Entering Lord Koopa
(Meanwhile, the scene cuts to Klungo is torturing the Fish. He's continually dunking him in a bowl of soy sauce. As ruler, Lord Koopa walks in)
(Forget that King Koopa wears a crown.)
Lord Koopa: That's enough. He's ready to talk.
(The Fish is pulled out of the soy sauce and slammed down onto a fish bowl. Koopa laughs as he walks over to the table. However, when he reaches the table we see that it goes up to his eyes. He clears his throat and the table is lowered)
Koopa: (he picks up the sushi cook book) I like salmon roll, and tuna roll. Yummy.
Fish (From The Cat In The Hat):
Fish: You're a monster!
Koopa: I'm not the monster here. You are. You and the rest of that cartoon, comic, video game, and book trash, poisoning my perfect world. Now, tell me! Where are the others?!
Fish: Eat me! [He kicks Koopa's nose.]
Koopa: Ouch! I've tried to be fair to you creatures. Now my patience has reached its end! Tell me or I'll-- [he makes as if to pull off the Fish's dorsal fins.]
Fish: No, no, not my dorsal fins! Not my precious dorsal fins!
Koopa: All right then. Who's hiding them?!
Fish: Well, even if I told you where they were you'd never be able to get rid of them. Your power extends to the only kingdom. You have no control over it. You're not even a real king!
Koopa: (Growls) Oh, I will be. (to Klungo) Klungo, dunk him again.
Klungo: Yes, your highness.
Fish: Oh no! Not again!
(But they are interrupted by Mouser who walks through the door)
Mouser: My lord, we found it.
Koopa: Finally! Then what are you waiting for? Bring it in.
(Koopa troopas enter carrying something that is covered by a sheet. They hang up whatever it is and remove the sheet. It is the Magic Mirror)
Fish: (in awe) Ohhhh...
Koopa: The magic mirror...
Fish: Don't tell him anything!
Koopa: Okay, that does it! (Koopa picks him up and throws him into a trash can with a lid)
Fish: This is where they buried my brother!
Koopa: Let's forgot about the other cartoon, comic, video game and book creatures hiding around the kingdom. Anyways, I just wanted find the mirror. (turns to a few Koopa troopas) Bring the talking fish to the forest where I exiled the other freaks. He's being too annoying. (turns to the Mirror) Evening. Mirror, mirror on the wall. Am I not the most perfect king of them all?
Mirror: Well, technically you're not a king.
Koopa: Uh, Klungo? (Klungo holds up a hand mirror and smashes it with his fist) You were saying?
Mirror: What I mean is you're not a king, but you can become one. All you have to do is marry a princess.
Koopa: Go on.
Mirror: (chuckles nervously) So, just sit back and relax, my lord, because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes. And here they are! Bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shut-in from France. She likes sushi and hot tubbing anytime. Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two abusive stepsisters. Please welcome Cinderella. (shows picture of Cinderella)
Mirror: Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the land of fancy. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. Just kiss her dead, frozen lips and find out what a live wire she is. Come on. Give it up for Snow White! (shows picture of Snow White)
Mirror: And last, but certainly not last, bachelorette number three is a demon woman name Vaggie who was guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling lava! But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes pina colads and getting caught in the rain. Yours for the rescuing, Princess Pomni! (shows picture of Princess Pomni)
Mirror: So will it be bachelorette number one, bachelorette number two or bachelorette number three?
Koopa Troopas: Two! Two! Three! Three! Two! Two! Three!
Koopa: Three? One? Three?
Klungo: Three! [holds up 2 fingers] Pick number three, my lord!
Koopa: Okay, okay, uh, number three!
Mirror: Lord Koopa, you've chosen Princess Pomni.
["Escape (The Pina Colada Song)" plays as the crowd applauds]
Koopa: Princess Pomni. She's perfect. All I have to do is just find someone who can go...
Mirror: But I probably should mention the little thing that happens at night.
Koopa: I'll do it.
Mirror: Yes, but after sunset...
Koopa: Silence! I will make this Princess Pomni my queen, and DuLoc will finally have the perfect king! Mouser, assemble the Koopa Troopas. We're going to have a tournament. [smiles evilly]
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