A/N: I was looking on all of the chapters on Wattpad one day, and I found the beginning of this saved as a draft. I probably thought this wasn't that good or something. Well, today I found this and I actually thought it was good. I could still relate to what I wrote like a year ago. That just goes to show that no human being changes that much. 

Hope you enjoy!

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I look like a mess; trust me, I know. I have a shirt on that reveals my stomach and G-tube. I have baggy pants on that are somewhat stylish. I have green socks on with tennis shoes. I got my hair cut, and I donated it for Lots of Love; so, that's why my hair is short and poofy like a mad scientist. My glasses are probably askew. 

I look like a walking disaster. 

I only look like this because I have had a busy ass day.  My eyes probably look droopy and tired. I am exhausted. I feel weak. People are staring at me, and I don't know what to do about it. 

Then, my I hear my favorite song playing from one of the cars passing me by on the street. I start jamming out to it. Moving my head, making my short curly brown hair move side to side. I love feeling this way. I love how the feeling of happiness had risen up inside of my chest and bring out a beaming smile on my face. I loved the feeling of joy, of happiness. 

But we could never truly have happiness without pain. We could never have happiness if there were some days that the sun just didn't shine so brightly anymore. We could never really have happiness without rain. 

I am Maddie. 

I am a disabled, skinny, vocal-chord paralyzed, anxious-sometimes, and sassy all the time QUEEN! 

I know that sometimes I do care about what my appearance looks like and what other people think of me. 

And I know that's a stupid thing to care about! 

Your appearance does not define who you are. You are beautiful. Inside and out. You may not like your hair, your personality, or your body size. But I'm here to tell you that you can't love anyone else if you don't love yourself first. Trust me, I've dealt with insecurities and I've cried my eyes out because of my reflection in the mirror and my personality. This is something I've struggled with all my life. Slowly, over the course in time, I've learned to love myself more. Loving myself is still hard sometimes; however, I would rather struggle with loving myself than just hating myself all my life. 

A lot of teenage girls deal with eating disorders, depression, and mental pain because they are not sure how to love themselves. I've been one of those teenage girls. I've struggled with anxiety and depression so much over course of my life, and sometimes I don't even know I'm struggling when an episode actually happens. 

But I'm here tell you: 

I'm slowly learning to love myself for who I am. 

And so should you!