Chapter 25 - "You're drenched."

(Sexual content in this chapter)

I stared at my phone, completely aware of the saying 'a watched phone never rings.' But surely he'd ring? Or text? Surely he'd send me some kind of message, even though we'd both said we didn't want to hear from each other? They were just words, said in the heat of the moment. I didn't mean them...I hoped he didn't mean them either.

Many hours had passed since I'd left Nathan's flat, and while I'd calmed down considerably, I was still sadder than I'd ever been.

Nothing.

Six hours later and still nothing.

"Izzy?" Jack called from the other side of my door, knocking softly on it. "Are you awake?"

I considered staying silent, fooling him into thinking I was asleep so that I could be left in peace. But what purpose would that serve? I'd only lie here continuing to worry.

"Yeah," I called back.

Jack pushed open my bedroom door and crept inside. I'd been pretty hysterical when I'd got back to the flat earlier, and he was inevitably wary that I was a potential bomb about to go off.

"How you feeling?" he asked, sitting down on the edge of my bed.

I shrugged. "I thought he'd get in touch. He hasn't."

"Well...have you messaged him?"

"No."

"Maybe he's waiting for you to get in touch."

I sighed. "Jack, you're a guy. Tell me what's going through his head."

"I don't know, Izzy. All I know is that Nathan absolutely adores you. You'll get through this."

"You should have heard how he was talking. He was seriously pissed off."

"With all due respect, I highly doubt you were being polite to him either."

"Hm."

"He was wound up and angry. In a twisted way, you're probably the only person in the world he'd talk to in that way, because you're the only person in the world who is able to draw that kind of emotion from him. That's the kind of power you have over someone who's madly in love with you."

I sighed. "I know we said we wouldn't talk to each other tonight...but a small part of me was really hoping he'd text..."

"Maybe he just needs to calm down. If he's still mad, then the last thing he's going to want to do is message you...he'll be worried that you'll just end up arguing again. Tomorrow's a fresh day and you can tackle the problem head on, with fresh outlooks on things."

"I guess," I conceded.

"Try and get some sleep. I know you're gonna be anxious about all this but trust me...it's just a blip. You'll come out of it stronger."

"I hope so," I said quietly.

Jack squeezed my hand before standing up. "You know where I am if you want late night cuddles."

I smiled in appreciation, though I had the feeling this wasn't a flirty remark on Jack's part, but rather a genuine offer of comfort.

"Thanks, Jack. You're a good friend."

He winked. "Sleep well."

I hadn't expected to fall asleep instantly, but after half an hour of agonising, I began to drift off. I put it down to exhaustion and slept so deeply that I didn't even hear my phone chime.

*

My automatic instinct the next morning was to check my phone. And when I saw that I had a new message, my heart leapt.

Nathan: Are you awake? [6h ago]

That's all it said. Maybe Nathan had had bigger trouble sleeping than me. Sitting up in bed, I tapped out a reply.

Me: Sorry, I'd fallen asleep. Can I see you today? We need to talk. 

By the time I'd had breakfast and showered, Nathan had replied to my message.

Nathan: Sure. I have work to do this afternoon but come round at five and I'll cook you dinner. [13m ago]

The message confused me. Work? We'd planned to spend the weekend together and Nathan always made a point of not doing work. But if he didn't want to see me, then why would he offer to cook me dinner? It didn't make sense. I agreed anyway though and then went to chat to Jack about it.

"Okay," he said. "Now you need to plan what you're going to say to him. If you don't plan it then you'll just end up getting angry and upset again. Plan what you want to tell him and work out how to phrase it in a way that will make him understand it from your point of view."

I nodded. "Okay. That's a good idea."

"Then go shopping or something to take your mind off it for the afternoon."

So that's what I did. I sat down in my room and I thought long and hard about what I wanted to say to Nathan; no matter how frustrated he'd made me yesterday, I was sure we could easily solve it by talking in a civilised manner.

With my mind clear about what I wanted to say, I felt more positive about the situation and set off for the shopping centre later that afternoon.

Unsurprisingly for a Saturday afternoon, it was packed. There was nothing I hated more than shopping when you could barely move through the crowds. The only positive thing was that the extra effort was time-consuming, and so it was time to head to Nathan's before I knew it.

I breathed in the fresh air as I headed towards the exit, but then froze when I saw the weather. At some point in the last few hours, it had begun to rain...and not just rain, but absolutely tip it down. I actually groaned out-loud as I stood just inside the doors, surveying the torrential rain.

Was it worth going back and buying an umbrella? Or should I just grab a taxi to Nathan's? What would be more cost effective? My mind was made up when I saw another member of the public battling with her umbrella in the wind. I winced in sympathy when it turned inside out. Taxi it was.

"Isobel?"

My stomach lurched upon hearing a voice that used to be so familiar to me. Turning around slowly, my stomach churned even more when I realised my instincts were correct.

"We really need to stop bumping into each other in shopping centres," Matt joked.

Of all the days...

"Yeah... We do," I agreed.

He folded his arms, something he always used to do when feeling uncomfortable. "So... How are you?"

How was I? I was in the middle of a huge argument with my boyfriend, and now I was having to engage in awkward conversation with an ex, who just happened to show up on the day that my current relationship was feeling rocky.

"I'm good," I answered brightly. "Yeah, really good... How are you?"

He shrugged. "I'm fine, I guess. Shame about the rain. Although I guess it's ideal shopping weather."

"Oh, I wasn't really shopping," I said. "I just needed to pass the time before heading to Nathan's. He lives nearby so..."

"Oh. You're still together then?"

"Yeah. Things are really good," I lied. I wasn't going to tell my cheating ex-boyfriend that I was currently furious at my current boyfriend for something pretty similar. So I quickly changed the subject. "I'm guessing you're home for the weekend, then?"

"I am," he said. "I'm heading back to Uni tomorrow evening."

"Cool," I replied. "Anyway, I'm really late. It was nice seeing you though." It really wasn't nice seeing him, but I wasn't going to come across as the ex-girlfriend who was still bitter and unable to move on.

"Yeah, you too." He flashed me a smile. "See you around."

Hopefully not...

Finding a taxi was a nightmare. Everyone seemed to have the same idea as me and had opted for a ride rather than walking to their destinations. By the time I'd finally hailed one successfully, I was drenched from head to foot and shivering. I sank into the comfy back seat, taking out my phone to text Jack.

Me: I guess today was the perfect day to bump into Matt...

Shaking my head to myself, still amazed at the coincidence of the situation, I closed my eyes and prepared myself for another intense conversation with Nathan.

If anything, turning up looking like a drowned rat broke the ice between us.

"Christ," Nathan breathed when he opened the door to me. "You're drenched."

"I got caught in the rain."

"Do you want a shower?" he offered. "You look frozen. And dinner isn't quite ready anyway..."

A shower sounded amazing at that point. We'd already broken the ice so a shower would be the perfect time to ease the tension further.

"Sure. Thanks."

"Leave your clothes on the bed and I'll put them in the dryer."

So that's what I did. The warm water was a welcome sensation after being caught out in the freezing, winter rain, and I probably spent longer in there than was necessary, building up the courage to face Nathan again.

When I emerged from the bathroom, he'd left some clothes on his bed for me to wear: a pair of pyjama bottoms that I sometimes wore when I stayed over, and a baggy t-shirt of his. Slipping into them, I towel-dried my hair and then took a deep breath before heading back into the main room.

"I made pasta," Nathan said, before I'd even uttered a word.

"Lovely," I replied, but my voice was croaky. Why was I nervous? This was Nathan. There was undeniably something different about the atmosphere in the room though.

As expected, the beginning of dinner was awkward. There was an elephant in the room that neither of us seemed willing to acknowledge.

The silence drew on, and it became clear that we really needed to discuss the problem. Yet neither of us brought it up. Half six became seven, and I couldn't help but keep glancing out of the window at the darkening sky. I really didn't want to travel across London in darkness back to my flat if this conversation didn't go well. I needed to bite the bullet.

"So, maybe we should—"

"Was the shopping centre busy?" Nathan interrupted me.

I was stunned into silence again for a few moments. It wasn't like we'd both spoken at the same time. Nathan had interrupted me. He'd noticed I was about to bring up the impending conversation and he'd cut me off and steered the topic back to something we'd already discussed.

"Uh, yeah," I said. "You know, weekend and all that..."

"Bump into anyone you knew?"

It was a casual question, a question that was so normal to ask when you went shopping in the local area. Yet the way that Nathan asked me meant that there was no doubt what he was inferring. He knew. I didn't know how he knew, but he knew I'd bumped into Matt.

"Yes, actually. I saw Matt briefly."

"What a coincidence," Nathan muttered bitterly before snatching my empty plate from in front of me and carrying them both over to the sink.

"I, uh, it wasn't planned," I stuttered.

"Hence the coincidence," Nathan replied.

How did he know? I patted my pockets for my phone before realising that I wasn't wearing the same clothes as before. I was in Nathan's clothes. Mine were on his bed...

"It was a coincidence, Nathan," I said quietly. "Why do you think I'd go and see him? He's in the past completely..."

"It's just weird, Bella. You and I fight, and then the next day you end up seeing your ex-boyfriend. It's the first time you've seen him in ages and it just happens to be the same time that we're arguing."

"It's a big shopping centre! There were thousands of people there! And he approached me!"

"Of course he did."

He was beginning to irritate me now. How had he turned this around on me? This whole problem had stemmed from him. So I switched from defensive to offensive.

"Did you go through my phone or something?"

"I was putting your clothes in the dryer when I realised your phone was in your pocket. I took it out and a message from Jack flashed up asking about how it went when you saw Matt."

"No, it wasn't like that."

"So how was it like?"

"I just happened to bump into him!" I snapped. "I didn't plan anything. He was just there. Did you even read the text I sent to Jack?"

"No, Bella, because I'm not the kind of person who goes through my girlfriend's messages."

"No, you're just the kind of person who misunderstands and jumps to conclusions."

He narrowed his eyes. This was a disaster. I'd come here to sort things out and instead we'd just ended up arguing again, this time about something different.

"I'm the kind of person who jumps to conclusions?" he asked, raising his voice. "What about you? How about when you jumped to the immediate conclusion that Louisa and I had been sleeping together?"

"Well it's an obvious conclusion to make given your past," I muttered.

I immediately knew I'd crossed the line. Nathan gave me a hard stare. "That's probably the most offensive thing you've ever said to me."

I should have apologized, but I was so wound up that I just couldn't utter the words.

"I don't know if I'm more disappointed or hurt," he said.

Guilt overpowered my defences. "Nathan, no, it's not like that—"

"Save it, Bella. You've said all you need to."

For a few heavy minutes, we stood in an uncomfortably awkward silence, one that was only interrupted by a quiet clicking sound as the room plunged into darkness.

"What's that?" I asked immediately.

"The power. Hang on."

I could vaguely see his broad figure walking back towards the kitchen, followed by him pulling open a drawer. Seconds later, the room was illuminated by a bright flash. I jumped in fright, consequently crashing into the dining table. Before I'd had chance to question Nathan, a loud clap of thunder echoed around the room, and I realised, with relief, that the flash had just been a bolt of lightning and nothing to do with whatever Nathan was doing in the kitchen.

"Sounds like a storm," Nathan said. "That's probably why the power is out."

"I should probably get going soon, then, before it gets too bad."

"Bella, don't be ridiculous. There's no chance I'm letting you travel back in this weather."

His point was immediately backed up by another flash of lightning and roll of thunder.

"Okay," I said, unable to argue.

"Are you alright to sleep in those clothes?"

"Sure," I replied. "I usually do."

As the room slowly began to light up, I realised that Nathan was lighting candles. "These aren't going to last very long," he said. "We should probably just go to bed. I'm knackered anyway. You're welcome to stay up and watch something on my laptop though."

"Yeah, I might do," I murmured. "Made in Chelsea was on..."

"I still can't believe you watch that shite," he muttered to himself.

Nathan often criticised Made in Chelsea, but usually only in a joking manner. He wasn't joking this time and for some reason, that hurt. I let him go to bed and then I settled down on the sofa and fumbled around for the laptop in the small amount of candlelight.

Unfortunately, I couldn't even enjoy it. I was thinking about Nathan the whole time and the problems of Chelsea's elite seemed petty compared to my own.

When I couldn't take it anymore, I shut off the laptop. The candles had long burnt out and I had to feel my way through the room to the bedroom. Nathan was sound asleep and I slipped in beside him carefully. He didn't stir.

It took me a while to fall asleep, probably due to the fact it was barely past nine in the evening. And when I did drift off, I was unable to actually stay asleep. I woke up several times during the night, pretty much every hour.

The fifth time this happened was at quarter to six. But this time it was different. At some point between 4am and 5:45am, Nathan had rolled over and draped his arm over me. This was normal behaviour for him, a subconscious action that happened quite regularly. What was also normal was the erection digging into my back.

I lay there and watched the minutes tick by. Nathan's arm was uncomfortably heavy over me. Not wanting to wake him up, I carefully tried to wriggle from under it. When that proved unsuccessful, I attempted to subtly manoeuvre it off me.

"What's wrong?" Nathan mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

"Nothing," I whispered back. "Your arm was crushing me and I couldn't sleep."

"Oh. Sorry, Bella."

We lay there in silence, simply looking at each other. I knew we were both thinking the same thing. It was inappropriate given our current situation but in our sleepy states, our guards were down. Sex had become a crucial part of our relationship, becoming even more exciting due to the fact we were both beginning to explore that part.

Nathan leant to kiss me just as I trailed my hand down his body to grip him. My hand on his erection caused him to freeze before our mouths had connected. He let out a sharp gasp, followed by a groan.

"Bella..." he murmured.

I didn't know if it was a murmur of pleasure or one of warning. Either way, I didn't want to find out. I closed the distance between our mouths and kissed him.

Something told me that this was wrong. It shouldn't be happening in this way. But something about it felt so right and natural. As soon as we started kissing, everything else faded into the background. Our argument was forgotten, the tension gone. We got completely and utterly lost in one another.

Our lips were hungry and insistent, our tongues now working together instead of against each other. Despite my lack of sleep, I felt alive and full of energy as I let my nails scrape up Nathan's back, sparking a low growl in the back of his throat.

We usually loved the intimacy of foreplay, but this morning neither of us wanted to delay the end goal. It was a sign of just how well we knew each other that no communication was needed. Nathan was rock hard against my thigh, and I wrapped my legs around his back in silent encouragement.

With a groan, he pushed inside me. He was slow to begin with, his strokes soft and gentle, his mouth caressing my neck. As I arched my back and tightened my legs around his hips, though, he sped up. Each thrust was harder and deeper than the last, each one drawing a moan out of me and spurring him on.

In a movement so swift and sudden that it forced a surprised gasp out of me, Nathan grabbed my calves and pulled my legs up to his shoulders, immediately allowing him to drive even deeper. Tension coiled into a tight spring low in my stomach and my thighs began to quiver.

"Don't stop..." The pleading words tumbled past my lips.

He groaned, his hips slapping against me and echoing around the room. One of his hands reached down to rub at my clit, and seconds later, white light blinded my vision as a powerful climax barrelled through me. I clenched around him, almost sobbing at the intensity.

"Oh, fuck, Bella..." And with one last thrust, his whole body shook.

Then there was silence, the only noise our own deep breathing as we tried to recover. Nathan still lay on top of me, not saying a word. Then he surprised me further by placing a light kiss on my lips, before rolling off me.

An unfamiliar emotion drifted through me as I watched him. His eyes were shut, and at first I thought he was just resting. But then I realised he was asleep. Maybe he was tired; after all, he'd woken up from a deep sleep, and then we'd had pretty energetic sex. But I couldn't help feeling a little let down. Part of me had naively thought that the sex would break the ice and be the beginning of us making up. Strangely though, I didn't feel like I'd been used. I knew, deep down, that Nathan would never treat me like that.

I lay there for a few more minutes, wondering whether he'd wake up or not. When he rolled onto his side, pulling the covers further over his body in a subconscious gesture, I accepted that he wasn't just napping. Glancing at the clock, I saw that it was nearly seven. I slipped out of bed and went in search of my clothes. The hurt overpowered everything else. I dressed, grabbed my phone, and headed out of the door.

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