it's been almost a month and half since it all happened. since the kiss. since the fight. jamie's been avoiding chris and matt entirely. she doesn't spare a glance to chris during creative writing and art and she's started sitting away from matt in government & economics. she eats lunch with caroline on the other side of school and has only spoken to either of them if it's school related. 

jamie felt terrible. she caused it. she knew what the consequences were. she knew how mad chris would get. and she dragged matt along with her. the second she and matt pulled away from each other, a loud crack was heard as chris' fist made contact with matt's nose. jamie watched in horror as the two brothers fought. over her. she stood there helplessly for what seemed like forever until isaiah and tyson pulled the two apart. she couldn't stop thinking about their faces. the look of pure hatred on chris' face. the look of regret on matt's. it killed her knowing she was the reason the brothers never spoke. hell, she even got nick sucked right into the middle of it. she couldn't bare speaking to him, either. 

"hey, earth to jamie?" caroline waved her hand in front of her face from across the table. "you're spaced out, again."

"sorry." jamie mumbled. "i was thinking about, you know." she said. caroline sighed. 

"james, you have to let it go at some point. do you realize that matt's not even mad at you?"

"he isn't?" jamie's eyes went wide. she was fully convinced for the whole month of november that matt would never want to speak to her again. caroline rolled her eyes.

"you guys have been best friends since you were babies. sure, chris is still pissed, but chris is chris. he lowkey deserved it. matt's not mad at you because he agreed to it, jamie. it's just as much his fault as you think it's yours. and nick, well, he's just confused. he didn't know what was going on when they asked him to pick sides. he chose neutrality, obviously."

"i feel so bad, though." jamie said. "carol, they fought. matt and chris, who are literally the one pair of brothers you think would never fight, were punching each other. matt's nose was nearly broken."

"it was swollen for a week and a half." carol added. jamie glared at her.

"not helping."

"sorry."

"i just..." jamie sighed. "i wish i could take it all back. i wish that i never agreed to do that stupid plan with matt because it got in over my head and now everything's messed up."

"everything was already messed up, j." a voice said from behind them. jamie avoided nick's gaze as he sat down next to her. "everything has been messed up since chris and paris started going out. that's when it all fell apart between matt and chris."

"what do you mean?" jamie asked, finally looking up. she was relieved to see that nick wasn't mad at her. in fact, he had an expression of sympathy for her. 

"well..." caroline started. she looked at nick, who cleared his throat. 

"when chris told us that he started dating paris, um, matt got really mad."

"he did?" 

"yeah." nick explained. "he basically called paris out for being a shitty friend and he didn't talk to chris for almost a week."

"i..." jamie hesitated. "i didn't realize."

"are you kidding? yeah, he loves chris, but even matt can see when chris does something shitty and wrong. remember, he was the one who came up with the whole fake dating plan in the first place."

"so?" jamie asked. caroline rolled her eyes. 

"the point is, matt cares about you way more than you realize, j."

"i promise you," nick agreed. "he's far from mad. you need to talk to him."

"i will." jamie promised. "i'll talk to him. and i'm sorry for avoiding you, nick."

"don't be sorry." nick shrugged it off. "i would've done the same thing." he stood up, holding his hand out. "let's go join matt and zay."

"god bless, i missed sitting with you guys." caroline smiled and gathered her things. jamie took nick's hand.

"let's go."

+ + +

when the trio arrived at the usual lunch table, matt's eyes practically lit up when he saw jamie.

"james!" he exclaimed, jumping up from his seat to give his friend a hug. jamie smiled at him. 

"hi matt. i was actually hoping we could talk? the bell rings in a few minutes, but...."

"i don't care if i'm late to chem." matt replied, instantly. "i've been meaning to talk to you, too."

"okay." jamie led him away from the table, toward the corner of the building, near the vending machines. "you can go first." she told matt as soon as stopped. matt nodded and took a breath. 

"i just, um, wanted to say sorry." he said. jamie furrowed her eyebrows. 

"sorry? what for? if anything, i'm the one that needs to apologize. i shouldn't have asked you to kiss me, especially since your brother—"

"no, jamie, i don't care about the kiss. i mean, i do, but that's not just what i'm apologizing for. that whole thing happened because i came up with that stupid plan in the first place. i knew what was going to happen if chris got too riled up, but i told you anyway. and i kissed you because, i don't know, you looked so hurt and so desperate, i felt angry. i wanted chris to feel the way you felt, so i just went for it without really thinking."

"i wasn't really thinking, either." jamie replied, her voice soft. "god, i feel so bad, matt. you and chris have never fought that bad before and—"

"it was only a matter of time." matt said. "things have been tense between me and chris ever since he started dating paris. i should've told you about us sooner, but i didn't want you to get worried. it's okay."

"but it's not okay, matt." jamie asked. "you ruined your relationship with chris over something so stupid."

"jamie, i meant what i said when i kissed you. it was just that once." matt said. "i can talk things out with chris. we're brothers. but you are so far from a stupid reason to fight. he hurt you in a way no on can imagine."

"i know." jamie mumbled. "i just— i thought i was over him, you know? and then he just..."

"i get it." matt nodded. "i really do. and for the record," jamie swore she noticed a twinge of hesitation before his next sentence. "chris, well, he isn't exactly over you, either."

"he isn't?" jamie asked. matt shook his head and let out a dry chuckle.

"why do you think he punched me? he's jealous as fuck."

"yeah..." jamie trailed off. "you know, i haven't even spoken to him in art since the whole thing. i've just started sitting at a different table."

"talk to him." matt told her. "that's the only way to find out what he's really thinking."

"i will." jamie bit her lip nervously. "but what if he doesn't hear me out?" matt shook his head. 

"he will. trust me."

maha speaks :)

i missed u guys hey