Gary turns the radio up and applies a little more pressure to the gas pedal. The world blows by outside the cab of his pickup, but he doesn't notice it. He doesn't think about anything. His mind won't stop thinking about all the what ifs. Close friends, not even best friends, describes the relationship he and Peter have. No, brothers comes much closer to describing it.

When Gary went to college he met Peter. They hit it off almost instantly and Gary often had hot meals and game nights with Peter and his family. His mother became like Gary's own as did the Marshall Family Ranch. For some time Gary new it like the back of his hand, but now everything clouds together into memories of Peter's jokes and crazy stunts.

That is until his mind plays over the way he left Fort Stockton, Texas. The way he brushed Brooke off stabs his heart and causes him to sigh heavily. He tries telling himself that he will call her later, but it continues to eat him up. Finally he quits fighting the urge and pulls over on the side of the road. Dialing Brooke's number he takes a deep breath and drums his fingers on the steering wheel.

After six grueling rings a timid yet surprised "Hello," comes from the other end of the phone line.

He jumps as though someone has jabbed him with a hot shot. "Hey, Brooke, I'm sorry I left in such a rush. I'm sorry."

Her voice perks up a little as she speaks, "Gary, it's okay. I know you were shaken up. How's your friend?"

Sighing a bit at the lack of information he has he finds himself rubbing his free hand over his face gruffly. "Ah, I wish I could give you an answer, but I'm not there yet. I wanted to call you and tell you I am thinking about you all the time and I wondered if you would wait for me until I come back." His voice cracks at the word 'wait'. A long brutal pause meets his ears once the words are out of his mouth.

Finally her sweet voice comes through the line, but it is so soft that he can barely hear it. "You have no idea how upset and confused I was when you left without saying as much as you the fact that you may or may not have enjoyed the time that we have talked. For you to say this is like someone swept me up onto cloud nine. Yes, I will wait for you. But. Gary Maxwell, you need to get off the phone with me and get back on the road!"

The breath he didn't know he was holding in releases through his slightly parted lips. "Thank you Miss Brooke and I think I can follow those instructions."

"Great! Now drop the Miss and the phone and put the lead on the pedal!"

He grins widely. "Yes ma'am! Hey, I'll call you once I know something."

"Good. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay, bye Brooke."

Even though the news she gave him was great his heart is still unsettled. He has an aching for something- someone. Instead of putting the pickup in gear he puts a Bethel Music CD in and lets the calming, soothing words sink in.

Tears begin to pour down his cheeks and he begins to mutter his feeling and thoughts to the Lord, "Father, I don't know why you have taken Peter from us in such a way. Or a way at all, but You always have a beautiful plan in mind." His hands cover his face as he begins to cry out, "Help me! I can't do it without You. I need You to be my strenght. Father, fight this bitterness and anger inside me. I have so many questions I want to ask You, so many things I need direction on, but for now just help me to feel you."
***

Brooke can't help the grin on her face as she steps out of her room after getting off the phone. She drums her fingers on the counter as she strolls to the fridge for a glass of sweet tea. Holding up her finger to Jaelyn, who sits at the bar, she says, "Before you ask, no I am not from the south."

Jaelyn laughs. "Maybe, you aren't, but you are from the in love land!" She draws the words 'in love' out.

Brooke rolls her eyes heavily and swats her hand in the air. "Oh, please! I'm not in love. I am only very happy and possibly maybe a little bit excited."

"All of those words to describe supposedly how little you are excited tells me that you are absolutely bursting with it. Girl, you better spill."

Settling into a stool next to her friend Brooke's grin remains on her lips. "Is it back for me to be so happy when Gary's best friend is possibly dying?"

Jaelyn grins and shakes her head while her hands rest on her bulging belly. "I don't think so and I'll tell you while. One, because you don't know the guy, but more importantly is two, I suspect that you just got some really good news."

"Well when you put it that way it makes me feel a bit better, but I think I need to go spend a while with my prayer journal. You can turn on the TV, watch whatever you want, or grab you a snack. In other words act like you are me if Jeremiah comes in from mom and dad's."

Laughing Jaelyn eases from the stool and onto her aching feet. "Well, since my hubby had to go check up on an old lady's poodle," she rolls her eyes, "I think I will prop up my feet and catch me some Zs. You go on and have your prayer time."

"Thanks Jae!" Stepping into her room she settles into fluffy bean bag chair and pulls the thick leather bound journal from the shelf. Opening it to the first page she reads the first prayer she scrolled on the white pages.

Father, you know that my heart desires a romantic relationship, but you tell us to voice our wants to you. More than that I, now, want you to fill my heart with wholeness. Just you nothing else.

A broad smile rests on her lips. After surrendering her heart to the Lord three years ago Brooke now feels fuller than she ever thought she could feel. Flipping to the new clean page towards the back she takes up the pink inked pen and starts to speedily pour her thoughts out.

Father, I thank you for placing a strong Christian man in my life, like Gary. I am so caught up in his words that I didn't even think about the fact that he must be heartbroken inside. Lord Jesus, you always answer prayers, just not always in the way we think you should. I pray that you will give Peter's family peace and heal him. Thank you for always fulfilling your promises. I love you, Lord. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Her fingers rub over the words she just scrolled onto the paper as her eyes are closed and her heart is in awe of God. Breathing in a deep breath she smiles and lets her eye lids flutter open. Two words bounce around in her mind, much better.

After a few minutes of just letting the time pass she steps out into the kitchen and grabs herself a bottle of water. As she passes the couch she can't help but smiling at her momma-to-be friend. However, the story on the TV quickly catches her attention.
***

Gary pulls in the hospital parking lot as dusk has just started to set in. The bright lights of the emergency room drive through and tall poles in the parking lot take away the beauty of the sun set that is to come. Gary can't help shaking his head. The city has never been his favorite place to be and this only reminds him of one reason why. 

"Help me to feel you, Father God."

Mustering up the courage he steps out of his pickup and slams the door behind him. The headlights blink behind him as he presses the lock button on his keys. The ground seems to start spinning the moment he steps through the hospital doors.

"How can I help you?" A sweet, almost too sweet of a voice says.

Gary can hardly believe his ears and doesn't dare turn his head to face the nightmare he knows is before him. Taking a deep breath he slowly turns with a forced smile on his face. "Janet, I didn't expect to see you here."

The sickly thin prissy girl's eyes grow wide and her hand shoots to her chest. "Why would you say that, Gary Maxwell?" Her voice is so high pitched it hurts his ears. "I loved Peter, even if he didn't love me back."

His mouth starts to spew words out, but he quickly snaps it shut and strolls over to an empty chair. Desperately, he tries to shove painful memories out of his mind, but it just seems like they are super glued to his thoughts.

Peter pounds his fists on the dash of Gary's pickup. Dust clouds loom behind them as the tires eat up the dirt roads. The summer before the second year in college is suppose to be when you have tons of fun with your friends and be that kid inside you when you are with them and then being a man when you are with your family, right?

"Why did she do this to me? I should have noticed this long ago!" Once again Peter rakes his hands through his hair.

Gary glances over at his friend and grimaces. Only once before has he seen him in this rough of shape and both now and then he has no idea what to say or do. One, because he should put his friend above his friendship and said more about the things that he saw. "Man, I know she hurt you, but you can't carry this with you, because then she wins. You don't want to let her win. I know that much."

"Maybe. Now let's get out of here, we are waisting time!"

His memory is gladly interrupted when Carol settles in the chair beside him. Quickly he wraps his arms silently around her.

"I am so glad you are here. You have no idea how much it means to me."

Smiling he gently squeezes her hand. "Of course. How is he?"

She takes a deep breath and nods slightly. "He is in ICU and has internal bleeding. The doctors are hoping that some scan they are doing will tell them where internally he is bleeding and how serious it is." There is a long pause where neither says nothing, just letting the news fully sink in. "Peter always told me, since the time he was a little boy and watched his brother suffer through kidney failure, that he didn't want to suffer or hold on any longer than he has to when it comes his time." A small smile rests on her lips as she says the next few words, "He would say, I know where I'm going and I'm ready to meet my Savior when He is."

Gary roughly brushes the tears away from his cheeks. The faith his dear friend has and lives out is mountain moving and inspiring. It has always been something that draws people to want to know Peter's story. His faith, even after the terrible things he has been through, is something Gary has always marveled at. Peter has lived out 'be the light and salt of the world' more than anyone Gary has ever known. Finally, he clears his throat and speaks, "Peter has reached more people through his faith than most preachers do proclaiming the word. I know this is one of the hardest things you have ever faced, but I will be here every step of the way no matter what happens."

"Thank you, Gary. I think I'm going to freshen up a bit."

No more has Carol stepped around the corner than Janet sits in the chair next to him and places her hand on his knee. As politely as possible he removes it.

"I'm so sorry you are having to go through this all by yourself. Just know if you need something or someone to take your mind off of it I'm always here." The lustful look in her eyes and the not-so-innocent smile on her face disgusts him deeply.

Lord Jesus, David's words in Psalms 141:3 couldn't be truer right now. Please set a guard over my lips Oh Lord and keep watch over the doors of my mouth. He prays silently.

A/N
Sorry this wasn't out last week!!

Was it worth the wait? 😜