Chapter Sixteen (Some Thousand Years Later)

The Source sent unto me a dream of great importance... and great sorrow.

A dream that came too late for me to act upon it, for the action had already taken place.

I dreamt of a beautiful female. She was tall with long black hair coiled into fat loose curls that cascaded down her back like an inky waterfall. Her bronze skin glowed with perfection, flawless right down to her toes and fingers. Her eyes were like pools of crystal water. And in her arms, she cradled an infant. A tiny creature, so tiny that I could not bear the idea of holding such a thing of fragility. He was sleeping in his mother's arms, his head dusted with black hairs, his thumb planted in his mouth.

This was a goddess. I was unsure how I knew such a thing, but I knew it. And the babe in her arms was a god... A god of great power. That such a tiny thing could contain so much incredible power was mind-boggling to me.

And I watched in fascination as the image faded, as the mother turned a circle, and as she came back around to face me, her babe had aged a year. His black hair was soft and fine, reaching his ears now, and his eyes opened to reveal eyes just like his mother's. The same shape, the same color. In fact, I'd say he was looking more and more like his mother as the days dragged on.

Until I looked upon the mother, and I watched her brilliant proud smile beginning to fade. Fear glowed in her eyes, worry lines marring her young beauty. She held the babe closer, and the babe wept, and she sang a soft beautiful lullaby.

She turned once more, and the babe was older, but still she held him in her arms, this time against her shoulder, one arm supporting his weight and the other wrapped tightly around him, her eyes watching the fog around us with clear fear and paranoia. They darted, locked on everything. Her stress and her agony was beginning to show upon her face. In her arms, the babe had longer hair, as black as the night, his blue eyes watching the world around him with utter fascination, his thumb still stuck between his lips.

She turned again, and the babe was now a toddler. Still small, still preciously cute, still innocent. The mother was distraught now, her arms squeezing her child, her eyes screwed shut as tears flowed own her cheeks, her breath coming in soundless sobs.

She turned again, and again, and again.

And the final time she turned, the child was no longer in her arms and she collapsed to her knees, throwing her head back and screaming in outrage, in raw agony. Tears streaked her face, her empty arms falling open at her sides as she wailed a sound so horrible that I felt as if my heart were breaking all over again. I reached up to clutch my chest, watching as the mother fell upon her side and wept, curling in on herself.

And the image spun in a tight circle before me, and the mother vanished, and was replaced with the child. He stood across from me, in this foggy emptiness of my dream. His long black hair fell to his shoulders, his blue eyes staring directly at me. He wore a child's black cloak, a matching tunic beneath, and the jewelry of a well pampered child.

And before my eyes, he began to age. His body stretched and pulled into that of a man's, his muscles filling out in between bouts of extreme starvation. His hair steadily grew down his back, growing short for only a brief period before once again beginning its descent down his back. His skin darkened over time, having already started with a rich shade of caramel, now darkened by hours in the sun... and becoming viciously marred with scars. As time dragged on, more and more of them spread across him until he was nothing, but a road-map of misery. One even sliced through his left eye, turning it from clear blue to milky white. And with his physical changes, so too came the emotional ones so clear on his face.

It began with the confused childlike expression, melting into one of agony, and slowly over time, that expression became harder and harder, colder and merciless. It was truly frightening to watch that infant of such sweet innocence slowly become cold and hateful.

And before my very eyes, he turned into a beast. His fangs elongated as he parted his lips to growl, his eyes darkening until they were a shade of blood red, and his fingernails pulled into claws. It was as if I was seeing my brother all over again in this monstrosity.

He threw his head back and roared, breathing hard afterwards and pinning me with a look of feral hunger, as if he would relish ripping into my flesh.

And abruptly, he changed. He threw his head back again, but this time not to roar, but to cry out as he fell to his knees. I watched him crumble, falling to his side, gasping hard as if he were in extreme agony.

And he wept.

Tears poured down his face and sobs wracked his massive body. I was stunned to see a creature so massive, so powerful, and so innately evil begin to weep as if he were once again a child. He was broken and battered, bruised and bloodied. It was only then, watching him weep, that I felt his pain. It was a raw powerful sensation that nearly drove me to my knees, and I was unsure of what strength kept me standing.

He was misery incarnate.

Source help him for I could do nothing, but watch him wallow in his misery as he wept and pleaded for death. He curled in so tight that he appeared to be disappearing... and he did, a moment later after I had merely blinked. He was gone.

I sucked in a sharp breath, wondering if the poor creature had taken his own life, or had been killed by another.

Wait, no.

I watched in fascination as he returned, coming from the fog, but this time he walked with a sure confidence, his eyes glinting with power and strength and knowledge. At his side walked a heavenly creature, surreal in his beauty, delicate and fragile even, yet there was a strut to his movement that told another story. This creature was his polar opposite in appearance, with long white blonde hair that fell to his waist, with eyes the color of sapphires, skin the color of cream. And while the warrior wore a suit of armor the likes of which I'd never seen, the creature at his side wore a delicate white cloak that trailed along behind him.

And it was then my eyes fell upon their hands. Locked together.

I met their eyes now, as they had stopped their walk just a couple feet before me.

"Who are you?" I asked. The warrior did not speak, simply stared at me, and the angelic creature smiled.

"You'll meet us someday," he said, his voice a surprisingly deep purr I had not been expecting, and he reached out with his free hand to lay his palm against my cheek and I froze at the sensation, "Don't lose hope, Joxeia. We'll help you." The warrior nodded now, meeting my eyes straight on.

"We're here to remind you that everything is going to be okay." His voice was practically a growl, as deep as his partner's, yet not quite as pleasant, hoarse almost as if he'd been screaming his whole life.

"How can you say that," I murmured, studying the scars marring his face, "How can you be here? At this point? How can you have any sort of hope or faith?" The warrior and the angel met eyes. There was an incredible warmth, a powerful radiance in their stare. I held my breath as a wave of power swept over me, tingled my insides, burned my blackened soul.

"Because we are Love," the angel said, turning to look at me now with a bright smile, "Because we are what Love is meant to be."

"We are Love in its purest form," the warrior agreed. I stared between them, fascinated at this scene, fascinated by their strength. I could feel it heating the air, could feel it pulsing as if it had become as powerful as the Source, and I swallowed hard.

"You lost hope at one time," I reminded the warrior. He wasn't angered by the reminder. He simply nodded.

"We all lose hope at one point," he replied, then frowned, "But it returned unto me when I found Love."

"And he found it in more than one place," a female's voice said, making me blink and turn my head to see the mother from the beginning of the dream come forth, wearing a long flowing black gown. She came to stand beside the warrior, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze. She smiled at him, and he smiled at her, then at his angel before he looked at me.

"You will find love," he replied, "Do not give up on it now. Life is going to really fuck you up, but you'll make it."

"How do you know?"

"Because from where I'm from, you already have," he answered.

And the dream was finished.

I woke up the next morning with a soft gasp, staring up at the sky overhead. It was the edge of dawn, the stars still twinkling in the velvet darkness of night while the sun reached its peachy glow across the horizon to cover them like a blanket. The shadows of bare trees crept up along the vast expanse of grass, a cool morning breeze sliding through the forest to brush my hair across my face.

I didn't move, still overwhelmed by the dream and the feeling it gave me. I sucked in a deep breath for the first time... in a very long time.

It'd been quite a while since the Great War had ended.

Since then, Atlan had vanished. Rumor had it he led his own pantheon of gods now, in a realm he continued to call Atlantis. The other creatures, too, had moved on. Several broke off and began their own pantheons, created their own creatures, mortals and immortals alike. The former paradise realm had been completely abandoned, and I refused to return.

Satanika had left, or was it more appropriate to say that I had left her? Probably the latter. From what I'd heard, she now lived amongst the Greeks and had taken to being called Aphrodite. Still the personification of love. Still beautiful, still powerful... and still heartbroken herself.

Death had also found his place. When the creature who went by no name, simply the title God, had begun His own pantheon, He'd called forth Death to assist him in bringing souls to rest, and Death came where he was called.

Since the war had ended, I had drifted from place to place. I couldn't stand still, couldn't wait around for the Source to contact me with news of the creature who would defeat Atlan and bring balance to the universe once more. I had begun with self-destruction, of seeking out any and all who could feed the wicked hunger inside me, the one I'd grown tired of treating myself. I could barely remember the names of all those I'd given myself to, and those I'd given to.

When self-destruction brought no satisfaction, I had come to the one realm I could truly get lost in without a care in the world, a realm currently populated by lonely degenerates. A realm with no name aside from Hell, for that was what this place was, by definition. The place of last resort, the place one would go to when there was nowhere else.

While most realms were run by a god and their pantheon, this realm was not. There was simply too much civil unrest for their to even be proper order. Certainly I could try, but why bother?

At least that was what I'd thought up until now.

Up until that dream, my existence had been nothing, but a mere waiting game.

However, the feeling from my dream stayed with me and as I laid there, staring up at the sky that was steadily blanketed by the morning sun and clear blue sky of daytime, I realized that all my waiting had paid off. For the sensation of power flowing through my veins and hope swelling in my chest had confirmed what my dream had been. It was more than just a word from the Source to tell me who the one to defeat Atlan would be.

You will find love... Because where I'm from, you already have it.

Hope. It felt so strange to feel it again after all this time. And from a creature who had suffered so much, or rather... one that would suffer so much. My heart bled at the thought of being unable to do anything for the savior, but I knew well not to tamper with destiny for it would lash quite sharply when tread upon without care. As much as I wished to seek out this savior and protect him from what would soon become a miserable existence, I knew that it was that harshness that would mold him into the great warrior that he was.

For he saw all corners of the world. The dark and the light. He would see the fear, the misery, the agony, the anger, the unfairness, the love, the joy, the hope, the wonderment. He would be able to see the world as close as the Source saw it, for he would gain a wisdom that only one creature before him held, and my heart swelled.

As did a wave of tears as I swallowed back the sob, but welcomed the burn of tears in my eyes, the warm stream of them down the sides of my face.

Best of luck to you, Savior. As you have told me this night, I will tell you now... Never give up. You will have what you deserve in the end. You will have what you want most... We both will. We have to.

Taking a deep breath of cold morning air, I slowly rose to my feet to begin my day with a new light inside me. I dressed in a pair of black leggings, throwing on a black long sleeve top under a long beige coat with a high standing collar, and I wrapped a large loose black shawl over my shoulders, bringing it close to the collar. I strapped on a large belt to carry my swords as well as other handy provisions, and jerked on a pair of knee high boots.

I was just rolling up my sleeping blankets and strapping them to the top of my bag when something flashed in the sky. I blinked, rising to my feet and tilting my head up to stare at the white stream of light that poured down from the heavens. The power was so vicious, so powerful that I felt it as a blast of hot wind in my face. I closed my eyes for a moment, then opened them to watch something coming down within that bright light.

A second later, there was a sonic boom as whatever it was landed just upon the shore of the Black Sea that separated this realm from the next realm, as both existed upon the same plane of existence.

The light vanished, and all was quiet once more. Save for the coo of a morning bird in the trees.

I suppose there was no harm in investigating the occurrence. Mayhap it be a creature and need, and lucky for them I was feeling particularly helpful today. If not another creature, surely something I would find intriguing. After all, what more could I do now? I still needed to wait, yet now I was no longer waiting in darkness.

I finished packing my gear and began the trek in the direction of the bright light. The walk was peaceful and I welcomed it. It reminded me of my morning runs, such a thing I had not done since leaving the former paradise realm. The first realm. No, running had seemed pointless before. Even walking. There were days I had spent doing naught but laying in bed. It was such that I no longer wept, no longer felt anything, but desolation.

Things are different now.

Yes, they were. I embraced this new sensation. This warmth in my chest, this swelling of my soul, as if my very blackened soul was becoming inflated with hope, with positivity. And fucking hell, the morning was beautiful. The sun was aglow across the mountain range to the south, casting great pink and golden hues across the sky as it brought forth the clear blue skies of daytime. Behind me, the stars began to fade, tucking into their darkness for the day, awaiting their turn once night returned. Waiting much like myself, but twas not a miserable wait any longer. For, like me, they knew when it was time.

The air, though cold, was not bitterly so. I was kept warm with my attire, and though my breath left my lips in soft clouds, it was not a discomfort. My boots whispered across the grass, crunching on occasional patches of dirt. Overhead, the trees towered high like brittle skeletons, preparing for the cold season, or winter as we called it. The only trees with any cover were the great fluffy redwoods overhead, their deep green canopy so high overhead that surely reaching that height would bring me nausea. Yet looking at it from down below made me smile.

I continued along my path, listening for the sounds of other creatures around me.

While I was feeling quite good this morning, for the first time in a long time, I was not naive to think I would not be attacked, as I was frequently attacked by pirates and thieves and degenerates in this realm. And now that my mind was cleared and given a chance to reboot, I realized now that I was not attacked simply for the love of violence. I was attacked by creatures born and bred in violence, who knew nothing more than the sword and blood. I was attacked by creatures who were hungry and desperate for food. I was attacked by creatures who were far more frightened of me than vice versa.

Such a pity that this realm was nothing, but a dump zone for other realms. Creatures that did not suit the particular tastes of the gods running their home realms had nowhere else to go to be free. Hell was the only realm open to them, and unfortunately, not all of the creatures that came here came with good intentions.

Sighing, I hefted my bag over my shoulder better and approached a cheaply made stone bridge that went over a deep set river. I paused at the center of the bridge, simply to stop and tilt my head up to look into the trees, where I felt a pair of eyes locked on me. There was a sharp intake of breath that I barely heard from the trees, and the creature stalking me vanished, clearly too afraid to come after me, as if he had felt the power behind his prey and decided to live another day.

I approached the rocky shoreline, coming to a slow stop to see the rock had been smashed to pieces with a great dent at the center of the black rocks. The waves of the sea roared as they splashed up against the rock, pouring out over the dent and soaking the creature that lay unmoving at the center of the dent.

I froze, for only a split second before I dropped my pack to the grass, sprinting out into the sand and approaching the rocks. I hoisted myself up quickly and approached the creature, slowly at first in case this was a test, or a trap, or both. Surely the words were synonymous.

The creature lay in a crumpled heap in the rock, badly injured with its arm twisted at a painful angle and its ribs surely crushed to powder, if not broken in several places. Upon closer inspection, I confirmed that the creature was male, with a mane of golden blonde hair that fell in waves about his face and shoulders. He wore what must have been a white cloak with the golden emblem of an elaborate X, wings flanking either side and a halo resting above. At least, this was what I was assuming considering the damage. The white was now filthy with soot, charred in several areas, burnt off pieces flying in the wind. The creature's skin was of fair color, blonde lashes laid closed. His face was sculpted well, masculine and stern, a face of aristocracy. Prim and proper, really.

Beautiful, all in all, were it not for the injuries that marred his face. A gash on his forehead, a busted lip, a bruised eye, what was clearly a shattered jaw.

And worst of all, he was now soaking wet in this cold. It may not be cold enough to snow just yet, but it was still cold nonetheless. Cold enough to bring about illness. With that in mind, I bent down and gathered the creature up in my arms. The weight of this creature was immense, probably from muscle mass, judging from the hard dips and curves in his body.

There was no way I could return him to my former camp site, not that it was safe to return there in the first place. And setting up camp on the shore was suicide. We needed to go somewhere safe in order for him to heal properly.

I returned to my pack, with great care heaving it up onto my shoulders before once again gathering the creature in my arms and heading for a safe place. Despite Hell's reputation for holding onto the worst kinds of rejects, there were good places too, safe places. Places much better suited for healing than a simple blanket on the ground.

I came upon the first village. It was named Number 6, for reasons unknown. Perhaps it was the six main buildings it was known for, or the six large bell towers, or the six brothels. Who knew? It did, however, have exactly what I was looking for. An overnight place, where travelers could arrive and stay for a night or two to rest. I left my pack and the creature in a seat just outside the front entrance, going inside to greet the owner at the front. A stout female with her hair spiraled into a tight stern bun, face riddled with pock marks, and quite the attitude, but she was quiet once I offered her payment in the form of expensive jewelry.

Once paid for, I took the creature and my pack to our designated room, which really held no security aside from the iron lock on the door and the old key she'd given me. To ensure our safety, I moved my bed in front of the door. There was no need to worry about the window, not with the iron bars there. I took the creature to the other bed and laid him out carefully. I slid my heavy coat off and set aside my shawl, rolling my sleeves up as I sat on the edge of the bed.

He was completely wiped clean of his powers. He must have been fighting ridiculously hard, judging from his bruised knuckles, his injuries that weren't sustained from his fall. I took one of his large hands in my own, smoothing a thumb over his knuckles. His hands were soft, gentle, yet there was a hardness to them that indicated he fought frequently, but with magic as opposed to brute force. It explained why several of his fingers were busted. I closed my eyes, cupping his hands in mine and sending a warm wave of healing into them. I opened my eyes in time to see him flinch, but he did not wake. I looked down upon his cloak.

Had it not been ruined, I would have been much more hesitant to cut it open, but as it was, there was no need to worry over such trivial things. I ran my fingernail down the front of his cloak, slicing it open cleanly with the magic I'd conjured around my finger to sharpen it. I peeled the cloak apart, grimacing at the horrid mess that lay beneath.

His body was certainly attractive, muscular and lean with a body built for speed, agility. His abdomen was a hard landscape of bulging muscles, his narrow hips tapering down to an impressive set of male genitalia, and after came long legs that appeared to last forever, corded with hard flexing muscles as he flinched once more, as if he sensed my presence near, but could not bring himself from his slumber.

Or, perhaps, it was a nightmare that plagued him. For he flinched once more and turned his head away, his breath coming in a rapid gasp.

Wanting to ease both his physical and mental anguish, I reached out and rested two fingers at the center of his forehead. He tensed for a moment, then his tense expression softened until he sighed and returned to a peaceful rest. I drew my hand back, cracked my knuckles, and got to work healing his injuries, taking my time with each one so as not to disturb him.

Over the years, my healing powers, as well as those of others, revealed themselves to be quite complex and difficult to master. It was not a mere point and everything was instantly better. The point of contact was the connection between the wound and the magic. The magic worked by boosting the speed of the natural healing process, which at times would require other parts of the body to cooperate.

For example, healing this creature's broken ribs was no easy feat. Each one had to be carefully mended together, with no fragments flying off, no pieces breaking away to puncture a lung. It was much harder to maneuver that which I could not see either. For all I knew, this creature had a completely different anatomy than what I was accustomed to.

I had come across creatures with three hearts, enlarged lungs, three livers, etcetera. The universe had certainly grown over the years, had become a complex web of variety that even I had difficulties keeping up with at times. While I still knew much, I did not know all. That was not my gift.

My gift was creation. And in creation, there was healing and I would do well to keep my knowledge as up to date as possible in order to keep the innocent safe. Because that is what I wanted to do, I realized as I healed the last injury on the creature's cheek, restoring beauty to his once handsome face.

My palm lingered against his whiskered cheek, his warmth a strange comfort to me as I brushed my thumb across his cheekbone.

I wanted to help others. I'd always wanted to help others. It was why I had been willing to sacrifice everything I had in order to save the many. How it burned inside, yes, but the reward of seeing happy, relieved faces...

I took a deep breath and retreated from the creature. I left our quarters, simply to go down to the tavern to fetch ale and food. I took a mug and tray with me as I returned to the room, placing it on the stand beside the creature's bed. I spent most of the day watching over him. He slept deeply. Every so often, his nightmares would return and he would become restless, but I would return to his side to ease him back into comfort.

It was past midnight, as I lit the last candle in the room to provide a warm cozy glow, when the creature on the bed stirred. So as not to alarm him, I took a seat on my bed in front of the door, laying my arms over my knees as I watched him tilt his head toward the wall, a grimace screwing up his face.

He lifted a hand to his head, clutching it for a moment, as if he were expecting obscene agony. When he appeared to realize he was safe and healed, he blinked and stared at the wall. He stared at the ceiling. And when his eyes fell upon me, I confirmed my suspicions.

Blue eyes. Celestial. Brilliant. Bright. Intelligent. Wise. Hopeful... But hurt. So much hurt swam in those mystical blue eyes that reminded me so much of the cosmos I often looked up at and questioned.

Was this a sign of some kind? Was the Source attempting to tell me something by sending this creature here for me to mend? Did the Source also think my mission was to serve and protect, still?

Abruptly, the creature's eyes widened, as if suddenly remembering why he was here, what had led to his falling, and he shot off the bed, putting great distance between us by backing himself into a corner. Not a very intelligent move on his part, but I wished him no harm and I stayed put, merely watching him calmly as I pushed myself to sit upright, hands on my knees.

"Good, you're up. You did not wake in time for dinner to be served down below, so I talked the cook into allowing me to bring a tray of food up to you." My words confused him. His face was so expressive, the way his eyebrows drew down in confusion, his lips pursing and his eyes narrowing. Something about this creature was oddly... cute. I was unsure what could possibly make me think that given he had the body of a fierce warrior, the clothes of a high ranking official of some kind, if not royalty, and a ruggedly handsome face.

"Bread, meat, and cheese," I added, pointing to the foods on the tray, "I also fetched you water and ale, should you partake of it. I find myself rather fond of their particular brew. Very bold and leaves a warm burn in your throat. Although, I should ask you to drink slowly, else you push your body too hard. You fell quite hard onto the shore." He did not even bother to hide his bafflement at casual conversation, or perhaps it was the reminder of his fall.

He reached back to touch his shoulders, blinking wide. He looked down upon his hands, splaying his fingers out, maybe in search of a ring of some kind given the way he stroked the tapered digits. He looked up suddenly.

"Who are you?"

"I have no name," I answered. He blinked once more. He reminded me of a squirrel, I realized suddenly. Skittish, suspicious, and that mane of hair that currently stuck up in several places that would've been comical if I wasn't so concerned with keeping him calm.

"Who are you?" I asked. He looked around the room for a moment, then back at me. He was still tense, still pressed up into that corner facing me, his hands flexing now as if he were preparing to blast me to smithereens, to which I only gave him a smile.

"I would not do that if I were you." He tensed.

"Do what?"

"Attack me," I replied, slowly rising to my feet and he only locked up even further, taking a step forward as if to challenge me, "Please don't. I did not rescue you only to cause you great harm because of misguided fear." This time, he scoffed. He arched a regal brow and folded his arms over his chest, but despite his lax pose, his muscles were coiled and ready to defend to the death.

"Firstly," he began, that deep baritone voice of his vibrating the room around us, "I have no need to be rescued by a mere nameless woman. Secondly, what could you possibly do to me?" I raised an eyebrow, mostly amused by his comments, but I kept my expression bored. Twas a common mistake of my sex frequently, and I wondered briefly when this view of one sex being superior to the other came about. If the males of today saw the females of my day, they would surely be quaking in their boots and biting their tongues before ever offending them. It made me think of Satanika, and how she was faring with the new male order.

"I am male," I answered, and a pleasant blush colored the creature's cheeks as he cleared his throat, still lifting his chin as if he refused to be embarrassed, despite his coloring, "But regardless of my sex, I would be able to cause you great harm, which I do not wish to do. And when I came across you, you were nothing, but a broken heap of bones and flesh on the rocky shores of the Black Sea. I ask not for your thanks nor for any sort of pleasantries. I simply wish for you to eat, to drink, and rest before you continue on your journey to wherever it is that you plan to go."

He stared at me now, unable to comprehend my calm, my kindness even... and suddenly his expression dulled, a look of remembrance coming across those blue eyes and he sank down slowly to the floor. He drew his knees in to his chest, wrapped his arms around them and put his head down.

"You should eat--"

"I do not wish to eat! I will never eat!" He snarled at me abruptly. I frowned, watching him curl in tighter to himself. I was mildly irritated in being cast aside so quickly, and so angrily, but my anger subsided as I focused on the creature in the corner.

There was a potent misery about him. His aura was a dark cloud of hurt, of fear, anger, confusion. The longer I stared at him, the longer I began to realize how familiar his aura was. I had sensed this once before, and it had been in Death, when his father had first abandoned him. The specific combination of raw painful emotions could be none other than a reaction to some kind of abandonment... and judging from the way he'd landed here, it had been quite a violent abandonment, one he had fought tooth and nail to avoid, and his failure only furthered his misery until I was certain he would weep from it.

Wishing to give him privacy, I turned to move my bed from the door.

"I will be leaving to take a walk. If you wish to join me, you are welcome, as I will stay in town to make sure that you heal properly and are given sufficient sustenance. If you wish to leave, please do me the honor of not stealing my property. What I have is very little and not quite expensive, so you would not be able to sell it for profit. Be well." I left, taking my coat and closing the door behind me.

I was unsure which the creature would choose, but there was an odd part of me that hoped he would choose to remain. This creature was broken, shattered. There was an air of hopelessness that had settled in upon my departure. He, too, was beginning to realize he'd been left behind by whatever force he'd held dear prior. It was a harsh and cold thing to come to terms with and was best done alone, for now.

Not forever.

Never forever.

One could not move on from abandonment if one did not recognize it. And in order to move on, you would need to find someone else, or something else, to fill that void. A strange part of me was willing to be that piece to fit his puzzle. Looking upon him, I felt a strange magnetic pull towards him. Despite having just met him, I had this distinct feeling we were meant to be together.

Not romantically, no. Certainly not. Such things were trivial to me. They did not interest me. Maybe wouldn't for a while, despite my dream of the angel and the warrior telling me I would find it. They clearly came from a distant future, one that I looked forward to with high hopes.

But for now, I would remain in the here and the now.

And right now, that creature had captured my attention.

In so many ways. He was more than just beautiful. There was a deep intelligence in those blue eyes, a longing for companionship.

He was wounded and he needed help, but I would not be able to provide it unless he personally asked for it. Because it was not help if you forced it.