Chapter 43

Para akong minumulto nung kaso na 'yon.

Niko gave me a quick rundown of what happened. Agad kong naalala iyong kaso na hinawakan ko noon. Chills ran down my spine. It felt like it was only yesterday when I handled that case... and when I was basically forced to dismiss it. Nung para akong bata na umiiyak sa labas ng opisina ng head namin dahil parang naka-tali iyong mga kamay ko at wala akong magawa.

I felt sick in my stomach.

I kept on thinking na kung sana ay hindi ako nakinig sa kanila, kung sana ay tinuloy ko iyong sa may kaso kahit lahat sila ay sinasabi sa akin na wala akong laban, hindi sana mangyayari 'yon sa ibang tao.

I could've put an end in this madness.

Simula nung sabihin ni Niko sa akin iyong tungkol sa kaso ay hindi na iyon maalis sa isip ko. I must've been so occupied in my own bubble na hindi nakarating sa akin iyong kaso kahit na kalat na kalat iyon sa buong bansa. Paanong hindi gayong dalawang malaking pangalan na iyong dawit sa kaso na 'to?

I did my research. Vito was in the house where Villamontes was found lying on his own pool of blood. I didn't even need to ask Niko kung guilty ba si Vito sa nangyari... All I knew was that Villamontes had it coming. Alam ko na sa lahat ng kagaguhan na ginagawa niya, isang araw ay makakahanap din siya ng katapat niya. I wanted him to rot behind bars... but I also knew that this was probably for the best... His family would always bail him out—hell, even his best friend was in denial sa lahat ng kagaguhan niya. He's beyond saving.

I knew that this case would be an uphill fight. I got my affairs in order bago ko pa man sabihin kay Niko iyong sagot ko. Para ba kasing binigyan ako ng pangalawang pagkakataon na itama iyong mali ko. I wanted to give it my undivided attention—lalo na ngayon na wala akong boss na pwedeng magsabi sa akin ng mga pwede at hindi ko pwedeng gawin.

I was in the middle of finalizing some documents when I saw a name appear on my screen. Agad na nakaramdam ako ng panlalamig sa katawan ko. I never changed my number. I didn't see the point. It wasn't like I was hiding from him. And it wasn't like he'd even talk to me again... after everything I told him that night.

'Did you accept the case?'

Naka-tingin lang ako sa message niya. Of course it was about that case. Sa tingin ko ba talaga ay bigla lang niya akong itetext para mangamusta?

'Not yet but I will.'

Agad kong nakita na nabasa niya iyong reply ko. Hindi ko nakita na nagtype siya. Ilang minuto ang lumipas bago ko tuluyang nakumbinsi iyong sarili ko na hindi na siya sasagot pa. Gusto niya lang ba malaman kung tinanggap ko iyong sa kaso?

The next few hours, I forced myself to focus on finishing my works. Gusto ko kasi na kapag sinabi ko kay Nikolai na tatanggapin ko iyong kaso ay maibigay ko iyong 100% undivided attention ko. I was quietly typing away in my laptop when the telephone rang. Agad kong sinagot iyon kahit wala naman akong ni-request sa reception.

"Good afternoon, Ma'am," bati sa akin nung babae. "You have a guest here named Mr. Luisito Valladares."

Agad na nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang marinig ko iyong pangalan niya. What the hell?! Kaya ba hindi siya sumagot sa akin dahil papunta siya rito sa Singapore?! At paano niya nalaman kung saang hotel ako naka-check-in?

I had so many questions in my mind. Hindi ako makapag-isip nang maayos kaya hindi ko namalayan na nasabi ko pala sa may reception na pwede siyang paakyatin dito sa kwarto ko.

"Shit," I uttered to myself upon realizing na papaakyat nga si Lui dito sa kwarto ko. I didn't know why he's here o ano ba ang kailangan naming pag-usapan na talagang pinuntahan niya ako sa Singapore. But I couldn't think about that when I was suddenly aware na ang daming kalat sa paligid ko. I was handling a billion peso mediation, so I had no room for mistake. Ang daming papel ang binabasa ko at hindi ko na siya maayos.

Quickly, I shove everything inside the closet. Hindi naman siguro bubuksan ni Lui iyon. Napa-tingin ako sa reflection ko sa salamin at nanlaki iyong mga mata ko nang mapansin ko na hindi ako naka-ayos. Bakit naman kasi ako mag-aayos e nasa hotel lang ako buong araw?!

I tried to fix myself, but then I heard the knock on the door.

Fuck.

Huminga ako nang malalim. I gave my hair a quick brush, applied lip balm, and sprayed perfume. This wasn't certainly how I wanted to see him again! But whatever. It wasn't as if he's here to reignite things between us.

Mali ata na sinilip ko siya doon sa may peephole. He's really here. He's standing behind this door. He still looked the same, but different at the same time. He looked hauntingly familiar yet achingly painful.

I drew another deep breath as I opened the door.

"Are you here to change my mind?" agad na tanong ko nung buksan ko iyong pinto.

Lui didn't immediately answer. Instead, he looked at me like he was waiting for me to invite him in. I widened the opening of the door and stepped aside para maka-pasok siya. I held my breath when I smelled the familiar cologne.

"I know you enough to know that there's no changing your mind," sabi niya sa 'kin.

I looked at him. "But if you can... will you?"

I never claimed to be the best lawyer, but I know that I'll do my best. Saka kung tinawagan ako ni Nikolai, pakiramdam siguro nila na may maitutulong ako sa kaso ng kaibigan nila... At kung ganon man, talaga bang pipigilan ako ni Lui kung may maitutulong talaga ako?

Hindi ba kaibigan niya rin sila Vito? Wouldn't he want me to help his friends?

Hanggang ngayon yata ay hindi ko pa rin siya maiintindihan—o baka talagang ayaw ko lang intindihin kung sino siya at kung ano iyong mga priorities niya sa buhay.

"There's no sense in dabbling in the hypotheticals," he answered instead. "You've read the minutes," he continued. Tumango ako. "You know that this is a weak case."

"That's for the judge to decide," I replied. "Innocent until proven guilty."

"You've been through this before—"

"No, I haven't," I said, cutting him off. "I was never given the chance to argue this case in court. Someone was always in my fucking way... remember?"

Lui was just looking at me. What I'd give to read his mind.

"You and I both know that Villamontes is a piece of shit. Kung totoo mang pinatay siya ni Vito, he did the world a favor—since trash like him will never see a day in jail because he'll always get away with his crimes."

I had no idea if the wound has already healed, but I knew that with every word that I was saying, I was rubbing salt on it.

"And he's your friend, Lui. Don't you want me to help him?"

"Why does it have to be you?" he quickly asked. "Why do you always have to insert yourself in this situation?"

Agad napaawang iyong labi ko. I could clearly hear the animosity in his voice.

"Why can't you just continue to live your life quietly?" tanong niya, pero rinig na rinig ko ang panunumbat sa boses niya.

I tilted my chin and looked at him directly. "Why are you here?" I asked once again bago pa kung saan na naman makarating ang usapan namin. I knew that we were treading a very dangerous line... I knew that we were seconds away from hurting each other again with words.

"I'm here as a courtesy," he said.

"Sure."

"You want to help Vito, fine, but if you like your quiet life, stick to the case at hand." Lumalim lang ang kunot ng noo ko. "Things are looking bad for Vito, but we both know that you can get him out on a technicality."

I had questions swimming in my mind, but for some reason, I was afraid to voice them out.

"I'll help you with Vito's defense," he said.

"Will you really help, or will you baby-sit me?" I asked. "Dahil may mga bagay ka na ayaw mong malaman ko?"

Instead of answering, he placed his hands inside his pockets.

"Tell me kung kailan ka babalik sa Manila. I'll pick you up from the airport," he said like he wasn't interested in even answering my questions.

Agad siyang tumalikod at naglakad palabas. Ni hindi man lang niya ako binigyan ng pagkakataon na magsalita. What the hell was he hiding na napa-punta pa siya sa Singapore para lang sabihin sa akin lahat ng 'yon?

* * *

Curiosity made me finish my deadlines quicker than usual. Naka-usap ko na rin si Shanelle tungkol sa kaso. She was pissed at Niko for getting me involved, but I could also hear the relief in her voice. She sounded like she was so done with the case—sino ba naman ang hindi kung iyong boyfriend mo ay naka-kulong para iligtas iyong ibang babae?

I was reading the discovery in the plane. Walang ibang tao doon bukod kay Vito. Alam ko rin na hindi ilalaglag ni Vito si Assia. I mean, if he will, matagal na sana niyang ginawa. The fact that he's willingly getting his name dragged on the mud for her told me that he'll willingly go to jail for her.

That made me wonder...

Ganyan ba ang pag-ibig?

Selfless?

Kaya ko bang makulong para kay Lui?

Paano kung hindi? Ibig sabihin ba hindi ko siya minahal dati?

A lot of questions plagued my mind na halos mapa-tigil ako nang makita ko siya na naka-tayo sa may arrivals at diretsong naka-tingin sa akin. Napa-hinto ako sa paglalakad. Lumapit siya sa akin at saka kinuha iyong hawak kong maleta na puro lang documents iyong laman.

"Hinahanap ka na nila Niko," he began telling me while I was trying to catch up with him dahil agad na naglakad siya without even greeting me. "I'll drop you off there."

"Iyong gamit ko—"

"Sa sasakyan ko muna," he said.

"Okay?" sagot ko. "Iiwan mo lang ako doon?"

"May trabaho ako."

"Wala naman akong sinabi na wala."

"Susunduin din kita mamaya."

"You don't have to—"

"Nasa akin iyong gamit mo," he said, cutting me off. "Go meet with them. We can talk about the case later."

"Okay..." medyo naguguluhan na tanong ko. "I mean, nandon din naman sila Niko..." sabi ko dahil abogado rin naman sila. Pwede naman akong makipag-usap sa kanila tungkol sa kaso ni Vito...

"Criminal lawyers ba sila?" he asked like he was pissed that I even had to ask.

I bit my tongue. Ayokong makipagtalo sa gitna ng parking ng airport. Naka-tayo lang ako roon habang nilalagay niya sa may trunk ng sasakyan niya iyong gamit ko.

"One more thing," he said. Naka-tingin lang ako sa kanya at naghihintay sa susunod na sasabihin niya. "I'd appreciate it if you won't discuss us with them."

"Us," I repeated. "Meron pala non."

"Exactly. Wala ng ganon. Kaya bakit pa pag-uusapan?"

I had to bite my tongue once again... but this time, I bit hard enough that I tasted blood in my tongue.

"Sure. May iba ka pa bang utos?" tanong ko sa kanya.

"Finish this case quickly and go back to your quiet life," he said as he almost slammed the door of the trunk shut.