Chapter 62: Acceptance

"Why... Why are you crying?" Jimin asked, not really expecting this reaction from the android. "Jungkook... did I say something wrong? Are you okay?" A sudden rush of worry overcame Jimin as he pulled the android closer and began to wipe his tears despite the shocks emitting from his eyes. Even through this, Jungkook never stopped cupping his human's face. Jimin just couldn't see that Jungkook was finally hearing the words he never knew he longed to hear and was currently drowning in the guilt he had towards his many regrets.

"No... no... you didn't say anything wrong... I... I just... I'm sorry..." he went on, trying to gather words as he began to flinch at the shocks coming from his eyes. While he tried his best to stop crying to himself, Jimin continued to dry those tears that escaped his eyes, never wanting to shame Jungkook for feeling this way. "I'm sorry..."

"Why are you apologizing? Jeon Jungkook, you're perfect just the way you are and you're everything I need. I love you so much," Jimin continued to say all the right words, causing Jungkook to turn his face away from Jimin and try to dry his own tears without the help of his partner. "Jungkook..."

"Jimin... you... you can't love me now..."

"What are you talking about?"

"Jimin... you can't love me if I'm not fully human... don't you want me to be human? To be as close to being a human? I'm not worthy of your love... of your human definition of love when I'm still like this! Crying and causing painful sparks to emit from the corners of my eyes with every tear that escapes! Jimin, I'm... I'm not good enough to be loved and you know that," Jungkook cried, breaking himself even more with every word that was told to him long before.

The sad little creation was created with these words being played out in his head constantly to the point where he believed he could only be loved if he was fully human. Thus created his endless hunger and chase to finally become perfect if he succeeded in becoming a living person. That was the only way he was told he would be good enough for once in his life.

"Jungkook... you're good enough... What are you talking about? You're perfect. Believe me when I tell you this, I love you just the way that you are right now, you don't have to be human, you don't have to change a thing!" Jimin continued, drying a tear that escaped his worried gaze as he moved in to cup his Android's face carefully and slowly moving his face towards his. "You're perfect to me..."

"I... I can't believe it..." Jungkook whispered and tried his best to dry his own tears while he couldn't dare to look Jimin in the eyes while the guilt was also eating him up inside. "I knew.. if I was human enough... I would be loved. It was always like this... when... When Seokjin and Hoseok was making me... was creating me, they only picked out my imperfections and said I'm not good enough or close to being human. I never had their love... their love was only for the others, never me. Jimin, I thought you wouldn't love me until I was human enough for you. It's always been that way... you don't know how hard I tried to be something I'm not... you don't know the fucked up things I've done to behave the way that I do now and that's only close to being human as I could ever be..."

Jimin continued to guide Jungkook's face towards his, looking him in the eyes and drying his endless tears. When Jungkook was finally able to calm down for a bit, Jimin knew it wouldn't be the end so he looked him in the eyes and said the words Jungkook needed to hear. "Jeon Jungkook, you don't have to be human for me to love you. Do I need to be an android for you to understand me?"

"No, Jimin... you're perfect... you're everything I admire and everything I need."

"Then, you understand when I say you're perfect just the way you are. Don't change anything about yourself, Jungkook. You are good enough, you are perfect and you are loved... I don't want you to chase after something so ridiculous," Jimin mentioned as his hands never seemed to pull away from cupping his Android's gentle face. "Yoongi... had the same issue. Do you want to know why he deactivated? Because he's not human. Because he tried so hard to understand and become human, he messed himself up over it! He's not human and you're not human, never was and never will be! But you know what?"

"Jimin... what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that it's okay! That's completely okay because I don't care if I have forever with someone who isn't human like me. I don't care, it doesn't bother me! Because, as long as I have you, I don't care about you not being close to a human. You're more real to me than anyone else in this world... you don't have to be human for me to love you.... I already love you. Don't tell me you're not good enough when you're absolutely perfect."

Jungkook was speechless, he stood there, watching Jimin tear up at those words he picked from the bottom of his heart. The love he had for the android was so true, it was incomparable with anything in this world. Jungkook watched as Jimin moved in close and brought him into a hug, using this to bury his face against his partner's chest. Wanting nothing more than to be lost in his embrace.

"Jimin... I... I love you too..." Jungkook whispered as he felt the curves to Jimin's lips pull a smile just over his chest. "But... I feel guilty."

"You shouldn't feel guilty, Jungkook. You're worthy of my love and you can love too," Jimin whispered, unaware of what Jungkook meant.

"Jimin... I feel guilty because of the things I've done in order to feel human... Jimin, I envy you," Jungkook whispered, beginning to peel away at the many things that made him feel so horrible before. He knew that if he truly loved Jimin, he wouldn't hold onto this secret any longer.

"What are you talking about?" Jimin asked curiously, but never wanting to break away from the hug he had with his partner. He wanted to live on in this blinding world longer than he could be capable of living in it.

"I... I envy your life. How you can live your life, breathe, sleep, eat... do everything most people out there take for granted. You're perfect without even trying, the idea of you is everything to worship and you don't know how much I've envied that from the very beginning. Jimin, I envied you to the point where I.... I've done... things... inexcusable things just so I could be as good as you. All of my new features are modeled after you... my breathing and the beat of my heart. Jimin I'm not worthy of your love... I've... I've been obsessed with humans since the very beginning because I just wanted to be what I couldn't become." Jungkook went on as the growls to his whispers went on, constantly trying to hold back every choke to his sobs.

"What...did you do..?" Jimin asked, trying to keep himself collected in a moment like this as the grip he had around his partner's body began to lessen, yet, he only dared to keep his arms wrapped around his partner no matter what. Still clinging onto the perfect world he longed to remain blinded by.

"Before I knew you...I... I harmed Namjoon when he used to work in the department, all because I was jealous, obsessive, and envious... the things I do to get what I want is what scares me. I didn't realize it all until I began to love you. When I began to love you I realized that everything I've done to you and others before, manipulative things and even... concerning things... was something I couldn't bear to live with. Jimin, don't hate me... please don't hate me..." Jungkook continued as his arms wrapped around Jimin to keep him in place. "Please... please don't hate me..."

"Jungkook... don't talk like that, you're scaring me..." Jimin continued. Of course, he knew the android was made this way and the man was more than ready to hear the many things that would deem him flawed in his world. So far, Jimin was already set back due to the fact that Jungkook did harm Namjoon and was the cause of his scar. That was something Jimin just couldn't get over. On the other hand, the pieces began to connect and now, that accusation he had in his head about Jungkook watching him in his sleep, became something possible and that's what left Jimin nervous. "Tell me..." he managed to whisper as Jungkook pushed himself to speak.

"All those nights... all those bone chilling nights that had you paranoid from the sense of gaze detection that always followed you... Jimin, I... I was the cause of it," Jungkook whispered as Jimin pressed his head against his shoulder and began to shake his head and deny it softly.

"N-No..."

"It's true... I was the one watching you every night... studying you and taking notes of the way you lived and coming back the next day to the feeling of you clinging onto me like I was needed. You don't know how great it felt to be needed by someone for the first time," Jungkook went on, clinging onto Jimin's body and hugging him close. Even if he knew Jimin's grip had weakened, he longed to feel needed by his partner again so he kept the man in his arms. "I-It didn't stop there, I was envious of you at the beginning, constantly manipulating you like I would do to others just to have my way. Tampering with my emotions by switching the colors of my gaze to sell my act... all done to get what I wanted. But then... when I began to love you, I realized that I... I've been the problem from the very beginning... I've been shaped into an abomination and I've only changed for you..."

"Jungkook..."

"Jimin, say something. I-I need you to tell me I'm not worthy of your love now that you know my flaws... Now that you know I'm nowhere near being a human. I... I can't be good for you. I'm not even a human."

"I..." Jimin whispered as his cold hands began to cling onto the puffy jacket of his partner. "I don't like it when you talk like that..." Jimin mentioned as he couldn't dare to look into the blue gaze Jungkook would carry and remind him of those endless nights he spent afraid of the unknown watching him. "How long... have they had you thinking like that, Jungkook? You... you had no other choice but to think like this... it's not your fault but at the same time... you had no idea. I knew you were the one watching me... your eyes told me that story long ago but I've only denied it because I love you. But now, I can't excuse that from you. I want you to know that your behavior isn't right, I tell you this just so you wouldn't think it's okay to do it again. After all this time, you've been blinded by the desperation of being human... you just need someone to help you, someone to love you... and care for you the right way," Jimin whispered, trying to process his own words and the things Jungkook confessed to. It was all too much to process so he was sure to address it all one at a time.

"How could you push yourself to say that after everything I've done?"

"Jungkook, I love you... nothing will change that. I know that you weren't cared for and no one told you from wrong or right, no one loved you the way that you were and that only left you to become desperate for validation... desperation can be a horrible thing... but it doesn't have to be this way, you don't have to be a danger to anyone. Even humans have their flaws and even humans can change themselves to be better, I know you can do it too without needing to be anything closer to being human. You just need love..." Jimin assured the creation, slowly pulling his face away from his partner's chest and looking him in the eyes. "To support you, to show you that you are needed, appreciated, and to grow with it and I'm going to be here with you until you become a better creation the right way... no more pursuit of unattainable goals. Doesn't that sound better?"

Jungkook watched as Jimin looked him in the eyes with tears falling down his face. Jungkook could tell that his own words scared Jimin, to understand that the creation was made out to be a monster by the way he was created, Jungkook was never told that he was good enough, he was at an endless chase to finally be accepted as a human, only then would he be loved by his creators for once. That's all he ever wanted, to be loved and accepted but only then, Jimin was the one who gave him everything he could ever ask for, that was what dropped him down on his knees and made him ashamed of the things he's done in the past. Jimin was so sure the android was aware of his own flaws that he was able to feel guilt unlike most people out there. The way Jungkook cried over his regrets showed Jimin that Jungkook didn't mean any harm from his actions; he was completely unaware of his bad behavior before. Constantly blinded by the longing to be loved and accepted just like anyone else.

"You... you won't throw me away...?" Jungkook asked once more as Jimin only shook his head and cupped his gentle face.

"Of course not. Unlike your creators, I will love you, hold you accountable, and help you the right way because that's what people do for the ones they love. That's what I am willing to do for you."

"Oh, Jimin, you don't know how long I've waited to hear those words. I... I love you," Jungkook whispered and dried his own tears as he brought the human into his embrace once more. Finally understanding what love truly meant in a definition where it was not only for humans, but for him to understand and feel as well. "I'm not built to feel...but with you, it's possible. You've made everything possible for a creation that's not even close to being human. Before that used to bother me but now... it doesn't and I'm glad I can finally accept it now."

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