereas Kendall is just absolute perfection. His short-cropped brown hair, light stubble, and slightly roguish voice make him more manly. His bright blue eyes and pearly white teeth have the ability to make every woman ...and gay man, of course, melt into a puddle.

I can still vividly remember the first time Ryan introduced us. I giggle. Me, being me, I blurted out the first thing that came to mind at the time. 'Fucking hell, why do you have to be gay?' Luckily it caused Kendall to burst out in laughter. Humored that I'd just said it outright while most people wouldn't be so forthcoming... Not that I planned to be! He had only just disappointed every woman in the universe. I only felt the irresistible need to point that out... I huff with a laugh, although I would never try to intervene with Ryan's happiness since I love them both to pieces. It was just a bit of a bummer at the time, to realize he wasn't even remotely on the market.

But damn, it still doesn't hurt to look at him... I swoon, making them laugh as the four of us knock back our first set of shots before Kendall teases.

'What's there to be envious of? You've got some pretty decent eye candy too...'

He winks, gesturing over to where Matt's standing. Can't disagree with that. I blush, chewing the inside of my lip. My heart fluttering instantly at the sight of him. He is bloody handsome... Goosebumps trail over my skin, a faint remembrance of where he touched me while we danced together. I watch his bulky figure as he leans beside the bar, lazily drinking some whiskey while being wrapped up in conversation with my sister. Okay, scratch that. Matt is even more flawless than Kendall, no doubt about it... I think, drawing a sharp breath as my attention gets drawn back to the boys, Kendall earning a slight shove from Ryan who protests offendedly.

'Hey! Eyes on me, Romeo.'

'Like you weren't thinking the same.'

Kendall chuckles, knowing Ryan well enough to figure that one out. Ryan rolls his eyes back at him in return, a slight smirk on his face as he nods reluctantly.

'True, but that still doesn't mean I like seeing you goggle another man...'

'I've never seen the guy before! I should at least check him out to make sure he's worthy to be with our Little Lexi... How many times have you daydreamt about him when I wasn't present?'

Kendall asks playfully, loving it whenever Ryan gets envious and starts to act up.

'Oh, shut up. You argue like a married couple!'

Néomy chuckles over the loud music, sliding more shots around the table. Yeah, enough with the drama. Let's have some old-fashioned fun instead. We all grin clinging our glasses together before licking the salt from our hands, throwing back the shot, and biting down on a piece of lemon.

'Kendall, stop acting like a peacock in search of compliments. We all know you're drop-dead gorgeous, so you've got nothing to worry about. Ryan knows he won the lottery with you.'

I giggle, putting down my glass again while tapping my feet along with the rhythm of the song that's playing. Both of the boys beam with happiness as Ryan kisses him on the cheek. Agreeing with my words while Kendall smiles satisfied and says.

'Why thanks, sweetheart! You're not too bad yourself. Love the dress, by the way.'

I twirl on my stool, giving him a full look as I giggle.

'Right? I was on a mission to turn some heads. Or rather, one specific tattooed bearded man. Do you guys think I succeeded?'

'Oh, darling. You had him drooling all over you back there on the dancefloor! You looked adorable together...'

Ryan huffs a dreamy sigh, slouching back next to Kendall. Did he? I can't resist glancing back at Matt, still wondering if all of it is serious or not... He's still caught up chatting with Rebekah, although both of their faces tell me it's something serious and I can't wonder what it's about. I hope nothing's wrong... I sigh but the happy chatter in front of me pulls me back toward the table, away from Matt and my thoughts as Néomy fills the glasses once more. I look over at Kendall, giving him my best puppy eyes as I sulk.

'By the way, I've missed you! Why don't you ever stop by at the studio anymore?'

'If I only found the time!'

He groans although the smile hinting at his lips tells me there is a solid reason and I ask lightheartedly.

'Don't tell me! You've got another collection ready already?'

'Even better!'

He glows, Ryan also smiling proudly as Kendall explains that he'll be attending the fashion week in Paris this year to show off his new line of wedding dresses. I bounce up from my chair, giving him a big hug to congratulate him with his success. Néomy doing the same as we take another celebration shot before the boys excuse themselves, heading over to the dancefloor.

'How on earth does he keep up with him?'

Néomy mutters in astonishment as she watches them dance together, making me laugh in return.

'They fit perfectly together...'

Two different souls which complement each other. A kind of happiness that others can only dream of... I smile with awe. After watching them for a minute or two, we turn our attention back to our drinks. Happily chatting, dragging up old memories together now that I finally feel a bit more at ease. After a few minutes, I feel someone tap my shoulder. Hoping it'll be Matt, but sadly the motion is accompanied by Nick's irritating voice. Not now! I wave him off, not wanting to be bothered by his pesky ways only to get riled up again as I keep my attention on Néomy.

'Remember that time you fell in those rose bushes?'

She wheezes, almost doubling over in laughter as I snort back while smacking my arm behind me trying to get rid of this pain in the ass behind me.

'How could I forget! You just left me lying there, laughing your ass off while mine got stung with goddamn thorns!'

'It was just too damn funny! That kinda thing normally happens to Rebekah, not you!'

She weeps, sliding another shot my way. Why the hell not... I shrug, happy that I'm finally able to relax and enjoy myself a bit.

'My heel slipped on the frikkin' pavement!'

I protest, putting the empty glass back down as I bite down on the slice of lemon. I send another fist behind me, hoping it'll land this time as I growl without looking over my shoulder.

'Nick, piss off! I'm busy.'

I don't even listen to his complaints, grabbing the bottle next to Néomy preparing our next shot. A warm tingly feeling spreads through my chest as the alcohol starts to set in and I giggle.

'I should see if there's some kind of training to educate you on how best friends are supposed to help each other out. You could use it Nomes! Just remember, if you ever get your arse stuck in some prickly bushes ...I won't be there to help you.'

'Oh, you would've toppled over with laughter as well!'

She counters, wiping a stray tear away from her cheek as she tries to muffle her laughter. No question about it. I grin back at her, quickly glancing over my shoulder now that I finally can't feel that infuriating tap anymore. Seeing that Dane and Alex are behind Nick, trying to lure his attention away. I smile thankfully at both of them before grabbing my glass and clinging it against Néomy's. Two points for Lexi. Putting it down once the content has magically disappeared again, I gather the growing amount of lemon peels and put them on a plate to the side. W-Woah! I giggle, almost losing my footing as I settle back down. Glad to see my friend at least helps me out this time, she grabs my arm to make sure I won't fall as she chuckles.

'See, no need for a lesson in chivalry.'

Her words make me snicker as well. Easy, Lex... I think as I take a deep breath, glaring over to the bottle of tequila that's almost empty as I mutter.

'Your fault for getting me drunk!'

'Yeah, I think you've had enough for now.'

She crackles, downing my shot for me before letting go of my arm now that I've found my footing again. I nod back at her, agreeing I've had more than enough to drink not wishing to get entirely wasted tonight. I still have to tell Matt how I feel... I sigh, hoping that the liquid courage will help me out and steel my confidence. Speaking of which... I think, glancing around as I search for him. Oh, there you are charming... I giggle to myself until I notice he's still standing by the bar. A more sullen expression on his face as I watch Rebekah walk off, leaving him alone with Charlotte. Yay, more of her... A frustrated groan leaves my lips, compelling Néomy to follow my gaze.

'Just let her be Lex... She's just a pain in the ass, an ant that isn't even worth squashing.'

Néomy huffs, irritation written on her face. I give her half a nod knowing she's right, forcing myself to look away from them. That goddamn bitch will only infuriate me again. I cuss silently, picking up the bottle and emptying what's left in one go.

'S-Shit!'

Néomy growls, her eyes still focused on them both. W-What? The warning in her voice sends a shiver of fear down my spine and I hastily spin my head back around. Absentmindedly I jump off my chair, freezing midway. N-No way... I wince, feeling as if I just lost the ability to breathe properly when I see Charlotte's lips plastered against Matty's. Her arms wrapped around his neck as mine in turn droop next to my side while I watch speechless as my worst nightmare gets played out right in front of me. H-He and ...Ch-Charlotte? I gawk at them like a lifeless doll, the loud music thundering in my eardrums as my heart feels like it gets torn into a million pieces. W-Why doesn't he pull back?! I want to scream, but unable to get a sound out as my vocal cords twist in agony.

'Shit, Lex...'

Néomy whispers trying to pull my attention away, not that it would ever work. It hurts like hell to watch them both... If I didn't know any better I was sure you could hear my heart shattering. Every second of torture causes another crack to appear while I stand glued in place. Th-This can't be... I swallow hard, trying to find my voice again as Matt finally tears himself away from her. But I still can't seem to utter a word, completely overwhelmed with grief as his eyes flash over to me. H-How could you? His muscles visibly wince with surprise when he understands I just witnessed their little moment, tears already burning in my eyes as they start to cloud my vision. No! I swear, blinking them away when he throws me an apologetic look. I don't want to hear it!

The booze takes a toll on me as anger starts to take over, Charlotte's wicked sneer tipping me over the edge as I'm not able to subdue the monster inside of me any longer. All I want is for the pain to go away! I whinge, my knuckles turning white from clenching them so tightly. I want to scratch Charlotte's fucking eyes out, and let Matt feel the excruciating pain that embedded itself in my soul while watching the two of them together! I curse, my vision turning black with rage and anguish. Before I realize what I'm doing, I grab the first guy close to me. Harshly pulling on his jacket as I crush my lips against his.

N-Nick?! I question in a complete state of shock. Instantly regretting my decision as he wraps his arms around me and I feel Matt's eyes burning a hole in my back. Oh, no! What I thought impossible a couple of seconds before, I've proven wrong. Immediately I pull back, my eyes wide with horror. F-Fuck! What have I done?! I thought there was nothing that could make me feel more torn apart than seeing them kiss, but I was wrong. I just fucked up, big time!

'I knew you would reconsider...'

Nick hums happily, although my screaming thoughts overpower his voice while I try to take a step back. Nick holds me too tight for me to move and before I can recollect myself he firmly presses his lips back on top of mine for a second kiss. Terror creeps in my bones as he swiftly runs his tongue past my lip, hoping that I will open my mouth for him. Fuck no! I curse, violently shoving him away from me. Asshole! I glare up at him when my hand makes contact with the flesh of his cheekbone. The hard impact leaves a red stain behind as I roar, resentment oozing off me.

'That was for not letting me go and kissing me again, you goddamn son of a bitch! You knew exactly why I did what I did, there's nothing between us!'

I tear myself away from him, as well as from Néomy who's trying to stop me from doing something more stupid. Like I care anymore! I swear, shrugging her hand off my shoulder entirely. Goddammit. I know I royally fucked up kissing Nick, but that monstrosity is the cause of all this! I scowl already marching toward Charlotte, determined to wipe that satisfied grin off her face. Preferably with my fist! Too afraid to gaze in Matt's direction I'm already in front of her, making sure I get a firm grip on her hair while I boom with anger.

'Get the fuck out of my house!'

'Let go of me, you bitch!'

She squeals painfully. Her sharp nails clawing at my hand, trying to break free. Like hell you are! I grumble, out for blood. I yank her scalp even harder while screeching at the top of my lungs.

'I swear to God, one more move and I'll slaughter you on the spot!'

'Just remember, I was the one to kiss Matt. You on the other hand~'

Charlotte sneers back, trying to twist the knife that's already nestled in my gut. I'm fucking done with your schemes. You fucked up everything! I growl, cutting her words short as I start dragging her off by her hair. Her wretched yammering only makes me tug on it harder as I snarl, shoving her onto the ground.

'Words included, skank! Get your scrimpy ass out, now, before I change my fucking mind!'

I throw her one last dirty look, hoping it'll kill her before I hastily turn back around. My eyes search for Matt's, ignoring everyone else as I quickly force my way back to him. I... I'm so sorry! I plead, hoping he'll listen to me. But the broken look in his eyes almost makes me falter in my steps as I close in on him. Struggling to find my voice, not knowing what to say or how to make up for what I've just done I whisper.

'M-Matty~'

'Don't!'

His voice thunders over mine, making me cower down in pain as he looks away from me. No please, Matty! I beg silently, struggling for air as I shakily lift my hand up to him. Too afraid to take another step as Ruby and Shelby try to reason with Matt, defending my actions. Nothing can though... I never should've let her provoke me like that, I cringe turning my gaze down to the floor. I'm so stupid! She played me and I reacted precisely the way she wanted me to... I hug myself, watching little salty droplets of sorrow fall down onto the floor. Counting them one by one, I hear Matt's voice bark over the girls.

'I'm not doing this with the lot of you, screw this, I'm out!'

His low voice is filled with agony, nearly making me topple over with misery while he storms off leaving all of us, me, behind. M-Matty... As soon as he's out of sight I collapse down unto the ground with no strength left in me. Sorrow and heartache taking control, I feel as if I've just ripped my own heart out of my chest. I bury my face into my shaking hands, sobbing uncontrollably as Rebekah and Néomy bend over hugging me close.

'Wh-What have I d-done?!'

I howl, curling up into a little ball with tears streaming down my face. Feeling dizzy, I struggle to draw for breath.

'Shhh...'

They both try to comfort me as I scream in pain, the music around us gone quiet as Alex shows everyone out. N-No Matt... I continue to cry uncontrollably. The empty feeling in my chest so painful that I'm afraid I might pass out.

'I... I g-g-gotta t-talk to h-him!'

I blubber, trying to get back on my feet. I g-gotta explain! I weep, collapsing back onto the ground both from lack of strength and the remaining alcohol that's left in my system as Rebekah whispers.

'Maybe you should wait until tomorrow, Lex...'

But I can't! I lament, looking up at her through my blurry vision while another strangled cry leaves my throat. H-He'll never forgive me! Her eyes filled with compassion she shakes her head, ushering Néomy to help me up as she murmurs.

'Let's bring you to your room, you both need to cool off...'

I shake my head, begging both of them to just bring me to him so I can talk to him. All I want to do is beg and plead him for mercy. Have him hold me until this shattering pain goes away! I weep, kicking and screaming. But they don't listen to my animalistic pleas, forcing me up to my room instead. Goddammit, no! I swear. Eventually, Rebekah leaves me alone with Néomy after they've put me down on the bed and she starts to pull off my heels and dress while she groans.

'Come on, Lex! Work with me a little...'

'No! I n-need to talk to Matt!'

I yell, my eyes red and puffy from all the crying as I scramble back up to my feet.

'You both need some sleep ...talk to him in the morning.'

She tries to convince me, but I don't want to hear it as I push her hands away from me and cry.

'No!'

She grunts frustratedly, smacking my hands aside and taking off my dress as she grumbles while trying to keep her own emotions in check.

'Lex, you're drunk. That's my fault, I know. But going to him right now isn't going to fix anything.'

I shake my head, sniveling as I wobbly get back on my feet. Spitting at her while I yank my pajama shirt away from her.

'D-Don't tell me what to do!'

The mixture of frustration and agony takes a toll on me as I pull the fabric over my head and sob.

'I g-gotta fix it, Nomes! Pl-Please don't keep me here. I have to t-talk to him!'

I rub my face against my shirt. Trying to dry my wet face, although new streaks of salty water instantly replace the old ones and I croak out.

'I m-m-messed up!'

Néomy sighs heavily, rubbing her hand over my arm, still trying to coax me into staying as she murmurs softly.

'Lex, I'm your best friend. You know I won't stop you, I just want what's best for you...'

'H-He is what's b-best for me!'

I yelp, trying to make her understand that I've never felt so miserable in my entire life. I just want him! I think, pushing her aside with the little strength I've got left in me. I walk out with trembling legs while whimpering painfully.

'Please Nomes, l-let me go! I need to t-talk to him!'

Ignoring my massive headache, I struggle through the hallway heading towards Matt's room. Not even bothered to knock, knowing he won't let me in if I ask as I push the door open and walk inside.

'Leave me alone, Lex...'

He says his voice barely a whisper as I see him sitting by the window. You've been drinking... I wail, shakily closing the door behind me as I see him take a large swig of what seems to be his third bottle of whiskey.

'I~ W-We need to talk.'

I snivel, leaning back against the wall and fighting another wave of tears. Praying that I can somehow make him understand my turmoil as he huffs motionless.

'There's nothing to talk about.'

I shake my head, for once not willing to back down as tears stream down my face and I croak out.

'Then listen!'

He doesn't say anything, he doesn't even look at me, as I try to gather myself. Forcing the words out between my struggled breathing.

'Please, please let me explain! Charlotte has been manipulating me for the e-entire evening! First, she talked to me back in the hallway when she came in. Saying that I should make up my mind before she would do it for me... Th-Then Nick tried to piss me off, even more, a-and... You and that dance, I didn't know what to think! When I went outside afterward Charlotte followed again, s-saying all kinds of things to screw with my head! Néomy dragged me back inside and ushered me to drink so I would wind down... B-But th-then...'

I choke out, probably not making any sense. My voice falters just thinking about the two of them. Glad that the wall is still behind me to keep me from falling, I scream with agony.

'N-Next thing I know Charlotte's fucking lips were nibbling yours!'

I can see Matt cringe in place, still keeping his eyes focused on the garden when I speak about that kiss. But I keep spitting my words at him, knowing that if I don't get it all out of my system now ...I never will.

'I lost it, okay?!'

I draw a shaky breath, before continuing.

'It fucking hurt like hell seeing you with her! I know I made a stupid mistake and I've seriously fucked up ...I'm so so sorry, Matty!'

I cry out, clenching my heart over my shirt as it twists in pain again when I see Matt's reflection in the glass. With quivering legs, I walk up to him as I continue to plead.

'You know I would never do something like that! But that bitch really did a number on me tonight and ...I couldn't control myself anymore.'

'Just leave Charlotte aside for now...'

Matt sighs, looking over at me for the first time. His own eyes damp as well. But instead of showing remorse, his words make me hiss in frustration.

'Seriously?! You're defending her right now?!'

'Like hell I am! She fucked everything up, I know that! And if you wouldn't have sent her away, I would've dragged the whore out myself!'

Matt's voice sounds completely taken over by darkness as he swirls around. A dangerous fury burning in his eyes, that until this very moment I thought didn't exist inside of him. Baby, please... I cry as I watch every muscle in his body tremble with rage, looking as if he's about to punch a hole in the wall when he walks up to me. Ready to rip someone's throat out, capable of anything as long as it would restrain his wrath. I trip backward, for the first time in my life truly afraid of him. Walking away from him until my back clashes against the wall behind me. The impact makes me gasp as Matt grabs my wrists. Holding me captive as he towers over me his eyes shaking when he looks down at me, leaving me unable to move as he hisses.

'You bloody kissed him, Lexi!'

The coldness in his voice makes me shudder as it breaks my heart even more. I know! I didn't mean to! When I try to avert my gaze he lets go of my wrists, slamming my upper arms back against the wall. Forcing me to look back up at him as he roars.

'Charlotte might've put her filthy lips on me, but you kissed him! Out of all the people you could choose from, you decided to kiss Nick! The guy I loath the most!'

He growls, tightening his firm grip around my arms.

'M-Matt, you're hurting me...'

I whimper, but he doesn't budge. Making a new set of tears rush down my cheeks as I blurt out between a shaky breath.

'D-Did you kiss her though? I don't m-mean now, I mean back at the c-costume party on my eighteenth b-birthday...'

The second the words leave my lips, I instantly regret asking. The look on his face already answering for him as he whispers stunned.

'Is that what she told you out back?'

I nod through my tears, almost glad Matt's grip is there to hold me upright as I mutter defeatedly.

'It's true, isn't it?!'

He twists his head, seeing the devastation in my eyes as he murmurs.

'It happened one time. It meant nothing!'

'Then why do it at all?!'

I yell helplessly, trying to tear myself away from him. You never loved me at all! I swear at him with my eyes, not having the guts to say it out loud. I... I can't believe she was telling the truth... Not able to break free from him because he's far stronger than me, especially since the turmoil inside of him is not anywhere close to being subdued, he swears loudly.

'Fucking hell, Lexi! That was ages ago! There's nothing going on between me and that bitch!'

I chew the inside of my cheek. Forcing myself to keep quiet as he shouts, agony laced in his voice.

'Do you have any idea what it did to me? Seeing you smash your lips against that dickhead?!'

'Probably the same thing it did to me when I saw you kissing Charlotte...'

I scoff, closing my eyes. Hoping it'll prevent more tears from spilling as I take a deep breath before looking back up at him. The stormy anger still very much alive in his eyes as they tremble looking down at me, causing me to swallow. I've never seen this darkness inside of you before. I wail, noticing the intense hurt laced through it as well. Suffering that I've caused with my actions...

'Matty, please! It kills me to see you like this! You know I never meant for any of this to happen...'

I sob, wanting nothing more than to reach out to him and wrap my arms around his broad frame. This should've been our night! But his strong hands still prevent me from doing so as his fingers keep digging harder into my skin. I was supposed to tell you how madly I'm in love with you, and then you were supposed to swap me off my feet! I snivel, his muscles shaking violently. Almost making me recoil from the pain as he growls consumed with envy and hatred.

'I never want to see you kiss another guy, ever again!'

Instead of having our fairytale ending, it turned into our worst nightmare... I tear up, fear clenching my vocal cords shut when he's not able to restrain his temper any longer. Launching one of his fists against the wall. His mental state and the alcohol still soaring through his body prevents him from stopping himself. His sense of direction fucked up as well when his aim is slightly off. Partially slamming his fist against my shoulder, making me wince and cry out in pain. He immediately stumbles back, abruptly shaken out of his maddened rage as horror fills his eyes when I grab my arm and stammer.

'Y-You... H-Hit me...'

It's a statement as much as a question. Utterly dumbfounded that he actually struck me, I stare at him with dull eyes. Matt runs a hand through his hair. The shock instantly sobering him up as he whispers in a broken voice, trying to reach out to me.

'L-Lex...'

'No!'

I scream, hugging myself as another wave of distress washes over me leaving me feeling extremely vulnerable. I clench my arms tightly around my chest, trying to get rid of the ache in my heart.

'Y-You promised you'd never hurt me again...'

I whisper, my voice trembling. Even if I know deep down in my heart he didn't mean to hurt me just now, I turn my eyes down and start to cry again.

'L-Leave me alone!'

I beg him as he tries to reach out for me once more, desperation and guilt written on his face. Tears roll down his cheeks when I unwillingly shrink as soon as he tries to lay a finger on me. It's not fear of him hurting me again that's causing my reaction, but dread that things will only spin further out of control. I think, afraid that the horrendous ache inside of me might actually be my undoing. I can take no more... My suffering already leaves me struggling for air as my body starts to shake violently from exhaustion, eventually, making me collapse to the ground. Every limb and muscle in my body is heavy with fatigue, too worn out to move as I feel a darkness starting to spread.

'I'm so sorry, beautiful!'

Matt's fragile voice cries as if he's somewhere far away. I want to stay awake and listen to him some more, as even now, his voice calling my nickname sounds soothing whenever I'm in distress. But my eyelids feel as if they're made out of concrete and I find it too difficult to open them back up when I feel Matt scoop me up in his arms. Pulling me strongly against his chest as he continues to mumble in a cracked voice.

'My gorgeous Bonnie... God, I'm so sorry!'

Matty... I want so badly to stay cautious and call out to him, but my body no longer cooperates with me as it starts to give out. Bonnie? Is the last thought running through my mind before the darkness completely takes me over...

***

'Urgh... W-What happened last night~'

I grouch, forcing my heavy eyelids open. W-Why am I in Matt's bed? My sudden movement makes me wince as an immense pain shoots through my shoulder. Fuck! That hurts! I grit my teeth, still a little dazed from my slumber and a massive hangover pounding between my ears. Making it feel as if a million needles get forced into my brain, while every muscle in my body seems to be tied down by heavyweights.

My eyes shoot over to the sore spot trying to find the source of my pain. That's when I notice the skin on my shoulder has turned into dark purples and blues. Oh my God... I cringe glancing over my upper arm, spotting another bruise. As soon as I see it clearly everything from last night comes rushing back to me. N-No... I tremble, anxiously looking over to my other arm. Confirming my worst fears when I see two bruised handprints from Matt's firm grip, lacing over my skin like a tattoo. This harsh truth leaves me with no option then come to terms with the fact that last night really happened. M-Matty... I wail, covering my own hand over one of his imprints which makes me shudder slightly.

'I~ I blacked out ...a-after he~'

I clench my eyes shut as the painful memories of last night swirl back and forth through my head. I look around me in search of Matt when I see him slouched into the window seat, where he must've dozed off somewhere during the night. I need to get out of here... I breathe, not wanting to start this morning the same way we ended up last night. I hoist myself up, ignoring my aching muscles as I tiptoe towards the door.

'L-Lex, wait...'

Matt suddenly whispers from behind me, making me stop in my tracks as he rubs his eyes barely woken up. Shit. Reluctantly I turn around. With my hands I try to cover most of the bruises while I tell him, my voice small.

'I should go...'

He draws his brows together, a concerned and pained look on his face as he closes the gap between us with just a few large strides. His eyes tremble with regret as he glances over my tainted skin.

'Go where?'

He whispers with a sullen expression on his face as he doesn't dare to move any closer to me.

'Anywhere but here? Away from your bed, your living room, the house, just ...here!'

I mumble not able to hold his gaze. It's just too agonizingly painful! I cry silently as I continue with a low voice.

'I think I'm going to stay somewhere else for a little while...'

Matt shakes his head, his hands itching to pull me close to him as he pleads.

'Don't. If you want somebody to leave, I'll go. This is your house.'

'NO! I'm leaving and that's the end of it!'

I shout a little harder than I intended to. But the idea of you walking away, once again, is just too much to bear.

'Lex, I can't tell you how sorry I am about~'

He apologizes as the words get stuck in his throat, his eyes glossing over with grief when he glances over my body.

'Don't! You were wasted and pissed off, I know you didn't mean to... They are just some bruises, it's not a big deal. I'm fine!'

I mutter, trying to dismiss his worries. Again reaching for the door so I can leave, but Matt stops me once again. Gently grabbing my hand as he falls to his knees in front of me and yelps helplessly.

'Look at you! I have eyes, Lexi! I can see what I've done. You're clearly not fine!'

'What do you want me to say?!'

I yell devastated, looking down at his red and puffy face. I know you hate yourself for what you have done and that you've been crying last night after I passed out. Which makes me feel even worse than I already do. I was the one to come to you and make things even worse... I was the one to kiss Nick and made you go berserk... This is all my damn fault! I grind my teeth as my face twists with agony as I cry.

'Do you want me to say that I hate you now?!'

His eyes tremble when he hears my words, his grip on my hand starting to waver as he's not sure if he should let go of me or not. I bloody love you, idiot! I can't help but shake my head. My mind is all over the place, not knowing how to make him understand what I'm feeling right now I continue with a hoarse voice.

'I wish I could! I wish I could hate you right now because it would be so much easier that way, but I don't!'

I draw a shaky breath, wiping a few tears away from under his eyes. He flinches slightly as if my touch burns him. Like he has convinced himself that he hasn't earned the right to be caressed with my fingers. The torn look in his green emerald eyes kills me from the inside out as I tell him truthfully, stepping away from him.

'I... I can't stay, Matt... This time I'm the one to walk out.'

'Lexi?!'

He yelps confusedly, scrambling up to his feet as I'm already holding the handle ready to leave. No, please... My heart can't take any more of this. I whimper, not willing to yield as I whisper barely audible.

'Please, don't try and stop me... I'm not going to stand by and watch you leave again, I just can't!'

'I won't if you'd just talk to me!'

He pleads, trying to stop me from going by grabbing my wrist again. You left me once. The possibility of that happening again? I shake my head, biting back more tears. I can't even think about it! With a heavy heart, I turn back around to face him as I plead with him to understand.

'Matty, please... Can't you see that we're destroying each other like this? I... I can't do it anymore... I'm done. I need to get away from all of this, from you!'

'If that's what you truly want, fine, leave.'

He bites out in a bitter tone, turning his back on me. We're just slowly killing one another dragging this out. I draw a shaky breath, seeing his shoulders droop with disappointment and sorrow. I'm sorry... I sob, looking away from him as I force my feet to move out of the door. Quickly closing it behind me before dashing back to my room.

I want nothing more than crumble into pieces down onto the floor, but I ignore the pleas coming from my aching body as I put on a pair of sweats. Hastily stuffing some of my stuff into a bag before leaving the house. I huff a small sigh of relief as I get into the car, glad that all the others were still asleep so I didn't have to explain myself. Not that I'd even know what to say to them... I groan, putting on the seatbelt with trembling fingers.

Tears stream down my face when I pull out of the driveway and see Matt's reflection in my rearview mirror as he watches me leave from his window sill. My radio playing mean wicked tricks on my mind when a song from Eminem and Rihanna starts echoing through the speakers.

Now I know we said things, did things, that we didn't mean ...and we fall back into the same patterns, same routine. But your temper's just as bad as mine is, you're the same as me! When it comes to love, you're just as blinded~ Their words resonate through my head as I find myself unable to shut it off. Baby, please come back! It wasn't you, Baby it was me! Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems... Maybe that's what happens When a tornado meets a volcano? All I know is I love you too much, to walk away now~

Every fiber in my bones pleading, screaming, at me to turn the car around so I can dive back into his strong arms and stay there until the wrenching pain in my heart subdues. But I don't listen. It's better this way... I cry hopelessly, trying to convince myself this hurts less as I drive away from the man I love more than anything. Only out of fear that he'll be the one to leave me if I don't...

***

A/N:

!!! Important !!!

I have NO rights to ANY of the songs/videos I use in my book!!!
Even though I may mention Lexi is singing/recording these songs as hers,
ALL credits go to the original artists (or/and cover artists) and their producers!!!

I just find these songs fitting with the storyline and it took a lot of time researching for them. I just hope you all appreciate the selection I made and further all the credits go out to them for making it sound amazing! Again, I only own the rights of the book I write itself.

Original song titles used in #Twenty-seven:

Dream. By: Bishop Briggs.
Love the way you lie. By: Eminem & Rihanna.

All credits go to them and their producers, I do not own these songs, nor videos!!!

Also! I do NOT agree with abuse in any shape or form, this book is fiction.
If you struggle with some of these subjects I strongly recommend seeking help.
No one deserves this to happen to them in real life!

Dear #Ghosts:

I'm sorry to leave you hanging after these two heartwrenching chapters!
I'll try and update as soon as possible, please don't hate me right now but this needed to happen. This is one of the scenes I've been preparing ever since I've started writing this book, so I really tried to pour my heart and soul into writing them. There is still some more heartbreak to come, but don't lose all faith just yet!

xoxo Dominique Moust.

***