So this is how VerZac started. Cute isn't? I don't know what you think but that day was the most special day of my life. My lips smile even in pain whenever I recount the moments that have gone by. I was still sulking on the floor but still, my heart was feeling good when I imagined him smiling at me. But it hurts when I realize I can't live those moments again. Why people come in our life when they have to leave in the end? I can't even blame my life. I am blessed to have this life as a human. It's just now, my days were getting difficult to survive. Though, for a few moments but life met me with a smile. I got an opportunity to feel those butterflies inside my stomach. I have felicitated that moment when your heart starts beating fast like an engine as soon as you see his face.

I tried to convince my heart. I tried to stand up from the floor. I can't be so weak. I will not let him go. Yes, I will beg him to be with me. He's my love, I can't let him go that easily. I stood up and opened the shower. The water was cold and I wanted to freeze my heart with it. It felt like it washed away all of my irritation and sorrows for a minute.

When I entered the room my phone beeped. It was a notification telling I have received a message from Zac. I widened my eyes in surprise, my heart started beating faster. My hands were shivering while opening his messages.

Zac
Look I know it's difficult. But our journey was just that far.

We can't be together now. In few months I will go outside for my studies. It will be a new life for me and I wanna start fresh.

Veronica
What it has to do with our relationship? Z what are you saying?

Is our relationship that weak that it can't survive a small distance?😞

I got frustrated when I read all this. He was changed. He was not that Zac I loved. He would never say that. I was gazing his message box for his reply and suddenly his profile showed online and then typing. This time my heart was scared. That typing was not a happiness anymore.

Zac
All these things just happen in novels and movies, not in real life.

I want to concentrate on my studies now. You should too as now you are a senior.

Veronica
Don't give me these lame excuses Zac.

If you wanna break up just simply say it.

I was fuming. Reading all these so-called lame excuses made me angry. He was still lying to me. Can't he give me one genuine reason?

Zac
Look I don't wanna talk to you. You are not in your right mind.

Veronica
No, I wanna talk now.

I want a real reason.

Zac
Think what you want to think. Now you think am a liar!! Great 🙂

Veronica
Why are you making this difficult for me? 😞

Zac
Please understand... It was not an easy decision to make.

Veronica
Ok, I won't talk. Will you do one thing for me?

Zac
Sure.

Veronica
Just call me tomorrow in the morning ok?

Forget it... I will call you, just receive it, please 🙏

Zac
Ok.

Veronica
🙂

I asked him to call me because we can sort out everything easily. I can't ask him to meet me because he's visiting his grandparents in this summer holidays. I don't know how will I react on the phone. But I definitely know that I will break down after hearing his voice. Maybe hearing my voice will convince him to give us one more chance. I am ready to compromise. I will do as he will say, but I can't let him go. 

I broke my heart loving him. A broken heart is worse than any physical wound because nobody can see it but the pain is unbearable every time I breathe. I know how much I love him because I can't even hate him for breaking my heart. I tried to hate him but I couldn't. I think it was my biggest mistake that I thought he has fallen for me as much I have fallen for him. Dying at once is easier than dying every day thinking about that person you love is not yours anymore. 

I opened my book to read something, to calm my mind. But I was just turning pages and suddenly that flower fell on the floor. I quickly pushed my chair back and took it in my hands gently. Then a sudden thought hit my mind. I told Zac this was priceless and nothing can buy it. But I forgot that it will end up with time. The flower was all dried up and it was now covered with cracks. I think this is the sad truth that all the priceless things end up with time. They disappear in memories. This thought hit me hard. It felt like a giant hole was pummeled into my chest, with no hope of repair. 

I tried to sleep but I couldn't. My heart was nervous about what will I say to him tomorrow on the phone!! It was finding ways which can convince him to stay. Isn't it strange that the person you loved with your all heart, now starts behaving like a stranger? I have seen people going through the same situation and I know it sucks and you can't even do anything. You can't force anyone to love.

Next morning I took my phone and ran on the terrace. I tried to dial his number so many times but I couldn't. I was so nervous. What will I say to him? What if he still decides to leave me? What if I end up saying something stupid? Various questions were coming in my mind. Finally, I just took a deep breath and pressed the dial button. It was ringing now. My heartbeat was getting faster with every ring. He didn't receive the phone on my first attempt. I dialed again and he still did not answer.

I was getting tensed. And then my heart and brain started making different assumptions. Maybe he is busy and he will call back later. Maybe he knows that I will start crying and he doesn't want to tolerate any drama. I didn't call him again because I don't want to disturb him. I waited for his call. From morning to evening but it never came. I left him so many messages after every three to four hours to call me but he left those message unseen.

I was still empty stomach. My mom was asking me different questions when she saw the food kept untouched inside the fridge and I just told her that am not in the mood. My mom was trying to talk to me but I don't want to talk to anyone. Actually, I didn't care about anything. I was only thinking about him. He agreed to talk to me yesterday and now he was not picking any of my calls. I was just craving to talk to him once.

Veronica
I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you 😢😭

Why are you acting like this? Just pick up my call, please.

This was one of my message from all of the countless messages I had sent him. This time he saw them all but did not send any reply. His ignorance was killing me. I typed again.

Veronica
How do I say I miss you in a way that will make your heart ache as mine does? 😢

He saw it again and this time it finally showed typing. I cried tears of joy whilst waiting for him to reply.

Zac
Why are you spamming me? If I am not replying that means I don't want to talk to you. 😶

Don't you get it?

Just don't make this hard for me😖

If you love me just don't try to call and text me again. 🙏

Veronica
Ok🙂

I felt like my heart's being torn to pieces. My chest became tight and I got a lump in my throat. I couldn't breathe. I was hyperventilating. My sniffles were getting out of my control. I tried to scream but my voice cracked whenever I opened my mouth. My breaths were pricking my heart. I bit the pillow tight between my teeth and let out a long scream of agony. My face turned red and blotchy and my eyelids were getting puffy. And all those things which aren't attractive.

It was okay before when I could send him messages or dial his number but now he had forbidden me from all those things. And I was going to do the same. If he doesn't want me to send him any message and he gets happiness from it then I will not. I just want to see him happy.

I was scrubbing and blowing my nose because I was actually getting break-up cold. My breath started to stutter whenever I tried to take a deep breath. Sometimes I just want to throw my heart out of my body. It's broken down into million pieces and doesn't even make a sound. I was feeling a certain emotion in my stomach which seemed like all butterflies which used to tickle me before were now dead inside it. I was feeling worthless. I was feeling stupid. I think part of me knew the second I saw him that this would happen. And why not? He's gorgeous he can get anyone. It wasn't like he told me this would happen but I always had that feeling with me. And I never believe it. How could I? How could I believe that he was pulling me to hell when he looked so much like an angel when he smiled at me?

Now it's nothing. It's over. The only thing left is flashbacks and kaleidoscope of memories. It's just all will come back but he has gone too far. He made me feel like a princess. He made me feel like I was everything and now he was the same person who pulled me down to nothing.

With his few words, all of my desires and hope seem to have vanished into thin air.

 I broke my own heart loving him. No one deserves this pain. It feels like you will never be okay again. It feels like they were the only person in the world that truly knew you, and no one will ever replace them or make you happy again. Some friends on my facebook tried to make me laugh and to be ok again. Even my mom tried to talk about my problem but I didn't listen. Zac was the only person that could make me laugh and make me feel better right now but I knew he won't be there to do that. This time I won't have his shoulders on which I can pour all of my sorrows. The sense of impending doom gave me sleepless nights.

I miss you Zac. I try not to miss you, but I end up missing you even more.