Chapter 54

"No," I quickly and firmly said nang sabihin ni Lui na siya ang papalit bilang witness sa kaso na isinampa namin laban sa mga Villamontes.

"We don't have a choice—"

"You're the one who always told me that there's always a choice."

Lui gave me back the same stare that I've been giving him. Ilang minuto pa lang nang makauwi kami galing sa presinto. Ilang beses siyang tinanong tungkol sa nangyari kanina. Hindi ko alam kung bayad din ba ng mga Villamontes iyong mga pulis o talagang ginagawa lang nila ang trabaho nila... way beyond how they usually did it. They kept on asking Lui about what happened; he kept on telling them that he had to because if he didn't, I would've gotten shot.

"Your choices are to let me testify or to let Villamontes walk away scathe-free. Again."

Mariin akong umiling. "No. There's a video. May judicial affidavit—"

"Noel made a retracting statement before he died—saying that we coerced him into saying everything."

Napaawang ang labi ko. "He did what?"

"I don't know how they did it... but they got to him," Lui said. "Somehow, they got to him."

Rinig na rinig ko iyong pagsisi niya sa sarili niya. I knew that what happened was terrible, but I would never ever blame him for that. We both knew how these people work.

"And how did you know that?" tanong ko sa kanya. "They're threatening you, aren't they? Iyong text na natanggap mo kanina? Galing sa kanila 'yon?" I asked, but I didn't even need to hear a confirmation from him. Kasi sino pa ba ang gagawa non?

"Yes, but that's beside the point—"

"How is that beside the point, Lui? They threatened you!"

"And they almost had you killed—"

"So you killed someone?!"

"I'm gonna be fine. I acted in defense of a stranger. Revised Penal Code, Article 11, remember? If they ever try to file a case, even a half-decent prosecutor would recommend dismissal immediately."

"It's not about that!" I said, my chest heaving.

"Then what is it about?" tanong niya habang diretsong naka-tingin sa mga mata ko. Like he couldn't understand why I was acting this way, feeling this way. "Because I'm fine—"

"Because you stood in front of me! He could've shot you! You could've died! I could've watched you die, Lui!"

"But I didn't—"

"But you could've!"

"If I die—"

Mabilis akong umiling. I couldn't see him anymore in the sea of tears that were pooling around my eyes. "No," I said as I shook my head as the tears began to fall. "I don't want to talk about this."

"Tali, if I die, don't blame yourself—"

"No!"

"You're right. There are always choices. I chose this. So, if I—"

But he wasn't stopping.

I had to turn around and walk away because I was not having this conversation. It was enough that I think about this—that this thought haunts me even in my sleep... but to hear him talk about this? About the very real possibility of him—

No.

I didn't want to talk about this.

"Tali!" he said as he held my arm to stop me from walking away. "Listen—"

"Ayoko nga!"

"We're already way in too deep—you, me, Mauro, Achilles. I need to do this," he said while he was looking me in the eye... as if that was enough explanation that would make me understand kung anuman ang possibleng mangyari sa kanya.

But then he stopped.

His lips parted.

He cupped my face and I felt his thumbs wiping the tears.

"Why... are you crying?" he asked, his voice softening.

Hindi ako makapagsalita. Kasi ano ang sasabihin ko? Na umiiyak ako dahil takot akong may mangyari sa kanya? Kasi alam ko na tama siya... na kung gusto naming manalo sa kaso na 'to, kailangan niyang maging testigo...

"Because you'll die," I said in between sobs.

Lui looked at me, his face softening even more. He was staring at me like he just wanted to envelope me in his arms and never let go. I wanted to do the same. I just wanted him safe.

But I knew that I couldn't let this go.

I would never find peace if I let this go.

"Why are you talking like it will really happen?" he asked as he gently wiped the tears from my face. "I was only talking... just in case... because I know that, just in case, you will blame yourself..." he continued. "But I won't die. Not because of this case, at least."

"No," I said. "You'll die. If you become a witness, you'll die. Like every witness I had."

I could even see it in my mind now.

Parang iyong nangyari kanina.

Maybe they'd even kill him right in front of me... just to taunt me... just to remind me of who really plays the game better kagaya ng sinabi nila kay Lui.

I looked at him.

I was looking at him.

But I could barely see him.

Was this a preview of the future? Kapag nawala siya? Kasi kahit na nasa harapan ko siya ngayon, dadating ba iyong araw na mawawala siya at unti-unti siyang maglalaho sa ala-ala ko?

"Stop crying. Please," he said. "After everything you've been through... All the people you argued with... All the cases you won... Dito ka lang iiyak?" he asked. I could feel how hard he was trying to make light of the situation.

"Why can't you just take me seriously? Take my fears seriously?"

"Because," he said, looking at me and smiling, but behind those smiles, it was like I could see his heart breaking. "It's just me, Tali. If... if what you fear really happens, you'll be fine. You'll blame yourself, I know, but you'll be fine."

"Why are you so certain that I'll be fine?"

"Because you've been fine all this time."

"You think I was fine?"

"Yes. You were fine. Without me. You'll always be fine with or without me."

"I was fine because I know that somewhere in this miserable world, you're alive and breathing," I said while staring at him and barely seeing him. "If you... if you die..."

I couldn't continue.

I wasn't able to continue.

"Will you die if I die?" he asked with his thumbs caressing my cheek.

"Not literally..."

He let out a soft chuckle. "Figuratively?" I nodded. "Alright... then I can't die if you will figuratively die... because I can't have that. I won't have that. You still have to live a long life, Tali. You will still do a lot of great things."

"You promise?"

He nodded. "I promise."

"You won't die..."

He softly smiled at me. "I won't," he said. "I'm alive. I'm here," he continued as he reached for my hands and used them to cup his face, his hands over mine. "I'm still here, Tali. Can you feel me?"

I looked up and saw his face.

But it wasn't enough that I was seeing him.

I needed to feel him, too.

So, I pulled his head until my lips touched his.

"What—" he managed to say as he tried to pull back.

"Please," I pleaded. "Please," I repeated.

Because I needed more.

I needed more evidence to feel that he's here.

That he's not dead.

That all the thoughts that were running in my head were just... thoughts.

Lui grabbed my face. He was the one leading the kissing—forcefully this time. Like he'd been starving for the longest time and he was finally satiating that hunger. He pulled me up and I automatically wrapped my legs around his torso. He kept on walking until I felt my back resting against the wall.

"Tell me when you need me to stop," he said as his hands were trying to unbutton my top... and gave up halfway and just tore my blouse wide open.

"No," I replied. "No stopping," I continued as I reached for my bra and unhooked it myself.

Years may pass...

But god, he's really the only one that I wanted like this.

It felt like a curse—to want him and only him.

And then he was kissing me again. He was kissing my lips and my neck and my chest and went down until he reached that spot between my thighs. I didn't tell him to stop. I just wanted to feel him everywhere. I wanted a constant reminder that he's here... because I knew that my fear was real.

My head was spinning.

I was barely trying to catch my breath.

"Can you feel me now?" he asked, staring right into my eyes as I felt him stretching me wide.

My lips parted. I couldn't talk. Words were failing me. Emotions were killing me because Lui wouldn't let go of my eyes as he was tearing me apart.

I grabbed onto him like I would die if I ever let go.

He continued like he would die if he stopped.

And then we were both just breathing.

"I promise..." he whispered as I felt him kissing the side of my head. "This time won't be like the others," he continued as he carried me to the bedroom.

* * *

With the death of Noel and the issuance of his retraction, we had to add Lui's name to the case. He'll be the main witness of the prosecution. Mas lumawak ang kaso dahil sa dami ng alam ni Lui. Magcocoincide na rin siya sa kaso na hawak nila Achilles.

Lui's the string that connects everything together.

Hindi siya lumalabas sa condo. I wouldn't let him. I'd watch his phone like a hawk. Kita ko na tumatawag iyong pamilya niya sa kanya. Sigurado ako na nakarating na sa kanila ang balita.

"You should talk to them," I told him. After all, they're still family.

"Alam ko na 'yung sasabihin nila," he replied.

"Still."

"It's just a waste of time," he said. "They'll tell me to stop doing what I'm doing. They'll tell me family is family. They'll tell me I'm being ungrateful," he continued. He was about to say something more, but he stopped himself. I had an idea. That you'll put yourself in danger. Alam niya na ayaw kong pag-usapan. "Along those lines. So... I'm saving us time."

Hindi ako nagsalita.

"Come on, let's practice the cross," he said.

"Alam mo na 'yung gagawin mo."

"It's Iñigo," he said.

"And you're Lui."

He arched his left brow. "Wow."

I rolled my eyes at him but he just reached for my right hand and pulled me until I was sitting on his lap. He burrowed his face against my chest. I could feel his every movement, his every breathing.

"Tali," he mumbled.

"Hmm?"

"When the cross begins..."

"I know. I won't."

He didn't even need to verbalize that. Alam ko naman. Dati na namin 'tong napagtalunan. I knew Lui's a complicated person... I knew I judged him before for that... But I knew better now... That he's just the way he is because that's how you survive in the world that he's living in.

It's cruel.

So, sometimes, you have to be cruel, too.

"My family's despicable. I let them do all those things."

I hugged him and gently brushed his hair. "You're doing the right thing now. And that's what's important."

I felt him shaking his head. Napa-tingin ako sa kanya. Tumingin din siya sa akin. "I'm doing this because it's what you want... and not because it's what's right."

My lips parted kahit alam ko naman na 'yon.

"You still don't get it, don't you?" he asked as he tightened his hold around me. "I don't know when... I don't know how... but I am so in love with you and I will do anything for you, Atty. Hernaez."

**

This story is already at Chapter 62 patreon.com/beeyotch. Subscription starts at 100php per month for all stories. You can also join the patreon facebook group. You can email [email protected] for assistance :) Thank you!