"Are you sure that you're up to this?" Tyrion disregarded your concerns with a wave of his hand and stumbled onto the table, doing his best to avoid the platters of wedding feast prepared for Joffrey's big day.

"I would like to thank everybody for coming tonight." Tyrion hopped over plates and cups as the wine in his hand sloshed over the goblet and fell to the floor, his words were slurred, confuddled and elongated. "We are all here to celebrate the wedding of my nephew, King Joffrey." The crowd erupted into claps, cheers and clinking cups, most of which you were sure had been forced under threat of the guards that lined the outside of the event. Joffrey watched intently as Tyrion spoke, his head resting lightly in his hand and his legs crossed. Once the crowd had settled, Tyrion continued.

"Unfortunately for most of you here, you have come because you have to, or because of the free feast." The joke was ill received by all the guests except yourself. "Oh, lighten up!" He jested, taking a very large gulp of wine before discarding the empty vessel.

"Tyrion get down now!" You spoke with a hushed tone, trying to get his attention before he ended up doing something that he would regret, not that it ever stopped him.

"It's okay dear." He bent down to pick up a half-drunk cup of wine to finish off. "Our King has asked me to perform a speech and unfortunately between the travesty of being a dwarf and fucking the army of whores that I apparently have I just haven't had the time to orchestrate anything."

"We all love our king don't we." The crowd nodded in agreement as did the head table. "We don't really have a choice, though do we. It's either bend over and accept his wrath or end up like poor old Ned." The aristocracy that had been invited to the event looked at each other in shock as Joffrey turned redder and redder after having had the proud smile wiped off his face. Joffrey looked up at his mother who just sat staring at Tyrion with a stony expression, probably planning the most painful way to end him, hopefully not taking advice from House Bolton.

"I think that is enough for your speech thank you, brother." Cersei stood up and tried to carry him off the table, but Tyrion managed to resist.

"Oh I am sorry that I'm not Jamie, but then again if he was here you probably would have been too busy holding your dress up and accepting his prestige cock so count it as a blessing."

~*~

Written by Aaron.