the many musings of a Lupin

"We could start with Remus and Tonks all the way to Harry and Ginny" Ron said thoughtfully.

"Sure. I'll go, then Ron, then Hermione, then Harry and back around" George said.

Everyone nods. Remus says "first, how are you all going to get back. As enjoyable this is, yall can't stay here forever".

"I talked to Kingsley, Percy, and Draco" Hermione started.

She was interrupted by a series of cries "MALFOY" "FERRET".

"Yes. Believe it or not Draco and all of us became civil" Ron said truthfully.

"Whyy" Harry asked.

"We have our reasons" Harry said "this is war you either burn bridges or build a new one. Draco Malfoy was indead a Death eater, but he didn't want to be one".

"How can we believe that. The little ferret was always quick to be dark" Ron said bitterly.

"I don't like him either, but he saved our necks and we saved his" Hermione said.

"Draco Malfoy was brain washed at a very young age. His father gave him 2 choices either become a Death eater or his mom dies" Ron said "he grew up. Yes he is still a spoiled git, but nowhere near as bad".

"As I was saying" Hermione said "we worked it all out. Draco went back to Malfoy manor to find his father's old time turner, he gave it to us to come here, so between Kingsley, Percy, and Draco they'll work on a time turner to go back and forth".

"So let me get this straight" Fred said "the gi... I mean Malfoy gave yall his father's time turner to come here and is helping out to make a time turner to go forward and backward".

"Yes" Harry said "Draco gave it to us because he knows James is here and hes a parent himself so he knows if this happened to him one of us would give him a time turner to get his kid".

"Whoa" Arthur says "it's nice to know everyone grows up".

"Ok! Let's hear how everyone ended up with who they married" Tonks Said excited.

George grins "I don't know much, but I do know Remus and Tonks get together at the end of June and have a small wedding a month later".

"Why so soon" Sirius said.

"Because, back then you didn't know if you'll die the next day so it was easier to just get things done fast. Anyways, Remus was in denial for a long time, Tonks kept telling him that his furry problem and age didn't matter to her...it wasn't until after Dumbledore died that he started opening up...oh it wasn't until she got pregnant that he started freaking out again".

"Harry put him back in his place though" Ron said shrugging his shoulders some.

"What did he do" Sirius asked.

Remus went red "please tell me I didn't do anything stupid".

"You did" Harry said "but I may of snapped at you over it".

"Ok I know we are talking about how everyone got together, but now I'm curious. What happened" Ginny asked.

Hermione says "we'll show the memory just know Ron, Harry, and I skipped 7th year to bring Voldemort down. Also know Remus didn't mean to sound like a asshole he was only scared".

"Yeah, I can show the memory" Harry said "but just for good measures I'll also show the memory of the day Ted was born, and how excited he was".

(Part of Harry Potter and the deathly Hallows)

(A/n: not all parts are in the book).

"Can you confide in me what the mission is?"

Harry looked into the prematurely lined face, framed in thick but graying hair, and wished he could return a different answer.

"I can't, Remus, I'm sorry. If Dumbledore didn't tell you I don't think i can."

"I thought you'll say that," said Lupin, looking disappointed. "But I might still be of some use to you. You know what I am and what I can do. I could come with you to provide protection. There would be no need to tell me exactly what you were up to."

Harry hesitated. It was a very tempting offer, though how they would be able to keep their mission secret from Lupin if he were with them all the time he could not imagine.

Hermione, however, looked puzzled.

"But what about Tonks?" She asked.

"What about her?" Said Lupin.

"Well," Hermione said frowning, "you're married! How does she feel about you going away with us?"

"Tonks will be perfectly safe," said Lupin. "She'll be at her parents' house."

There was something strange in lupin's tone; it was almost cold. There was also something odd in the idea of Tonks remaining hidden at her parents' house; she was, after all, a member of the order and, as far as Harry knew, was likely to want to be in the thick of the action.

"Remus," Hermione said tentatively, "is everything alright. . . . you know. . . . between you and ---"

"Everything is fine, thank you," said Lupin pointedly.

Hermione turned pink. There was another pause, an awkward and embarrassed one, and then Lupin said with an air of forcing himself to admit something unpleasant, "Tonks is going to have a baby."

"Oh, how wonderful!" Squealed Hermione.

"Excellent!" Said Ron enthusiastically.

"Congratulations," said Harry.

Lupin gave a artificial smile that was more like a grimace, then said, "so. . . . do you accept my offer? Will three become four? I cannot believe that Dumbledore would have disapproved, he appointed me your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, after all. And I must tell you that I believe that we are facing magic many of us have never encountered or imagined."

Ron and Hermione both looked at Harry.

"Just-- just to be clear," he said. "You want to leave Tonks at her parents' house and come away with us?"

"She'll be perfectly safe there, they'll look after her," said Lupin. He spoke with a finality bordering on indifference. "Harry I'm sure James would have wanted me to stick to you."

"Well," said Harry slowly, "I'm not. I'm pretty sure my father would have wanted to know why you aren't sticking to your own kid, actually."

Lupin's face drained of color. The temperature in the kitchen might have dropped ten degrees. Ron stared around the room as though he had been hidden to memorize it, while Hermione's eyes swiveled backward and forward from Harry to Lupin.

"You don't understand," said Lupin at last.

"Explain, then," said Harry.

Lupin swallowed.

"I--- made a mistake in marrying Tonks. I did it against my better judgement and I have regretted it very much since."

"I see," said Harry, "so you're just going to dump her and the kid and run off with us?"

Lupin sprang to his feet: His chair toppled over backward, and he glared at them so fiercely that Harry saw, for the first time ever, the shadow of the wolf upon his human face.

"Don't you understand what I've done to my wife and my unborn child? I should have never married her, I've made her an outcast!"

Lupin kicked aside the chair he had overturned.

"You have only ever seen me amongst the order or under Dumbledore's protection at Hogwarts! You don't know how most of the wizarding world sees creatures like me! When they know my affliction, they can barely talk to me! Don't you see what I've done? Even her own family is disgusted by our marriage, what parents want their only daughter to marry a werewolf? And the child--the child--"

Lupin actually seized handfuls of his own hair; he looked quite deranged.

"My kind don't usually breed! It will be like me, I am convinced of it-- how can I forgive myself, when I knowingly risked passing on my own condition to an innocent child? And if, by some miracle, it is not like me, then it will be better off, a hundred times so, without a father of whom it must always be ashamed!"

"Remus!" Whisperd Hermione, tears in her eyes. "Don't say that-- how can any child be ashamed of you?"

"OH, I don't know, Hermione," said Harry. "I'd be pretty ashamed of him."

Harry didn't know if his rage was from his own parents being dead, or his baby who died late December, but it had propelled him to his feet too. Lupin looked as though Harry has hit him.

"If the new regime Muggle-borns are bad," Harry said, "what will they do with a half-werewolf whose father's in the order? My father died trying to protect my mother and me, and you reckon he'd tell you to abandon your kid to go on an adventure with us?"

"How-- how dare you?" Said Lupin. "This is not a desire for-- for danger or personal glory-- how dare you suggest such a--"

"I think you're feeling a bit of a daredevil," Harry said. "You fancy stepping into sirius's shoes--"

"Harry, no!" Hermione begged him, but he continued to glare into lupin's livid face.

"I'd never had believed this," Harry said. "The man who taught me to fight dementors-- a coward."

"I am not a coward," Lupin said raising his voice.

"If you're not a coward then go! Go home to your wife and child. You say I don't understand. . . . how the hell do you think I felt last year?" Lupin tries to say something. "NO. I know damn well how you feel, how do you think i felt. I had to libe with thinking my daughter will hate me, think of me as weak because I was raped and couldn't defend myself!"

The memory ended.

"Idiot" both Molly and Tonks said hitting the back of his head.

Remus rubs his head wincing "I deserved that" he looks at harry "im sorry for my future selfs actions".

"Its fine" Harry said playing another memory.

(Part of Harry Potter and the deathly Hallows).

There was a bang on the front door. Everyone's head turned torward it. Fleur came running out of the kitchen, looking frightened; Bill jumped to his feet, his wand pointing at the door; Harry, Ron, and Hermione did the same. Silently Griphook slipped beneath the table, out of sight.

"Who is it?" Bill called.

"It is I, Remus John Lupin!" Called a voice over the howling wind. Harry experienced a thrill of fear; what had happened? "I am a werewolf, married to Nymphadora Tonks, and you, the secret-keeper of Shell cottage, told me the address and bade me come in an emergency!"

"Lupin," muttered Bill, and he ran to the door and wrenched it open.

Lupin fell over the threshold. He was white-faced, wrapped in a traveling cloak, his graying hair windswept. He straightened up, looked around the room, making sure of who was there, then he cried aloud, "it's a boy! We've named him Ted, after Dora' S father!"

Hermione shrieked.

"Wha-- ? Tonks-- Tonks has had the baby?"

"Yes, yes she's had the baby!" Shouted Lupin. All around the table came cries of delight, sighs of relief: Hermione and Fleur both squealed, "Congratulations!" And Ron said, "Blimey, a baby!" As if he had never heard of such a thing before.

"Yes-- yes-- a boy," said Lupin again, who seemed dazed by Shi own happiness. He strode around the table and hugged Harry; the scene in the basement of Grimmauld place might never have happened.

"You'll be godfather?" He said as he realeasd Harry.

"M-me?" Stammered Harry.

"You, yes, of course-- Dora quite agrees, no one better--"

"I-- yeah-- Blimey--"

Harry felt overwhelmed, astonished, delighted; now Bill was hurrying to fetch wine, and Fleur was persuading Lupin to join them for a drink.

"I can't stay long, I must get back," said Lupin, beaming around at them all: He looked years younger than Harry had ever seen him. "Thank you, thank you, Bill."

Bill had soon filled all of their goblets, they stood and raised them high in a toast.

"To Teddy Remus Lupin," said Lupin, "a great wizard in the making!"

End of memory all the girls say "aww".

End of chapter

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