I have a Trach. A Trach is a tube in my neck that helps me breathe. I know, my definition sucks! If you want to know exactly what a Trach is and how it helps people like me breathe, look it up! 'Cause I don't feel like explaining that to you.

The whole reason I have a Trach is because, when I was born, I couldn't breathe. So, the doctors inserted a Trach in my neck.

I should be grateful that I have a Trach, right? Otherwise I wouldn't be alive right now. Sometimes I'm insecure about my Trach, though. People stare at me a lot. I probably look hideous to them. I mean, imagine seeing a person with a hole in their neck... with a tube sticking into it....for the first time. I get why people stare. I sometimes pretend like I don't notice. Or sometimes I just stare right back at them.

But all that starring....it really bothers me. It really makes me feel insecure.

Do I really look that hideous???

And, sometimes, I look in the mirror and see an ugly monster. My mouth is always frowning because I have a paralyzed jaw. Also, my mouth can't fully close, so people always see my two front teeth. I have fat nose. And...there's a hole in my neck with a tube going into it.

In those moments, I can't help but think:

I do look hideous.

My face...it's so ugly.

I wish I never had to have a Trach.

I wish I never had a paralyzed jaw.