Yui pov

Something felt weird..

“Hey senjiro, I may head home, it's getting quite late.. Sorry” I said, he was a bit surprised, “Yeah no of course, wanna hang out on Saturday then?”

I nodded, “I'm gonna bike home now, ah, bye bye!”

I started biking home as fast as I could.. I was worried- really worried-

The second I got in, I slammed the door open..

Silence..

Pure silence..

It was weird.. It was really weird..

Something was off.. Something was wrong..

“Mui..?” I spoke..

“Mui..?!” I yelled.. No response..

Oh no… fuck.. What's happened-?

I sprinted up the stairs as fast as possible

“Mui?!” I yelled, I twisted the doorknob to our room.. Locked..

“Fuck, mui let me in!” I banged, panic was settling in.. The fuck happened to him..?!

I remembered the upper moons.. They'd kick the corner of the door and it immediately unlocked..

I did exactly that..

It worked- I opened the door and looked in

“Mui-?!” I said, immediately seeing him curled up.. Head in hands, one hand covering his mouth and nose.. Assuming that's so he couldn't be heard..

“Oh my god.. Why didn't you answer..?!” I asked angrily.. But it wasn't the time to be angry with him..

I crouched down next to him, “Mui what's happened..? Are you okay?”

I saw him look down even more.. Not responding..

“Mui? Don't ignore me” I said sternly

There was a silence..

“W-Why am I still alive..?”

My heart shattered, dropped to my stomach..

“Hey, Mui, no, get that shit out of your head-” I said, he dropped his head

“I don't matter.. Why am I still here..?”

I've never seen him this low.. He was drained.. So drained..

“Mui, you do matter, seriously..” “I don't.. Why was I born..? Why couldn't someone else be born in my body… someone who's talented.. Useful.. Strong..? Why am I here? If I wasn't alive.. Maybe everything would be better..?”

Jesus Christ mui..

“No, are you kidding me? You're so goddamn talented, you really are- you have meaning, an-” “I'm not.. I'm fucking ugly.. Useless.. I get shitty grades.. Everyone thinks so..” “I don't” “yes.. You do..”

“I don't, what about genya? He doesn't, tanjiro, aoi, all those guys?”

“... I'm not good enough for any of them.. All I do is make genya look bad…” “he looks bad anyway” I tried joking.. But.. It really wasn't the best time for that

“Sorry” I replied, mui looked away,

He was silent again..

“I just.. I hate it.. I have nothing to give.. With this stupid haircut.. And my body, I look like shit.. I'm useless..” “No you aren't- you look amazing, just because you aren't used to short hair.. Doesn't mean you're ugly- what I said about your body was wrong, I wasn't making it in that way, alright? I've discussed this”

“See..? People always say it's my fault.. That I took something wrong.. So I'm useless.. I can't understand that you were saying the wrong thing on accident.. I just.”

He sighed..

“I have no purpose..”

It felt like someone was cutting into my stomach.. Scrunching up my heart.. Everything he said about himself hurt.. It hurt me for not being able to save him from these thoughts..

“Where's this even come from..?” I asked, he just stared..

“Koku… He told me I didn't deserve to live.. I'm talentless.. That you're better.. That my parents shouldn't have given me life.. That I shouldn't be here… horrible other things.. And he's right…” he told me in a deranged tone..

“Oh I am going to kill that bitch..” I said, he looked at me worried..

“Just- come here..” I said, and held my arms out, he slowly got our of his ball.. And flipped into me.. Immediately sobbing

“I'm so sorry.. I wish you didn't go through any of this.. I wish you were in a happy and healthy family..” I told him, rubbing his back as he continues to sob..

It was heartbreaking.. I never wanted this.. I always wished he'd be a happy kid..

He can't remember mama.. Or dad.. So.. All he's ever known is.. Abuse.. A abuse, torture.. And horrible standards.. And I'm tired of seeing his ego brought down, crushed like paper, and torn to shreds..

“... We will.. We'll survive.. We'll get out of here someday.. I promise..”