this is all we know

heavy hearts, breathing fast. casted in an iron chest with wide eyes that see all. emotions are not simple words we have tossed around in poems and songs. they are things that can make and destroy a life--and right now they are ruining not only mine, but their's.

i WONDER how your skin feels against your jacket. i wonder how your tears feel down your skin. i wonder how your heart beats; do we have different patterns against our bones and blood? do we truly feel that far apart?

THE DOCTORS  claim it's a disorder. i call it a hurricane that runs across the country, and i cannot keep you in the eye forever. i know it's not about me- i never want it to be. but my head never is alined with my mouth and fingers and they slip all the time. 

 I HOPE that you know my heart is in your palm. i hope you know you can place it with your own, unpatternized heart and i hope sooner or later it'll beat like yours. i want a normal blood flow and a normal head. i don't want to trap you

IF THAT MEANS TO leave you, i guess so be it. it's for the best, right?