It had been three days since the accidental ecstasy situation, and quite frankly, I was feeling down. I had asked Izzy about it, but he had told me that it was normal because of some chemical readjustment in the brain; I just had to wait it out.

Currently, I was laying in Nikki's bunk while he and the others sat in the front lounge doing God knows what. I blankly stared at the ceiling, thinking of everything that had happened on this tour.

There was all the trouble with Nikki, dating Axl, sleeping with Taime, almost sleeping with Vince, sleeping with Duff, sleeping with Izzy, my first ecstasy experience, then back to sleeping with Nikki... I was almost disgusted with myself for getting around like that.

Was I basically a groupie at this point? I mean, I wasn't dating any of them. It was all about the sex... then again, we all seemed to have a connection more than that of the back lot girls did with any of them. I suppose I was just living my life and doing things my way.

I was ripped from my thoughts at the sound of the bunk curtain being pulled open, allowing a flood of yellowy-white light to pour in. The silhouette of Nikki blocked out a bit of light after a moment, preventing the light from blinding me any further.

"What'cha doing?" he asked playfully.

"Thinking," I mumbled, trying to act like I was semi-happy.

"Right... what's wrong?"

"God, why do you always know?" I asked, slightly exasperated.

"Because I know you," he pointed out, tilting his head.

I had to laugh at how much he seemed like a puppy; he was bouncy and happy for once, which reminded me...

"I totally forgot about Whiskey!"

"What? We didn't need any from the store," he said confusedly, tilting his head in the opposite direction.

"The puppy," I reminded him.

"Oh, shit. I forgot, too. I guess we've been a bit preoccupied with the drama of tour," he mumbled, chuckling softly.

"Yeah. It feels like there's a lot that we've forgotten," I said sadly.

"What's wrong? Coming down has you in the dumps, doesn't it?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine; Izzy told me it just takes a couple days," I replied with a sigh.

"He's right, but in the meantime," he trailed off before tossing his journal into the bottom corner of the bunk.

"What are you doing?" I asked him as he heaved himself into the bunk, laying flat on top of me. "Nikki, can't breathe," I wheezed when he had put his full weight on me.

"Sorry," he said with a deep laugh, pulling himself up so that he sat on the other side of me, but he still leaned over me.

"In the meantime, what?"

"I wanted to talk to you about something," he said, pushing up the edge of my shirt and running his fingers over the exposed part of my stomach.

"Okay, what?"

"I don't know if it's partially jealousy, but I miss it being you and I," he began. "I think-"

"Ew, get a room," Mick slurred as he walked (more like staggered) by.

Nikki flipped him off and closed the curtain of the bunk before switching on the little light inside.

"Anyway, I think that- okay, I know that I was a controlling asshole before, but I'm different now. I miss you and I feel like I scared you away by being like that. I'm sorry," he said softly, his green eyes shining with truth.

"It's okay; I'm sorry, too. I don't handle things well, and I admit that. I get a bit over dramatic and fuck things up sometimes. I know you were trying to keep me safe."

"Instead, I drove you off."

"Your intentions were good. Sometimes people go about things the wrong way," I explained, playing with a bit of his hair that was laying against my shoulder.

"Yeah, but I shouldn't have tried to force you into doing what I wanted you to do."

"Well, you're a dominant guy who has a plan for everything. It happens."

He smiled and lightly shook his head so that I didn't pull his hair.

"Sadie, I want to ask you something," he said slowly, as if to formulate his sentence.

"What?"

"Would you be my girlfriend- like, officially?" he asked, catching me off guard. As I was about to open my mouth to answer, he suddenly said, "Look, I know you think that official titles fuck things up, but I think that it's to opposite for us; we're like human jinxes. I mean, if you don't want to than that's fine, but dammit, I believe we can-"

"Nikki."

"Wha-"

"Will you shut up?" I asked with a giggle. "I was going to say yes, but you interrupted me," I said, pressing a kiss to his lips.

He appeared stunned, but satisfied, as he smirked before kissing me back. It felt like he had somehow managed to include every fiber in his being in that kiss, and it was probably the most amazing one yet.

"You really are beautiful, Sexy Sadie. Like a wild flower."

°°°°°°

I searched the entire backstage area in extreme panic mode; Nikki was missing. Already.

I had looked everywhere I could think of for him, expect the hotel, which was too far away for him to get there and back in time before Mötley's set started.

"Vince, where's Nikki?" I asked.

"I don't know; he's probably with Robbin, why?"

"Robbin Crosby?! Robbin is here?" I asked in frustration. "The only thing that happen when he's around is me getting neglected and them getting high," I grumbled, heading down the hallway near the dressing rooms.

I knew that Nikki and Robbin were pretty much best friends, but them being together was trouble. Don't get me wrong, I loved Robbin; he was a nice dude and very talented, but he and Nikki always did something stupid, and I often had to clean up after them.

"Nikki!" I shouted, sticking my head into each room along the way to the back exit (I was honestly surprised that my head fit through the space of the cracked doors; my hair was teased out huge for the show tonight).

"God damn it! Where could that man be?"  I though to myself.

Thinking that I heard someone walking behind me, I turned around to see no one. I shrugged, thinking that it must have been a hollow spot in the floor, or the beading on my costume shaking around.

"Nikki," I called again, still receiving no answer.

I groaned as I reached the end of the hall and decided to walk back and look in the green room again; maybe he was back. I really loved the guy, but I hated babysitting him.

"Ni-" I cut myself off as I saw Fred walk by. "Fred!" I yelled.

"What's up, Sadie?"

"Where's Nikki?" I asked as I stepped closer to him.

"Uh, I don't know," he lied.

"Don't fucking lie to me, Saunders," I threatened, grabbing him by the front of his shirt.

"I don't know," he mumbled, still not convincing me at all.

"Oh, really?" I asked, grabbing his walkie-talkie. "What's the twenty on six?" I asked, using their code.

"He's at the one-o-one with Robbin. They've got a hundred," a voice responded.

"Fuck," I groaned to myself. "Tell six that he needs to forget the one hundred and get his ass to the one twenty nine, right now," I demanded angrily.

"You got it," the voice replied.

Great; he was at the hotel with Robbin, and they were doing coke. Lovely. He needed to be at the gig ten minutes ago-what was he thinking?!

"Was that so damn hard?" I asked, tossing Fred his walkie.

"I guess not," he said with a shrug.

"Would have been easier if you had just told me," I snapped as I walked back to the green room with great irritation.

"I was told not to tell you-"

"Fuck you, Fred."

"Nikki knows you don't like him using drugs," he said, attempting to justify his 'secrecy.'

"Yet he does it anyway," I muttered, throwing my hands up.

"Sadie," Tommy called, jogging over to me, "Did you find Nikki?"

"Yeah, he and Robbin are busy powdering their noses at the hotel," I informed, rolling my eyes so hard that it almost hurt.

"Well, shit! That son of a bitch," Tom grumbled. "Guns is just about to get off," he yelled, his eyes wide. "We're running late."

"I'll fix it," I said brushing past him.

I waved my arms at side stage, grabbing Slash's attention. I tried to signal to him to keep things rolling, but he only looked confused. Signalling to Duff, he went back to ignoring me as he played.

Duff, knowing something was going on, quickly made his way over.

"What's wrong?" he shouted, furrowing his brow as he plucked at his bass from the side of the stage.

"Nikki's missing, you guys need to do another song," I yelled over the band.

He nodded and skipped back onto the stage. Once he made his way to Axl, he shared the message and he nodded just as the song ended.

"Well, well, well," Axl said into his microphone, his deep voice booming through the venue. "Looks like someone is a little behind, so we get to play another one for you guys," he purred.

He mouthed something to Steven, who nodded and began to drum the intro for Mr. Brownstone, and he was soon joined by the rest of the guys.

I had to laugh at the potential irony; Nikki and Robbing were probably dancing with Mr. Brownstone as well. I hated the idea, but I knew it was more than possible, and I was probably right.

I felt a hand grab my arm and pull me back.

"Sadie, where's Fred?" Tommy asked.

"I don't know," I replied, half honest.

"Come on, Sadie, I need an ace in the hole," he begged.

"No."

"You don't understa-"

"No. The last thing you need before a show is cocaine. No, Tommy," I said sternly, trying to walk away.

He stepped in front of me and tied again. "Sadie, a little krell isn't gonna hurt. I need it."

"It all adds up, T-Bone. No, I don't know where he went, so get over it."

I walked over to join the girls and I glared at him, hoping it could convince him to behave. Of course, Tommy being Tommy, he flipped me the bird and went around asking for coke. Soon, someone directed him to Fred and he disappeared into the hall way.

I looked back to the stage and felt my stress level skyrocket; the song was half way over and Nikki wasn't back.

"Nikki's on his way," Tommy said as he reentered the room, wiping at his nose.

"God damn it, Thomas!" I scolded. "You guys are supposed to-"

He put his big hand over my mouth and rolled his eyes, hoping I would get over it and stop acting like his (or sort of our) mother.

"They need to play another," he said, bouncing on his heels.

I pushed his hand away from my mouth and glared at him as I stomped toward the stage.

This time, I caught Axl's attention, and he already knew what to do, as he nodded when he saw me. Once Mr. Brownstone ended, he started his introduction into Rocket Queen, which was a huge help, being that the song was a bit longer than their others, and live they always drew it out to about ten minutes.

"You're gonna kill him, aren't you?" Mick asked, suddenly appearing beside me.

"Yup," I muttered back without taking my eyes off the stage. "You would think that because this is his, he of all people would be here on time."

"You would think," he agreed, taking another drink of his 'coke.'

"Mick, why don't you just drink it from the bottle? It's not like your drinking problem isn't obvious," I said. My luck being what it was, it didn't sound the way I meant it; it sounded harsh and mean. "I didn't mean for it to come out like that," I said quickly. "Nikki is stressing me the fuck out."

"Whatever, Sadie," he said irritably. "I know I have a problem and I don't need you on my ass, too," he grumbled before walking away.

"He's finally here!" Vince shouted triumphantly.

"About fucking time," I grumbled to myself before walking over to see him.

"Hey, baby," he purred when he saw me.

"Oh my God.... You're so fucked up," I said, almost horrified at how messed up his eyes were. "Jesus Christ, Nikki!"

"What?" he asked innocently, attempting to reach between my legs.

I took a deep breath and smacked him as hard as I could, hoping to slap him back into reality.

"What the hell was that for?!" he shouted, holding his cheek as his eyes watered.

"To clear your head," I said softly. "You'll thank me when Guns get off."

"They're not off yet?" he asked, gently rubbing his tingling, red cheek.

"No; they had to play two more songs because your stupid fucking self had to go get high with Robbin!"

"Hi!" Robbin yelled from across the room.

I waved, trying to be somewhat pleasant. I knew that it wasn't his fault; Nikki was the idiot who knew better.

"Get your fucking bass," I growled before walking over to the girls again, my hand stinging.