|Lucille at the top! x|

When Greg finally decides to grace us all with his royal presence, we're already halfway through dessert.

His peanut-coloured eyes scan us all with superiority before sitting down to eat. The conversation at the table flows from subject to subject, avoiding talking about the one event that's coming up in a month. With ease, and maybe a little awkwardness, we all talk and laugh. Family dinners are always the best - minus Greg of course. He's just an asshole. 

"So, any exciting things happening for any of you this year?" Dad inquires, spooning his chocolate dessert into his mouth after. Lava cake has always been his one and only preference when it comes to sweet food. 

"The most exciting thing I'll experience this year is handing in late assignments," I murmur half disappointed, half relieved. "I'm a rebel like that."

Lela rolls her hazel eyes before they suddenly light up. We both have hazel eyes - from our mum - but Lela's are brownish blue while mine are greenish brown. "Actually, I have something exciting to share with everyone!"

Dad smiles warmly, Greg raises a skeptical dark brow and I observe curiously.

"What's that, Hun?"

"Well, since I'm in my fourth year of my Laws degree, I have the opportunity to spend my one semester studying abroad at one of Mendova University's partner law schools."

Silence falls over the table like a blanket until Dad clears his throat shoots her another smile, showing his support. "Where are the schools located?"

Lela's fingers draw together, fidgeting. "North America, Europe and Asia." 

"Hasn't the semester already started though?" I ask, confused and frowning.

Her olive-tinted face lights up again. "They said I can still go and continue the rest there. I've wanted to go since the start of my degree. I even applied for the scholarship because without it I wouldn't be able to afford it, but I didn't think I would get it. They had two rounds of scholarship winners and I won it on the second round which is why I'll be getting there a little late."

"That's fantastic, congratulations!" Our dad beams at her, reaching across the table to grab her hand, gripping it in pride. "Which one have you decided to attend?"

"Europe! I'm so excited!"

Greg finally speaks up, both eyebrows raised while shielding unreadable almonds. "That's great, Lela. When will you be leaving?"

"Uh, on Friday."

"Friday!" I really didn't mean to yell it so loud. But nevertheless, that's what I did. 

Dad scolds me while Lela glances at me, nerves swimming with the amber flecks swirling around her irises. 

"This Friday?" My mind starts running around in circles at the though of Lela leaving for so many months. Especially now. "What about... next month?"

Greg shifts in his seat, eyes growing more distant. Dad, however, just lets out a sad sigh. "Fable, be happy for your sister. This is a great opportunity for her and next month shouldn't come in the way of that. She still needs to live her life."

Ignoring my dad because I know he's right, I turn back to Lela wallowing in sorrow. "Surely the scholarship doesn't cover everything."

"For the most part it does but for anything else, I have some money saved up. I've been saving for the last three years."

"How come you're only telling us now?" I continue my interrogation.

My sleeveless arms come to fold in on each other over my chest as I stare at Lela, awaiting an answer.

"There was a massive possibility I wouldn't be going and I only found out for sure the other day. I know this is shit timing but I'm really excited. Please be happy for me, Fabes." Lela's use of her nickname for me, paired with her pleading hazel eyes, have me caving.

"I am happy for you," I pause, trying to process how I feel and knowing that deep down, I mean it, "I'll just miss you like crazy."

Lela pushes away from the chair and lifts until she's upright. "Come here, give me a hug." Following her instructions, I get up and wrap my arms around her waist in a tight embrace. The smell of sweet lilies and fresh poppies fill the air around me. "I'll miss you too, lil' bro." 

***

My body seems to have zoomed through the past two days without my mind interrupting. I guess you could call me The Flash with how fast I run away from my deepest feelings. I'm someone who can only express surface emotions, too terrified of anything at the bottom of my twilight zone. However, one of the only deep emotions I allow myself to access is love; self love and familial or platonic love.

I believe it's important to love and accept yourself for who you are - what's the point in hating yourself when there's no one else like you? Plus, this is the body you were given for the rest of your life. 

Sure, you can diet and exercise if you hate the extra weight or lack of curves but I can assure you that after that, you'll find something else about yourself to hate. Or maybe you'll keep trying to make yourself skinnier because you've become obsessed and hate yourself so much that you can't see how beautiful you are. 

You wouldn't even think you're skinny anyway, your mind will be programmed to still think you're "fat".  It doesn't matter what you do, you're still you and in order accept your appearance, you have to love yourself from the inside. 

A fist pounding against my forehead causes me to jolt. "Hey, anyone in there?"

Groaning, I shove Lucille's fist away. "What?"

"You zoned out," Micah inputs, walking into his living room with two bowls of popcorn.

"Two?" I question. "There's only three of us and Lucille hates popcorn so it'll only be us two eating it."

As if on cue, Keilyn waltzes through the unlocked door with a smug grin stretching his swollen lips. "Hey, Bitches." He plops his lean body down on the floor, facing the honey-coloured, old, tattered couch I'm lying down on.

"'Sup, Hoe." Lucille giggles. "So who did you just hook up with?"

Keilyn's grin widens - If it gets any bigger, he'll resemble The Joker. Satiation spreading across his features, grassy eyes following Lucille's movements as she bounces up and down on the balls of her feet before she sits next to him. I move my body so that it's in a sitting position, crossing my legs. 

Keilyn starts smirking. "Well, you know how I said I needed to get laid the other day..." his voice trails off, his features twisting slightly as he watches Micah sit down on the couch next to me. 

Micah notices why Keilyn stopped and I observe as something flickers briefly across his features. It's too quick for me to decipher, but from what I could tell, it wasn't what I would consider a 'surface emotion'.

He sighs sadly, blinking at Keilyn. When he speaks, it's so soft that if the room wasn't already silent then it would be inaudible, "I'm not homophobic, Kei."

Surprise crosses Keilyn's eyes. "You're not?"

"Of course not." Micah's gazes intensely at Keilyn. "You being bisexual doesn't matter to me. I told you that last semester."

Keilyn stares at Micah with another ocean-deep emotion. "Okay."

Lucille clears her throat over-dramatically. As soon as the sound reaches their ears, they start avoiding the each other's glances.

Why can't they just make up and move on?

"Anyway," Keilyn starts, his attitude no longer smug, "some guy from class asked for my number, we started talking. Turns out he's bisexual too so we met up at his place and... yeah."

I sneak a discreet glance

Lucille squeals. "Awesome! I wanna get laid," she sighs.

"You what?" I laugh, this being the first time I've heard this.

"I'm sick of being a virgin. I just wanna get it over with."

"Since when?"

"Since my friends - well, friend - brags all the time about getting some."

Since I've known Lucille, she's always been one of those girls who act innocent but secretly wants to be pinned against the wall. In a good way.

I mean, unless she's into sadism.

Dates weren't something being thrown at Lucille in high school. Up until a year and a half ago, she had terrible acne, braces and a multi-coloured bob cut. Now, I'm not saying she was ugly. To me, those things don't make a person 'ugly'. But she felt ugly and people at school would give her a lot of shit. After her braces were taken out and her skin finally cleared up, she dyed her hair platinum blonde and decided to stop letting her mum cut her hair. She also started wearing a small amount of make up to accentuate her features and even changed her style to be a little more flattering.  

Since then, she acts more confident and overall, happy. Which has been amazing to see, I'm so proud of her for overcoming her insecurities. She didn't stop getting bullied at school though; instead, she would get called derogatory names like 'slut', 'whore', and 'a used towel that never gets washed'.

I know, the last one's a bit specific but it was the bullies' favourite to say.

Keilyn moves until his back rests against the front of the couch, stretching out his legs as he faces the TV. I notice everyone facing that way and when I look forward, I'm confused.

When the hell did they put on Harry Potter?

Shrugging to myself, I grab one of the bowls of popcorn and start watching. After Harry Potter finishes, we watch Scary Movie 3 and then F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Those few hours pass by without much speaking - except for when someone points out plot holes, laughs, makes a pun, or gushes about how hot Joey Tribbiani is. The last one being from Keilyn and Lucille. 

"Which one of the girls would you fuck, Micah?" Keilyn turns his head towards him as he asks, midnight hair being pushed out of his eyes with his hand. 

I can feel Micah stiffen next to me but he answers without a hitch. "None of them are really my type. If I had to choose though, it would be Monica."

"Monica?" I let out a loud laugh. "Most guys say Rachel."

He shrugs."I prefer dark haired girls."

Lucille and I chuckle, while Keilyn just nods thoughtfully, his bright green eyes wandering to me. "What about you?"

My body instinctively shuffles in my position, rejecting the question. Knowing I have to fake it to seem normal, I smirk. "Hmm, I reckon Jill."

"Rachel's sister?" Lucille gasps, "That's smart. She is played by Reese Witherspoon after all and Keilyn didn't specify which girls."

"That's true. Nicely played." Keilyn laughs. He's about to press play on the paused screen when Micah stops him.

"Wait a minute, I've been meaning to ask you all something."

"What's that?" I ask, eyebrows raising up.

"There's a party on Friday. You're all invited."

Keilyn and Lucille's eyes both light up at the invite, basically dancing where they sit. "Really? Where at? I haven't heard anything."

Micah glances at Keilyn. "You know Jett in our year? My friend?" He nods slowly. "Well it's at his. Although he's not the one hosting. His flat mate - Raidon - is. I don't know him that well but he told Jett to invite whoever, so yeah. Jett'll probably stay in his room though, knowing him."

"Wait... Raidon Hart? The most popular guy in our year?" Keilyn's voice has gone up an octave as his eyes widely look at Micah in amazement. "Count me in!"

"Hold on, if this is a second year party then I thought first years wouldn't be welcome?" Lucille wonders, tilting her small head, allowing her blonde hair to pool onto the arm of her chair.

Micah winks at her. "Only a small number of them can come - either those who are invited by the tenants of the flat or their good friends. Jett and I are pretty tight so that includes me, even if Jett won't be around."

Everyone starts discussing the details of the party while I retreat into my own mind. It's not that I don't like to party, I just don't like to drink in case I say or do something I'll regret. Plus, when people go to parties, it's usually to hook up with people and I'm not really interested in doing that.

Lucille breaks my train of thought and places her hand on my arm. "You're pretty quiet, Fable. You're coming, right?"

I sigh, looking at Lucille with apologetic eyes and answer quietly, "I don't think I will because that's quite a, um, busy day for me."

One of her ashy brows shoot high. "Busy? How?"

"I told you how Lela leaves on Friday, yeah?" When she nods, I continue, "Well Dad and I are going to the airport with her that afternoon."

"What about Greg?"

"He said he'd try to make it but we both know what he's like." I roll my eyes, irritation bubbling up my throat. Lucille must notice because she squeezes my arm gently and offers me an understanding smile.

"I'll just go to the party with those two idiots. Don't worry about it, alright? But if you want me to stay with you after Lela leaves, I don't mind skipping the party." Sapphire eyes inspect my face with caution.

"Have your fun, Lucy," I encourage, "I'll be fine."

"Okay, only if you're sure though."

"I am."

Those stupid deep feelings that hang out at the bottom of my emotional pool start to rise. Before they can reach the top and crash into me like harsh waves, I wrap an anchor around them and they start sinking back down. 

Good, now stay down there forever.

***

Ａｕｔｈｏｒ'ｓ Ｎｏｔｅ：

Hope you guys are enjoying it! x 

Who is your fave character so far? 

I love you and thank you for your support! I seriously appreciate it so much! 💖

- Chloe x

Ｃｈａｐｔｅｒ＇ｓ Ｓｏｕｎｄｔｒａｃｋ：

4. I Think I'm OKAY - Machine Gun Kelly, YUNGBLUD

5. I'll Be There For You (FRIENDS Theme Song) - The Rembrandts

6. Anxiety - Julia Michaels, Selena Gomez

(Access complete soundtrack on Spotify by searching 'Game Face Soundtrack', my account name is xchloexkaydeex - there will also be a link on the in line comments -->)