Chapter 9 - "He seems like a keeper."

I stared at the blank page in front of me. Five hundred words. Five hundred words was nothing really. It was probably less than a page, and yet I still lacked inspiration.

What was I supposed to write about language-learning strategies? What was the best way to learn a language? Hmm, having a gorgeous, fluent boyfriend who could teach you a whole range of vocabulary that you wouldn't learn through university...? I smiled to myself, thinking about the kinds of phrases that Nathan could teach me. It perhaps wouldn't be appropriate for my first university essay and my smile immediately dropped as I realized I was still no closer to starting this damn thing. Starting an essay was probably the hardest part of the whole process. As soon as I got words onto the page, the rest would just flow and I'd be fine.

Sighing, I shifted my eyes from the laptop screen to the window. It was such a beautiful day outside and I'd have much rather been sitting in the sun instead of cooped up in my room, forcing myself to complete this essay.

From across the corridor, I could hear Hayley and Gemma chatting away to each other. They'd formed a strong friendship already, mainly through sitting in each other's rooms and talking instead of sitting in their own rooms and doing their work.

God, I felt so boring.

"Izzy?" Jack yelled from the other end of the corridor.

"What?"

"Can you come here please?"

My essay wasn't really going anywhere so I hopped up from my chair and wandered down to Jack's room. He was lying on his bed with his eyes closed.

"What's up?" I asked him.

"Can you pass me my phone, please?" he asked. "It's on my desk."

I glanced across at his desk and saw his iPhone sitting neatly on top of his laptop lid. Was he for real?

"Are you serious?"

He grinned, opening one eye. "Sorry, babe. But I'm so comfy."

I shook my head to myself but picked up his phone anyway. "Catch," I instructed.

That made him sit up in horror, his arms automatically stretching outwards in a reflex to catch his phone. I smirked to myself, still holding it firmly in my right hand with no intention of throwing it across the room to him.

"Panicked a bit then, didn't you?" I teased. "Horrified at the thought of your precious iPhone being dropped."

"That was cruel," he said, reaching across to take it from me. "I'm so bored though. Do you want to do something?"

"I'm trying to do my essay," I told him pointedly. "Have you done yours yet?"

"Nah. It's not due yet, is it?"

"It's due on Friday."

"Exactly. Today is Wednesday. We've got plenty of time! I don't know why you stress about these things..."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, at this rate I still won't be done by Friday. What are you gonna write about?"

"Izzy, it's really simple. Just get out a piece of paper and brainstorm ideas. Think about how you learn Spanish. Do you read newspapers? Do you listen to Spanish music? How do you force yourself to improve? Literally just jot down stuff like that and the five hundred words will come easy."

"Hmm," I said, the cogs in my brain turning as I began to think of how I'd answer the questions Jack had suggested.

"Cool. So now that's sorted, can we go out and do something?"

"Let me finish this first and then we'll go out."

He sighed dramatically and collapsed backwards on the bed as if I'd just delivered some earth-shattering news.

"Can't you do something with Phil?" I suggested.

"Him and Shaun have gone for a beer at the pub to watch the rugby."

"Why didn't you go with them then?"

"'Cause I'd rather spend time with you." He fired a wink at me. "And now you've shot me down. I'm heartbroken."

"Okay, and what's the real reason you didn't go?"

"I don't really like rugby."

I nodded. "Well, how about we both do our essays and then we can go out?"

"You strike a hard bargain, Miss Smith." He sighed. "Okay then. Race ya!" And with sudden energy, he leapt up from his bed and threw himself onto his chair, pulling up his laptop lid.

Part of me wasn't in the mood for this, but perhaps a bit of pressure and competition would be what it took for words to finally appear on the page.

*

With five hundred and twenty-seven words written, I'd headed down to the park with Jack. It was later on in the afternoon but the sun was still warm as we walked alongside the river bank. My essay was far from perfect, but at least now I had stuff written down that I could work on and edit to improve. It was much better than a blank page.

Before I came to university, I was terrified about making friends. But Nathan had been spot on when he'd talked about how easy it would come. It really was easy. I'd known Jack almost three weeks and yet we were chatting with the same ease that would come from a ten-year friendship. And it was a great friendship too. Jack enjoyed harmless flirting, but we could also talk casually, without any joking or teasing. The girls, of course, picked up on this.

"Are you sure there's nothing going on?" Hayley asked in the evening as we ate the fajitas that she and Gemma had prepared.

"Absolutely nothing," I assured them both. "That's what's so great."

"Personally, I wouldn't play around if I had someone like Nathan. He seems like a keeper," Gemma stated.

I smiled at her but Hayley was still struggling to get her head around the fact that Nathan and I were in a serious relationship.

"Don't you think you'll ever be tempted though?" she asked me.

I shook my head. "No. I don't have any reason to want to cheat and that's not just because losing Nathan would be one of the worst things to happen to me. I literally have no desire to cheat on him. Nobody would be better so what's the point?"

"Cheating's wrong anyway," Gemma said. "There's no point being in a relationship if you're gonna cheat. It just proves you're unhappy."

"Not necessarily," Hayley disputed. "You could just be really drunk and end up kissing someone. It's just a kiss. It doesn't mean anything."

I said nothing, but I didn't agree. After all, I'd been there. Drunk or not, it didn't stop the hurt.

Jess phoned me later on that evening. She was bright and happy as usual, asking me about my day and what I'd done. Unlike Hayley, it had never even crossed her mind that something was going on between Jack and me. But, again unlike Hayley, she knew how much I loved Nathan.

"So how about you?" I asked, when I felt we'd talked about me enough. "How's Alex?"

Her mouth twisted as she thought about what to say, and her eyes lost their sparkle.

"What's wrong?" I asked softly.

"I'm really worried," she mumbled. "Like, really worried."

"Why? What's happened?"

"Nothing's happened... I feel stupid talking about it after the conversation that you and I had on Sunday about Nathan...I convinced you not to worry about your relationship with him and now I'm doing exactly that about my own."

"What are you worrying about?" I asked her. "Let's talk it through."

"He's acting strange," she told me. "It's been going on for the last week. He never seems to want to talk. Whenever we text, I'm the one who's making the effort to sustain the conversation. I'll write lines and lines of stuff, and he'll reply with one or two words. It's so frustrating!"

I frowned. "That's weird. How long has he been doing that for?"

She shrugged. "About a week. He just keeps saying he's busy and doesn't have time to talk. But I'd drop everything for him!"

My heart contorted in pain for her. Jess rarely spoke openly about her feelings for Alex. They were clear for everyone to see, but she never talked about how much he meant to her or how much she loved him. To hear her say something like that just proved how much it was getting to her.

"Have you talked to him about it?" I asked.

"Yeah but he says it's nothing. He says I'm overreacting. But then he came to visit a few days ago and everything was normal. He was chatty, he was loving...he was talking about how much I meant to him. He was normal. It was like he was a different person."

"And after his visit?"

She shrugged. "After he went back up to Liverpool, it was the same again. He was too busy to talk. He was sulking on Skype...normally we talk on Skype before we go to bed but he didn't want to. He said he was too tired and just wanted to sleep. And then sometimes when I suggest that we Skype, he says that he can't because he's got flatmates in his room. It's so weird. I'm convinced I've done something wrong—"

"Jess," I interrupted. "You haven't done anything wrong, alright? Maybe Alex is just struggling with the long distance. It is quite some distance between Liverpool and Oxford. He's probably just upset about being separated from you and so he's trying to cool off on the contact. Maybe talking to you just upsets him 'cause it reminds him of how far away you are."

"Why aren't you this rational when you're upset over Nathan?" she asked, with a slight smile.

"I could ask you the same question." I smiled back.

She shook her head. "Giving out advice and taking advice are different, I guess. Is this reassuring you though?"

"Reassuring me in what way?"

"Compared to Alex, Nathan isn't really acting weird, is he? All he's done is turn you down a couple of times. There could be a billion reasons for that, none of them having anything to do with your relationship."

"I suppose," I said. "But I'll throw your own advice straight back at you. We've only been at university for three weeks. The first weeks are bound to be rough because we're all still getting used to it. Take everything with a pinch of salt?"

She nodded. "I know. The only comforting factor is that he's fine with me when we're face to face. It's just over texting and Skype that he's strange."

"And, Jess, if he does carry on being like that with you then you just have to bring it up, especially if he refuses to give you a good reason. You can't let him treat you like that and worry you. It's not fair. You've done nothing wrong."

She nodded again. "Yeah. I know."

Jess wasn't confrontational though and she was one of those people who were constantly worried about upsetting others. If Alex had a go at her, she was more likely to sit there and take it rather than argue back. If Nathan had a go at me, I'd definitely argue back. But perhaps that was just how we'd grown to know each other. Thinking about it, Alex didn't seem the type of person who'd have a go at Jess. He was a lovely guy. But I didn't know what went on behind closed doors.

As I was getting ready for bed, my phone buzzed on my bedside table. I finished brushing my teeth and then hopped under my duvet, picking up my phone to read the message. A smile spread across my lips as I saw it was from Nathan.

Nathan: Hope your essay ended up writing itself. Missed talking to you today. Love you.

Today had been the first day that Nathan and I hadn't Skyped since I'd started university. But, for the first time, I wasn't craving it. I'd accepted that we didn't need to talk every single day in order for the relationship to work. And I found that the more relaxed I became about it, the less I stressed.

Perhaps I had overreacted in my panic about our relationship suffering. But I had no reason to and I was only just realizing that. What did it matter if we didn't sleep together? Maybe Nathan had a valid reason for not wanting to, one that had absolutely nothing to do with me. I replied to his text and drifted off to sleep with a smile on my face. When two people are meant to be together, nothing can tear them apart.

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Thank you for reading :)xx