Yaaay so happy that I get to update twice in a weekend!

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Chapter 26

Manhattan, NY, United States - April 10th, 2021

I watch Matteo's back as he walks over to the furthest corner of the terrace that overlooks the courtyard between the buildings.

He sits down on the couch, then throws his cigarette pack on the table. Stops looking for his lighter so he can watch me taking a seat instead. There is another couple on the other side, a man smoking by the door, and three girls who are two couches away.

"The one in the back of the club was closer." I tell him because it's easier to talk and not think about us being alone.

"This one is more private." He answers, then leans back into the couch. "You didn't tell me you have a new bodyguard."

The words 'how have you been' get stuck halfway up my throat. Making small talk with him after a long period of not seeing each other has never been his thing.

"A bodyguard?"

He motions his head towards the door, where the man is smoking.

It's Alexander, of fucking course.

How is he even getting into VIP? And why didn't I notice who he was? And, also, how does Matteo know he's my bodyguard?

"How did you figure out that he's my bodyguard?"

"At first I thought he was a middle-aged creep who liked staring at you, but then I saw his earpiece when we passed him to go to the bar that one time."

Yes, I do remember that one time. When he unashamedly put his lips right up to my ear and told me, just me, to accompany him to the bar. I remember because my heart was racing with excitement for the first time in forever, and I also vividly remember it because Ines gave me the dirtiest look I've ever gotten from anyone. What I don't remember is ever passing by Alexander.

"You can't be serious."

He shrugs. "Makes sense. You were attacked in the subway and your father wants to protect you."

His discernment amazes me.

"Do you think it's normal to hire somebody to follow me around and watch my every move?"

"I think it's normal for a father to want to protect his daughter the best he can."

I lean over to take his lighter. "You sound just like him."

He meets me halfway, lighter ready between two fingers. "And you sound just like my sister."

I frown. "Does she also have a bodyguard?"

He smirks as he takes the glass up to his lips. "Not that she knows of."

"I can take care of myself though."

He shakes his head. "If someone came up to you right now and pointed a gun at you, what would you do?"

He asks it so effortlessly that it surprises me. It's an easy question because I already know the answer.

"Grab the barrel, punch him in the neck, take his gun, then knee him in the balls."

I have practiced this with Aleksi and Nick so many times I could do it in my sleep.

He looks intrigued. "How do you know this?"

"From self defense classes that my father arranged."

He nods, mind going somewhere else.

"But don't you think it's crazy?" I push. It's already been five months, but sometimes it's still difficult to be myself when I know I have someone hired by my father watching me.

"No. Rich people have bodyguards all the time."

"I feel like I'm being spied on by my father."

"Think of him as more of a guardian. And since you didn't even notice him tonight it means he's doing a good job of being invisible to you."

"No. I feel like I can't do anything."

"What do you want to do but can't when he's around?"

I feel my cheeks getting hot at the thought.

I'm not saying that I would kiss Matteo if Alexander wasn't here, but not being able to do it makes me want it even more. I don't want my father to know who I'm kissing, especially if it's Matteo. He's always been off whenever it came to Matteo.

The corners of his lips turn upward, so my eyes go back to his face.

"What?"

"You can kiss me even with him watching." He grins even wider when he catches my reaction and throws his hands up in defense. "I wouldn't mind."

I smile. I missed him being direct with me, so unashamedly Matteo. I look at his tattoos, and I wonder what he must think of me checking him out so often.

"You have a lot of tattoos now." I derail the subject.

"I have a lot of skin."

I look at his arm. "Do they all have meanings?" I ask, remembering what Ines said about them.

He nods. "Most of them."

"Tell me about a random one."

He straightens his arms and looks at them, then places a finger on the skull with a halo over its head.

"The duality of man."

I stare at him, then at the tattoo once more.

"The idea that both darkness and light can coexist in one person. The law of relativity. Good and bad can coexist."

"Of course they can coexist, if they didn't coexist they wouldn't exist. There's no good without bad, no darkness without light."

He takes a drag out of his cigarette, happily engaging with what I just said. "Are you explaining the law of relativity to me?"

I shake my head. "No, because it's not the law of relativity. I'm talking about the law of polarity; the law of relativity is something else."

He bites his lip to tone down his smile. "What is it then?"

I feel like he already knows what it is but just wants to test me. I'll gladly enlighten him at any time of the day.

"If it was the law of relativity, the meaning of your tattoo would've been that there is no good or bad, and it's our perception of it that defines one or the other." I don't back down from his stare. "So, it does mean that good and bad can coexist, but that's not the law of relativity. It's the law of polarity."

He nods and I feel like I've been talking too much.

"Sorry for talking too much."

He frowns. "I like listening to you talk."

"Okay."

His eyes go over my head, to where Alexander must be standing by the door.

"Does he ever leave you alone?"

I shake my head. "I don't think so. I like to just not see if he is. It's easier to pretend that he doesn't exist."

He puts his cigarette out in the ashtray than stands up, eyes in Alexander's direction.

"What are you doing?" I panic and reach out for his hand to grab his wrist.

"I want to talk to him."

"About what?!" I whisper-shriek.

He shrugs. "To tell him that I know he's your bodyguard and that you're safe with me."

My mouth falls open, but I don't let go of him.

"Why?"

"So he can give you some space."

"I don't think it'll work."

Matteo smirks. "Just let me talk to him."

He doesn't seem angry or the least bit inclined to become violent, and there's not even a little bit of anger or malice in his voice. Just genuine honesty.

"What if he doesn't listen to you?"

His eyes become even prettier as he smiles. "Then it means he's a good bodyguard."

I let go of his wrist and reach for the cigarettes, so I won't have to look at the scene that's about to unfold.

My phone keeps me busy for the entire time it takes him to come back. A text from Isabella comes in right on time.

Isabella: I went home. Long story, going to sleep now

Isabella: there's a lot we have to catch up on

Valentina: alright, gnn

Matteo's footsteps catch my attention. Shit, that was a short conversation.

"So?" I nervously ask.

"He's a good bodyguard."

"What did you say to him?"

"What I told you I would. That I figured out he's your bodyguard, and that he can chill when I'm with you because I won't hurt you."

"And what did he say?"

"That he appreciates my courage to approach him, but that he's not going anywhere."

He doesn't sit back down though, and I feel like he's expecting me to do something.

"Sorry."

"Why do you keep apologizing to me?"

"I don't know."

He extends his hand. "Come on, let's go back inside."

I nod and let him pull me off the couch, making a point of staring right at Alexandar as we pass him to head back inside. He smiles at me and nods his head, and the last thing I see him do is him putting out the cigarette against the wall.

We join the rest of the group on the dancefloor, and all it takes are the first few songs to realize that for the first time in forever, I am having fun. We're all dancing and singing, and

With Matteo next to me, it's easy not to care about anything else. He effortlessly dances along with me, even spinning me around at some point, his hands lingering exactly like I want them to.

For once, I am not thinking about Alexander watching me, my father's need for control, nor that something could go wrong and put me in danger.

People are ready to leave around 3an, and despite Ines and Aiden begging me to stay with them, I decide to go home as well. Partying with the Italians has always been more fun than with anyone else. Tonight just proves that. All Ines and Aiden did all night before Matteo appeared was to complain how they couldn't find anyone they wanted to go home with.

Vinnie, Eddie and Marco take one taxi, and then Aurora, Pia, and her boyfriend climb into the next.

Matteo asks me if I want to share one with him and who am I to say no?

"Let's call an Uber instead of getting a taxi." He suggests.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Let's take the bus."

He looks like I've just insulted him. I wonder if he's ever been on a bus in his entire life.

"Why would we do that?"

I cross my arms, not liking that he's fighting me on this so much. Fuck it, I'll just tell the truth.

"Because it's warm outside and I don't want to go home yet." I don't add the part where I want to continue spending time with him like this.

He blinks at me, eyes going soft at the edges. "Okay."

He pulls the hood over his head and sits down on the bench, then leans back against the glass wall and shoves his hands in his pockets.

"What?" I ask when I see him looking at me expectantly.

He raises his brows and nods over to the empty space next to him.

I smile and sit down unnecessarily close to him. He smirks because he knows.

"Do you want to see my 2021 vision board?" I ask.

"Do I have a choice?"

I wave him off and pull out my phone to show him my Pinterest board.

"Travel, clothes, tattoos, body, home, love." He reads the sections over my shoulder, stopping at the love part for a second too long. "Quotes." He continues.

"Which one do you want to see?"

He shrugs. "Your favorite one."

I immediately find it, then look at him. "It's not my favorite quote in life, but it's applicable for 2021."

He grins. "You don't need to make any disclaimers for me, Valentina."

I lean in so our shoulders are touching to show him my screen.

"Everything is always working out for me." I read.

He moves his head so he can look at me, without moving his body away.

"That's not a quote."

"Yes, it is."

"It's an affirmation."

"Most quotes are."

He shakes his head. "It's not poetic."

"So what?"

"I thought it would be poetic."

"You give me one then."

"For you to keep in mind in 2021?"

I shrug and nod. "Sure."

He leans his head back to look at the sky and think for a minute. It doesn't take him as long as I'd expected for his eyes to find mine again.

"Risking is better than regretting."

The words trigger something deep within me.

"I like mine better." I tell him and lock my phone when I see the bus approaching.

He gets in after me and we sit down in the last row.

"You're aware that this bus trip will take longer than an Uber, right?" he asks after a couple of minutes of silence.

"Yes. It's twenty minutes."

"Okay. Then let's go to your apartment."

"Who said you're coming to my apartment?"

He smiles. "I just meant I'll drop you off at home and then I'll go to my own place. With an Uber, most likely. Taking the bus is just a waste of time." he looks at my face. "If I'm by myself."

I nod. "Alright."

The thought of him coming over is too much for me to handle right now. On the other end of the spectrum, the fact that he hasn't even tried to make a move tonight is a little alarming and disappointing. I try to convince myself that he's only being respectful, not that he already lost interest.

We both obviously know it's going to happen. Eventually.

There's no point in denying that I am going to fuck Matteo Giudice, one way or another, and that I am most probably going to enjoy it, and that it's highly likely that he'll be the best I've ever had.

Enjoying it too much is what I'm afraid of. If I like it too much, just like I like him too much already, then I'll want more of it. 

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