♡Gaurav's POV♡

I wake up to the sound of Roshni's voice and open my eyes slowly. She is sitting beside me on the bed with legs crisscrossed and her phone pressed to her ear.

"Don't worry Candy. You will definitely impress your seniors in this project. You are a hardworking and intelligent girl. You can do it."

I smile at her words and move closer to lay my head on her lap. This catches her attention and she smiles at me before going back to motivating her friend. While I close my eyes and feel her fingers caressing my forehead.

Ever since her kiss to my forehead two weeks back, we have rapidly grew closer. We have shared deeper secrets and talked on matters, which can be awkward for opposite genders to discuss. But we are too comfortable and never judged each other, which killed every last ounce of hesitation between us.

However, since three days a thought is bothering me.

Pratham.

Roshni thinks we are hiding the fact of our arrangement because he is Tanushree's brother. He might feel guilty to know that I had completely given up on relationships and opted for an arrangement. But I never corrected her misinterpretation and kept the truth hidden. Honestly, I don't have the courage to confess the same.

I made sure that we act like a loving couple in his presence, so he doesn't doubt a thing. He CANNOT know that I and Roshni are only friends, nothing more.

Though it didn't take much effort for my non-biological parents to detect the reason. Three days back, they came uninformed at my office. They asked me to share the truth with Roshni because she has every right to know. 

They are right, however I am scared to share the truth with Roshni. I don't know how she will react and honestly I am even more scared of my intuition. Their learning of truth can lead to something, which I don't have the heart to accept.

And this is confusing me from a couple of days. I don't know why the feeling of protectiveness is growing day after day towards her. I don't want to risk her safety at any cost. I want to see her happy and peaceful each day of her life. I can't bear the thought of tears in her eyes and-

"How is your headache now?"

I face her to find the same concern in her eyes, which I saw last night. These thoughts and confusion caused a severe headache. I couldn't sleep and tossed on the bed, which woke her up. Despite my refusal, she made a herbal tea and massaged my head till I fell asleep on her lap.

Her care undoubtedly helped my headache. Though it added to my confusion when I woke up after an hour to find her sleeping in the sitting position. My head on her lap and her fingers subconsciously caressing my forehead.

She didn't move to avoid disturbing my slumber and it stirred something in me. Something unknown and mostly indescribable.

Additionally, when I moved her to lay on the bed. I cuddled with her and kissed her forehead. 

Yes, she asked me to not ask before doing so, but I have only kissed her when she needed comfort or assurance. Never have I ever kissed her for my wish or touched until she would come to hold me in her slumber. It only adds to my confusion because I knew she is a heavy sleeper and doesn't feel a thing. I knew it's ethically wrong and I had practically taken advantage of her trust.

Yet I failed to stop myself, it feels as if my rationality had vanished at that time. I ignored every logic and did what my heart desired.

I am again pulled out of my thoughts when she calls my name. I sit up and run my fingers through my hairs in frustration. This is so confusing and I feel my headache returning with increased force.

"I...I will stay home today. I don't feel well."

"That's better. Take a bath till I make some soup for you. Take as much rest as possible. You will feel better by the end of the day."

I smile at her concern and watch her leaving the room. While I lay back on the bed with my arm over my head. She cares for me and this fact is making me happier than I should be.

What is this?

#

I sigh in defeat, while consuming the soup and avoiding the piercing gaze of my non-biological parents.

Since I skipped work, they decided to come home and pressurize me. They are highly determined to make me confess the truth to Roshni.

They have created a 'Do or Die' situation for me.

I turn to face Roshni, who is bringing the herbal tea for me with coffee for others. She takes her seat beside me on the dining table and asks if my headache has reduced.

Now how do I tell her the reason of my headache are sitting right in front of me.

Nevertheless, I give her an assuring nod and she smiles before informing that she has to leave for work. Her father got some important paperwork to be finished today itself. And Ruchi isn't trained enough to complete the same.

She apologised for leaving me in this state, but Jay and Durga assured to stay with me. Their words definitely expressed care for my health, but their true intentions will only increase my headache.

Soon after Roshni left, Durga raises her eyebrows before asking, "What is stopping you from sharing the truth, Gaurav? We have never seen you so stressed even in work matters that you have fallen sick. What is bothering you?"

I don't reply and continue to eat my soup, while she states, "Do you realise after our reunion with Pratham, he will be spending more time with us? That means there are high chances of them knowing the truth. Or Roshni can ask you to tell him about this arrangement. What will you do then?"

"Is it still an arrangement, Gaurav?" 

I freeze at my spot and face Jay to find no hint of humour in his eyes. He has asked me this question many times before, which was always a joke.

But now he seems utterly serious.

"You are scared of losing her, aren't you?" 

His question only adds to my confusion as I fail to deny his assumption. 

I leave the soup to stand and make my way to the bedroom. I can't take this stress anymore and need to divert my mind somewhere else. But Jay holds me back.

"You can avoid us, but can't hide the truth from yourself. Roshni has become more than what you had intended to make her. And you are unable to handle this fact. Right?"

I turn around to ask, "What truth? What has she become? What I can't handle?"

"First you us, why are you not confessing to her? Why have you spoiled your health in stress? What is stopping you?"

His questions silence me and he smirks, while walking closer to me.

"You are scared of Pratham doing, what he is best at, aren't you?"

I don't answer to him and he chuckles, shaking his head in disbelief.

"See Durga. Our son is scared of that friend with whom he wanted us to unite because he was lonely. Now what happened to that concern towards that 'friend'?"

Durga pulls Jay back and places her hand over my shoulder to give a squeeze.

"I will not force you to accept what your silence has proven. I understand your hesitation. But I am worried of them knowing through other source or realising on their own. Roshni has blind trust on you, don't lose it. Don't lose her in your fear, Gaurav."

Her words and concerned eyes stir that same thing in me as last night.

Why am I so scared? Why can't I just confess and finish this topic?

"And I hope, she doesn't get hurt in the process."

Her words answer my unasked question.

Hurt. I don't want to see her hurt.

Her three musketeers said last week when we met for a dinner that now she is as happy as she was before her life took a roller coaster ride. She smiles, giggles and talks more, which I don't want to lose. She deserves happiness and I will not take that away from her.

Durga hugs me before leaving with Jay, who only stares at me and doesn't say a word.

I guess that was not needed. He made me accept what I needed to and now I have to decide whether to confess the truth or not.

I still can't remove the fear of my intuition from my heart.

#

I watch the main door opening before she enters our home and keeps her keys back in her handbag. She faces me with surprise, while closing the door and walking to the couch where I am sitting.

"I thought you would be sleeping, so I used the keys. How is your headache now?"

"I am fine."

She opens her mouth to speak when her phone rings with a notification sound. She unlocks her phone and frowns at the screen.

I notice her face slowly losing it's calmness as she read something. It worries me and I stand to walk closer to investigate. While she sighs in frustration before tossing her phone on the couch.

"What was that?"

She forces a smile and shakes her head in negative. But I wasn't convinced so I grab her phone and check the last app she saw. It was an email app, I open to read the latest mail and she doesn't stop me.

My blood boils in rage. It was Danish's mail with the subject "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL."

That as$hole thinks there is something private and confidential between them? I swear, I will break all his bones if I find anything inappropriate in the mail.

Hey Rosh,
I don't know if you will read this mail or not. I just want to share my views with you. You know from past few days I am remembering you a lot and look at the coincidence, I saw you last week with your husband at the supermarket. I saw how he was forcing you to take the things which he likes. He was ordering you to cook so many dishes and made you drag the shopping cart. He doesn't deserve you, doesn' care for you. He only cares for himself and neglected your protests. I can see that you are not happy with him. I know you don't love me anymore, but remember that I will always be available for you. I will fight with your husband for you if you allow me. I promise.

This bloody swine. Jerk. Moron of an opportunist.

He is trying to create misunderstanding between me and Roshni.

And how dare he call her Rosh?

I press the reply button to give him a strong threatening mail, only for Roshni to snatch the phone from my hand. She deletes the mail from inbox and trash both then locks the phone screen.

"Why did you delete the mail? I wanted to reply to him for his cheap act to create misunderstanding between us."

She faces me to ask, "Why should I not delete the unwanted mail? And why do you want to reply to a nobody?"

I frown at her words and she walks closer to explain, "Gaurav, Danish and anything related to him means nothing to me. This is one of his old tricks to fool me and get back in my life. He has done that million times and I always fell for it. But now I have learned my lesson and decided to never give him any opportunity to enter back in my life. Because all he can give me is pain and false promises."

"But he needs to learn a lesson."

"How? By a strong threatening mail? Or explanation that I am your wife and nothing can happen between me and him? You think, this matter will end here?"

I remain silent and she smiles before holding my hand, "He will counter attack and give excuses, wrapped in emotional words. Then we will again send a reply to him and he will give excuses. This is a never ending process. The only way to end this matter is remove him from our life completely."

"But-"

"Revengeful intentions will not do any good to us, Gaurav. He means nobody to us, so why should we even give him a few minutes of our life? He never even deserved those few seconds to read the mail, which we have already wasted. So, planning a revenge or back answering takes lots of time and efforts, which cannot be wasted on a nobody. We should be utilizing this time for the people, we care."

I smile and she continues with a smile, "Here, I have a very special friend, who is suffering from headache since last night. So, I need to take care of him and he needs to tell me about his day at home. We have so much more important things to do. Right?"

I smile with a nod and pull her closer for a hug. She is right that person doesn't deserve our time and efforts to fight to prove our point. He is not worthy to waste our precious moments on him when I can just talk to her over a cup of coffee now.

"And most importantly, we share every single thing or incidents. We know each other and have blind faith then how can he create misunderstanding between us?"

Her words make me guilty for my actions. I am hiding something important from her and playing with her trust.

It makes me as wrong as Danish. How can I keep this fact from her when she has blind faith on me? I cannot be biased and hide anymore. I need to tell her now itself.

"Roshni."

"Hmm."

"I have something to confess to you."

She breaks the hug and faces me with raised eyebrows, while I prepare myself for her reaction.

"You thought that I am hiding the truth of our arrangement from Pratham because he is Tanushree's brother. Right?"

She nods and I confess, "That's actually not the real reason. The truth is something else."

"What?"

"Actually Pratham is a....a.....is a womanizer."

She frowns in confusion and asks, "Gaurav, I am unable to understand anything."

I take a deep breath and confess, "See Pratham is not a bad person. He just has a way with women and doesn't involve himself in a serious relationship. He flirts, dates, sleeps with them and then they are history. He doesn't forces them, but his charms always works on women. And he doesn't go for someone else's wife or girlfriend or relative. He respects other's relations and never even tried to flirt with Durga. That's why I-"

"That's why you kept the truth hidden from him otherwise he would flirt and use his charms on me. Because you thought, I would be ready to sleep with him. Right?"

Hurt.

I can see the same hurt in her eyes, which I was fearing to witness because this topic has given her heart the deepest and most hurtful wound from her parents.

Just a month before we met, Roshni had written a letter to her father. It said if he can find a man for her with similar past, who is hurt because of a failed relationship. Then he can understand her hesitation and give time to adjust into the marriage. She had promised to be a good wife and daughter-in-law. She only expected some time and space.

But her parents' reaction was unexpected and cruel. They declared, her relation with Danish was just a passing affair. Roaming and eating in a restaurant didn't make them a couple because she has done the same with her male classmates, friends and clients.

They said all that cannot be titled as relationships otherwise she had endless boyfriends and that would give her an inappropriate image.

Her parents broke her heart even more that day and she called herself a prostitute taking their words to another level. It took many days for her three musketeers to divert her mind and forget that chat.

Yet when she shared the incident with me a few days back, it brought those painful tears to her eyes and she cried for almost an hour in my arms. No word were able to calm her for the entire day.

I was fearing she will relate the two things and that's what she has done.

"Even you think, I will sleep with him if he gets to know that I am your wife only on papers? I will jump on him because I am a prostitute. Right?"

"No Roshni. I was just-"

"No wait. Let me count how many boyfriends I had. I am experienced you know."

She takes a step back and looks at her fingers to count on them, "Danish then I ate lunch in the college canteen with 5 boys, in the school and college trip I ate with over 100 boys including professors, Jerry's cousin, Navu's husband, Candy's brother, your brother Sourav."

She faces me with wide teary eyes and asks, "Hey. Can the kid Ayaan be part of the list too? He is just 11 months, so underage are allowed?"

"Roshni please."

"No no. I am an experienced prostitute. See my huge list of boyfriends."

I step closer to pull her in my arms as tears keep flowing from her eyes. But she pushes my hand away and walks in reverse to stay away from me.

Her stunt hurts me, but I need to explain to her, "Roshni, I know you will never sleep with him. Please stop hurting yourself in this way. I was just trying to protect you-"

"Your attempt to protect me is enough to prove that you have zero faith on me."

"No Roshni, I trust you and-"

She shakes her head with teary eyes and whispers, "I thought you will never hurt me or think negatively like my family does. Even Danish used to doubt my loyalty despite my dedication and endless efforts. I never thought that I will be proven wrong in your case. But even you are scared to set me free because you think, I will allow anyone to flirt and sleep with me."

"Roshni-"

"No, don't worry. Henceforth I will not even look at any man. I will cut off my friendship with Jay also. Wait I will delete his number from my phone."

She goes to grab her phone, but I hold her arms to push her against the wall. She struggles to escape from my strong hold, but I tighten my grip to restrain her movement.

"ENOUGH ROSHNI."

She shivers at my harsh tone, making me regret for shouting at her. But this is the only way she will listen to my real reason for hiding the truth.

"I trust you and the only reason to hide the fact was to protect your feelings. I didn't want Pratham to have an impression that you are available and starts flirting with you. Because when I showed him your photo before marriage, he got attracted you."

She stops struggling at my words and I wrap my arm around her waist to pull her in my arms. I wipe her tears and bend to kiss her forehead, but she leans away.

Her reaction hurts me, but it isn't her fault. Her mind is stuck on her parents' words and she needs to understand that I am not thinking like them.

Only positive thing is that she is allowing me to hold her.

I share, "I met Pratham after our day together for menu planning. He had a girl at his home even during that time and when I told him of our marriage. He wasn't happy because he always dreamed to see his sister there, but said nothing. Then I showed him your photo and his eyes remained glued for over a minute. I saw the same look on his face when he wanted to have a specific girl. When I casually reminded him that I am marrying you. He immediately composed himself and I have noticed since then he has never seen him with that same look. But he has stopped having girls since that time and never gave a proper answer on my quest, so I preferred to hide."

I cup her face and wipe the fresh tears, escaped from her eyes and state, "I didn't want him to flirt and play with your feelings. I know, you were hurt in the past and I just wanted to avoid repetition of history. Please believe me Roshni, I trust you."

"No you don't." She pushes me away and states, "Your reason explains why you wanted to hide from Pratham. But why did you hide from me? You feared for me to sleep with him, didn't you?"

"No, I didn't. Roshni, I thought it wasn't needed because-"

"Oh! It wasn't needed. Seems like I am the only fool here, who shares everything despite it hurts me to remember. It's my fault to expect from you because I forgot this is just an arrangement and I mean nothing to you."

"You matter to me-"

She raises her hand to stop me and shakes her head to deny, "No need to give any excuses or explanations. I understand. I am sorry to expect."

"No-"

She shakes her head and turns to walk towards our room. Tears flowing from her eyes and lips pressed to avoid crying louder.

I have done what I promised to never do. I have hurt her with that knife, which has given her the maximum pain. It took her a long time to trust and share her past with me. I knew remembering and sharing hurts her, still I encouraged her. She trusted me to never hurt her and I lost her trust now.

But most importantly, I RUINED our bond.

************

That's all for now.....will update next part as soon as possible.....hope you liked this part, do give your reviews...till then Keep Smiling and Take Care

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