Chapter 30

I didn't know where we'll go from here.

He liked me, but didn't like me enough—that's what I was getting. Was I disappointed? Yes. Was I mad? No. I didn't want to put all the blame on him when I was a willing participant. Lui never coerced me to do anything that I didn't want.

Do I still like him? Maybe.

Will I do anything about it? No.

I already made a clown of myself in front of him before. Tama na 'yon. For now, I have other things going on in my life kagaya nga ng sabi niya. I'd rather pour my attention and energy into that. But for the meantime, I gave myself time to breathe. Para kasing wala akong pahinga simula nung fourth year law school. Kasi pagkatapos non, nagreview na agad ako. Tapos nagtrabaho na ako. I didn't have time to really enjoy anything.

Hindi ko pa nasasabi sa pamilya ko na nagresign ako. Hindi ko pa rin kasi alam kung ano iyong next step ko professionally. Kaysa i-stress-in ko sila sa mga ganap sa buhay ko, I decided na mag-eat, pray, love muna sa Bali for a week. I didn't really tell anyone but Alisha kasi in case na hanapin ako ng nanay ko, alam ko naman na si Alisha ang una niyang tatanungin.

I was busy packing for my trip to Bali. Tinatamad akong magluto, so I decided to just order food. Nung makita ko na malapit na iyong delivery, lumabas na ako para salubungin si kuya sa lobby. As much as possible talaga, nauuna akong bumaba kapag may delivery. Alam ko kasi feeling ng naghihintay, so ayoko lang paghintayin mga nagdedeliver.

"Seriously... May unit ka na ba dito?" I asked nung pagbukas ng elevator ay mukha ni Lui iyong bumungad sa akin.

Instead of answering with his usual annoying response, napansin ko na bahagyang napaawang iyong labi niya nung makita niya iyong suot ko. I wanted to feel conscious, but why would I? Hindi ako nagpapaka-hirap mag workout at pilates para itago ang katawan ko.

I snapped my fingers in front of his face para mahiya naman siya. I saw him straightening his back tapos ay tumingin siya sa akin. Seriously? Parang nakita na ako ni Lui in all scenarios—nakita niya na akong naka-club outfit, naka-workout outfit, naka-formal outfit, naka-birthday suit... Baka nagulat lang siya sa suot ko na super short shorts at maluwag na white t-shirt. Why? Nag-aayos lang ako ng gamit saka kukuha lang naman ako ng pagkain sa ibaba.

"Bakit ka na naman nandito?" I asked him. Maybe I should start to unblock him kaysa nandito siya lagi para maka-usap ako.

"San ka pupunta?" sagot niya na malayo sa tanong ko.

Lui's reflex was quick dahil mabilis niyang napigilan iyong elevator nung sasara na sana iyon.

"Sa baba," I told him. "What?" I asked nung napa-kunot iyong noo niya.

"Ano'ng gagawin mo 'don?" he asked while still holding the door open.

"May order ako na food."

"Ano?" he asked and he asked again hanggang sa sabihin ko na kung ano iyong pagkain na inoder ko. "Ako na lang kukuha," he said. I tried to argue na may paa naman ako, but he gently pushed me out of the elevator tapos ay mabilis na nagsara na iyon.

What the hell was his problem again?

Bumalik na ako sa may condo ko. Mamayang gabi na iyong alis ko papunta sa Bali. Last minute packer talaga ako, but if may kulang, pwede naman akong dumaan sa mall mamaya or bumili na lang ako doon.

After a few minutes ay naka-rinig na ako ng katok sa pinto. I opened the door and I saw Lui holding my food. I grabbed the paperbag from his hands.

"Won't you invite me in?" he asked nung makuha ko na iyong pagkain.

"No," I said. "Busy ako."

He's obviously taller than me, so he just had to look over me and saw na nasa sahig iyong luggage ko. It was just a cabin-sized luggage since puro bikini lang naman iyong dala ko, travel sized toiletries, makeup, and some accessories. I didn't bring my laptop with me. I was giving myself a vacation that I badly needed to have.

"You're going somewhere?" he asked.

"Yup."

"Where?"

"Bali," sagot ko sa kanya. "Honestly, busy ako ngayon. You can annoy me some other time."

Sinubukan kong isara iyong pinto, but Lui stopped me from doing that. I really tried to close the door, but he stopped me so effortlessly. Lui's tall, but he's not really like built-built... kaya minsan nagugulat talaga ako na ang lakas niya pala. I mean, back when we were still doing whatever, he'd literally pick me up like I weighed nothing.

Ugh.

Why was I thinking about that?

"Can I stay for a while? Traffic pa ngayon. Maiipit ako sa traffic."

"It's 6PM. Tapos na rush hour."

"Friday ngayon," sabi niya.

"So?"

"Matagal iyong rush hour."

"What the hell are you talking about? Also, sa BGC ka lang naka-tira," sabi ko sa kanya dahil kailangan ko na talagang mag-ayos ng gamit. 'Di ko pa nahahanap kung nasan 'yung sunblock ko.

But Lui didn't seem like he's in the mood to leave me the hell alone kaya naman binuksan ko na lang iyong pinto para matapos na iyong usapan.

He made himself feel at home habang dumiretso ako doon sa may dining table para kumain. I was eating. I glanced his way and saw that he was staring at something. Napa-tingin din ako sa tinitignan niya at napa-kunot ang noo ko nung makita ko siya na naka-titig sa mga bikini ko na naka-kalat pa sa may luggage ko.

This freaking weirdo.

"Tali," he called habang naka-tingin pa rin siya doon. Hindi niya siguro na-realize na nakikita ko siya na naka-titig sa bikini ko.

"What?"

"Ito na 'yung lahat ng dadalhin mo?"

"Yes."

"I... don't see any clothes."

"I'm going to Bali. Ano'ng ineexpect mo? Magpapajama ako don?"

"No, but—" sabi niya tapos napa-tigil. "Yeah. Bakit walang pantulog dito?"

I shrugged. "I'll probably sleep naked. I don't know," I told him.

Nakita ko na napaawang iyong labi niya. I rolled my eyes. He's probably imagining me sleeping naked. Plus, what's with the reaction? It's not like he needed to imagine me naked—he's literally seen me naked.

"Are you going with Alisha?" he asked after a while.

"Nope."

"Sino'ng kasama mo?"

"Wala."

"Wala?"

"Yup. Solo trip."

Ibinalik ni Lui iyong tingin niya sa luggage ko. Bumalik ako sa kinakain ko. Ang sarap naman nito. Maka-order nga ulit pagbalik ko.

"Won't you bring any cover ups?" bigla niyang tanong.

"Maybe," sagot ko. "It's Bali—everyone's gonna be in bikini."

"Ano'ng oras flight mo?"

"11PM."

Bahagyang napa-kunot ang noo niya. "May connecting ka?"

Umiling ako. "Nope. Direct flight."

"Madaling-araw ang dating mo 'don?" he asked.

"Yes."

Lui pursed his lips and his forehead was slightly creased. Ngayon ko lang ata nakita iyong ganitong itsura niya. Napa-titig din tuloy ako sa kanya. It was like I could hear the gears running inside that head of his.

Akala ko ay magsstay pa siya kaso lang ay tumayo na rin siya. He just told me that he's leaving at nagmamadali siya na umalis. That freaking weirdo.

* * *

Pinagpatuloy ko na iyong pagpapack ko ng gamit. I'd be there for five days. I mostly brought bikinis in different shapes and colors. Nagdala na rin ako ng oversized polo for cover up. I also brought 3 oversized shirt para pantulog ko. Nagdala na rin ako ng sunglasses, baseball cap, slippers, at saka iyong The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo na hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko matapos-tapos. Hopefully ay matapos ko na siya ngayon.

At around 8PM, dumiretso na ako sa airport. Medyo mahaba lang iyong pila sa immigration, but wala namang masyadong tanong sa akin. Buti na lang 'di na ako inask pa about work ko after kong sabihin na nagresign na ako at nasa healing stage ako.

I got in early. After I saw kung nasaan iyong gate ko, umalis muna ako para maghanap ng coffeeshop. I got myself iced americano with double shot espresso. It's gonna be a long day for me plus ayokong matulog sa plane and ayoko namang matulog during airport transfer kahit naka-prepare naman na lahat.

I stayed in the coffeeshop for a while. I was just quietly reading my book and enjoying my coffee hanggang sa mag-alarm na iyong phone ko, signaling na kailangan ko ng pumunta sa gate for the boarding.

Pumila na agad ako for boarding kasi kailangan ko ng cabin space para sa bag ko. I got in the plane and made myself comfortable in my seat habang papasok pa iyong ibang mga kasabay ko sa flight. I wanted to close my eyes for a while, but I couldn't kasi baka biglang may bumagsak na luggage sa mukha ko at 'di ako maka-iwas. So, I was just listening to music while watching the people as they get in.

But then my eyes widened when I saw a familiar face.

I kept on closing and opening my eyes to check kung tama ba iyong nakikita ko o meron na ba akong coffee-induced hallucination because... what the hell?

"Sinundan mo ba ako?!" medyo malakas na pagkakasabi ko kaya naman may mga napa-tingin sa paligid namin.

Instead of answering, tumingin siya sa may babae sa tabi ko. Lui gave her a smile—iyong smile na ginamit niya sa akin dati para mapa-sunod niya ako mula sa club papunta sa condo niya. This devil!

"Hi," panimula niya doon sa may babae. The girl looked like she was in trance. "Can we switch seats?" he asked her.

The girl didn't even ask any explanation kung bakit magpapalit silang dalawa, but she just said yes. What the? Seriously? Iyon na 'yon?

I watched as the girl stood up from the middle seat. Lui put his bag doon sa cabin at para akong teenager na napa-iwas ng tingin nung biglang tumaas iyong shirt niya. Seriously, Tali? Nakita mo na 'yan? What's with the reaction?

"Buti naka-damit ka," sabi niya habang naupo siya sa tabi ko at sinuot iyong seatbelt. "Akala ko sasakay ka dito ng naka-bikini."

I looked at him and made face. "This is seriously stalking."

"Why? Ikaw lang pwedeng pumunta sa Bali?"

"Wala ka bang trabaho?"

"Friday ngayon."

"So? Balak mo akong sundan hanggang weekdays?" sabi ko sa kanya kasi hanggang Tuesday pa ako doon.

He shrugged. "Work from Bali," he replied.

"Seriously, Lui, what are you doing?" seryosong tanong ko sa kanya kasi hindi ko na rin maintindihan kung ano ang gusto niyang mangyari. Like, fine, we're in a relationship as far as Lance is concerned. He's helping me find another work kasi pakiramdam niya napaalis ako sa work ko dahil sa kanya. Fine, I could justify that in my head...

But this?

This was a bit too much para lang sa tao na nakokonsensya.

"Honestly, I don't know, and I frankly don't want to think about it too much," he said as he rested his head against my shoulders and closed his eyes. "It's been a long day, Tali. I'll take a nap first."

Napaawang iyong labi ko sa gulat dahil talagang natulog siya habang naka-sandal sa balikat ko! His lips were slightly parted and I could hear his light breathing. Kitang-kita ko iyong tangos ng ilong niya at iyong haba ng pilik-mata niya.

Ugh.

Fine, gwapo talaga. Hindi ko masisi iyong sarili ko na nabaliw ako. I mean, at the very least, nabaliw ako sa gwapo. Iyon na lang pampalubag-loob ko siguro.

Hindi ko alam kung gaano ako katagal na naka-titig kay Lui nung mapansin ko na naka-tingin din iyong babae sa may aisle seat sa kanya. Bastos na babae 'to, ah. I mean, 'di ko boyfriend si Lui, pero kita ng naka-sandal sa balikat ko? For all she cared, boyfriend ko 'to tapos tititigan niya? So, I stared at her. Mabuti na lang at nahiya kaya nag-iwas ng tingin.

Mukhang balak lang ni Lui matulog buong flight kaya naman nakinig na lang ako sa tugtog. I didn't want to sleep, too, but for some reason, I fell asleep... dahil nagising ako na naka-sandal na rin iyong ulo ko sa may ulo ni Lui.

My heart began to race at the realization that I was, once again, on the freaking edge. And then I began to panic and think about how I'd fucking survive this whole Bali trip with him... 

**

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