Chapter 48

I didn't know kung sino ang pwede kong kausapin tungkol dito. The more that I read the files that Lui gave me, parang mas lumiliit lalo iyong mundo ko.

They're everywhere.

Suddenly, I felt so naive and stupid. Ilang beses kong sinumbatan si Lui na wala siyang ginagawa at hinahayaan niya lang mangyari ang lahat. I called him complicit—called him evil. Pero ngayon na nakikita ko na kung sinu-sino ang mga kasama dito? I understood. I understood kung bakit wala siyang magawa.

Kasi ganon din naman ako... kaya nga nangyari lahat ng 'to. Nung mga panahon na alam ko kung ano iyong dapat kong gawin, pero hindi ko magawa dahil naka-tali iyong mga kamay ko.

Lui's in that exact same position.

Hindi sapat iyong linggo na ginugol ko para basahin lahat ng files. Siguro kung makikita ng mga magulang ko iyong condo ko, ipapasok na nila ako sa mental institution dahil para na akong conspiracy theorist. Ang daming litrato na naka-dikit sa pader ng condo ko. I just wanted to make sense of it all—kung paano sila naging magka-konekta kahit nasa magkakaibang sector sila.

I was obsessed with this web of crime. Ang daming pangalan. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako magsisimula.

Pakiramdam ko ay tuluyan na akong tatakasan ng bait kung wala akong makaka-usap tungkol dito. I wanted to talk to my friends, but I was afraid... Ayokong madamay sila dito. Even with my family, I had to beg and break down in front of my family para lang pumayag sila na pumunta sa ibang bansa.

I felt so alone. I kept on searching for someone na pwede kong maka-usap... hanggang sa maka-basa ako ng balita tungkol sa isang online post kung saan nabanggit iyong karamihan ng pangalan na kasama sa file na binigay sa akin ni Lui.

Mauro Eugenio dela Rama

I tried to search more about him, pero wala akong makita maliban sa kung saang school siya nag-aaral. Nang makita ko na sa Brent siya nag-aaral ay agad na naisip ko na puntahan siya doon. And then I was once again reminded of how ironic everything is...

Law school?

Law?

Karamihan sa pangalan na nabasa ko ay galing law school.

Puro kalokohan.

I quietly parked outside and waited hanggang sa maka-labas siya. Nang makita kong nasa labas na siya ay lalabas na rin sana ako para kausapin siya, pero nakita ko na agad siyang sumakay sa isang sasakyan. I knew that I shouldn't follow the car. I wasn't some stalker. But I just needed to talk to him.

Sinundan ko iyong sasakyan hanggang sa makarating kami sa isang condo. I parked in the guest parking dahil hindi naman ako tiga-roon. Hindi ko na rin nasundan kung nasaan sila. I figured I'd just try my luck and ask the reception... kung hindi, I'd just message the admin of Brent. I could still pull some strings given na lagi nilang ginagamit iyong pangalan ko tuwing enrollment.

Umakyat ako sa may reception.

"Hi. Good evening," I greeted. I wore some makeup dahil ayokong matakot iyong mga tao sa akin dahil sa eyebags ko. "Can you call the unit of Mauro Eugenio—"

"What do you need?"

Agad akong napa-tingin sa likuran ko. May isang lalaki na seryosong naka-tingin sa akin. I looked up to him as he towered over me. Who the fuck was this?

"What?"

"Why are you looking for Mauro?" tanong niya.

"Sino ka ba?"

"Sino ka muna?" balik na tanong niya.

I drew a deep breath to calm myself down. Tinignan ko siyang makita. Working as a prosecutor, natuto na rin akong bumasa ng tao. It's not always completely accurate, but my guts rarely fail me.

And for some reason, this guy in front of me wasn't making me fear for my life.

Bago ako magsalita ay naglakad ako para maka-layo sa may reception. Alam ko na wala namang chance na may alam iyong receptionist, but these days? Who fucking knows kung sino pa ang pwede kong pagkatiwalaan?

The guy looked at me like he was weirded out sa ginawa ko. I motioned for him to follow me. Sumunod naman siya.

"Who are you? Why were you following us?" tanong niya.

Napa-kunot iyong noo ko. Paano niya nalaman 'yon? Paranoid din ba siya kagaya ko? Dahil din ba sa post na ginawa ni Mauro? Sino ba siya?

I had a lot to ask, but I knew that I should give him answers first.

"I'm Tali," I introduced myself. "I graduated from Brent—"

"Hernaez," he said like he knew me.

"Kilala mo ako?"

"Just familiar with your name," sabi niya sa akin.

Tumango na lang ako. I was used to it. Hindi ko alam kung kilala niya ba ako dahil nag top ako sa exam o dahil kay Lance. Ang daming nakaka-kilala sa akin dahil kung kani-kanino ako pinapakilala ni Lance dati.

"Ano'ng kailangan mo kay Mauro?" he asked again, this time, he sounded more serious.

"I need to talk to him."

"About what?"

"I can't tell you."

"Then you can't talk to him."

"Excuse me?" sabi ko dahil sino ba siya para magdesisyon kung sino ang pwede at hindi pwedeng kausapin ni Mauro?

"If you want to talk to him, you have to talk to me first," he said like that was the only option—like he was some royal guard and Mauro's the fucking king.

"No."

"Fine by me," sabi niya at saka mabilis na tinalikuran ako at naglakad. Agad na nagpanic iyong sistema ko at saka hinawakan iyong braso niya. Agad ko ring tinanggal iyon nang mapa-tingin siya.

"I'm sorry," I said. I looked at him once again. "Don't take this the wrong way but... who are you?" I asked because I had to.

Naka-tingin din siya sa akin na parang sinusukat niya kung mapagkaka-tiwalaan ba ako. We're probably on the same boat—on the same sinking ship. Only we both didn't know that we're in this together... and we could save each other.

"Mauro's boyfriend," sabi niya imbes na sabihin sa akin iyong pangalan niya.

"Oh," I replied. Tumango ako. "Can we talk elsewhere?" I asked dahil maraming dumadaan dito sa lobby.

We walked hanggang sa makarating kami sa parang garden area nitong condo. Gabi na kaya walang tao. Naka-upo lang kami roon at walang nagsasalita sa umpisa. I had to ask him for confirmation kung boyfriend ba talaga siya ni Mauro. I had to. Wala akong tiwala sa mga tao sa paligid ko. I saw him roll his eyes as he showed me a photo from his gallery.

"Thanks," I replied. "I'm sorry for being paranoid."

"What do you want to talk about with Mauro?" tanong niya.

Huminga ako nang malalim bago ko sinabi sa kanya na nabasa ko iyong news article tungkol sa sinulat niyang post online dati... I saw him tense up and like his walls got even higher. This was a sensitive topic for him, as it was for me. For some reason, I was glad... pakiramdam ko ay naka-hanap ako ng kakampi kahit papaano.

"I think... we can help each other," I said as I looked directly in his eyes. "Please? I can't do this alone."

Hindi agad siya naka-sagot. I knew that I was asking for a lot... but this was a lot. This wasn't simply just about me or him—it's about everyone. Ang daming buhay iyong nadamay dito. Hindi ako matatahimik hanggang walang hustisyang nangyayari.

But then before answering, he stood up.

"Wait—"

"I'll call you," sabi niya. Napaawang iyong labi ko. "Your fight's bigger than ours."

I pressed my lips together. "I understand that I'm asking for a lot—"

"You are," sabi niya. "I have to think about this."

Wala akong nagawa kung hindi ang pumayag dahil hindi ko naman siya pwedeng pilitin... After all, I knew how dangerous this game could be—that this would never be over until someone's in jail... or dead.

* * *

Habang naghihintay ako sa sagot ni Achilles ay pinagpatuloy ko iyong research ko. I just needed everything to be neatly compiled para kapag nagsimula na ang kaso ay tuluy-tuloy na. I also made several copies—both online and offline.

Saka paranoid na kung paranoid, but I asked a trusted colleague in Singapore to just release everything online kung may mangyari mang masama sa akin.

I was serious when I said that I would never let them rest—even from beyond the grave, I'd be haunting them.

But then I received a call from Achilles in the middle of a busy week.

"Sino nga iyong nagbigay sa 'yo ng files?" he asked.

"A friend," I replied.

"Name—"

"No," sabi ko dahil ayokong idamay si Lui dito. He already risked enough sa pagbibigay sa akin ng files na 'to.

"I think we're past having secrets at this point," sagot niya sa 'kin.

"Fine," I replied. "Lui."

"Valladares?"

"Yes. You know him?"

"Who wouldn't?" sabi niya na para bang may laman ang sinabi niya. "He's the one who gave you the file?"

"Yes."

"His family—"

"Is involved," I replied, cutting him off. "He knows."

Hindi agad siya nakapagsalita. "Alright," he said after a full minute of grueling silence. "Let's do this."

"Thank—"

"But with him," sabi niya.

"No—"

"He's a member of that fraternity. He knows everything."

"He already gave me everything. Ayoko siyang madamay—"

"You're asking me to risk Mauro's life," he said, cutting me off. "We both have people we want to protect."

I bit the inside of my lips so hard that I tasted blood bago ako sumagot. "Okay."

Achilles told me that we needed Lui on our corner. He told me that Lui knew about everything—that he's privy to every illegal transaction that went down.

It all made sense... all the partying... the friendship... knowing everything and everyone...

He's right in the middle of it all.

* * *

Agad na natigilan si Lui nang makita niya ako sa harap ng condo niya. It felt like the tables have turned—ako naman ang naghihintay sa kanya.

He looked at me. Hindi siya nagsalita. I couldn't blame him.

"I'm violating the restraining order," I said in some fucked up way to clear the air... somehow.

Hindi pa rin siya nagsalita.

"Lui," I called for his name. I saw how conflicted he was—like he was torn between the love and hatred that he must be feeling for me. I knew that he loves me... but I also could understand if he hated me. After everything that's been said and done, it was inevitable.

Yet we're here.

Again.

In front of each other.

Na para bang hindi namin matakasan ang isa't-isa.

"I need you."

I stared right into his eyes.

"You said you only care about what I want, right?" I asked and I knew that it was so wrong of me to do this... because right at this moment, I knew that the man standing in front of me loves me enough to burn the whole world for me.

And I wanted this enough that I could just ask him to do exactly as that.

"I'll drag them all—your family included," I told him. "You and I both know that they'll want to silence me. And if you don't want me dead... I need you to protect me."

I could hear the racing inside my chest.

I could feel the tightening of my chest.

"Will you do that?" I asked.

"You know I would," he replied like it was a promise.  

**

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