Chapter 70: A Change of Heart
"Do you know... the pain I've felt for such a long time? Being alone for so long leaves scars. Countless and deep scars you just can't get rid of. You didn't have the chance to become that lonely man but I have. No one came to save me.. I waited for Hoseok to return to me but he came back to this scrap piece of disaster! HE CHOSE HIM OVER ME AND I NEVER KNEW HOW MUCH I LOATHED THE DAY I MADE HIM!" Seokjin lashed out and kept his wide eyes locked onto the boy being held by his past lover.
At that very moment, Jimin listened. He found that Seokjin was similar to him in some way, he just couldn't help but to feel sorry for the man. He always believed Seokjin would be the last person in this world to feel lonely due to how loved he was by the whole world. However, behind closed doors, he was the loneliest man alive.
"Seokjin, I know how you feel. Even if I didn't live through it... I know what it's like to love someone and lose them the next. Being alone... doesn't need to be forever, I lived through that too. Just... maybe not in your definition of being alone but I can say that I've been in a similar position," Jimin continued while Seokjin couldn't dare to pull his gaze away from the boy.
"You... you don't know what I'm talking about, you had Jungkook save you from yourself, who's going to save me? No one is... I'm going to stay alone whether I do this or not!" Seokjin continued. Turning around to face Jungkook's body. "He took everything from me... my time, the space in my thoughts and my best friend. If I let him go, Hoseok will never return to me but if I take him apart, Hoseok will have to return to me... he just has to and only then I will never think of being alone in my office ever again."
"How can you be so sure?" Jimin continued to ask. He knew at this point he was stalling, but he was also hoping to connect such familiar pieces to the puzzle of Seokjin's mind. He was there before and he knew Seokjin was only a confused man when it came to finding out who to blame for why he was so alone at the end of every day.
"What are you talking about? Of course I'm sure of this! Hoseok will return to me..."
"No, that can't be true," whispered the boy. Constantly fighting back his tears each time they threatened to fall at the sound of Seokjin's intentions. "If you take... J-Jungkook away, what will happen if Hoseok doesn't return to you? What will happen then? Will you just take Jungkook apart for no reason?"
"No, because there is a reason for that too. Jungkook is a dangerous and unpredictable creation. Even if Hoseok runs far away from me after I do this, I will be at ease knowing that Jungkook will no longer play a thought in my mind that keeps me up every night. That horrifying thought that he can kill anyone he longs to envy and then harm."
At that moment tears began to race from Jimin's face once again. The boy tried his best to hold them back and to listen to Seokin, but he couldn't when the creator knew nothing about how perfect Jungkook was in his eyes. "You... you don't... you don't know Jungkook! You think you do but you don't! You're only jealous of the fact that Hoseok left him for you! I know being alone is too much to handle at times but that doesn't mean you could take apart something you and Hoseok worked so hard on. Jungkook changed, he really has! It's written all over that journal, Hoseok told me so and I can vouch for Jungkook... his memories only contain me. Do I need to keep begging?"
Seokjin was now silent, his eyes fixed onto the journal he held and bounced up to Jimin's tears falling from his gaze. He didn't want to let Jungkook go, he also didn't want to admit that he blamed the robot for his solitude if Hoseok was the one who decided at the very end of the day. Who was he to become the cause of someone else losing something so precious in their life? He was confused once more as he debated and weighed out his options right there.
"Please... don't take him away from me... you don't know how great of a creation he is. I... I don't know... if Hoseok will stay with you if you don't carry on with this but I know for sure that he won't despise you from letting him go. Hoseok cares about Jungkook and if you go against him in a way to win him back, you won't succeed."
In a second where Seokjin looked back at Jungkook and over at Jimin once more, he began to catch on that he was going to be the cause of Jimin being alone again and if not, forever. In Jimin's world, Seokjin was painted out to be this villain who only strived to put himself first and once Seokjin realized that, his grip on the journal began to tighten as he listened to Jimin go on.
"He's everything I want in life and the only thing that comes to mind when I think of love. That creation is imperfect, yes... but more real than any human being out there. He can feel guilt, regret, jealousy, glee and he can feel love and respond with almost anything! You intended to make the perfect being and you have succeeded! His flaws are what makes him real and believable... please don't do this... you will only regret this moment knowing Hoseok will stray further away from you! Take a moment to think about this... how often do you have an android that can do all of those things?"
"If... the world sees their flaws reflected into a creation so perfectly, they will only despise it, humans hate being reminded of how imperfect they can be and their flaws... it's a fact and I know if I love Jungkook enough to keep him here... no matter how badly I want to take him apart for what I've been through, I will only leave the world to despise what he could become. He will never be accepted! No one will want a creation like him..."
"But I do! I don't care about what others may think! He's perfectly imperfect to me and he will be charming to others in the real world too. Not everyone is the same in that manner and that's okay! He's everything I could have ever asked for and I love him... call me crazy all you want but he saved me from being so alone after losing a creation that just couldn't comprehend my feelings! But Jungkook... Jungkook does and he is more human than most people out there."
Seokjin looked away. His eyes couldn't remain locked onto Jimin any further as he only scoffed and walked over to the monitors before sitting down in front of the screens. His mind pondered many things and in a very moment he began to weigh out his options.
Jungkook and Yoongi were very different from each other and in a way, Jimin as a human, reacted very differently to the two. He loved Yoongi before but he wasn't as near to a human like Jungkook truly was and that only left Jimin to be alone until Jungkook came in and kept him sane. Even making him better in so many ways. Seokjin decoded this as if it was an experiment, he compared the feelings Jimin had for both and knew Jungkook had to be the best creation he could ever have in order to make Jimin feel this way. Seokjin only wished he didn't blame Jungkook for all of his problems when it came to being alone.
The man turned to the screens and clicked onto the memory folder where every cover to the recorded videos contained Jimin smiling in every one of them. He looked at one and selected it, hopping into such a beautiful and personal memory Jungkook kept labeled as important. Something no other androids could do to their own system.
Within the memory footage, The two were cooking in the kitchen. The room was filled with the couple's giggles while Jimin continued to cry to himself, watching the memory through Jungkook's eyes. The laughter and endless smiles that was mirrored onto Jimin's face was enough to display how happy he was to be around Jungkook.
Seokjin spoke no word as he looked at the date of the memory and allowed it to play before opening the journal and finding the entry that matched it. Reading it to himself as his whispers pronounced the loving words Jungkook used to describe Park Jimin.
"He is beautiful... How can a human being so beautiful and precious exist in a scary world like this? If he was nature, he would be the beautiful pink skies at every sunset... if he was nature he would be the calming breeze of the ocean that brushes past the beach ever so slightly. Park Jimin, I love you... I can't believe how much I envied you before but now that I grasp onto the human understanding of love, I know my love for you is something so true... I want nothing more than to make you happy every waking moment and to be the cause of every addictive giggle of yours when we joke around in the kitchen as we cook," Seokjin read to himself and quickly turned the pages to see another entry while the current memory continued to play for Jimin.
"I didn't know... how I looked in his eyes and how much time he took looking at me while I looked away," Jimin said to himself as Yoongi was speechless, trying to comprehend what made these memories so special to the point where tears raced from Jimin's eyes. "He paints me out to be his world. I wish he knew that if he could step into my mind, he would see only himself too..."
Seokjin couldn't help but to listen to Jimin's words followed by the sniffles the boy made as he tried his best to believe Seokjin would spare his lover. He was confused and didn't know what else was going to happen next, but he had only hoped that nothing bad could happen next.
At the same time, Seokjin's attention went back to the journal as he began to read a new entry. "I didn't know it was possible... I was able to experience a bond with Park Jimin when we engaged in sexual intercourse for the very first time. I was bound to him but even so, androids would just become bound to their humans and cling to them. I still cling onto him but during that, I was able to feel his heart race, his words reach new meaning and his eyes yearn for me and only me. If I could paint that moment, only a red heart will fill my canvas because that moment alone... must be the definition of human love. I don't want to use him to gain more human feelings and I don't want to envy him... I want what he displays in those eyes of his each time he says my name. I want love too and I want to give him the same love he gives to me. Wouldn't that be amazing? All I ever was... a creation that could not love the way a human could, that's all I ever was... but now, I feel it and I am so sure of it, I know this is the love humans share for one another."
Just then, Seokjin accidentally pressed the arrow key which caused the memory to jump into the latest one. Instantly, the room was met with the ocean crashing onto the shore and a view of Jimin gazing off into the ocean as he had his own thoughts to organize. Just then, a log of thoughts popped up and began to display words across the small box. This captured what Jungkook thought at that very moment.
"I feel so guilty... so, so guilty! I don't know what to say to him but just look at how charming and perfect he is. Ah, I can't escape this! I didn't feel this guilty before but now I do... I want to tell him everything but I don't want to lose him! What should I do? I can't lose him... I don't want to lose him, if I do, I don't know how I will long to carry on with myself! I don't want to lose him... not my Jimin..." read Jungkook's voice within the thought box of the memory.
"Jungkook..." Jimin's voice called out to him within the screen and left the boy to gaze up at the screen that only contained him. Listening to Jungkook's thoughts that were revealed at that very moment.
"Yes, Jimin?" Jungkook's sweet voice spoke out as the conversation pursued.
There, Jimin looked towards Seokjin and suddenly began to notice how intrigued he was. Looking at every interaction Jungkook had with his human and listening to the thought box that played at the time of the memory. Displaying every feature of a human quite well to the point where it shocked the creator and even, aimed him towards a change of heart.
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