***

A/N:

!!! Important !!!

I have NO rights to ANY of the songs/videos I use in my book!!!
Even though I may mention Lexi is singing/recording these songs as hers,
ALL credits go to the original artists (or/and cover artists) and their producers!!!

I just find these songs fitting with the storyline and it took a lot of time researching for them. I just hope you all appreciate the selection I made and further all the credits go out to them for making it sound amazing! Again, I only own the rights to the book I write itself.

I will also name all the original song titles and artists/cover artists by the end of each chapter.

Enjoy!! xoxo Dominique Moust.

***

As I flop down in my bed and hug my pillow close to me, I think back to everything that happened today. This afternoon I left the house still pissed off at Matt. The way he looked at my necklace, while we were in the bathroom together after I told him there wasn't another side to him struck a nerve. It didn't matter, he didn't understand. Just the fact that he thought he was being different while he broke my heart the very next day was enough to set me off. When Ian came to pick me up I really hit a new low, surprising even myself, by jumping into Ian's hands just to prove a point to Matt. It had nothing to do with my love for Ian, the way I clung to him and kissed him. My anger and resentment were fueling my actions. I wanted to make Matt jealous and provoke him, nothing more... It seemed to work, as he left in a hurry his demeanor cold-blooded not even bothered looking my way again. I wanted to hurt him as he hurt me... Ian didn't seem to notice. He probably thought I acted like that because I told him I loved him earlier today.

Even when I was on my date with Ian I couldn't help but think about our little run into each other in the bathroom. When I saw him standing there my feet were nailed to the ground. He's still the most gorgeous man I've ever met. I cuss silently. No matter how badly I want to deny it, Ian doesn't even compare to him... As he turned around my heart was beating so hard I was afraid he'd hear it. I could feel my cheeks were on fire when he mentioned he was naked only a few seconds prior. I did everything in my power not to imagine it because of Ian, though I still crashed and burned. He clearly enjoyed me squirming in front of him stepping closer to me, I could feel his body temperature and my willpower was failing miserably as I let my eyes drift over his skin exploring his body. 

Fuck! I couldn't remember the last time I saw him without a shirt and my eyes just wanted to feast on his body. I simply just couldn't resist... I wanted to see every inch, every curve of his muscles as my eyes followed every line of his delicious tattooed body. And boy, he didn't disappoint... I grunt exasperated diving with my head underneath my pillow remembering the tingling feeling in my stomach as I saw the silver glimmer of his nipple piercing. Lexi, don't! You should be fantasizing about Ian, your boyfriend. Not Matty! I swear to myself feeling my cheeks getting hotter again. When I was doing my hair and makeup ...and Matt finally pulled a shirt over his head, thank god! My mind was still elsewhere, somehow I managed to work up the nerve to ask the question that's been burning in my mind from the second he got back. If he's back home forever... I couldn't resist, I just had to know! His eyes shook startled and the seconds that passed by without him answering felt like hours. Even if I'm with Ian now, my heart died a bit with every second that passed by in silence at the thought of him walking away again. When he said he hoped to stay, I didn't know what to make of it and turned back to the mirror. Matt being Matt, he turned back into the arse he normally is, ruining every normal little moment we have... Even though I never said it out loud, I couldn't bear the thought of him leaving all over again.

Luckily Ian didn't notice my turmoil as we went to grab a bite to eat and went to the movies. I was glad he didn't go into detail about the film we watched, though. Because I barely remember what it was even about, my mind and thoughts all over the place! Why did his body have to be goddamn perfect?! I swear to myself clinging to my pillow and biting my lip. After the movie I just wanted to go home and dive straight into bed, trying to forget this day ever happened. But even that didn't go according to plan and faith decided otherwise.

I couldn't tell Ian I loved him back when we were at the door. It just felt wrong, since I'd been distracted the entire evening and I gave him a kiss on the cheek. I didn't even see Matt until Ian pointed it out by saying goodbye to him before turning around and I could instantly feel all my muscles on edge as I closed the door. Little did I know I was going to smoke a bloody joint with him a few moments later... I snort to myself however it gets muffled out by my cushion. Honestly, all I wanted to do was relax! I was already on edge because of everything that happened today and he was riling me up even further by asking about how my date was, while all I wanted was to forget about it. I sit back up in bed grabbing my box of cigarettes, and lighting one as I think back to our conversations in the kitchen. Rebekah wouldn't have believed her eyes if she'd seen us sprawled on the floor, dying from laughter... I smile to myself, that was the Matty I was once in love with... Immediately I start shaking my head blowing out some smoke, no! Muttering softly, trying to convince myself.

'Nah-ah! ...You've got a boyfriend. A sweet and lovely boyfriend, instead of that ass!'

A boyfriend who wears way too tight jeans, but loves you all the same... I can't help but chuckle softly thinking back to Matt's remark on his clothes. Nonetheless ...he's right, dammit! It killed me to admit that, to Matt in particular. But at the same time how could I deny it after laughing my heart out with tears streaming down my face? I think still giggling softly as I grab a spare ashtray from underneath my bed. I had a good time reminiscing about the past, but somehow it stung a little bit too... I think to myself as I lean back against the headboard smoke slowly drifting out of the corner of my mouth. The way he acts drives me nuts, arguing with me one day and being sweet to me the next. Better yet, he managed to accomplish both in a few hours' time... I grumble to myself as I push out my cigarette.

'I really should get some sleep...'

I tell myself hiding the ashtray before diving back underneath my sheets. I've got a long day ahead of me tomorrow...

***

As I'm rushing down the stairs the next morning to go to the studio I hear Rebekah's voice thundering out of the kitchen.

'You pig! What am I supposed to eat for breakfast now?!'

Called it! I think as I cringe slightly passing the hallway trying to suppress my laughter, grabbing my jacket and cap as I hear Matt groaning.

'It was the only decent thing around here!'

'That's why I get it in the first place! Now help me out for fucking hell, I want a smoothie and this blender is jammed!'

'...Bhek's you should really close the lid fir~'

Matt's voice dies out as the rumbling of the machine cracks up, quickly followed by Rebekah screaming as Matt curses loudly.

'Goddammit, Rebekah! Shut that bloody thing down!'

I can't help myself and quickly dart to the kitchen door, holding a hand for my mouth to stifle my giggling. Just as I carefully peek around the corner Matt pulls the plug of the mixer out of the outlet, shutting the machine off. Jesus, it looks like a warzone! I think as I can't hold back any longer and start laughing hysterically by the doorframe, making both of them turn to me. They're both covered in a pink mess of berries and yogurt. I clutch my stomach seeing the infuriating look on Matt's face and I choke out as I'm gasping for air trying to stop laughing.

'Pink, geh-eh! ...really s-suits you, whahah! M-Matty! Whahaha!'

He scowls back at me, though I still see a little grin tugging on the corner of his lips. Rebekah looks over at him lifting her shoulders, sweating bullets and I can't help but snort.

'Bhek's you really have a gift for these things... Have fun cleaning this mess up, I'm off to work!'

She nods reluctantly and as she tries to turn away she suddenly halts, remembering something turning back to me as she motions to me with her hand. Shit. I jump out of the way as some splatters of smoothie come flying in my direction and she chuckles as she says.

'Oh, sorry about that. Hey, uhm, how about we grab a bite to eat when you're done? Just the two of us, girl's night?'

'Hey, what about me?!'

Matt yelps turning to Rebekah and pointing to himself covered in the sticky pink yogurt. Rebekah waves him off as she growls making me crack up all over again.

'That's what you get from eating my food... I'd suggest you'll be getting some groceries then?'

'What about Lexi?! Last night she'd~'

'Okay, that's my cue! Bhek's, girl's night is on! I'm done around six, are you coming to the studio?'

Rebekah nods slowly, looking between me and Matt wondering what's going on as he tries to stop me from leaving shaking his head as he mutters with an ominous smile on his face.

'Oh, hell no! I'm taking you down with me, beautiful.'

I quickly wave them off dashing out of the house before I can be held up again and before Matt breaks the news to Rebekah about yesterday. She's going to bombard me with questions tonight! I cuss as I rush to my work.

***

'No, Delphine! Just no, this isn't going to happen.'

I mutter angrily crossing my arms at her. We've been at each other's throats for the past twenty minutes, a whole crew of people watching us anxiously from the side not knowing what to do.

'We need to record a full album and in the meantime, we also need to make a couple of music videos. What do you suggest we do then? We're kind of on a time crunch here darling!'

'I told you I wanted to keep this album simple! I'm not your damn puppet! There's a whole set with people here, who came to do God knows what?! I'll give you the satisfaction of making two videos where you can pull out all the stops, other than that, we're taking it down a notch ...of twenty-eight!'

She shakes her fists throwing a fit like a five-year-old, Ryan holds his hand in front of his mouth scared he'll make a noise as she curses back at me.

'Darling, I don't know what's up with you since we started this album. But you're being difficult every goddamn step of the way!'

'I am difficult? That's rich coming from you! I told you when we started this it was going to be different since this is so close to me.'

'Fine! Then what about all the other videos? How do you wanna do it?'

She huffs, throwing her arms in the air in defeat. I tap my finger on my lip wondering what to do, I can't focus with all those bloody people breathing down my neck. I swear to myself as I mumble to Delphine and the others.

'Sorry guys, but I want everyone out for one. When we record the other two videos, to your liking. In a few days, you can call all of them back. It's too damn crowded and it's ruining my vibe. Just leave two people, one cameraman and one for clothing and makeup, other than that I want everyone gone!'

She huffs a sigh while ushering the crowd around us to do as I please, thank fuck... I groan as they hastily scramble about leaving the office. I look around the now nearly empty room and see there are at least three racks of clothing and accessories standing in the corner. That's it.

'Is the floor downstairs still for rent?'

'Yeah, that broken-down office is still empty. Why?'

I nod to Delphine before turning to Ryan and I ask.

'If we'd record ordinary videos in there with me sitting on a chair, or a box, or whatever... Could you manage to record it at the same time? That way we'd be able to kill two birds with one stone.'

'If there's not much in the room the acoustics would be great. If I take the right equipment, we might be able to pull it off...'

Ryan nods, his mind already gathering everything that he would need. Delphine still looks a bit unconvinced and I tell her, pointing to the racks of clothing.

'I can change looks in between the songs. It would be a huge time saver and I think it would be more fitting with the songs anyway.'

Reluctantly she nods her head, admitting I'm right before turning to Ryan and the two people from the wardrobe as she starts to yell orders.

'Ryan, I'll talk to the building manager, you get your stuff down there asap. Put her in a closed-off room. Or by the windows, I don't care! Cameraman, you will follow suit to set up your things as well, just try and be quick about it so we can start as soon as possible. Miss, you better make her stand out against that blanc background!'

Everyone nods and scurries off to do their job as I walk over to the clothing racks. These are cute, I'd wear these in my spare time... My eyes immediately fall on a pair of torn jeans and a cut black Star Wars sweater. This'll due. I think as I grab them off the rack, the woman who's supposed to style me wants to object and I lift my hand as I murmur so no one will overhear.

'The Dragon lady is gone, at least let me choose a part of my own clothing?'

She nods giggling softly and just as I want to get ready Ryan comes flying out of his room, carrying a bunch of stuff for the recordings and I murmur.

'Thanks for backing me up, Ryan.'

'No problem sweetie, it's a good plan. Which one do you want to do first? Then I know what kinda vibe we're working with...'

'Best mistake, I'll be wearing this...'

I tell him as I hold out my clothes in front of me. This screams me and I don't want any of the fake drama in these songs... He nods understanding the plan I'm going for and mutters to me before turning around as he shouts.

'Perfect... Dimples! You need to get that black chair in the recording room as well! We're going to need that.'

"Dimples" seems to be the cameraman since he comes out of the room only seconds after, holding the chair under his arm amongst a few other things and he mocks walking past us.

'Yeah, yeah... I got it. Now let's move before I drop something!'

'Alright, I'm coming... No need to get your claws out.'

He winks at me as I shake my head. A flirt as always... Just before he leaves following after Dimples, he turns to me and whispers.

'...Honey, meet me at the deck in ten. You've gotta fill me in on all the latest gossip before we start recording. I feel like I've been living underneath a rock!'

I nod laughing at him and he quickly rushes off to get his things ready, I myself also hurrying as I start to undress behind one of the screens. He has no idea... The woman hands me a pair of boots while I ask for her name. She says it's Kim and asks me a bit about the song, so she knows what to do with my hair and makeup. After I explain to her how I envisioned the song and sing a little bit she nods understanding as I sit down into the chair, surrendering myself to her. She doesn't do much with my hair, saying we can do enough with it later on as she applies a little touch of makeup. As soon as I'm done, I dash upstairs with a cigarette and lighter in my back pocket looking out for Delphine on my way... When I get outside I see Ryan's already there and he turns to me with a giddy expression as he shrieks.

'Look at you, gorgeous as always!'

I laugh at him saying thanks as I get my cigarette out quickly lighting it. Ryan frowns slightly, pointing at me in a disapproving manner as he mutters.

'It seems like I missed a lot, didn't I? You're smoking again, that's never a good sign...'

'I'm fine...'

I murmur as I take another draft leaning back against the door. He shakes his head unconvinced as he squeals trying to change the subject.

'Whatever. First things first, tell me everything about Paris! It feels like I haven't seen you in forever!'

I huff a laugh unable to deny the irony in that. Just forget about it, I can't lie to him... I think as I say.

'Nevermind. Forget about Paris! It was amazing, end of story.'

'What, nevermind?! What could be more exciting than Paris, did something happen between you and Ian?'

'Exciting, wouldn't be the first word I'd use right now... Ian and I are good, sorta?'

My voice dies out as I look over at Ryan unsure where to begin or what I'm feeling right now...

In the end, I decide to tell Ryan everything. He became one of my dearest friends ever since we started working together. I tell him literally everything! Since there's no one other than him around I feel comfortable with talking about all this, particularly Matty. I ramble on trying to catch him up to speed as fast as I can, for the first time releasing my inner demons. Ian sees him as competition, Rebekah somehow feels awkward, and my other best friend is on the other side of the world so he's the only one left to talk to. Maybe it's because Ryan is gay as can be, that I feel so comfortable around him and I'm not ashamed to tell him the details. I think as I fall silent having told him everything.

'...So, let me get this straight. That hottie is now living in your house and you've already seen him half-naked when you walked into him in the bathroom? Oh, and smoked pot together... Why didn't you call me sooner?!'

'Sssst! Not that loud! For fucks sake Ryan, it sounds even worse when you phrase it like that. Sorry I didn't call you ...I was kinda busy being stoned and shit! Goddammit, I don't know what I feel right now!'

I hiss taking another sip. As I blow out the smoke I drag my other hand through my hair freaking out all over again, fuck my life.

'I would really like to see this Matt for myself by now... I wanna know what it is that drives you mad so easily.'

'Ryan, not helping! Heh-he, why doesn't this surprise me... Hate to break it to you, darling. But I'm pretty sure he's straight.'

'Oh girl, that doesn't matter. I'm taken care of and I've found the love of my life. It never hurt anyone to take a look, that way I can finally judge him myself.'

He smiles smugly and I can only laugh back as I throw my cigarette bud over the edge. Kendall's goddamn gorgeous, he and Ryan are just a perfect pair. I groan slightly jealous, everyone wants what they have together... I shiver a little as the cold wind sweeps away my hair and I just take a minute to look at the sky trying to calm myself back down again. Ryan walks up beside me after a few minutes and lays his head on my shoulder as he murmurs.

'Come on, sweetie. Just throw everything you're feeling in your songs today ...you'll figure it out.'

I nod to him and both of us leave the rooftop, heading to the setting. You can do this... I murmur encouraging myself. Once we are there, Ryan shows me what he's been up to while I was changing. The floor has the same layout as ours, so navigation wise it's pretty easy to find our way around.

He has picked what we use as our conference room for the main setting for our shootings. The walls and floors are completely stripped down and made out of pure concrete. It's a darker room with only one window to the far right and on either side. There is a door on the right, leading to another room and the kitchen. Other than that the corner of the room is completely closed off. Dimples is still hanging some cords from the lighting and my mike across the sealing, which leads back to the door next to the window which is where normally the kitchen is located. Only now Ryan has set up his gear on the other side of the window, so he can do his work but still be able to look at me. Behind the door on the other side, I notice Kim is setting up the racks from upstairs so we can use that as a changing room. Ryan has set the stool from our recording room in the corner for me to sit on, pointing over to it as he says.

'We can change it to something else after each song, but this'll be the room we'll use most. The acoustics in here are amazing and the room next door is ideal for me to use. I can still look at you while you won't be disturbed by what's going on behind the screens, the only thing you have to focus on is the cameraman. I talked to Delphine and in a few days we'll have a piano available we can place in the main office next to the windows for your other song, sound good?'

'This is why I love you! You just get what I mean, it's perfect.'

He beams happily handing me two earpieces before heading to his post. The cameraman ushers me to the chair so he can check the lighting angles as I hear Ryan's voice inside of my head, or rather coming out of the earpiece.

'Sweetie, I'll have to play the music through here is that alright? That way I can get a clean recording, can you hit a couple of notes for me so I can do a soundcheck?'

'Yeah, sure... Let's get this show on the road already.'

I murmur back looking up at the mic and Ryan swears through the earpiece making me cringe in response.

'Don't look up, look at Dimples! Let me worry about the sound.'

'Alright! Damn, don't shout like that! And turn it down a notch, you're frying my brain...'

I cuss back, scowling at him over to the window. Even though I can't even see him from this angle, I know he can see me and that's good enough.

'Oops, sorry! Is this better?'

He giggles as he turns the volume down a bit. When we're done with the soundcheck and Dimples has found the right lighting we start our recordings. It only takes a few minutes before we're all in the zone and in the end, it takes us three times before we get it right recording it all in one go. Overall I'm rather pleased with how fast we managed to pull it off, and quickly I head back to Ryan after I changed into my second look as Dimples shows me the end result of the first video.

https://youtu.be/U8rkw4y9RXc

'Okay. Now that I know this is working, I'm even more pumped up to continue...'

I high-five Ryan and Dimples. Just now recognizing why Ryan calls him that, seeing the cute little pits in his cheeks as he beams at me smiling happily with the result. Feeling in the zone, I trail back to my chair another casual outfit on. Not wanting to deal with Delphine's attitude if she comes strolling in. I just wanted to know how my vision works, now I can focus on the rest without worrying about that.

'Next up... Dangerous woman.'

I say as I shake my hands trying to relax knowing I'm building up the intensity of my songs today. Maybe to others, it won't matter as much. I sit down on my chair dragging my hands through my hair as I look down at the floor. But some of them lay even closer to my heart, making it all the more difficult to sing them... I think as I prepare myself for the second recording of the day.

'Hit it, honey!'

Ryan's voice chimes inside my ear just before the music starts playing and I look up taking a deep breath and letting it all go...

https://youtu.be/RJe9jgtM4Co

When we're done recording the second one I take a quick break on the roof, feeling the need to be alone for a little while as I eat my lunch. Meanwhile, Ryan and Dimples are still busy editing and making preparations for the next video while eating in between. I quickly smoke a cigarette when I'm done before heading back to the changing rooms. So long for one a day... This time Kim decides to straighten my hair so it takes a little longer for me to get ready, but I stay quiet the entire time shutting myself off from the rest of the world. Somehow I feel more emotional than I thought I would be... I grumble to myself as I go back into the room, the pit in my stomach growing with every passing minute as I sit waiting on the tiny bar stool Ryan sought out for me until he gives me my cue. What's taking him so long? I mumble to myself and as if he'd heard me he sputters nervously through my earpiece.

'Oh, right... Sorry Sweetcheeks, you're up! Never forget you.'

Dimples dims the lights even more and I take a deep breath calming myself down a little. Just let it all out...

https://youtu.be/wxfAX18WbZ8

***

A/N:

!!! Important !!!

Original song titles used in #Nine:

Best Mistake. By: Ariana Grande ft. Big Sean
Dangerous Woman. By: Ariana Grande
Never Forget You. By: Zara Larsson &MNEK

Cover artist & video by:

Macy Kate

All credits go to them and their producers, I do not own these songs, nor videos!!!

Dear Ghosts:

At times I use cover artists because either I find the version more fitting in the story (male/female for example) or in this case I accidentally stumbled upon Macy Kate when I was browsing for songs on youtube!!! She's an amazing singer in my eyes and I love her work, by accident (and I really want to emphasize "by accident!") she happened to look a little bit like how I imagined Lexi to look, so that was even more perfect! I felt like I hit the jackpot, I actually worked this chapter (and the upcoming one as well) around how her videos looked like. Some of the "episode" readers or rather the "old Ghosts" may be shocked I replaced most of the songs, but I really couldn't find good versions of it to use on Wattpad... So please bear that in mind!

Of course, I'd love to hear what everyone thinks about how I made this chapter?! And for The "old Ghosts" what are your thoughts on the changes? I know it's a lot of songs in one chapter, but I also don't want to drag this out because there's a lot more to come... Just please trust me when I say there is a storyline behind all this. If it's really too much of an effort and you really can't listen you can skip them... The storyline won't be disturbed so much you wouldn't be able to follow, but since Lexi's a singer a bit of music is supposed to be involved, right?

I promise I'll do my best to get #ten: up as soon as possible!

Lots of love! xoxo Dominique Moust.