Matteo

New York, United States - December 31st, 2020

9:18pm

Aurora coming definitely changes the vibe. We stop playing before Valentina even gets to pull her card, and someone dims the lights to turn the room into more of a dancefloor rather than a lounge.

Another one of Ariana's friends comes up to me before I can even go and enjoy the A$AP Rocky song Vinnie just put on. Are they all part of a ploy to keep me occupied all night or what? I really couldn't care less about socializing with any of them.

I half-listen to Ariana's friend's story about the summer party at my house in Taormina while I look for her. She must be on the balcony because I can't spot her anywhere.

"How long have you had the house for?" The girl asks and I shrug, remembering the party she's talking about.

"Since I was born I guess."

I need a line because I feel depleted already.

As I try to think of ways to get out of the conversation gently, I make eye contact with her.

She's by the speakers, kindly nodding her head at whatever Aleksi's telling her.

Since when is he comfortable being so close to her? I've never seen them interact like this; I always thought he was too shy to ever approach a girl.

Yes, he's been obviously going to the gym since I've last seen him, but I didn't think that would also put his personality on steroids.

Valentina smiles at me and I subtly tap the right side of my nose.

She raises her brows in question and I nod in response.

"I'll be right back." I tell the girl who's still talking. She looks confused but shrugs and watches me walk away.

I head straight over to my bedroom, which I've locked for obvious reasons. Marco's been chatting up one of Ariana's friends ever since he arrived, and I don't want him making his moves on her on my bed. He has his own apartment for that.

I take out the tray from my bedside table and go sit down by the desk.

The door opens and I smell her perfume the moment she enters the room.

I get this instant déjà vu when she sits down at the edge of the bed.

We don't say anything and I'm glad to have a break, even if it's her.

Valentina goes first, of course, and I hold the tray up for her to do the line. Then she leans back on her palms and watches me do the same thing.

We make eye contact, and from the way she looks at me, I know we're both thinking the same thing.

However, I am not gone enough to actually try to do anything right now.

"Are you having fun?" she asks, derailing me from my incoming thoughts.

I shrug.

"This night isn't as fun as I expected."

She tilts her head. "What would you do, if you could do anything in the world?"

"I already can do anything I want to."

She rolls her eyes. "Fine, be blindly arrogant." She waves her hand. "Let me put it another way. What would do if you didn't have to do was already decided for you?"

"Right now, or in general?"

"In general, first."

"I don't know."

She purses her lips and nods, and I see how her eyes disassociate as she goes somewhere else.

I rack up another line because I don't want us to leave this room yet. And I know myself; if I don't have anything to do with my hands they'll inevitably gravitate towards her. It's hard not to touch her right now.

"What about you?"

She smiles, coming back to the present.

"What do you enjoy?"

It's her turn to shrug. "Reading. Finding nice quotes. Dancing. I don't know...just...existing?"

She's incredibly cute right now so I hand her the plate, but she shakes her head. "I'm good for now."

"So you want to get paid just for existing?" I tease after I do my line.

She stands up and nods, then pats down her dress even though it isn't necessary. "That would be great."

I watch her ass as she walks towards the door, and she must know it because she's smirking to herself.

10:05pm

Something in my brain always changes the moment I do the first line of the night, because I join the guys in the middle and we play five of our favorite Italian rap songs back to back - until Aurora eventually gets annoyed and takes over.

Ariana is clingier than usual and it annoys me to the point where I'm trying to telepathically summon Vinnie - or anyone really.

My gaze unsurprisingly goes around the room with the hopes of finding Valentina.

They always do, but Aleksi is with her again. They're in a corner, his back to me in a way that is nearly covering her entirely, but I can still see her face.

I can't focus on what Ariana's saying. I try to look like I care, but my attention is focused solely on the two of them.

She's watching at me with those doe eyes she sometimes does and honestly how the fuck am I supposed to sit here and listen to anyone when she's right there, looking at me like that?

My eyes trail over to the door leading to the hallway and she slowly blinks, slightly nodding her chin.

I don't know how long has passed since the last line, nor do I care, I just want to be alone with her again.

10:22pm

I'm already smoking the joint I rolled by the time she shows up on the balcony in my room.

She smiles when she sees me and walks over, hand stretched out.

I can't get over how good she looks right now.

"Don't look at me like that." She says as she takes a drag.

"Like what?"

She crosses her arms. "You know."

I smile. "I don't."

"Asshole."

We stand in silence, observing out at the city below.

Eventually, she turns her head to look at me, and I know it's with those eyes again.

"Stop trying to seduce me, Valentina."

She makes a face. "I'm not trying to seduce you."

"If you were, you'd be succeeding."

She shakes her head, hands me the joint, then looks back to the city. I watch as she looks down, over the railing, then takes a few steps back.

"Sometimes it's too much." She says after a few moments.

"What?"

"Being so high up from the ground."

"You're scared of heights then? You said you liked this view."

"Yes, from inside. I don't mind being inside planes or helicopters or anywhere where there are four walls. I read about it, it's because the human mind sometimes gets scared of the possibility a mere step separating us from life and death. Like imagine, I could just throw myself over the railing and I'd be dead. It's up to me if I do or don't, an intrusive thought is all it takes."

She's rambling now, and all I can think about is how fucking smart and random and interesting she is, and how incredible she looks and how she seems to be completely unaware of it.

We're obviously both way too talkative from the coke, but it's fun and I can't bring myself to hide that I've been wanting to kiss her ever since I laid eyes on her today.

I grab her face with one hand and drop the joint so I can touch her hip with the other one. Put my lips on hers because it gives me that adrenaline rush in the pit of my stomach.

She looks confused for a split of a second before she wraps her arms around my neck to pull me closer.

I love how she pushes her whole body against mine, like she wants to be even closer.

Love it even more because she doesn't try to hide that if feels the same for her.

She exhales into my mouth after a while, her hands still on my face.

I go in for another kiss because fuck, I want more.

My right hand slips under her dress, feeling up the hot skin of her thigh. She smiles against my lips and shakes her head as she pulls away.

"Not here, Matteo."

My hand slips from under her dress. "Then where?"

I'm too fucking gone already; I don't care if everyone at this party sees me feeling her up. Don't give a fuck whether they see how desperate I am.

My hand slides from the back of her neck down to her shoulder. She shies away, cheeks turning pink.

"What?" I ask, unable to hold down a smirk.

She shakes her head, avoiding my eyes.

"Why are you going all shy right now?"

"Because you're touching me like that."

My fingers graze back up from her shoulder to the side of her neck before I cup her jaw.

She sees me grinning as I lean in to brush my lips against her right ear and her body instinctively tenses as the touch.

"Like what?" I ask.

"Fuck you." She says, her breaths heavy.

"I'd love that."

She places her hands on my chest and turns her head so she can look me in the eye.

Her hands slide up my chest to bring our mouths back together.

Every time I kiss her I'm reminded about how good it feels.

"I don't think you could handle it." She says into my mouth.

My eyebrows raise as I slightly pull away.

"I couldn't handle it?"

She nods, eyes glimmering with want. Wanting to frustrate me, wanting to challenge me, wanting me.

It's all over her face, how turned on she is, but she wants to make me work for it for some reason and I'm enjoying it way too much.

I don't know what game she's playing, and I don't care as long as I get to be a part of it. I want to show her that I can keep up with her, that she won't win that easy.

I push her up against the railing. Turn her around so she looks at the buildings in front of us.

"I'll do it right here, in front of the entire world." I say into her ear. It's the absolute fucking truth, and my hand slips between her legs just to prove a point.

Her legs tighten around my hand exactly like I want them to. She squirms and pulls her ear away from my lips.

"You're very direct." She says as she looks at me. It's all over her face, how she fucking loves whatever is happening right now.

"You're the one who can't handle this, Valentina."

She goes soft in my arms and it's her way of telling me I'm right.

Her hands grip into the railing. "Maybe I don't want it."

I brush her hair over her left shoulder and press a kiss to the exposed skin. "Then you would've slapped me a long time ago, I'm sure of it."

She turns around to face me. Her pupils are blown from the coke and her nostrils flare as she takes a breath.

She's turned on, I can see it on her face. Wants it as much as I do. But her weapon is her self-restraint and my weakness is that I like her too much as a person not to respect that.

"I don't think you don't want it." I look down at her. She's chewing on her lip and I know it means she's in her head about it. "I think you're scared of how bad you want it."

She looks at something behind me and pulls away.

I follow her gaze only to see Vinnie standing by the door.

"Isabella is looking for you. She wants to take more pictures with Aurora this time." His eyes move from her to me. "Ariana is also asking where you are."

Valentina coughs and wipes her mouth. Whether Vinnie notices or not, he doesn't show it.

We watch her walk back inside in silence.

He turns to me. "You're still doing that then?"

I throw him a look as I light a cigarette. "Still doing what?"

He pulls out a cigarette too, which always means this isn't going to be a casual conversation.

"Valentina."

There's a strange feeling in my chest when he says it out loud.

"I'm not 'doing' Valentina. Never have."

"But you want to. You have the same look on your face that you had on her birthday." I roll my eyes as he continues. "When you came down the stairs after doing 'lines' with her. And she wiped her mouth with that guilty look on her face, just like she did now."

I absentmindedly lick my lips, and he catches that.

"Thank fuck you're smart then." I retort. "Don't know what I'd do without you."

He points a finger at me. "This isn't going to end well."

"Is that your advice?"

"No. I'm not giving you advice."

"Then what are you doing?"

"Stating my opinion."

"I didn't ask."

He shrugs. "You didn't have to."

We stare at each other, and his features soften. "She's not a girl you can just fuck and dump. She's Isabella's friend. She's my friend. She's your friend man."

"I know."

"We're eventually going to go back to in-person classes, and you'll be running into her all the time."

"Who says I want to 'fuck and dump' her?"

"Oh really? What's your play then? Because she's not the right girl to play games with."

It irks me that he wants to know so much. Which is new. I've always talked to Vinnie about every single girl I've fucked so far, even Allison. And he's never cared about my plans with them.

"I don't have a 'play'."

I just like feeling her up and kissing her and making her squirm the way she does. And I don't want to think about why I want to keep doing it. I just want to do it.

He squints at me. "You and Valentina? It won't end well. And it's going to hurt Isabella."

I cross my arms over my chest. "Thanks for the talk."

The balcony door slides open and Ariana walks outside. She hugs Vinnie hello and then kisses me on the mouth.

Vinnie and I make eye contact as she does, and he disapprovingly shakes his head at me before he goes back inside.

"Hi." Ariana says against my lips and wraps her arms around me, kissing me more.

I kiss her back, and I only get through it because I'm picturing Valentina.

It's hard though, because kissing her isn't the same.

--

Next chapter will be up October 15th!