Chapter Seventeen- Setbacks

Before update, I want to thank you guys. You readers are my strength..second thing, Its bday treat for sayeda di. Syeda4you Yar mange with it. Third thing- TanujaThagela you are inspiring me for this story as always.
Fourth thing- not edited update..and next will be after sunday. And This is longgg chapter

NAINITAL

RAJVEER

His eyes stung. His breath hitched and shoulders slung down. Face devoid of any emotions and hair disshelved. His state was worse than Naina'.

She had gone away. She had left him at the door of hell where neither he could get entry nor run away. His feet would never help him too. Standing on door he was just soaking wet with sweat and bearing burns of his oqn deeds.

Karma is a bitch, isnt it!

Few months ago on the altar he the same captain rajveer Singh Shekhawat was hoping for sooner end of his infant marriage. And now when its all over between him amd Naina, he is hoping to go back. Go back to where all this started!

The day abhimanyu the leech offered him immoral. The day his blame was ahifted to her. His hate was born for her the same day.

Rajveer stopped his jeep.

The moment Naina sprinted away, the room turned haunted for him. He got scared. He ran away leaving everything behind. Naveen, If happened to see him, would have questioned. Annie too had her share of questions. But for Raj all those questions were fatal. He wanted to breathe in open hence discarded his path through choking cords hanging loose on his head.

But on Nainital Highway why he was still feleling sufficated! Why it was still clogged for him! Why His mind was still arpund her when he was far away!

He had been right all along...

Naina'd have her good night sleep but he would never. She'd released her grief but....he was now waist down deep into waters. And shore....he had no shore.

He slumped into his seat and let his head fall on the driving wheel. His body was tensed so was his mind.

Guilt was heavier than lead. It was able to drown him no matter who was his support!

Naina was not guilty. His heart had screamed time to times but those days his insecurities was winning over him.

Yes! Insecurities led him to this end where a silent treatment felt him under his belt. He was not at all guilty...no he was not. His past was responsible for all his vices. His actions had a base whose roots were long buried  in his isolated past.

He was made to learn not to belive women completely. Come on...He was the diatant one always and when he was able to overscome his less communication skills, Nandini's actions made him return back to his shell. He began to lessen his believe on women and let doubt creep there to make their place. His failed love life forced him to be what he was today.

Yes. Inside him there were so many broken panes. So they were able to tear the delicate thread of his marriage.

Raj started his jeep without having a slightest idea of where he had to go. He pressed accelator and let the jeep go. But soon he found himslef wandering in dark...seeking his lost torch.

Naina....

Only she was able to make him alive again. Only she.....

But....

But he was not able to face her..not after her truth came out and washed him over , dragged him to gulf and threw him into trench of mariana.  It was not as before...

When he had misbehaved with her before Shal' dinner treat, he was abke to face her even after his inside had declared him a demon under skin of human. Even after his so many misdeeds he was able to see into her eyes and talk her...but right now just thought of seeing her could twist his inside and pierce into his soul.

When he could not take it, he stopped the jeep and got down. The place around him was jungle. Dark and silent. But he was not dark yet silent. He was dark and huge uproar was going inside him. Every cell of his body was showing him mirror and every time he was bleeding after looking at his shaded image...

He could not live like it. No....Guilt was slow poisoning him. And it had not been twenty four hours for his face off with truth...He was feeling lifeless yet he could  hear his thumping heart.

This life was worse than death!

Rajveer Singh Shekhawat never had been in such state. He used to be a noble and humble soul......but....

.......his past and present entangled him into cowbebs and his every effort was tightening the holds on him. He was in middle somewhere where neither he had a door nor a window. Those cowbebs were maligning him only...Staining his soul in process.

Rajveer breathed in and out. And again..breathed in and out. Again did same...and shouted.....

His cries though returned to him and told him....

.....Setbacks in this relation had caused him his everything. No matter who was guilty and why...He was suffering here. And every single moment of his life was killing him slowly slowly. He was sure he'd never die..but at this pace the guilt would suck all his life and make him a walking corpse.

He needed release...and ambulatory passageway in the temple of his relation unfortunately passed through Naina....

NAINITAL

NAVEEN.

He was tensed. Naina had not opened door of study neither he could see that idiot Raj again. Moreover Annie was spitting fire at him after getting to know about his biased decision when he let raj see Naina.

'Mujhe to ye samajh nahi aata ki tumko buddhi he bhi ya nahi! Look at your sister. Kya chahte ho! Wo jaan de de apni? Naveen...Tum kitne bade bewkoof ho..ye batao. You never had your doubts. You never had any insecurities regarding your sister! Mana ki Raaj dost tha tumhara but still you had your duty. You should have called her. You should have asked about her well being...lekin nahi..Raj to tumhara best friend he....Naina ko kabhi problem hogi hi nahi uske sath..because indirectly she had to share a relation with him because the naveen ahaluwalia was the link between. Damn you! You men deserve no better place than hell. Man to karta he me tumhara gala ghont du! Kis kutte ne kata tha ki tumne Raj ko naina se milne ki permission de di? Tell me...what the hell you thought that ypu let that bastard see her! Bolooo..'

He had to keep his lips shut. Yes. He let him see her. He gave him what he didn't deserve. He gave him second chance. Why? Because he was his best friend? Or he also believed the theory of so called second chance!

But looking at annie and her temper Naveen had to give up and speak..

'Yaar Anita..Its the other way around. Me....I was aware of Naina and problems regarding her past. But I knew Raj too.. jitni asani se usne mujhe har baar accept kiya I thought he'd do same with Naina. But I never got to know he'd do this with her! I still can't believe ki Raj Naina se divorce le raha he. Mera..Raj...He was....I can't explain you  Anita. Its different story.' He sighed and then sat on the couch..Anita was hovering him with spatula in her hand with an apron bound tightly around her petite waist.

'Raj sirf mera dost nahi tha. We had a connection. Me usko jitni acchi tarah se jaanta tha...shayad koi nahi jaanta hoga. But again human mind is the most difficult and strange thing. So I never had a slinghtest idea how he was behaving with her. Moreover whenever I called Naina she sounded chirpy. Unfortunately it was after three or four months their marriage.'

He looked into her eyes...to tell her he had no vague clue about it...

'Raj mere dost hone ke satb sath Naina ka husband bhi he. I can try my best for being her sole support but....in the end it will be her husband who is going to be her support. I have my life. Believe it or not..today or tomorrow or after years there'll be a day when she'd wish for her own family..Aur tab....Shayad me usko yu akela dekh kar pachhtau...ki agar mene ek mauka de diya hota to misunderstanding clear ho jati and she'd have been happy too. Annie...try to understand. Consider my point too...I could be biased but I was not wrong!' He softly spoke..

Soon he found her hugging him. Her arms went around his neck and lips kissed his hair.

'I can understand you. Lekin naveen....Raj ka yu aise achanak...Divorce ki baat karna. Aur naina...she is silent too. Jab se aayi he room me band he. Kabhi kuch share nahi karti...I can see her forced smiles and her swollen eyes too. Upar se ye kamina Raj bhi bina mile nikal gaya. Don't you think ki daal me kuch kala he? There is a hidden side of story we don't know.' In response Naveen hummed..

'Jo bhi ho...I am not going to invite Raj in our wedding. Aur agar wo aya to me tumse shadi nahi karungi. Final.'

He jerked up and looked at her with horror filled eyes..

'Meri shadi ka meri dosti se kya relation! Tu shadi mujhse karegi na ki raaj se! Come on annie. Shadi ke liye important dulha he na ki uske dost..this is wrong. So wrong'

And he faced her again with high temperature..hands on her hips and body bent forward to intimidate him.

'Matlab tumhara nikamma dost meri shadi me aayega! To final...me tumse shadi nahi kar rahi....And yes...dont you dare opt for any kind of relation with a woman. Poore nainital me duada dauda kar maarungi...aur saans bhi ni lungi..'

And she left him...pondering over broken marriage of him as well as his sister. Well...his was going to be soon...and divorce was on the way. Not good for his health..

Delhi.

HOTEL DAWN.

Whole hall was decorated lavishly and on top of that the light arrangement was splendid.  People was running here and there. Some were gossiping while some were having food. Few were on dance floor too..

Captain. Alekh sharma and doctor Shalini was standing near music arrangement.

And doctor whacked Captain sharma.

'Aedi doctor! Agar phirse haath lagaya to aai shapath! Bahar phenk dega apun tere ko!'

'Shut up. Udhar dekho...Captain Leela...Koi naya pateela lekar aayi he. Jaha tak I remember iska kisi major Laal ke sath romance tha. Aaj ye Laal itna hara kaise ho gya?'

Shalini wondered

'Kyunki Major laal ke pyaar ki lanka me Tumhare dost Naveen ne hi aag lagayi he. Last week uski wife ne usko poore base ke saamne divorce ki dhamki di...aur chhah saat raseed bhi kiye he..'

It was none other annie who was shining in her opal coloured lahnga and a tiara on her head..

'Rapchik lag reli he annie tu! Dekh kar..lahi naveen se pahle koi aur tere ko uda na le jaaye!'

Well this remark cost him one more slap from shal.

'Tum saare mard hote hi tharki aur insensitive ho. She is head over heels him. Aur tum chahte ho ki Annie ko koi le jaaye...Tum mar gaye ho kya? Kaose bhai ho?'

Alekh was taken aback..

'Bhai! Apun bhai kab bana? Aur ye kya he doctor! Har dusri ladki tu apun ko chep deti he bahan bana kar! Mene jan sewa ke dra nahi khola..'

Shalini came forward with her hand on her hips..

'Kyaa matlab! Captain sharma...mat bhoolo tumhari ek biwi he jo is waqt almost five months pregnant he! Me ye baat bolu usko?'

And it caused alekh a mini jeart attack..

'Mata! Baap ban jaane de...Chhah saal baad Hi sahi..Progress huya he apun ka. Is baar no villain...please.'

Annie smiled seeing both fighting like tom and jerry. They always helped in bringing tension down wherever they were present.  And right now she too needed a light headed conversation because her life was also having too many blips.

Having engagement midst crisis in Naina' life never seemed fine to her but naveen' parents forced her saying at least it would hold naveen at peace who was howling like a mad dog since and then. But only Annie knew how disturbed he was. Parents were busy in their own world but naveen, she and naina all three were struggling with same problem. Stress. Because Naina had gone back to her previous state...She had returned to those darks. She had been that distant silent Naina again..all because of a single misunderstanding.

But....perhaps this is life. Sorrows and happiness both are part of this cycle amd it never stops. Hence they had to live...because perhaps that was only thing they could do...

Naina became persistent and aloof. Their effort were going in vain..perhaps this change in atmosphere could help her forgetting her past a bit..

So engagement was taking place here in delhi where her parents and Naveen' parents were present along their colleagues...

She then prayed for absence of one of Naveen' colleague....He was not needed here....

'Anita..Ye dekho. Tumhara bhukkhad fiancèe tab se chaar plate samose kha chuka he. Stop him..warna log washroom me aakr gifts denge!'

She heard Her friend calling her. She went to her...praying for Naina. Hoping she wouldn't have to face same thing again...specially someone.

NAINA.

She was sitting near artificial fountain in backyard of venue. It was an isolated area and right for her. She wanted secluded corner to think over...more like rethink over and over. Well it was the cycle since past few weeks.

She ,not even wanting, had to disclose her past to him. She not even in her dream wanted to tell everything because she had known he wouldn't believe. But...Her heart who was fragile and naive forced her to open her book and let him read those pages which were painful. She wanted to forget those days when she was so scared. Those days when she wanted to die because who knew when some major or captain would come and blackmail her to discard her clothes and get naked for him, to please him..Her body had been used for pleasure many times. And this effected her soul. Her fears overpowered her and soon she was in hell hole of depression. She would rub her body, scrub it and scratch it to remove dirt and sins of those horny bastards. She would sometimes cut her. Sometimes she would punch walls until her body had no particle of energy left...

It was horrible phase.

But Naveen amd anita helped her. Thats why she was so benevolent of her brother. She could die for him because she owed her life to him.

She wiped her eyes. These days tears had become so sneaky. They would silently escape territory of her eyes even before lashes nodding their permission.

She closed her eyes. It was life after all...and after so many hurdles and hurts she was able to live this span. She would live rest too.

She picked her glass of lemonade and sipped. 

'Damn! Again Shal handed me glass full of lemons only. I just haye it..arrggg!'

She was about to stand and throw her glass when a new glass came into her vision.

She was taken aback..who the hell happened to apparate here all of sudden!

'Take this. It is perfect.'

She heard that Voice....smooth and nostalgic. Her knees buckled and she almost slipped. Thanks to her adjacent railing she was able to support herself.

But she dared not to look up. Not this time...No..not again. She knew if she saw something soft in those back orbs, she'd let her heart rule her again. And her fragility would coat her something big this time..

No naina...Don't.

But she did. And saw what her heart in past few weeks was craving. Though it was dull but was able to cause so many skipped beats.

He was there....beard unshaven and baggy eyes. He had become thinner too..his shirt was loose as well as his shades who could not hide his troubled eyes.

Come out. Its facade. Mist..only mist. Its not real..

She kept on staring. And he did too. No words exchanged neither the glasses of lemonade...

She lost the track of time. Her space time began to curved...slowly slowly....letting time stopping in process.

Her relativity was disturbed with his words..

'How...How are you?'

She could only nod. Heart racing and skipping beats..

She heard his deep intake of breath...and then heard him speaking.

'Umm...I....I dont know how to begin. But....Naina. I....I...I am sorry. I have been wrong all the time. I did all kinds of wrong to you. I....'

Perhaps he choked. Naina felt bad...despite him being insensitive to her all the time, her emotions flew barring all her norms for him...

'I want you to come back...please...Come back. I can't live...You left me dying but still bReathing. Its worse than living naina..Me saans nahi le pata hu. I know I deserve this..all of this. But....I want you to know that me...Mera past...my insecurities...my fears...my doubts...I was stuck with my vices. Me..I was unable to see. After failure in first romantic relation, I became paranoid. Aur uska Sila tumko mila...Mene tumhare sath badtameeji ki..Misbehave kiya..but you..........'

She saw him falling on the floor...and her heart rushed to hold him but couldn't. Her body had become rigid...

'Naina.....I beg you. Please...let me start afresh with you..give me a chance to hold you. Give me a chance to heal you..because I am the biggest reason behind your wounds. You know Naina....me ...me kayi raato se nahi soya hu..Har baar tumhari awaz mujhe jaga deti he. Your pains are haunting me. I am sooo guilt ridden..Jeena mushkil he. Please naina..I want to live. Give me a chance...please..'

And it brought her back...the person sitting on his knees in front of her, in poor state was not here for her. He was here for himself....

She laughed....bitterly...until her eyes welled up.

Opening her eyes she saw his confused face....

'Kabhi kabhi me sochti hu...ki Life mujhse hamesha majak kyu karti he! Now I got to know...I am a fool Thats why. You know what Rajveer.....Aise yaha tumhe dekh kar I built so many castles in air....Ab jab jameen par giri hu na...to samajh nahi aa rah ki hasu ya royu! And I found myself a great joke...so hasna pada..'

'I have forgiven you long back. Karna pada...aur koi option nahi tha. Now you can live happily. Mere dard tumhe nahi satayenge because I am happy... I am alone but happy. Bahut khush hu..Tum bhi khush raho. Because I the poor creature Naina is happy. Dont worry. You never did the damage. I was already broken. Come on. Be a man. You can't stop living for someone like me...Go ahead. Life is beautiful.........

.....

.....

....
.

..for you..Captain shekhawat.'

And she left....crying silently. Every hope does not turn into wish. And not every wish comes true....

....she had no energy left for being someone else' redemption. Its become too much to take now..She was tired of acting puppet...

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