Chapter 55

It was the day that I'd been waiting for so long... but then it became the day that I dreaded the most. I didn't want to involve him in the case—I didn't want him to be the center of it all. Pero pareho naming alam ni Lui na wala kaming choice.

That it's this... or they get away with everything.

Again.

And I knew that I'd be putting him in danger by making him do this... so I had to call everyone I know. I just had to make sure that Lui would be fine. Because honestly? I didn't know what would happened to me kapag may nangyari sa kanya.

As much as he kept on telling me that I'd be fine kapag may nangyari sa kanya, I just knew that I wouldn't... That if something happens to me, something inside me would be broken... indefinitely... and I didn't think I'd be able to heal from that.

And I didn't want that.

I didn't want to live in this world just feeling broken every day.

"Don't you think this is too much?" Lui asked nang makita niya na triple iyong security kumpara sa dati.

"Kulang pa siguro," I replied.

"People would think na ako talaga iyong suspect," he said, trying to make the situation feel lighter. He's failing. Nothing would make me feel better until we're able to put this situation behind us. Until then, I'd always look behind my shoulder. Kasi kung nagawa nilang mapa-baliktad si Noel—si Noel na nakita ko kung paano ka-bantay-sarado si Lui, then no one's safe.

"I don't care about what they think. I care about you being safe."

I saw the surprise on Lui's face.

Weren't we both just stubborn individuals?

Why couldn't we just say those three words together?

But Lui quickly gathered himself. Umayos siya sa pagkaka-tayo. Tumingin siya sa akin. He gave me a small nod as though that would be able to pacify that storm that was brewing inside my head.

"I'll be fine—"

"Can you please stop saying that?" I asked. "I know you'll be fine... Just... please stop saying that."

I knew that I didn't even need to explain to him what I meant by that. I was sure that he knew how I felt. He probably felt it, too... if not more.

Tahimik kaming naka-sakay sa sasakyan. Vito helped me get bulletproof vehicle. I honestly wasn't expecting much from him... Not because he wouldn't want to help us, but because I knew that he was probably in a tough position. Kasama sa mga babanggain naming pangalan iyong mga kaibigan niya. And Vito's been through a lot. I wouldn't take it against him if he'd choose to take a step back.

But he did.

He came through.

Ganito siguro talaga kapag kaibigan... ewan ko. Hindi ko alam. Kasi sinubukan ko namang humingi ng supporta sa sorority. I heard nothing. They wouldn't even associate themselves with me anymore... hindi kagaya nung nagtop ako sa BAR na kulang na lang ay idikit nila sa pangalan ko iyong sorority.

Totoo talaga na makikilala mo iyong mga tunay na kaibigan mo kapag hindi ideal iyong sitwasyon na meron ka.

I was clutching on the bag that was on my lap for support. Halos kabisado ko na iyong tanong sa cross examination, pero parang gusto kong masuka sa sobrang kaba. Tama naman si Lui na dapat ay tratuhin ko 'to na normal na kaso lang... kasi iyon lang ang paraan para mairaos ko 'tong buong kaso na 'to na hindi ako nasisiraan ng ulo.

I was counting inside my head.

Everything was silent.

Until I felt something hitting the back of the vehicle.

I froze.

Hindi ko alam kung ano iyong nangyari. All I knew was that fear quickly crept through my system. I knew I should probably jump out of the car... but then, sino ba iyong mga nasa labas? Tuluyan na bang nasiraan ng bait iyong mga Villamontes? Would they really gun us down in the middle of the day? In public?

At this point, everything was possible.

Was this my end?

I quickly thought about my family. Kailan ko pa ba sila huling naka-usap? Would they blame themselves? Na hindi nila ako nagawang pigilan na gawin 'to? Knowing that this would've happened to me? My mother... she'd be so heartbroken...

I should've prepared a letter.

Something.

Just to say goodbye.

So that no words would be left unsaid.

But then it's too late—

"Hey, breathe..."

My thoughts were quickly interrupted when I felt Lui's hands on my face. He forced me to look at him, to stare into his eyes. Those eyes that gave me comfort. Those eyes that get me lost every damn time.

"We're okay," he said gently. "It's fine. Some idiot just hit the bumper of the car."

I heard his words... my mind just couldn't process them.

I could still feel it—the fear.

The belief that this was my end—our end.

"Tali..." he called my name. "You're okay," he said. He kept on repeating that. I could hear him. I just couldn't hear him.

"I..." I said. He was looking at me. He was waiting to listen. "I don't think I can do it."

I looked at him.

I felt the tears running down my face.

"I'm scared."

It was the first time that I said it out loud.

That I was scared.

Because for the longest time, I'd been pretending that I wasn't... Kasi alam ko na lahat ng tao sa paligid ko ay natatakot na para sa akin. Natatakot din ako... but I felt like I had no right to feel frightened. Because if I feel scared, too, who would stand up against them?

Who would ever stand up against them?

But being here...

Thinking that I was in the brink of dying?

It felt all too real.

Everything.

Most of all the fear.

"Thank God you're scared," Lui said. He cupped my face. He was looking straight into my eyes. "Scared is good, Tali. Scared means you'd be cautious. Because I swear I don't know what I'd do if something happens to you."

I couldn't talk. Once again, words were failing me... Now that we're just minutes away from the court.

"I can't—"

"You can."

"But what if I can't—"

Lui made me look at him. "If you say you can't and you don't want to do this, we'll leave. No questions asked. We'll leave everything and everyone behind," he said. "But I know you. I know you so well, Tali, that I know that if we leave? If you just let them get away? You'll hate yourself. You won't forgive yourself. It will destroy you."

I could feel him breathing.

I could feel his fear mirroring mine.

"And I can't let you destroy you."

No words were said after. Lui just enveloped me inside his arms. Pina-labas niya iyong mga kasama namin sa sasakyan hanggang kaming dalawa na lang ang nasa loob. He just kept on hugging me to try to make me calm down.

"We have to go inside," he said. Ni hindi ko alam na nakarating na pala kami dito. "You can do this."

Inabutan niya ako ng tubig. He sat there and watched me drink. Pinapanood niya ang bawat galaw ko. And then he tuck a portion of my hair behind my ears.

"Ready?" he asked.

I looked at him and nodded. Was I scared? Yes. But he's right... I was more scared of what I'd feel if I'd just run away with him like he said.

I am scared.

But sometimes, there's no other way around this but through this.

* * *

Tama nga si Lui na parang kami pa iyong may kaso sa dami ng guards na kasama namin... but no one's questioning us pagkatapos nung nangyari kay Noel. We didn't give any interview. Tuloy lang kami sa paglalakad. Lui's hand never left the small of my back hanggang sa makarating kami sa loob.

We quickly spotted Iñigo. I knew he was worried. He couldn't directly contact me, but Cha did ask Lui kung ayos lang daw ba kami. Ito lang siguro iyong weird sa trabaho namin... Magkaaway sa korte pero sa labas? Pareho lang naman kaming lahat. Siguro. Sana.

"If you feel overwhelmed, just stick to the script," sabi ni Lui.

I gave him a small nod. "No, I'll be fine."

But the look on his face showed that he didn't believe me one bit. "I already stated everything in the Judicial Affidavit. We were as clear as possible. Today's gonna be fine."

How did we come to this? That he's the one who had to assure me?

"I know that, pero magaling si Iñigo."

"Magaling din ako," he said.

For a second, I felt lighter. Lui gave me a small smile as if to tell me once again they we're gonna be fine.

"I'm just gonna tell the truth, Tali. Kahit gaano pa kagaling magtanong si Iñigo, hindi niya ako kayang lituhin kasi totoo naman iyong sasabihin ko."

He's right... It's hard to confuse a witness who's telling the truth. Kahit pa sabihin nila na hindi reliable ang eyewitness testimony because chances are, our memories betray us. But sometimes, you just know. And no tactic can make you betray the truth of what really happened.

We got inside.

This felt like the first time once again. Para akong bumalik nung unang beses kong umattend bilang litigation lawyer sa loob ng korte. I remembered feeling nauseous... but also excited. Iba ngayon. Takot lang ata iyong tanging nararamdaman ko. O baka excited na rin ako na matapos 'to.

"Criminal Case No. 2019-001. People of the Philippines v Reynaldo Villamontes, et al. for multiple counts of murder," the clerk of court read.

"The prosecution may call its witness," sabi ni Judge sa akin.

Tumingin ako kay Lui. This was still a public hearing... given the public interest due to the nature of the case pati na rin sa nangyari kay Noel. Pero dahil na rin sa nangyari kay Noel ay mas humigpit iyong security. Mas maraming pulis. Pero ewan ko. Kahit maraming pulis, hindi ko magawang makaramdam na ligtas ako.

"Thank you, Your Honor," panimula ko. Muli akong huminga nang malalim. I straightened out the imaginary crease on my top. Tumingin ako kay Lui na diretsong naka-tingin sa akin.

"The People call Luisito Ruiz Valladares to the stand."

I was quietly watching as Lui was being sworn in. He was just looking at me—like he was promising me that he will tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

Then he was done and once again, I had to remind myself to breathe.

"Please state your full name for the record."

"Luisito Ruiz Valladares," he said, sounding confident. Perhaps, he's right... There's no need to feel afraid when all you'll say is the truth...

But then again, sometimes, truth is frightening.

"Mr. Valladares, how do you know the accused, Reynaldo Villamontes?"

Nakita ko na tumingin si Lui sa gawi ni Villamontes. He was in a wheelchair... na ngayon ay may kasama na ring oxygen tank. Mabuti na lang din talaga at hindi jury system dito sa Pilipinas. The jury would eat up this whole charade—with their misguided sense of tolerance towards elders kahit na wala na sa lugar minsan.

"Our families have had business dealings for many years. My father and his father were partners in several ventures."

"Such as?"

"Objection," mabilis na sabi ni Iñigo. "Relevance?"

"Your Honor, I'm establishing the background of the relationship between the witness and the accused. It leads directly to the witness' involvement in the case," mabilis kong sabi. Ramdam na ramdam ko iyong bilis ng tibok ng puso ko. Saglit na napa-tingin ako kay Lui. He was looking at me as though he was trying to calm me down and tell me that everything's going well... that it's according to how we practiced...

And to just breathe.

Pareho kaming naka-tingin ni Iñigo at naghihintay ng susunod na sasabihin ni Judge.

"Objection overruled, but Counselor, please get to the point quickly."

Fuck.

Thank God.

"Mr. Valladares?" muling pagtatanong ko.

"Our families have had business dealings for many years. The Villamontes family, particularly their company Villamontes Inc., helps us find high-paying clients for our premium medical services."

I could hear the murmurs and the whispers.

"Objection, Your Honor," muling sabi ni Iñigo. "Irrelevant. The prosecution is alluding to issues not included in this trial."

"Sustained," the Judge stated.

I nodded.

Good.

At least I opened the floodgates. I knew that this trial was public... Sana may makarinig... Dahil hindi ko alam kung mananalo kami. Gustung-gusto kong umasa na mananalo kami... pero kung totoo nga na may presyo ang lahat—na mabibili kahit ang resulta nito... I have no choice but to hope that the public has not yet lost its damned mind.

Dahil bulag lang ang hindi makaka-kita na guilty ang pamilya na 'to at lahat ng ka-sosyo nila sa negosyo.

"I'll move on to my next question, Your Honor," sabi ko at muling ibinalik ang tingin kay Lui. "Mr. Valladares, were you present at a meeting on October 02 at the Villamontes family compound?"

Tumango si Lui. "I was."

"Who else was present at this meeting?"

It probably evaded the others... but I clearly saw that hint of... fear cross his face as he began to mention names that even he probably didn't think he'd ever mention in an open court. "Reynaldo Villamontes," he began as, one by one, he said the names of those involved in the brutal massacre that happened one afternoon in November.

"What was discussed at this meeting?" I asked.

"The topic of the meeting was how to dispose of the star witness in the rape case against Arthur Villamontes."

"Dispose as in?"

"Objection, Your Honor! The prosecutor is leading the witness," muling sabi ni Iñigo.

"Sustained. Prosecutor, rephrase your question."

Huminga ako nang malalim. I knew that I was flirting dangerously close with contempt, but I just needed that word to be said, to be associated with Villamontes.

"Mr. Valladares, can you clarify what you mean by 'dispose of the witness?'"

"They were discussing how to kill Patricia Santos, the star witness in the rape case."

"Can you be more specific about what was said?"

"They discussed a plan to intercept the van where Patricia Santos, the witness, would be riding. They talked about how to bury the entire van with all the people inside it."

Ramdam ko iyong panlalamig ng buong katawan ko. But I knew that I needed to push through. We're already here. We're so close... so close.

"Mr. Valladares, did anyone at the meeting express concern about the scale of this plan?"

"I asked if they didn't think anyone would notice such a large-scale disappearance."

"And what was the response to your question?"

Lui looked at the cameras—the one that was recording everything that was going down inside the court room. "Reynaldo Villamontes laughed and said, 'May presyo lahat ng tao.'"

"Objection, Your Honor. Hearsay."

"Your Honor, this statement falls under the party opponent exception to the hearsay rule. Mr. Villamontes is a defendant in this case, and this is a statement against his interest," mabilis na sagot ko.

Nanlalamig iyong mga kamay ko habang naghihintay sa susunod na sasabihin niya. He did tell me to do my best... and that I should trust him and trust justice.

I hope they didn't get to him, as well.

"Objection overruled," Judge said. Fuck yes. "The witness may answer. However, put in record this statement only as evidence against Mr. Villamontes, not against any other defendants related to this case."

'Breathe, Tali,' I kept on reminding myself.

"Mr. Valladares, how did you feel when you heard this plan?"

"I was shocked. I couldn't believe they were seriously planning something so horrible."

"Yet you didn't report this to the authorities. Why not?"

"I didn't think they would actually go through with it. I thought it was just talk."

"Why? Was there other talk of the same nature before?"

"Objection, Your Honor. This question calls for speculation and assumes facts not in evidence," mabilis na sabi ni Iñigo. Agad na napa-tingin ako sa gawi nila. Hindi ko alam kung totoo bang kailangan na talaga ni Reynaldo Villamontes ng oxygen tank dahil sa itsura niya ngayon.

"Your Honor, I'm simply asking the witness to explain the basis for his statement. His previous experiences with the defendants are relevant to understanding his state of mind," mabilis kong sagot.

"I'll allow it, but tread carefully, Counselor. Mr. Valladares, you may answer if you have personal knowledge. Don't speculate."

"Well, there were times when they would discuss 'taking care' of problems," simpleng sagot ni Lui. We agreed not to delve in to the other issues. That wasn't the point of this case. Sapat na na nasabi namin na hindi 'to ang unang pagkaka-taon.

That this murder wasn't an isolated case.

That the Villamontes family is actually evil.

"When did you realize it wasn't just talk? That they really planned to 'dispose' of Patricia Santos?"

"When I heard it in the news," he replied as he looked at me. I was there. I was there with him when we heard the news. I could still remember how cold I felt and I how my mind didn't want to hear what happened.

Kasi sino ba ang pwedeng gumawa non?

Sino ba ang kayang gumawa ng ganon?

"Thank you, Mr. Valladares. No further questions, Your Honor," sabi ko at saka naglakad pabalik sa pwesto ko.

"Does the defense wish to cross-examine?"

Iñigo stood up and walked up to Lui. "Yes, Your Honor."

**

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