I was sitting on my bed with a notebook in front of me. Nick sat on my chair spinning it around in circles. I've told him to stop, but the brat was now doing it on purpose to annoy me.

"Do you really not remember anything?" I asked him.

"Nope," Nick popped the p.

"The last time I saw you I was being splashed by Trey's car after work thanks to you. You drove away with Trey and Amelia," I said bitterly. Not a happy memory.

"Sorry." Nick stopped spinning before shooting me a guilty look. "But I don't remember that night. I don't even remember splashing you."

"That's great. Perfect," I said sarcastically. Then an idea popped into my head. "You're a ghost!"

Nick gave me a bland look. "Really Eva? I thought we went over this."

"No," I shook my head. "I mean you can go through walls and no one could see you. So you make the perfect spy. Go listen in on Trey and Amelia's conversations, find out where you three went that night." From the snippets I've heard around, apparently Nick had left them and told Trey not to pick him up the next day since he wanted to go to school a little earlier to practice. They were the last people to see him and they both had alibis thanks to Trey's home security cameras. I couldn't really go up to them and ask them what they knew. "Go walk around, follow people who you think might have been jealous of you or hated you."

Nick looked at me for a moment too long. "Wow... Why did I never think of doing that?"

"A little too many footballs to the head," I mumbled under my breath unconsciously.

"Hey!" Nick whined. "I heard that!"

I shrugged him off before leaning forward curiously. "Can I ask you something?"

I've had a lot of thoughts and questions now that I've seen Nick's ghost.

He gave me a weary look. "What?"

"What's it like being dead?" I asked.

Nick didn't seem too happy with this question.

That totally was insensitive.

I shook my hands in front of me. "It's fine, you don't have to answer it."

"No, no... I guess I owe you for helping me," he said rubbing the back of his neck. His expression darkening by the second. "I don't know... I feel empty... alone..."

In this moment I felt bad for Nick. It wasn't fair. Being alone sucked.

"I guess I made you feel like that too, huh?" He asked, a sad expression on his face. "I'm sorry."

I could tell he meant it. Because of him I had always felt alone. Always alone.

"Karma sort of sucks doesn't it," I said lightly, but Nick looked even more down.

"She's a bitch," he sighed, rubbing his hands on his face. "But then being invisible has its perks."

"I could imagine," I said doodling a flower in my notebook.

"Like not having to care how I look," he said. I nodded my head absent minded.

"And breaking into places," he listed. I let out an mmm adding a sun to my doodles.

"Like sneaking into your room and watching you change," he said, making my head snap up.

"You what?!" I screeched. My body was starting to shake as my cheeks turned deep red.

How dare he?!

Nick threw his head back guffawing in laughter. "Your face!"

I gripped my pen tighter thinking of ways to murder a dead guy.

He shook his hands in front of him trying to stop me and regulate his laughing at the same time. "Wait, wait, wait."

I clenched my jaw counting down the seconds in my head.

He took in a few deep breaths, his laughter quieting down. "You're the only person that could see me remember? I cannot control this ghost thing."

It clicked in my head that he was just saying this to rile me. My grip on the pen loosened.

Nick put a finger to his chin, a smirk creeping on his lips. "I should probably go check out the girls' locker room."

"Nick!" I gasped throwing a pillow at him expecting it to fly through him, but since he was solidifying his body to spin on my chair it hit him in the face. Let's just say he looked unpleased as I threw my head back in laughter.

"Again," Nick held up the pillow before throwing it back at me, but unlike him I caught it. "I can't control this ghost thing."

It was weird that he only appeared and solidified in front of me. Destiny was very cruel in that matter.

"Could you think of anyone that might want you gone?" I asked tapping the pen against my book.

Nick frowned before he replaced it with an arrogant smirk. "Other than you? No one. Everyone loves me."

I could tell he didn't mean that.

"Nick," I warned.

His frown returned once more. This was opening some wounds. "I wasn't a really good person was I?"

No.

You were a really bad person.

I didn't say anything, but Nick knew. He knew what he had done over the years.

"The thing is," he sniffed his nose as if holding back. "I can't think of anyone that would have wanted me alive."

I furrowed my brows. That had to be one of the saddest lines I have ever heard someone speak. I knew the feeling behind those words because I have thought them too. But Nick... everyone loved him. He was the town hero. He was a star. Everywhere he went praise followed him. He was the boy everyone wanted to be and be with.

"It's hard being perfect," he said making me grunt. His lips tipped up, but he shook his head. "I mean it's hard acting perfect. It hurts a lot of people. The boys on the team that don't get the light, the girls that confess their love and get rejected, the people that are depending on you to not fail. And then there are my friends. Friends with me for god knows what. Popularity? All we did was talk shit and bully others. If one of us didn't then we were weak. What kind of mentality was that?"

I was quiet for a moment. Little perfect Nick... Seems like he didn't like it as much as he pretended to.

"That's a shit mentality," I said quietly making him chuckle. "But Nick..."

Why me?

Why target me?

He seemed to hear my unsaid words.

"You were always so strong. You always took it without batting an eye. Maybe that's why I targeted you, I think. Because I thought you'd be the least person to get hurt," he was looking down at his shoes, as if talking to himself. His gaze rose to meet mine. "That was stupid of me huh? I ended up hurting you the most."

My throat went dry.

I hated hearing this from Nick. This pity it was earning him. He was my enemy.

He stood up, stretching his hands above his head high enough to show off his well sculpted core. I quickly averted my gaze from him looking down at the notebook. Damn his perfect built.

"I'm going to go check on my parents, I'll see you tomorrow Eva," he said, his voiced drenched in sorrow.

That made my chest ache.

How hard was it to see your parents mourning over you?

I turned and watched Nick go through the door, his ghost-ness fascinating me.

My heart was beating fast. My fingers hurt from clenching them. I hated him. I hated him so much. I hated how he was slowly making me not hate him. It wasn't fair. He didn't get to do this to me. Not after everything.

***

I swirled my spoon in my bowl of cereal. I was so lost in thought that I didn't hear my father come down.

"You okay there kiddo?" He asked, his face looking much older. My dad always liked Nick, he was probably taking this pretty hard too.

"Yeah..." I sighed. Was I okay? Was any of this okay?

"If you ever want to talk about it, you know I'm here for you princess, right?" He asked, his eyes searching mine for reassurance.

Tell you I'm seeing Nick's ghost? Not a good idea.

"Of course daddy," I said. "Dad.... what do you think about hating someone? Is it okay not to forgive someone for hurting you badly?"

"Hmm," he let out a grunt as he analyzed me, trying to figure out what I meant by that. "Grudges and hatefulness hold a horrible toll on you. They consume you in a way, fill you with darkness. Forgiveness is hard, but it does set you free. Take me and your mother for instance. The divorce was messy, we bickered all the time, harsh words were thrown back and forth, but I don't hate her. I can never hate her. She brought me you. You are my everything and I will forever be thankful for that. Years passed and your mother and I were able to put our differences aside, we both chose to forgive and move on. If we hadn't forgave each other, think how different each of our lives would have been. How different your life would have been."

He was right. Mom would never had found faith in men to start dating again. Dad would have probably started drinking more. I would have been stuck in a tug-o-war that would scar me growing up. Maybe forgiveness could be a good thing.

I picked up my plate and put it in the sink. "I'm gonna head to school. See you."

I placed a kiss on his cheek before leaving the house. I walked past Nick's house looking at the porch, part of me expecting him to be there.

Instead, Flash came running from the backyard. I bent down letting the little guy show me love. "Hey there good boy."

I scratched behind his heads, the beagle was trying to show me appreciation.

"I was always jealous of how he liked you more," Nick's voice came from behind me.

A shocked squeal escaped my lips as I fell behind on my behind. I tilted my head up to find Nick doubled back in laughter. Asshole.

"You freaking scared me you prick," I swore at him. This only made him laugh more. There was a twinkle in his eyes telling me he really enjoyed this.

Flash started barking at his previous owner. So Nick was right about being seen or sensed by animals. Nick tried calling to him but his dog was confused. I told Flash to head inside and the dog listened.

Nick held his hand out for me to take. I gave him a weary look. Despite everything, I still did not really trust Nick.

I pushed myself off the ground earning a pout from Nick. "You're going have to start trusting me. We're on the same side. You're the Watson to my Sherlock."

I started my walk to school with Nick by my side.

"First of all, if anyone is Sherlock it's going to be me," I counted on my fingers. "Second, trust is earned not given."

"Yeah," Nick sighed with a sad expression. "It's easily broken too."

I narrowed my eyes at him. I didn't like the tone he was using. "Nick?"

I stretched his name like how my parents do when they want me to confess something.

"I went spying last night," he said. Just like we planned.

"And?"

"And... a lot of people didn't really like me," he said and paused. "And some got over me really fast. This whole time I thought I was something. Someone. It's like I am nothing. I am nothing."

"Nick," I said softly. "You are something. Someone."

"Yeah?" He raised his brows not believing me. "Other than dead, what am I then? A jock? One injury and that's gone. Brains? I copy off others and have nerds do my papers for me. I'm not even a good person and I've got a shitty personality."

I winced at his tone. I owed him nothing to try and make him feel better. Here he was throwing a fit.

"You're Nick Leighton, bully extraordinaire," I said. "Like I mean no one has been as consistent as you. What has it been now? Eight? Nine years? That's pretty damn impressive."

The corners of his frown threatened to tip upwards. "Jesus Eva, can't you let me have my tantrum?"

I chuckled shaking my head. "I don't owe you shit Leighton."

"Indeed you don't."

We walked side by side saying nothing until Nick turned to look at me. "Thank you Eva. Not just for what you're doing, but for being the only real person in my short lived life. For a candy girl, you never sugar coated anything. You always gave it to me straight. Thank you."

His perfect image kept crumbling. His life was becoming more sad with every moment spent with him. It was not the only thing crumbling.

I think I did not hate him anymore. Instead, I felt really sad.

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