Chapter Fifty-One

The gardner was back.

He stood across the garden, clipping at some bushes, occasionally sprinkling things with water, and he had come back with bird seed this time. As he stood by the rose bush, dressed once more in his khakis, blue polo, and matching hat, he held his palm out and the bird from the bush immediately flew to his hand, landing on the tip of his finger and stooping over to snatch up seeds. The fae smiled sweetly at the thing, reaching up with his free hand to stroke the soft feathers of the creature, who didn't appear to mind at all. In fact, he seemed to bask in the attention he paused his feast to throw his head back and twitter.

The fae laughed and rubbed the thing's tiny head before it went back to eating and the fae was content to watch it with a delighted smile.

The door to the room opened with a quiet breeze, and I immediately recognized the nurse coming in with the equipment to give me my first meal of the day. I wasn't looking forward to it, but the entire time she hooked things up, shoved that damn tube down my throat until it felt like the thing was going to puncture my colon, I focused on the gardner outside.

After he finished feeding the bird, he dropped the extra seeds to the ground and went back to tending the plants. He stroked the leaves of every bush, every flower, and even the small apple tree, and seemed to be murmuring gentle words of encouragement. He moved slowly, took his time, did his job with great care and satisfaction. He took out his phone after a while, typed something, smiled big, and typed something else. Then he appeared to be calling someone and held the phone to his ear.

His husband, I knew instantly. That smile said it all, and the way he did a little spin, like he was super excited, made my heart swell, if even a little.

He hung up and packed up his things, heading out through the side door and disappearing from sight. A few moments later, the nurse was hauling the tube back out of my throat, my stomach full to the point of feeling uncomfortable, and I watched out the corner of my eye as the nurse began to hook things back up, a frown creasing her features.

She didn't look as free as she had last night. Her dark hair was coiled back up into that tight bun, her dark eyes narrowed, lips pressed tight as she wrapped the tube up and tossed it in a biohazard container. She wasn't wearing a lacy bra today, not that she was walking around naked, I just knew by looking at her. Probably something beige and plain.

The way she felt.

Did you not have fun last night? I projected to her. She froze in mid-grab, her eyes going wide before she snapped her head around to look at me. She stared and I stared back, watching the color drain from her face, her hands trembling as she took them away from the machine.

"E-Excuse me?" She asked. They told me you couldn't talk, she thought with immediate panic. Her thoughts immediately erupted with all sorts of ways to kill me, from injecting something in my IV to smothering me with a pillow. She wasn't going to lose her job over someone like me, no way. She'd just left her husband last night after returning home, and because she'd moved in with him, he'd kicked her out and she was currently staying at a nearby hotel. She needed money if she was going to survive on her own, and she'd be damned if I was the one who ruined it all for her.

You can't kill me, I responded to her thoughts, and she stiffened, besides, you don't need to. I'm not going to tell anyone. I know why you did what you did. She swallowed hard, her brows screwing up in confusion as she stepped closer to the bed.

"What? Why?" She asked, her voice cracking. I could smell the pain and guilt beginning to waft off her, like pungent fumes permeating the air, and her stomach was sinking low as she relived last night over and over again in her head. Her decision had been last minute. She'd been in the room to clean up and she'd gotten so close to the bed. She apparently stood there for a full minute, admiring me like something in a display case, and she stood there thinking about how angry she was at the world, how angry she was at me for making her feel something she'd never felt with her husband, angry that she wasn't who her husband wanted her to be.

She wasn't a bad person, though. Not normally. She'd never done anything like that in her life. She'd never stolen anything, never missed a day of work, was clean and proper, followed the rules, and even her subconscious was strangely clear of anything aside from last night. It had been a building anger inside her, a building urge to do something wild and crazy.

And now that she'd done it, now that she'd had time to think about what she'd done, she had never felt more horrible in her entire life. Her one poor decision had led to what she assumed would be a lifetime trauma.

And while I should have been angry, should have felt some urge to kill her, I felt none. I felt a strange... usefulness to her. She'd needed a release, something inside her needed to snap so she could find her calm, and that was what she'd done. While I would never have condoned it to someone else, she'd been with me. I had helped her. Even if for just those few moments she was with me, she felt temporary bliss, she felt beautiful, for the first time in centuries.

I gave her that.

You've worked hard your whole life, I told her, reading her memories and watching her swallow nervously, you gave up everything you had for your husband. You loved him so much, but he never loved you that way, and you knew it. You hoped one day he would change, but he only grew worse. He's slept with three other people during your marriage, and the other day was when you found out; when you were forced to care for one of the people your husband had slept with. You saved that female's life. And you hate yourself for it. You hate yourself for pretending things were fine when they weren't. You blame yourself for all of it. You don't love yourself the way you should, which I find incredibly heartbreaking, because you're a beautiful female and very intelligent. You would've gone further in medical school, had your husband not asked you to quit school.

Her eyes welled up with tears and she covered her mouth with her hand. She shut her eyes tightly, and the tears poured down her face. I had an urge to reach out and wipe them away, to lift her head up while she lowered it in shame. All I could do was watch her as she choked on a sob.

"Oh my god," she whispered helplessly. The guilt overrode my senses. A burning stench in my nostrils, leaving a bitter taste on the back of my tongue.

I apologize, I projected to her, making her look up, I've been rather intrusive. I've been listening to your thoughts whenever you enter the room. You've been in a lot of pain. She choked on another sob, covered her mouth and swallowed hard, taking a few deep breathes.

"No," she stammered, her breath hitching, "No... Oh my god, no, please. I-I'm s-so sorry. What-What I did to you, oh my god, it was so wrong, so, so wrong. I had no idea what I was thinking, oh god--"

You didn't do anything to me, I said, and she looked at me in disbelief.

"It was against your will, you were unconscious, you--"

I was awake at some point, I replied, and she moaned low in agony, covering her face with her hands, had it been against my will, I would have stopped you, believe me. Why do you think the room looks the way it does? I may not be able to move my body, but I can still destroy things. She sniffled.

"It still wasn't right. Nothing about it was right. I had no right to do what I did. I still-- I was angry at my husband, not you--"

You were angry with me, I pointed out, watching her tense, you didn't like that I aroused you, and I do apologize for that, but I cannot do anything about it. It's simply a common reaction creatures tend to have in my presence. It's understandable. So, please, don't apologize. I just want to know if you feel better today than you did yesterday. She shut her eyes again and cried silently for a while. I waited, watching the tears fall before she gave me a single nod.

But her mind said differently. Now she was hurt, she was still angry, but this time at herself. She couldn't believe she'd caved into her anger, her pain, and did something completely immoral. She also couldn't believe how I was handling this. She had expected me to kill her when I'd first brought it up with her, but now she found herself wishing I had. She'd never hurt someone like this before, never hurt anyone as a matter of fact. And worse still, to hurt someone who couldn't defend himself, who was injured, someone she was in charge of taking care of.

She couldn't do this job, she began to realize. She couldn't stay here. She couldn't help people, she didn't trust herself anymore. She was questioning everything she'd ever done, questioning why she was here, what her purpose was. She was going to quit, she concluded. She was going to march right up to her boss, give him her two weeks notice, and then she was gone. She would live with her sister in the mortal realm, take time to figure things out for herself.

And... I felt a strange sense of relief. She was going to find a way to help herself. She wanted to find a way to right her wrongs, wanted to find a way to make herself a better person.

Thank you, I told her, making her blink and look up in bewilderment, I've been laying in this bed for three days. I can't eat, piss, or shower by myself. For the first time in three days, I have made a decision for myself. For the first time in three days, I feel useful. The nurse shut her eyes and cried further. She went to the bathroom to collect herself, and I went back to staring out the window.

The sun was shining again today. Bright golden rays shining down on the garden, making the wet leaves of the bushes glow and gleam. The bird was back, bouncing around in the bush it'd made its nest in. The rabbit had also returned, picking up some leftover treats the gardener had left behind before dashing off to the pipe it used to get in and out of the small garden.

The nurse came out of the restroom, mostly composed. Still red eyed, still sniffly, guilty, pained, but she was resolved now. She took a deep breath, and appeared to measure a good distance between me and her, as if to respect my space. She looked at me.

"I am so, so sorry for everything that I did to you," she told me softly, her eyes lowering to the floor for a brief moment before drifting back up, "I know no amount of apologies will change what happened. I know it won't anything better. And if you decide at some point that you've changed your mind and you need to find me, I won't run from you, because I know I deserved whatever it is you have prepared for me. I just ask that you don't hurt my sister. She and her family have nothing to do with my mistakes." I wanted to smile.

I don't intend to hurt you, much less hunt you down. You're hurting enough as it is. My only hope is that you find the right path some day and find the happiness you've been looking for your whole life. I projected. Her eyes watered again, but she blinked them back quickly and departed from the room. I watched her go, knowing I'd probably never see her again. Probably for the best if she was going to heal.

I looked back out the window, admiring the garden and its peaceful stillness. It was a soothing comfort, strangely relaxing. A sense of nostalgia washed over me. A gentle lull that drew me into sleep again. This time, I dreamt of the garden back in the Paradise realm, the way it had once been.

A beautiful array of flowers, some no longer in existence, some surviving ancient turmoil, new ones, old ones. Blues, greens, pinks, reds, yellows; a rainbow spreading across the open space with patted down dirt paths winding around the beds. Small trees, big trees, scattered here and there. And in the middle of this garden utopia was the largest tree in the garden. Its branches were like an umbrella, heavy with lazy purple leaves, stretching wide over the garden as if to protect the plant life from any harsh weather. Little red fruits sprouted along the leaves, dangling down, waiting to be picked.

The air was so clean, so fresh, so crisp.

It smelled of wet soil, sweet flowers.

I sat against the tree, my back against the rough back, my eyes closed, head tilted back. I inhaled the fresh air, drew my knees to my chest, listened to the silence around me. Not even a gentle breeze to rustle the leaves above, and the grass was so soft beneath my feet. The temperature was perfect, not too hot, not too cold.

It was utterly beautiful.

Just the way I remembered it.

A moment later, I felt the air around me stir. The warm comforting scent of soil and feminine sweetness made my eyes flicker open as I regarded Geara with calm greeting. She stood before me, a smile gracing her beautiful lips. I smiled slowly at the sight of her, my body further relaxing. She was as beautiful as I remembered her. Small, petite, dainty, her skin such a rich dark black, her riotous curls coming down around her shoulders, reminding me of the tree that covered us. She wore a thin white ruffled top, and black leggings, her bare feet planted in the grass.

"Joxeia, you're sleeping too much," she murmured, leaning forward to put her hands on her knees.

"I might as well get used to it," I answered, and her head tilted curiously, "I can only move in my dreams, sweet sister mine. In the real world, my body is useless." Geara smiled, but it was so incredibly sad. It broke my heart, and I held my hand out to her. She reached out to take it, letting me pull her down into my lap, so her back was to my chest, my arms around her, my head on her head.

"But it's alright," I told her gently, stroking her arms, savoring the feel of her against me once more, and gods, I missed it so much that it hurt, "I can still help people, Geara. I may not be able to move, or speak, but I can still help them. I know I can. I helped someone else today." Geara swallowed hard, her eyes staring straight ahead, as if she knew full well what had transpired between the nurse and myself. Her eyes were liquid for a moment before she blinked and tilted her head back against my shoulder to look up at me, those orbs of brilliant gold sunshine washing over me, warming me from the inside out.

"Brother mine, you're forgetting that there's one person you've still not yet helped," she said. I blinked, then frowned curiously as I made a quick mental list of any of the recent clients I'd accepted before I looked down at her.

"I can still help Poseidon and Zeus. I'm unsure if offering my body will do anything to assist them in particular, but I will think of something. I'll find a way to lead them to the right path. I--" Geara reached up and pinched my nose, making me grimace. She tugged hard, giving me a stern look as I turned my face away from her, reaching up to rub the soreness away.

"What was that for?" I asked dryly. Geara raised an eyebrow.

"For being frustrating," she deadpanned, and I looked at her incredulously. She stuck her nose in the air, turning back and dropping herself against my chest hard enough to make me grunt.

"You've already helped them," she tacked on. I frowned, confused.

"Not quite," I responded, "Poseidon's yet to find someone who understands his pain, and Zeus still hasn't moved on--"

"Of course they have," Geara interrupted curtly, holding up her hand and ticking off two fingers at a time, "Poseidon's found someone to share his pain with, someone who can and will understand him more than anyone else in the world, someone who is kind and gentle, but also strong and fierce. And Zeus has already moved on, and has moved on for a while now. I was not referring to either one of them." I thought about her words, confused by them as I couldn't remember either of those things happening.

Perhaps Poseidon had found someone he was interested in, but someone who gave him what he seeked? And Zeus moving on? Last I checked, he still dreamt of Hades.

"You've lost me, sister mine," I said at last. Geara's eyes drifted up to mine, searching my face before she looked away, her countenance sad, pained.

"I know," she murmured, taking my hands in hers and lacing our fingers together, "I lost you a very long time ago... But it's not too late. It's never too late, Joxeia. Don't let our past ruin your present, your future. You deserve the same peace and happiness that those you help." I smiled at that, leaning down to kiss the top of her head.

"Ever worried, I see... But I'm alright, Geara. Truly. Perhaps things hadn't turned out the way I had foreseen them, but I am happy. I enjoy helping others."

"And I believe that," Geara answered with a wistful smile, "You always loved making people smile and laugh. You loved those days we spent dancing out here in the gardens with our family. Do you remember those times?" I nodded, following her gaze out to the empty space in the gardens where we'd spent hours dancing and playing. I remembered spinning around with Geara until we were dizzy, racing Xiphrus across the gardens, taking Death by the hand, showing him to dance, to use his magic. Back when magic was used for nothing more than beauty and awe, building and creating.

Now it was used for war, for battle, for curses.

"But that's not the happiness you seek," Geara said softly, making me look at her as she stared out at the gardens, "Joxeia, helping others is wonderful, and my heart sings that you enjoy this, but it is not the happiness you seek. You are punishing yourself for what transpired with Atlan."

"Geara," I started, but she turned in my arms, put her finger to my lips, and I fell silent, watching her study me with those fierce yellow eyes.

"You've been punishing yourself all these eons for the things that happened. You punished yourself for what happened to Xiphrus, the feelings you had for him, for Atlan, and you've punished yourself for what happened to me. You've spent centuries upon centuries, torturing yourself for what you did to your own children. But, Joxeia, sweet brother mine, enough is enough. You were never at fault for any of the things that happened. What happened was meant to happen. Now you may have peace and happiness. And yet, here you are, laying in a bed where you continue to punish yourself," she whispered, moving her finger from my lips to touch the side of my face.

I shut my eyes tightly, her words hitting much closer to home than I cared to admit. Having her so openly shed my walls away, I felt naked, right down to my soul, and it was terrifying to have anyone look inside myself so much.

I opened my eyes to meet Geara's.

"I can't," I whispered, "Geara, I can't stop now. I... I haven't made up for all the things I've done. You don't understand."

"There is nothing to understand," Geara whispered back, taking my face in her hands, "Brother mine, there is only goodness and purity in your heart, your soul."

"How can you say that? Look at all the things I've done. All the things that led to the war with Atlan, all the people that have been hurt directly because of me, because of my stupidity, my inability to look beyond my own selfishness. The Savior was tormented for centuries, is still tormented to this day. And his mother. Lucifer. Hades. And, Geara, that's just the beginning. The disgusting things in my head--"

"Disgusting," Geara murmured, then frowned, "Do you mean the sexual appetite you have?" Heat flooded my face at having my sister, so sweet and dainty, say something so bluntly, right in my face. She smiled at that, stroking my cheeks with her thumbs.

"Joxeia, how is any of that disgusting?"

"Geara, it's not normal--"

"Of course it is," she exclaimed, making me frown as she sat back on her knees, "Joxeia, it is perfectly natural. It is beautiful. Wanting something that is different from the norm that creatures have come to embrace in this day and age, that does not make you filthy. You are alive. You want to feel that. You want fireworks, a storm. Your hunger for passion is not something to be ashamed of, not something to flee from. Joxeia, it's beautiful, just like you. Your passion for life is exactly why you were created." I looked at her curiously, and she smiled.

"Joxeia, my precious brother, you are Creation. You create beauty, passion, life, magic, everything. You've brought about entire realms. You've brought the paths of darkness into the light. You create safety and warmth and Love. You create Hope, Joxeia. That is what you are." She picked up my hand, laid it across my chest, and leaned in to touch her forehead to mine. I sucked in a deep breath as I felt her strength rush through me. We sat there and listened to the silence around us, savored each other's company, our warmth, our love... and our hope. A soothing hum wrapped around us, the buzz of the universal power in the air, enveloping us, taking us to a beautiful place I knew so well.

The universe disappeared around us, the garden fading into darkness, darkness that was only there briefly before color exploded around us, taking a gust of power up around us, as if we were in the center of a funnel, one that moved quickly, but safely, one that was warm. Ribbons of colored light sprang up around us, encased us, fluttering in the powerful breeze, and brilliant golden rays shined down on us, our heads lifting as one to stare into the eye of the Source, a depth of all colors coming together into one ray of light.

I took a deep breath of air so pure, so clean, savoring the feel of the colors threading around me, brushing my skin, caressing my hair, kissing my cheeks and sailing off into the magnificent power of the Source overhead. The Source wrapped its arms around us, cradled us, its power a vibration that sank deep beneath my skin and touched my soul.

My mortal vessel dissolved and my soul became a light so bright that it seared the flesh from bone, bones into dust, and everything shed away. I looked upon Geara, her vessel stripped free of its morality, free of its mortal beauty, and flush with the brilliant color of her spirit, a vibrant shade of color that existed nowhere else in the universe.

Our lights shone bright, the Source blinking as it took the sight of us in, and breathed out a sigh of relief, a sigh that blasted down against us, the lights around us flashing and speeding up their rapid fire dance into the Source.

And as quickly as it had happened, Geara and I were back in the garden, back in the Paradise realm, back in our vessels, looking at each other with tears staining our cheeks. Geara smiled at me, reaching out to wipe my cheeks.

"I've missed you so much," I whispered at last, my heart aching as I studied her face, and unable to stand it any longer, I reached out to her and she fell into my arms, wrapping her arms around me as I held her to me tight, "Gods, I've missed you so much it hurts, sister mine." Geara rubbed her cheek against my chest, her fingers twisting tight in my shirt.

"And I you, dear brother mine. My precious, precious brother. I love you so much, Joxeia. We all do. You are so beautiful, so smart, so warm and loving. You are Creation. You are the gift this universe has blessed us with."

"Please don't leave me again, Geara, please. I need you. Xiphrus needs you. He's called out to you."

"Why do you think we're here," Geara murmured, pulling back to smile at me, "It's rather difficult to sleep with Xiphrus crying so much." I swallowed hard at the lump in my throat, the thought of Xiphrus crying again breaking my heart.

"He wept?"

"He wept the day the battle ended. He needs you, Joxeia."

"But, Geara, we need you--"

"No, you do not," Geara said with a smile, "You have everything you need, Joxeia. I will be here for you, Joxeia, in your sleep, to dance and run and play with you for eternity. But right now, my sweet precious brother, you need to wake up." I reached for her, but she took my hands and lowered them to the ground at my sides. She leaned in and kissed me on the forehead, on the temple, on the nose, the cheeks, then my lips, before she rose to her feet.

Her image flickered before my eyes, and I felt myself waking up. My breath hitched and my vision blurred as I tried to reach for her again, but my hands didn't move. Her image blinked out again, and when it returned, Geara was wearing a nurse's uniform from the hospital on Olympus, white and staunch, and her dark curls were tamed by a headband, and she gave me a wink.

"By the way, tell Zeus I said ribbit," she added before she vanished.

My eyes flew open and I found myself gasping for breath, laying in my hospital bed, surrounding by medical personnel, including Hades. They were shouting at one another, but I couldn't hear their words. It was a flurry of excitement, of people grabbing at me, as if to hold me down, but... how was that possible? I couldn't move. I couldn't--

It took me a full moment to realize my body was trembling violently, my insides shuddering and blood leaking from the corners of my mouth from where my teeth had come down on my tongue. Gauze was stuffed in my mouth, and more obnoxious machines hooked up to me via sticky pads on my chest. I looked around frantically, trying to find something to focus on until I met Hades's eyes. He was frozen, leaning over me, eyes locked on mine. At first, I wondered about the shock on his face, didn't understand it, until I realized I had his wrist in my hand and was squeezing it so tight, it would no doubt bruise.

I tried to speak, but that fucking gauze was clogging me up, so I reached up with my other hand, shoving a nurse back and snatching the gauze out before speaking to Hades with a hoarse voice.

"Get these people off me or I'm going to destroy more than the hospital room," I croaked. Hades blinked, then snapped into action as he glared at he staff.

"You heard him," he snarled at them, "Fuck off, he's not going to die from a little tongue nibbling, Jesus fuck. He's an ancient demon, not a drunk human. Everyone get back, or out, or both. Actually, no, just get out because you're all pissing me off too." The staff looked baffled, sharing nervous looks, then turning to me in surprise as I slowly pushed myself up. My limbs felt stiff and awkward, but I was moving and I was not going to stop.

I yanked the pads off my chest, tore the IV and spat the rest of the gauze out. I reached up to my tongue, which appeared to have been nearly severed, and healed it the moment I made contact. I swung my legs over the side of the bed, and my knees cramped up the moment I made contact with the floor. I caught the bed for support. A doctor reached for me, but Hades gave him a warning glare at the same time I did.

"Touch me, and I'll make you an infant again for the sole purpose of watching you go through medical for another fifty years," I warned. The doctor held his hands up in surrender and Hades raised an eyebrow, folding his arms over his chest as he watched me.

"How are you feeling, pinocchio?"

"Like I am fully prepared to punch you in the throat if you call me that again."

"Oh, no, see, I've got a whole list of this shit ready," Hades answered, waving me off dismissively, "Anyway, answer the question for real, Annabelle. Any pain anywhere? Discomfort? Also, how the fuck are you even moving? You know what, let's start with that one first." I took a deep breath, straightened as I got my bearings, and cut him a dry, unamused stare before averting my eyes to look out at the garden, where the sun was still shining, but dipping low, indicating it was past noon, perhaps approaching sundown.

I reached up to touch my lips, and I could still feel Geara's presence there and I closed my eyes for a moment before taking a deep breath. I looked at Hades, who frowned at me.

"I'm the Demon of Creation," I said slowly as the answer became clear to me, "I created a cure." Hades stared at me. He was immediately fascinated by the concept, immediately had more questions, but because he was Hades, there was no way he was going to gush over that, so instead, he looked at me irately.

"You could've fucking done that a couple days ago."

"Yeah, well, you traumatized me after manhandling me."

"Oh, I'm sorry for saving your ass. Next time, I'll fucking leave you there."

"I'd rather you do that than have you poke at me like a goddamn science experiment. Speaking of which, if you think for one damn second that I didn't see you stealing vials of my blood to test, you're dead wrong."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Listen, Frankenstein--"

"Oh my God, St. John!"

Hades and I turned to the door where Lucifer was coming in with a nurse behind him, a nurse that fainted the moment she saw me on my feet. As the medical staff reverted their attention to her, Lucifer ran in and grabbed me in a fierce hug that nearly threw me off balance, but I managed to steady myself, putting my arms around him and holding him close. He breathed a sigh of relief, squeezing me tight, as if he were afraid of letting me go.

"You're back," Lucifer managed, pulling back only so he could grab my face in his hands, checking me over and stroking my cheeks, to ensure I was really there, really standing taller than him again, "You're okay. You're standing up. You're still pissing Hades off." I smiled at that, reaching up to take his hand in mine, ignoring Hades's eyeroll.

"Yes. Sorry about that. Let's chalk it up to a bad week," I murmured. Lucifer shook his head, appearing not to care how it happened, or when, just that it did, and he gave me another fierce hug.

"Yeah," Hades said, backing toward the doors, making me glance at him, annoyed, "This is getting too chick flick for me. I'm going to go let Zeus know he can stop packing up his fucking palace and preparing to move into the hospital," he muttered, moving away.

"No," I said, stepping away from Lucifer and making Hades glance at me curiously, "Let me do it. I need to talk to him anyway." Hades studied me curiously, then seemed to realize where I was going with that. He raised an eyebrow, scanned me from head to toe, then shrugged before he walked out, appearing to approve of my intentions. Relieved I wouldn't have to deal with any overprotective big brother bullshit, I turned back to Lucifer, who was still staring at me, glowing, as if he couldn't believe the miracle that was happening before him.

"I'm alright, Lucifer. I'm sorry I was out of commission for a while," I told him quietly, reaching out to brush my thumb under his eye to catch a tear. Lucifer pushed my hand away and just grabbed me for another hug, one I accepted and returned.

"Stop apologizing for things that aren't your fault. I'm just glad you're up and back to yourself," he pulled back again to study my face, his mind a whirl of concern and relief, "I'm the one who should apologize. For before. That was incredibly inappropriate of me, of all of us. We should've read the room. You were clearly upset about something, well, I mean, obviously about... Anyway, you're up. You're alive. You're here. You're safe." I smiled. It sounded more like he was trying to reassure himself, and yet when I delved into his mind, all I heard was pure and utter honesty that he wanted to comfort me, not just himself.

"Thank you, Lucifer," I murmured, making him look at me curiously, "Have I told you lately how much I love you?" Lucifer flushed a bit, averting his eyes, then peering back at me, like he was unsure how to respond to that. He swallowed hard and put his hand on my shoulder, giving me a squeeze.

"Love you too, St. John. Or Joxeia. Or whatever you want me to call you," he added, frowning in confusion. I laughed.

"Either one is fine, Lucifer. Whatever you want. Listen, I think I really need to go talk to Zeus. But I need to know before I go, if you're okay? I mean, are you really okay?" I asked. Lucifer blinked, appearing caught off guard by the question. Then his eyes drifted to the doors where Hades had been, then he turned back to me and smile.

"Yes. I am, Joxeia. I'm very okay."

I smiled.

"Good. I'll come find you again when I'm done."

"You can just call me," Lucifer said with a nod, "Something tells me you'll be gone for a while." I inclined my head and vanished from the hospital room, teleporting all the way back to Zeus's palace, where it was barrier free, not that I would respect it this time. I appeared in Zeus's bedroom, where sure enough, he was packing multiple suitcases. He was wearing yet another expensive suit, this one made of expensive sleek black material, his tie made of red-pink satin, and his blonde hair as impeccable as ever.

And I suddenly felt strange to be standing there in my hospital clothing, my hair down around my shoulders, so I did a quick wave of my hand, changing my clothing so I was standing in a simple black v-neck and gray jeans, doing my hair up in a loose bun. Feeling the magic filter through the air, Zeus straightened and swung around, just as I started toward him, and his mouth fell open.

"Jo--" I cut him off by grabbing him, jerking him up against me, and taking his mouth with mine. He grunted at the force, his eyes still wide in surprise, but I sank my tongue into his mouth and he moaned, taking a step back to find his balance, but he bumped back against the wall beside his closet door, knocking over a couple of suitcases. I slid my arms under the jacket of his suit, shoving it back off his shoulders and watching it hit the floor. He reached back to grip the doorframe, and the grip was so hard the metal there bent under his strength.

He went to pull his head back, to open his mouth again for another attempt at speaking, but I cut him off again, attacking his mouth, pulling hard on his bottom lip, then delving into his mouth. Instead of words, I got another precious moan, one that sent a chill up my spine. I untucked his crisp white dress shirt, and reached up, yanking it open and the buttons went flying, scattering across the floor like a delicate rain. I dropped my hands down to the belt around his waist, yanking it off, and briefly I debated making that earlier fantasy come true, the sight of it coming across his perfect ass, then decided against it.

Mostly because I needed to be with him now. I needed to feel him inside me. I wanted to ride him until he couldn't move, unable words were no longer on his mind, until he was drunk on me. The thought chilled me, the intensity of my hunger for him was almost stilling. Instead, I went with it, shoving his pants and underwear down to the floor, and he stepped out of them.

Zeus appeared to be with the program now, because he wasn't going to be the only one of us naked. He picked me up and carried me over to the bed, dropping me back on the bed and throwing himself down on top of me, ripping my shirt open and practically tearing my pants down my legs, and he gave a groan of relief when he saw my lack of underwear.

"I really fucking love that you don't wear underwear," he growled, making me smirk. He slid up along my body until he could meet my mouth again, this time taking control of the kiss, and I let him. Gods, I let him kiss me dizzy, his hands roaming my body, savoring each and every dip and curve, his hands sliding up and down my legs before he pushed them apart, and I draped them across the small of his back, his hand down between his legs to wet himself before he was inside me, and I gasped, throwing my head back against the sheets, his mouth coming down on my exposed through.

I felt his fangs sink in, not hard enough to puncture skin, but enough to bruise, and I closed my eyes in bliss as he started to pump his hips against me, the sound of skin slapping my skin, wet sounds joining in a symphony of sexual charge. I moaned, raking my nails down his shoulders, listening to him hiss against my neck before he bit down, this time breaking the skin.

I cursed as he ran his tongue across the puncture wounds, and I shifted my weight, rolling us over so I was throwing Zeus back down on the bed, sitting on top of him and taking him deeper into my body. He growled, tilting his head back against the sheets as I leaned down and ran my tongue between his pecs up to his throat, where I bit down to give him a matching pair of bite marks, savoring the way it was already starting to bruise up around the injury. I sat up and focused on riding him hard, his body twitching and chest heaving beneath me. He panted hard, gripping my hips and helping me along, not that he needed to.

I could feel it getting closer and closer, the cliff I was riding towards and not prepared to stop. I could feel the peak, feel it rising higher and higher, the knot in my stomach sailing downwards, and fucking hell, I hit it, and I hit it so hard. I shouted and threw my head back, wanting the whole fucking world to hear me scream. Zeus joined my release a second later, the delicious bark escaping from deep in his chest only fueling my hunger further.

Without giving him a chance to take a breath after, I threw myself down on him and tackled his lips, and he met me full force, kissing me back hungrily. He reached down and gripped my ass hard, pulling me apart so he could shove himself in right to the root, and gods, it felt wonderful, so perfect, and I moaned against his lips to encourage further play.

He rolled us over again, pinning me down with his heavy weight, his muscles bulging with power as he picked my legs up, bringing them along his body, shifting me at an angle so he could piston his hips in deep and I cried out, reaching out to sink my fingernails into his hips, driving him closer, drawing blood down his beautiful skin. He panted hard, sweat dampening his perfect hair, his cheek pressed against my leg, his eyes hooded as he watched me, like he didn't want to miss the sight of me as I came again, moaning long and loud.

Three times, four times, five times.

I could've gone for six, but Zeus was looking a little wilted by the last time, so I relented. We ended up laying side by side on the bed. His pretty blonde hair was a wild sexual mess, sticking to the side of his face, one piece in particular sticking up over his ear, an ear I nibbled gently while I stroked his wide muscular chest, watching his pectorals twitch. He was a combination of clearly in need of band-aids and in need of some coffee. He appeared to be in a complete daze, staring up at the ceiling like he wasn't sure that what had just happened, happened.

Wanting to keep him here, I reached up and ran my fingernail along his throat to the underside of his chin, and he practically purred like a kitten, turning over to shove me down on the bed. He didn't take me again, unfortunately, but he draped himself across me, his eyes closing as he rested his head on my chest, right over my heart. I smiled, reaching up to sink my fingers into his hair, twisting those soft rays of sunlight around my fingers, nails scraping his scalp.

"I love you too," I murmured, closing my eyes. Zeus hesitated, then sat back to look at me and I looked back at him, dropping my arm over my head, my other hand stroking the edge of the sheet pulled up over my waist. Those piercing blue eyes studied my face intently, like he was searching for a sign of a lie. And he was.

He didn't understand why I was bringing it up now after all this time... But the celebration in his subconscious made me smile. He might as well be bench pressing a friggin' planet with the excitement my words drew to him.

"You didn't say it before," he said at last, his voice steady, calm, hoarse from our earlier activities, "You... No, my timing was shit, to be honest. I wasn't sure what was going to happen. Wait, shit, that sounded wrong. I didn't mean it like that. I mean, I meant what I said, before, about you, about loving you, not about the--"

"I know what you're trying to say," I said with a smirk, reaching up to trail my hand along the back of his neck, sinking into his hair and drawing him in for a gentle kiss, and he sighed before relaxing against my chest again, "You don't need to explain yourself. And... I'm sorry I didn't say anything before. Your timing was... well, your timing was great, actually. It was just everything else wasn't. My point is that now I'm more sure of how I feel, what I want."

"Speaking of which," Zeus said dryly, making me raise an eyebrow as he propped himself up again, reaching up to take my hand from his hair so he could hold it, his thumb brushing my knuckles, "How the fuck are you even able to do everything you just did? I'm surprised you didn't break your spinal cord. You were catatonic for three days."

"Three days, not three years," I answered drolly, "And, I was healed. That's all you need to know. I'm back, and I want you and for the record, Hera may have shared you, not happily, but nonetheless. And I am nothing like Hera." Zeus smirked.

"One of the many thousands of reasons you hold my heart."

"Poetry can only get you so far," I told him, holding up a finger in his face and he raised an eyebrow as I reached up to touch his lips, "If you ever, ever think you can sleep with someone who isn't me, I will not punish the person who caught your eye. I'm going to punish you, and believe me when I say you won't like what happens when I get angry, Zeus." Zeus scoffed, taking my hand again and kissing the inside of my palm now before placing it over his chest, and watched those intense blue eyes become serious.

"I meant what I said," he murmured, making me raise an eyebrow, "I love you. Nobody's made me feel this way before. Not even Hades." I blinked as those words registered in my memory as the same thing the dream Zeus had said to me, and I stared at him suspiciously now.

"You haven't been hopping into any dreams lately, have you?" I asked. Zeus scowled.

"I don't have that ability. Although, now I'm curious. What do you dream about when you dream about me?"

"You riding my cock in the kitchen, but that's not the point--"

"Seriously? In my kitchen? We eat in there--"

"Sweetheart, we're going to be doing it everywhere," I told him flatly and he paused to roll his eyes as if thinking about the idea, then he shrugged and nodded at the same time, as if the idea didn't bother him at all, "Oh, never mind. Forget it. It's hard to concentrate on anything when you're looking at me like that." I sat up, meeting his lips for a deep kiss and he groaned as I pulled back to push him down on the bed, climbing on top of him.

"Again?" He asked me, reaching up to run his fingers through my hair, letting it linger on his chest, and I smiled.

"Oh, Zeus. Weren't you the one always bragging about how much stamina you have?"

"Are you questioning my abilities?"

"Well, you sound awfully tired to me--"

"Oh, please," Zeus grunted, then flipped us over so he was pinning me down on the bed, capturing my lips in a deep kiss that left me breathless as he pulled away to stare down at me with gleaming blue eyes, a smile gracing his lips, "I'm just getting started." I smirked, reaching up to put my arms around him, pulling him close so I could nip at his ear, then I whispered huskily,

"Show me what you got."