Here is chapter 14 :D

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Matteo

Manhattan, New York, USA – January 1st, 2021

People start leaving around two. First it's nearly all of Ariana's girlfriends except Marco's girl and Gabriela. Then it's Marco, Eddie, and the girl twenty minutes later. Pia, her, boyfriend, and Aurora leave around three, followed by Luca, then Aleksi, fifteen minutes later.

Valentina and Isabella are still chatting amongst themselves by the balcony door, completely immersed in their own world. This leaves Vinnie and me stranded on the other side of the room on the couch with Ariana and her friend. We all know she's still here because she's been hitting on Vinnie all night.

I'm honestly over it, so I wait ten minutes before I finally say I'm too tired. Vinnie also agrees, saying he'll order himself an Uber.

Valentina and Isabella decide to go with the same car, so I walk them to the door while Ariana and Gabriela go to the bathroom.

Vinnie helps Valentina get her jacket on, and I watch the side of her face as she struggles to get the zipper right. She stops and sighs, way past tipsy once again.

Her eyes find mine and I step over to her, before I zip up her jacket in one move.

"Thank you." She says and gives me a shy, lopsided smile that I've never seen before.

Her eyes are warm and pure it makes my chest ache for some reason.

"Uber's here." Vinnie announces, then comes to hug me goodbye.

Isabella kisses my cheek as she steps out after him, followed by Valentina who smiles at me again.

"Thank you for having us." She jokingly says and I wonder if she knows that I'd have her come by any time she wants. All the time if she'd like to.

I can still smell her perfume after I've shut the door.

As I head over to my bedroom, the two who are still here come out of the bathroom.

"Are you really going to sleep now?" Ariana pouts.

"Yes."

"Fine, I'll get my driver to come pick Gabi up."

Gabriela nods. "Give me ten minutes."

"Okay."

I pretend I'm asleep when Ariana finally comes to bed, less than ten minutes later. She gets in behind me and throws a leg over my knees, her other hand coming to my stomach, then moving south.

"I know you're not sleeping." She seductively whispers into my ear as she strokes my very soft dick.

"No." I answer, wondering how many minutes are left until I crack.

She starts kissing my neck and that does it.

I turn around and sit up properly.

"I think we need to stop this."

She gapes at me, and I'm not sure whether she's processing what I'm saying to her.

"Stop what?"

I motion between us.

"Excuse me?"

Her tone climbs a few decibels.

"I just don't feel it anymore." I explain.

And it's true. I'm bored. It's mundane, even the sex, and honest to God I'd rather spend my time playing on my PS5 rather than having to listen to her gossiping about people and things I don't give a fuck about.

She cocks an eyebrow, looking more annoyed than angry. "Just like that?"

"Just like that."

Even breaking up with her (can it be called breaking up if we never officially dated??) is boring.

She makes a scene of getting out of bed and stomping out of the room.

I groan and follow her all the way to the living room, where she finally turns back around.

"Why?!"

"I just told you."

She props a hand on her waist.

"Were you 'not feeling it' that time we had sex three times in a row and you couldn't get enough? Or when you kissed me at midnight just a few hours ago?"

I scratch the back of my head. In my defense, I was feeling it, but not because of her. Most of the times I was horny and coked up and she was there. Our entire 'relationship' was built on the fact that she was always just there. She was there on my birthday, she was there during the rest of the summer, and she was there in New York.

I'm really not in the mood for this shit. She's here now, and maybe through no fault of her own, I just don't want to deal with her anymore.

"I don't know what you want to hear from me."

She huffs. "Is it because of her?"

"Her who?"

She rolls her eyes like it's supposed to be obvious. "Valentina."

It's my turn to look annoyed.

"Why would it be about her?"

"Because you've been fucking her behind my back."

If only.

"Are you serious?"

She curtly nods and crosses her arms over her chest.

"I'm not having sex with anyone behind your back. I'm just not feeling it anymore. It's the fucking truth."

"Sure, that's why you disappeared with her most of the night-"

"That's not-"

"And why you were looking at Raisa's brother like you'd like to kill him."

I don't bother correcting her, and she huffs again.

"Whatever, Matteo. Just don't come back to me when you inevitably get bored of her."

The thought of getting bored of Valentina didn't even cross my mind if I'm honest. It never even occurred to me that I might not like being with Valentina.

I push the thought to the back of my mind.

"Okay Ariana." Is all I can muster.

I want her gone, now.

She angrily mumbles to herself as she grabs her stuff from the living room table. Her bracelets cling together as she looks through her bag. She pulls out a second phone I never knew she had, and we look at each other in silence until the person she calls answers.

"Come pick me up at Matteo's place near Wall Street."

It's her driver, of course. All the times I've driven her around New York I've never thought about the possibility of her having a driver.

I shake my head, and she rolls her eyes, turning away from me to head towards the hallway.

She leaves without saying anything else and leaves the door open, maybe hoping that I'd go after her.

I don't.

I make sure to lock the door and exhale.

Then I vow to myself to never do this again – getting with someone just because there's nothing better to do.

***

Palermo, Sicily, IT - January 8th, 2021

I fly back to Italy for my father's 46th birthday. It's at nonna Angie's house, of course, because it wouldn't have been 'ethical' to hire an entire catering staff for a small family gathering.

As if there is anything ethical left about this family.

The group is smaller than they usually are on his birthday; it's just our family, Vinnie's family, and Isabella's.

There's old classics playing from her ancient pickup she had since she was my age, the fire is on, and everyone is drinking wine.

With Vinnie to my left and Isabella to my right, I feel thirteen again.

Isabella refills my glass and then leans into me.

"She deleted all pictures of you."

This catches Vinnie's attention because his head instantly whips in our direction.

"Ariana?" he asks.

"You ended it." he then concludes.

"I guess."

Isabella dramatically gapes at me. "You guess?"

She waves it off.

"Finally." She says at the same time as Vinnie asks "why?".

I shrug even though I know it annoys them both. I also know that they will not quit until I give them a reason.

I tell them the same thing I told Ariana a week ago.

"I wasn't feeling it anymore."

"Just like that?" she asks.

"Just like that."

"Were you ever feeling it?" Vinnie inquires before taking a sip of his wine.

"I don't know. Sometimes, maybe."

Isabella shakes her head. "I cannot understand guys, I swear. How can you be with someone, spend your time – months – with someone you're not 'feeling'? I could never."

Vinnie looks offended as he protests, saying that he also never did that.

"No, you're just pining after someone who has stopped showing interest in you years ago." Isabella deadpans and my mouth falls open at the sharp tone in her voice.

She's never used that tone with us before.

Awkward silence settles between us, and I can say I am almost relieved when I see my father calling me over by moving his index finger. He's standing now, at the head of the adults' table, head tipping in the direction of the balcony.

"I'll be right back." I excuse myself, then grab my glass as I stand. They are still looking at each other and I'm not sure whether they even heard me, but it's not about me anymore.

It's colder than usual but all the wine I've been drinking so far keeps me warm enough to step outside in just a shirt.

We set our glasses on the small round table as we light up our cigarettes.

I expect him to tell me something about my job in New York. He chooses a completely different topic of conversation.

"How's it going with your girlfriend?"

I cross my arms. "I don't have one."

"Are you not together with Ariana Milanesi anymore?"

"We were never together."

A week later and it still hasn't stopped? Dear God.

He looks surprised, but not the pleased kind of surprised. "You ended it with her?"

"Since when are you interested in who I hook up with?"

"Since she's the daughter of the Milanese."

"I don't know who that is."

"Of course you don't." he huffs. "They're a powerful crime family from Milano." He shakes his head. "It would've been a good marriage."

I stop midway of taking a drag, geuinely horrified.

"Are you serious right now? Marriage? I'm twenty-one."

"So? I was your age when-"

I stop him at the exact time he realises his mistake.

"When? You were twenty-three when I was born, not twenty-one."

The panic I didn't even notice until now vanishes from his eyes.

"You didn't have to marry her now, Matteo. But it would've been a profitable marriage, for sure. It's been a while since two heirs married."

"She's the heir of a mafia family?"

Why has he never mentioned this to me before? Not that it would've made a difference, but it seems like a rather important piece of information to have.

"The ones in Milano, yes...in a sense. She's the first born."

"But she's not the heir."

He shakes his head. "No."

"Why? Is it because she's a girl?"

Valentina pops into my mind.

I've been wondering about her, whether she's the one who will succeed her father. If the Russians have the same tradition as we do, then the rightful heir doesn't really have a choice but to eventually take over the role.

"Yes. The first born sons are the ones who will take over, not the daughters."

"Do the Russians operate the same?" I don't hesitate to ask.

The silence is uncomfortable because we're both aware of the implications of my question. By asking this I admit that I care about her being.

I don't give a fuck though, I want to know if Valentina will have a choice in what her future will look like.

I want to know if she's aware that there is no way out if she was born into it.

I want to know if she'll go through what I've been through.

Not feeling any guilt after watching someone's life drain from their face is when you know you're past salvation. And I want to know if there's a chance that she might be exempt from this.

"I don't know. As far as I know, there has never been a precedent of daughters being born into the family. Not for the past ninety-seven years."

He doesn't bother asking why I want this information because he already knows, somehow. He always knows a lot more than I give him credit for, and he's always been a step ahead of everybody else.

"But what do you think?" I push.

He leans back. "I believe that what you think, Matteo, weighs more right now." I'm about to get defensive and he catches it before I can physically react. "I'm not accusing, I'm asking you. What do you think? You know her better than I do."

"I honestly don't know. She never indicated that she has any clue about the Russians. Maybe they're protecting her like we do with Aurora."

I nod, putting my cigarette out. "And even Aurora knows what's going on, at least at a surface level."

There's a pause and his face turns dead serious. "Could she handle it though? Would she be capable of doing what you've done so far?"

Yes, most probably. She's had someone she knows die in their arms, then she was taken into police custody, then attacked, then witnessed those attackers hung from a bridge. All of that in the past half year and she's like she always is. Absolutely nothing's changed. I know this because it's exactly how I've been.

"Taking someone's life on purpose and not giving a fuck afterwards is vile work. I don't think she would do that to another person."

He shakes his head and crushes his cigarette against the glass ashtray on the table.

"Matteo, in the world we live in, that's the only way to survive. If she's going to survive, she needs to be as capable as we are to do so, with all its implications."

His words land heavy because they're true.

"I don't think she's capable of doing what I've done, but I think she's smart enough to survive in this world, and I also think her father knows that."

He nods, and I can see him ruminating the information in his mind.

"Survival is not the only thing in the job description though."

"I think she'd be good at everyting except the killing."

"Hm." Is all he says after a while.

The door to the balcony opens and Aurora sticks her head out.

"Grandma says to come inside because she's bringing out the main course."

I throw my father another look before I step inside.

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thank you for reading, i am open to any feedback from readers :)

see you in next chapter!