flashback - the day of the break up (chris' pov)

chris was currently sitting at the kitchen island, waiting for jamie to arrive. they were planning to have a movie night tonight, but chris was struggling on picking a movie. his initial plan was to watch 'tangled', as that was jamie's favorite movie, but he felt like that wasn't good enough. in his eyes, the perfect girl deserved the perfect movie date with the perfect movie.

IMESSAGE

chris owen
hi james
when will u be here

j belle
hey!
im ab to leave in like 20

chris owen
okay perfect
what do you want to watch?

j belle
ummmm
u can choose :)

chris owen
jamie stop you know im indecisive

j belle
have fun! see u soon!

chris owen
see you soon
i love you

j belle
love you more!

"you okay?" matt asked, walking into the kitchen. "you look a little stressed."

"just texting jamie." chris told him. "do you think 'tangled' is a good movie for tonight?"

"that's her favorite movie, is it not?" matt frowned. "when's she gonna be here, anyway?"

"like, twenty minutes." chris replied. he noticed matt's face flicker between his current expression and one that chris had never noticed before. "are you okay, matt?" he asked his brother. matt cleared his throat. 

"i'm fine. just some...girl stuff."

"girl stuff?" chris furrowed his eyebrows. matt always came to him when he had girl trouble. and he rarely ever had girl trouble.

"she's dating someone else. don't worry about it." matt shrugged it off. "just...have fun with james tonight." he said. chris noticed his somber expression and squinted at his brother. there was no possible way that matt's girl trouble had to do with jamie...right? 

"um..." chris didn't know how to respond. just then, his life360 notification went off, signaling that jamie had just left her house. "i'm gonna go meet her."

"right. you should go." matt motioned chris to leave. chris sighed and left the kitchen. he didn't like how it suddenly became so awkward with matt. it was never awkward with matt. chris sat down on the porch, thinking about his earlier interaction with jamie as he heard her car pull into the driveway. he stood up and his eyes instantly lit up when he saw her get out of the car.

"jamie!" he walked over to his girlfriend, planting a kiss onto her lips. "i missed you."

"you saw me yesterday." jamie smiled at him. 

"seventeen hours too long." chris shook his head. he remembered the reason he had texted her earlier. "also, i found a movie!" he grabbed her hand, taking her inside. matt walked out from the kitchen almost as soon as chris announced jamie's presence. chris noticed matt's expression shift completely when he saw jamie.

"hi james." matt greeted her. chris heard the faint sadness in his voice. almost...longing?

"you alright?" jamie asked him. chris watched as matt easily faked a smile.

"i'm okay. you two have fun." he said before walking up the stairs. chris look after him with a frown and he noticed jamie looking at him questioningly. 

"he's been off for the past couple days." he said. "i tried asking him what was wrong earlier, but he didn't give me a straight answer. something about the girl he likes dating someone else." 

"oh." jamie nodded. chris knew she didn't believe him, but he was grateful she didn't question him. "so, what movie did you choose?" she asked. a smile grew onto chris' face as he remembered the movie set-up he had upstairs.

"let's go." he took her hand, leading her toward his bedroom. jamie gasped when chris opened the door to his tray of popcorn, candy, and pepsi. 

"chris, oh my god." jamie beamed at him. "this is so cute." chris suddenly felt a lot better than he did earlier. however, the dread of what matt told him was still lingering.

"just wait 'till you see the movie." chris told her, pointing to his tv. he watched as jamie's jaw dropped.

"tangled." she squealed with excitement. chris grinned at her.

"it's your all time favorite movie." he explained. "i figured that since we both couldn't choose, we'll just watch one we both like."

"i'm going to start crying." jamie sat down on the bed, facing the tv. "chris, this is perfect." chris let out a sigh of relief that, thankfully, jamie didn't hear.

"what can i say? i'm just that great." he joked, sitting next to her. jamie shook her head.

"shut up." she laughed. chris smirked at her.

"kiss me and maybe i will." he said, boldly.

"you're so corny." jamie rolled her eyes before kissing chris on the lips. like every time she kisses him, chris felt like a million bucks. jamie never failed to make his stomach turn to butterflies. 

he truly loves her so much. 

"is that better?" jamie asked, pulling away.

"much better, thanks." chris smiled at her before picking up the remote. "are you ready to start?"

"oh, i'm always ready for 'tangled.'" jamie got comfortable, leaning her head into chris' chest. chris tried to focus, but his thoughts kept going back to the girl in his arms. he wanted more than anything to be with her forever. about halfway through the movie, chris gets up from the bed, telling her he was going to refill the popcorn.

"i'll be right back." he gave jamie a peck on the lips before leaving his room. while heating up some more popcorn in the microwave, chris' thoughts hummed with what matt was saying earlier, his moments with jamie, and how much it would hurt if he lost jamie. once he gathered the snacks, chris walked up the stairs, stopping at matt's bedroom first.

"chris?' matt asked as chris opened the door slightly. he was sitting at his desktop, his headphones on his head. "what's up, aren't you having a movie night?"

"you like her, don't you?" chris wasted no time asking the question. he watched intently as matt's breath hitched and he placed his headphones on his neck.

"chris..." matt started, but he stopped himself. chris inhaled. he knew he was right and he knew that matt wouldn't lie to him. chris weighed his options. did he really want his relationship with matt to be awkward because of a girl? specifically because of jamie? chris let out a breath before saying what he had been thinking for the last hour.

"if the girl you like is jamie and her dating me is the reason you've been so down lately, then i'll break up with her." he said, finally. matt stood up. 

"absolutely not. you're not breaking up with her." he stepped closer to chris. 

"but it's hurting you, matt. i can't date her knowing that my brother's in love with her." he replied. matt's eyes were starting to well up with tears as he shook his head. chris could tell he struck a nerve. 

"chris, i swear to god i'll kill you." matt let out a shaky breath, but regained his posture and cleared his throat. chris noticed how he didn't deny the claim about being in love with jamie. "don't put yourself through that on my account."

"matt, you can't just sit there and tell me that after what you told me earlier." chris raised his voice slightly. he regretted it as soon as he remembered that jamie was in the other room. "you're my brother. i have to do whatever it takes not to hurt you." he said the last line softly.

"but don't do this, chris." matt's voice was loud, matching chris' earlier tone. "is it really worth it? you love her more than anyone." chris winced.

"shut the fuck up, matt. she's literally in the other room."

"if you break up with her, then that would just make me even more upset." matt told him. chris shook his head. 

"then i'll live with that. i'd rather you being upset with me than being upset that i'm with the girl you love." chris said, his voice breaking. matt scoffed. 

"you're kidding." he guessed. "tell me you're fucking kidding." 

"you're more important to me than anyone, matt." chris sighed. "your happiness means more to me than my own."

"chris... please don't do it." matt was trying not to cry at this point. chris smiled at him weakly. 

"you're my best friend, matt." he replied before turning around. chris quickly wiped his eyes as he head to his room. he hoped that jamie hadn't heard his and matt's conversation. he opened the door, seeing that jamie was lost in thought, staring at the paused tv screen. as soon as he saw her expression, he knew that she had heard more than she should have.

"hey." chris called out to her, walking toward the bed. jamie's head snapped in his direction. "i brought the popcorn, plus some other snacks." he said, smiling at her. he saw jamie's expression become concerned as she noticed the fake smile.

"you okay?" she asked. chris nodded, sitting next to her on the bed. 

"just an argument with matt. i'll be fine." he lied. chris hated lying to her. he leaned over and kissed her on the lips again. "thank you for asking, though."

"of course." jamie smiled at him, softly. "wanna finish the movie?" she asked. chris really didn't want to, but he saw the hopeful gleam in jamie's eye and of course, he folded.

"yeah." he said, unpausing the movie. he tried to pay attention, but chris' mind was racing. he hated acting so dry toward jamie, but he couldn't help it. he had to end things with her before things with matt got really bad. chris was so lost in his thoughts that before he knew it, the movie was over and jamie was asleep on his shoulder. chris shook her gently.

"hey, james. the movie's done. do you want to stay the night?" he offered. he hated how he probably made her feel so helpless. he wanted to make it up to her. however, his expression faltered when he saw jamie hesitate. 

"um..."

"jamie? everything alright?" chris asked her. jamie looked at chris and nodded, giving him a small smile.

"yeah." she said, sitting up "i think i'll, um, head out. you and matt should sort out whatever you have going on." chris shook his head, feeling incredibly guilty. there was no way jamie didn't hear what went on outside matt's room. 

"j...matt and i are fine. we'll get through it. you can stay if you want." he pleaded. jamie sighed and looked at the bedroom door longingly.

"it's getting late, chris." she shook her head, getting up from the bed. "i have dad's car." chris knew that was a pathetic excuse, but he didn't want to argue with her. 

"at least let me walk you out." chris got up after her, feeling relieved when she didn't argue. when they got downstairs, chris finally noticed the rain outside. "it's pouring rain. jamie, you hate driving in the rain." he said, trying to convince her to stay. this time, jamie turned around. her expression was unreadable to chris, but he knew that this was not going to end well.

"chris, i'm not going to stay here if you're going to be upset the whole time." she told him. chris furrowed his eyebrows. did he really make her feel that uncomfortable that she would rather drive home in the rain than stay with him?

"what do you mean?" he asked, knowing perfectly well what jamie meant.

"something is bothering you and i know it has something to do with your argument with matt. you're obviously really upset about it and you're not telling me what's going on." she said. chris closed his eyes and inhaled. he was relieved that jamie didn't hear everything in his conversation with matt. however, the feeling of guilt was still there.

"jamie i really wish i could tell you." chris started. "but matt..."

"i get it." jamie cut in. "and i want you guys to sort it out. but i can't stay here if you're not going to talk to me." 

"i'm sorry." chris whispered, wanting more than anything to talk to jamie. but he knew he couldn't. letting out one final breath, chris started to say the words he'd been dreading all night. "jamie i really don't want to do this, but—"

"no. no, we're not doing this now." jamie shook her head. the disbelief in her voice nearly broke chris' heart into pieces. "chris, i swear—"

"jamie, listen." chris told her. "i love you. i really do. but i..." he trailed off, not wanting to words to come out of his mouth.

"chris." jamie's eyes were starting to water. chris hated seeing her cry. and what made it worse was that he was the one making her cry. "please don't." she pleaded.

"i have to." chris' voice cracked as he also held back tears. "i...i have to break up with you." 

the second he said those words, it was as if the world has stopped spinning. chris could have sworn his world ended right then and there. 

"no." jamie shook her head. "no you don't. tell me what's wrong, chris. i can help you. i can fix us. i can fix whatever is wrong." chris covered his mouth with his hand. he hated that he was making jamie feel like this. he hated that he was making her feel like she was the problem.

"no. oh my god, james, no. it's not you." chris tried to assure her. "it will never be you. you're perfect. you've been the perfect girlfriend. the best friend in the world. but i can't keep doing this. i can't..." his breath became ragged as he swallowed hard. he didn't have the heart to tell jamie about matt.

"you can't what?" hearing the pain in jamie's voice made chris want to take back everything he had just said, but he only shook his head.

"i can't tell you." chris whispered, the tears finally falling. he couldn't tell jamie that the reason he had just broken up with her was because his brother was in love with her, too. "i'm sorry." he assumed she wanted to leave, so he opened the door for her. jamie looked out at the pouring rain, letting out a quiet sob.

"i love you, chris." she, wiping her tears and walking out of the house. chris wanted more than anything to call her back and tell her that he loves her, too. but the damage was done. he looked away again.

"goodbye, jamie." he said as jamie ran toward her car. chris' eyes became blurry with tears as he shut the door and began walking back upstairs.

"chris?" nick walked out from the kitchen. he noticed the tears in his brothers eyes and gasped before rushing up the stairs toward him. "oh my god, are you okay?" he asked, giving his brother a hug.

"it's done, nick." chris said. "we're done."

"no, you're not." matt's voice was heard from the top of the stairs. chris looked at his brother, who held a face of disbelief and slight anger. 

"i was going to do it eventually. it just happened to be tonight."

"what are you talking about?" nick looked between the two of them. "chris, did you plan to break up with her?"

"of course, not!" chris defended. "not tonight, at least." he looked at matt again. "i'm going to my room." he said before exiting from nick's grip and walking up the stairs. matt stopped him before going up to his room. 

"i'm never going to forgive you for hurting her the way you did tonight, chris." matt told him. "but i also value your happiness before my own. i will get her back for you. i promise."

"no." chris shook his head. "it's too late, matt. we're done. me and jamie are done for good. and if staying with her meant that my relationship with you was strained, then it was worth it." he said before going into his room and shutting the door. 

taking one look at the empty popcorn bucket on his bed, chris felt like he was the shittiest person in the world. he turned off the tv and the lights and climbed into bed. picking up his phone, chris took one look at the lockscreen on his phone, which were lyrics to his favorite love song that he shared with jamie.

over and over, the only truth.
everything comes back to you.

and it was now that chris finally allowed himself to cry. his sobs echoed the quiet room as the events of what had just happened sunk in. jamie was gone. his jamie was gone. 

and it was all his fault.

maha speaks :)

sorry for the super late update!! it's exam season and also i forgot ab this book dont hate me LOL

but here's chris' pov as promised <3 and yes, we finally have the confirmation that matt is in love with jamie. #mattendgame (just kidding. maybe.)

AHAHAHAH i'm actually kidding. matt endgame when it's literally a chris book is insane actually. i just added this stuff for drama but dw it will get better