I wish I could say I knew
I wish that I could tell you how I felt
When my heart leapt from my chest onto the street
Dodging every single obstacle
My palms sweaty, my head following my heart onto the street
Looking for the green fields where everything blooms
My breath unsure of its weight, flowing over the flowers far away
Leaving rustling leaves in its path
I set a step back from you, into books
Into a world not my own but alike

From the outside, I'm looking in
I'm trying to make sure you feel alright by putting my hands on your shoulders
Giving you a smile I practiced daily in the mirror
Hoping you will still like me when that particular day comes
You seem convinced, while I'm definitely not
You seem so convinced of what you feel
You express yourself in words, in gestures of love
How could I ever return them without exposing
Who I really am?

The books I read have happy endings
They reveal truths of all kinds of love
But we're not there yet
I'm still exploring who I am, while a part of me
Already knows everything there is to know
For now I keep searching for the right words to say
To you, and everyone else I will meet one day
I'll find the courage and maybe
You will stay either way