TUESDAY, 18:45

- NEW MESSAGE FROM: oldhyun💖 -
(jae's phone)

oldhyun💖
something doesn't feel right

oldhyun💖
are you okay?

Me
mhm

Me
i'm great

oldhyun💖
you're lying.

oldhyun💖
please, just tell me the truth. i love and care about you, i just want to help

Me
i'm good, okay?

Me
what about you? has your dad done anything today?

oldhyun💖
would you listen to me?

oldhyun💖
fucking hell

oldhyun💖
i'm not important right now

oldhyun💖
i'm worried about you, okay?

oldhyun💖
despite my own issues, i've always been so worried

oldhyun💖
you've never been quite alright. and i think i made things worse when i was a dickbag to you a few weeks ago

oldhyun💖
let me help you

oldhyun💖
i can't sit here and act like everything's okay when i know there's something wrong

oldhyun💖
please. tell me.

Me
i feel so guilty

Me
but

Me
i want to die

Me
...it's always been that way, i guess

Me
even though things are sorta okay right now, i can't help but want to jump off the bridge downtown

Me
pick up a knife in my kitchen and just, end it all

Me
i hate it so much

Me
things are okay, things are fine, but why am
/i/ not fine?

oldhyun💖
you shouldn't feel guilty, it's not your fault

oldhyun💖
it's just how you feel. that's it.

oldhyun💖
it fucking sucks but it's just how it is regardless of how life is going

oldhyun💖
mental illness doesn't care about situtations, yeah?

Me
i guess you're right..

oldhyun💖
mhm. i know i can't fix things, but i want you to promise me something

Me
what?

oldhyun💖
you'll try.

oldhyun💖
you'll try to stay here, no matter how much the idea of ending it all tugs at you

oldhyun💖
because so many people love you

oldhyun💖
/i/ love you.

oldhyun💖
and i want you to try to find the things to live for.

oldhyun💖
i know you're a fighter

oldhyun💖
you hate giving up

oldhyun💖
so please, don't give up. not on your life.

oldhyun💖
because we're both so young, and full of opportunities

oldhyun💖
and i know, deep inside, you want to live.

oldhyun💖
you really do want to live.

Me
i do.

Me
i'll try.

-