I always feel like people dismiss me. Like they look at me and are immediately disinterested in my mortal being. I feel like it's because they see in soulless and empty which is true but that hasn't stopped me from living

Yet

I say that because I know people don't like me. People randomly just hated me in third grade for no reason (explained to me) and thinking about it now, when we get older a person could be standing over my dead body

Or

I could be standing over theirs.

I also feel dismissed by friends sometimes. Like they see me and don't want to be around me. That could be for reasons like they're trying to talk to someone else and I'm butting in or they hate me. And aren't really my friend.

And they see me and they're like "why is she still alive"

I'm only a young smol cinnamon roll
Why would I- actually wait.

I could be dead from a number of reasons.

I probably made a person worry for me and I'm sorry that the things I say make you concerned but dear person can I just remind that I accept that things die. I just don't want things to die at certain times.

That's generally my anxiety

:|

I fear the thought of losing people now

I want people to die happy or rightfully not die while they're asleep by a mass murder

Even if that's what I become

I care too much for people other than myself. And because of that i believe is why

i don't take very well care for myself

mentally and physically and emotionally.

Socially... Eh. That can burn.

I'm also not saying that me caring for people such as you reader is bad. I'm just saying that when I thought about myself or realize who am I and the things I was told by others about me, I don't like myself

So I try to be social as possible around friends
To scare away the thoughts of hate

Wow I got deep fast.

...

AND THATS HOW POTATOES ARE MADE

AND SAD LONELY PATHETIC PEOPLE ARE TOO

LIKE

MYSELF

ILL SHUT UP PLEASE DON'T KILL ME

seven kinds of tea

That sounds absolutely disgusting to me

Why am I not asleep

I've closed my eyes for ten minutes

It's almost freaking 2 am.

I need sleep yet I can't

MITSUDUFIGOGG

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IM DOING

It's 2:02

kill me

It's been 8 minutes and right now sleep seems like a prefect idea

why body why.

Morning edit:  ...... Oh.