My hands are shaking wildly, as I'm trying to close my diary... When I finally manage to do so, I clamp my fingers around the cover. My eyes staring into oblivion, while my mind is running in overdrive, trying to process everything I've just read. I must have been really drunk... I don't remember squad! My vision getting more blurry with each passing second. I.. I know I was in love with him, b-but can you even love someone that much? A wave of memories comes floating back to me and my mind is replaying those two nights like an old movie from the 60s. A few seconds later, I snap out of my thoughts. I lift my still shaky hand and bring it to my cheek, feeling the cold breeze against the liquid that has escaped my eyes. I softly wipe away the tears, not caring about my make-up getting all messed up.

'I, I remember it all...'

I manage to get out with a croaked voice... Damn that almost, hurt. It felt like my heart got stabbed all over again in the exact same spot. I think as I unconsciously put my hand over my heart as if to console it that way. I can't believe I drank myself to a black-out that night... I seriously didn't remember a thing! At least...This is so fucking weird! Before tonight I remembered the party and all but... How, how could I forget? I also knew Matt left the day after. But how could I not remember that Matt gave me that necklace and danced with me? I rub my temple with one of my hands trying to reduce my aching headache from getting worse after receiving all this information at once. I mean, Matt's never been that nice, so it can't be forgotten easily... My mind keeps putting the last pieces together, although my conscience is having problems accepting the reality of what happened. Well, I've clearly proven that theory wrong! Since I now remember pouring a shit load of alcohol in my system, it did work for suppressing my heartbreaking memories. Knowing perfectly well my body can't handle alcohol, though it must've taken a lot to make me forget something like that! It could've been my death, I warn myself to never let something like that happen, ever, again. B-But wait an m-minute...

'The necklace!'

I almost jump up, My fingertips fiddling on the seam of the diary. As I remember something else.
I read that hid some kind of note in the seam of the diary, together with the necklace...

'There should be an opening right here-'

I mutter as my fingers fidget around with the seem until it comes loose.

'O my God, it's still in there.'

My fingers pull out a tiny envelope and I quickly open it. My eyes immediately spot the silver inside and before I'm realizing it, my fingers picked up the necklace.

I clamp my fingers around it and look into the envelope again. I grip the ends of a piece of scrap paper, rushing to get it open as quickly as possible my eyes already scanning all of the words. I.. I wrote a ...song. My eyes dart over the words I scribbled down that night. I- I need to do something with this. I immediately scramble to my feet, rushing my way downstairs to Bhek's and Ty. My sister is so going to kill me for not telling her this sooner. But how could I tell her something I didn't fully remember myself before tonight... Right?

'I'm so fucked!'

I grumble underneath my breath as I open the door of the living room, rushing to get in. The sooner I get this over with, the better.

***

Promise~ A whisper tries to comfort me as an engine rumbles in the darkness somewhere far away. Fear creeping up my spine as the noise keeps getting harder, this can't be... The haunting sound of iron clashing against iron, screeching tires, and breaking glass embedded in my brain. My body shivers in terror. The smell of burned rubber and iron lingering around me like a blanket I can't get rid of. Feeling as if I can't breathe, while I urge my feet to keep moving as fast as they can carry me. Matty! I want to scream in my dismay, but my vocal cords are twisted and burning unable to make a sound. Don't die... Salty tears trickle down my cheeks, my feet numb as I hastily climb over the railing. You can't die! I freeze, my eyes frantically taking up the destruction beneath me, where is he?!

Not even remembering how I managed to get down the steep hill in the first place, I inhale and exhale in rapid movements my lungs ablaze. Every fiber in my body screaming at me feeling hot, on fire, same as the totaled car in front of me. He's not here! I panic, scrambling around the vehicle trying to find him.

All the blood drains from my face when I see a shadow lying on the ground a few feet away. God no... My body instantly collapses to the ground, my feet giving up on me. D-Don't you dare! I sputter frantically as I crawl up to the lifeless frame in front of me, breathing hoarsely as I reach out with shaky hands. My heart pounding hysterically against my ribcage feeling as if it just got torn to pieces. ...Don't you dare leave me alone! I plead silently, my fingers trembling out of control. You promised! I cry bending over his still body to see if he's still breathing. I won't survive, I wail feeling the cold touch of his skin against mine.

A mixture of relief and anxiety wash over me once I notice he's still breathing. He's alive, barely, but he's breathing! I bend closer, sobbing loudly as I make sure not to move him endangering his life, even more, carefully grasping a part of his torn jacket. Salty droplets fall on his once-perfect face, clearing away specks of blood as I beg him to hold onto the sliver of life still pulsing through his veins. Please!

Somewhere along the way, I must've screamed, because the darkness around us gets drawn out by the red and white lights flashing somewhere behind me in the distance. Help is coming! I weep clutching onto one of his hands for dear life, burying my face in his hair. You can't give up, I beg him in a croaky voice, not now! Feeling his life slowly slipping away, making every passing second seem like it lasts for eternity.

'N-No~'

I whimper miserably with a shaky breath, you fucking promised! I curse infuriated with myself for feeling so powerless, my fingers stiff and unable to move. Afraid that if I loosen my grip, if only a little, it'll be over.

My eyes jolt open, my vision blurred when I feel a twitch in my hand. Thank god! I plead as his grip tightens slightly around mine, a groan escaping from his cracked lips and I start crying all over again. I'm here ...you're going to make it! I rasp in between hiccups trying to control my sobbing as I cling to his hand even harder. Don't ever do that to me again! I whisper bleakly, my voice faltering when a warm and familiar darkness spreads over me.

'It's okay...'

Matty. My muscles relax at once, my body humming in response to the deep rumble finally feeling safe as I let myself get swept away into nothingness.

***

A/N:

Hello, dear #Ghosts.
These were two previews coming from different chapters within the book. Hopefully, they made you interested enough to keep on reading the entire thing! Have fun and you're always welcome to comment what you think, love you all!

!!! Important !!!

I have NO rights to ANY of the songs/videos I use in my book!!!
Even though I may mention Lexi is singing/recording these songs as hers,
ALL credits go to the original artists (or/and cover artists) and their producers!!!

I just find these songs fitting with the storyline and it took a lot of time researching for them. I just hope you all appreciate the selection I made and further all the credits go out to them for making it sound amazing! Again, I only own the rights of the book I write itself.

I will also name all the original song titles and artists/cover artists by the end of each chapter.

!!! Also !!!

Everything written in this book is pure fiction!It includes trauma, physical and mental abuse (to a certain amount), and explicit sexual content.
In real life, I do NOT agree with abuse in any shape, way, or form!
If you struggle with some of these subjects, this book might not be for you!

Enjoy!! xoxo Dominique Moust.

***