❝hold me like nobody else does
Do I get the best of your love?
Even when our bodies are drunk
Is it me you're stumbling from?❞

Just to have you hold me again. Wouldn't that be nice. The warmth of another living body holding my own the only feeling I ever want esspecially right now. Any person could hug me now with passion and meaning but nothing will ever compare to you

❝Forget the words that you said
With your fingers spell out my name
Take away the sky in our breath
Remember love is a game, love is a game❞

Just one more time would I wish to be with you. Just for you to take away the pain for one minute. It's all i want to die slightly happy. The words you shouted don't matter to me as much as they did before. Bruises go away but scars don't. Your words scattered bruises along me but your love left a scar straight through me.

❝ I know there's nothing that I can do to make you stay
But one thing I know that will always remain
And that's the aftertaste
The aftertaste ❞

The darn taste in my mouth I get when your not around, when I think of you my body limps and my emotions exprire as i fall into a scary state of mind. Everything we did happening in my mind from the moment I spilt my ice cream on your favourite cactus jumper and you laughed at how awkward i was to the day you shouted at me relentlessly and left, the door slamming so loudly neighbours were concerned.

❝In the midst I'm seeing your face
And I can't believe this is fake
Blow the blossom into your room
As you throw me in disarray❞

Sometimes I look in the mirror and you're there looking right at me with teary eyes and I want to jump through the mirror and hug you and then I realise I'm looking at my own god damn refeletion and that my minds just endlessly playing tricks on me. It's like I want myself to suffer slowly.

❝ There's a button that I need to press
There's a face that I need to kiss
Come on, give me your heart and your head
Make you conscious never resist, never resist❞

I like to believe I would be happy to move on or even better get you back. If I ask kindly will you?  If I fall to my hands and knees and literally offer everything I have including my lifeless body will you take me back. Will you let me kiss you? I've done it before millions of times, for you it'll be the same but it'll feel like God's touch to me. Please take me back.

❝ Don't break, don't fade
While we're not real, we're never too late
Make time, it won’t hurt
Said I’ll go now, but you said it first❞

I do still wonder where you've gone to, you left me after all. Have you found someone new straight away or have you left and gone home. You don't call this place home anymore like you used to. I would let you call this place home again. I'd welcome you in with open arms but I know you wouldn't except them you'd either shout or cry. The only emotion you feel when you see me is anger and sadness because when I saw you last those were the eyes I saw. Glossy grey eyes that were alomst grey and red. Bloodshot eyes that stare into me every night

❝I know there's nothing that I can do to make you stay
But one thing I know that will always remain
And that's the aftertaste
The aftertaste❞

I saw you yesterday, you were on a date with another man in a café you said you'd never step in. His hair blonde and his beard long. He had an accent too, yours is better. You had styled your hair differently I noticed and you smiled at this man. Blushed also. I remember when you did that with me. Your eyes weren't glossy, they shone as you stared marvelled by this man as he talked. You looked at him with such intrigue as he spoke. You used to look at me like that too. As I stared I noticed your body language hadn't changed but you had. You looked fake. Your hair differant, in a hipster café, wearing clothes that you would say you'd rather die than wear and your face. The way it just looked made me realise how fake you had become. This man you sat opposite to the real reason.

❝I know there's nothing that I can do to make you stay
But one thing I know that will always remain
And that's the aftertaste
The aftertaste❞

That same day you looked at me and we made eye contact. The guy hadn't noticed well he didn't at first. Our eyes stayed locked together, I felt so much as i looked at you. I wanted to rush over there and kiss you, hold you, love you but I knew I had to let go. I broke the eye contact between us both and you looked away also

❝ aftertaste ❞

I felt myself tremble and I couldn't move, I might have been shaking for all i know but when I felt a calming hand on my back I was brought back to reality but when I saw your smile I crashed again

❝ aftertaste ❞

"Excuse me sir are you alright?" You asked so delicately as you spoke.  It's like you had never even met me before like we were two strangers. I didn't want to believe my eyes but it was really you there mocking me with that perfect smile

❝ aftertaste ❞

"Yeah" I barely whispered to you. I had no reason but also every reason to hate you. It's complicated. The man you sat with also came to me and sat down in an opposite chair and tried to talk to me but I wasn't listening. I don't want this right now, your doing this on purpose. your trying to torture me.

❝ aftertaste ❞

"Please leave me alone" I whispered again and then you asked me if  I wanted to talk in private and nodded hoping this was my moment to finally tell you how I felt and that i needed you back. You leaded me outside to a secluded area

❝ aftertaste ❞

"Not nice is it Mark, to see your lover, the man you love with someone else, with someone completely differant. It hurts doesn't it. Your gonna beg for me back Mark, that's why your here but I have to say is"

❝ One thing i know that will always remain and thats the aftertaste ❞

I should have never undestermated your love, your genius and your power. I should have never been born, I should have never cheated.

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This is one of my favourite things I have written in a long time.