NAINA

When Naina opened her eyes, Bed next to her was cold. He might have been up before her. Though it upset her little, she could not deny the fact last night was the most beautiful night of her life. At the same time the most unrealistic and unexpected one too.

She had never thought Rajveer'd come close to her...and this much...never she thought about it. She remembered the way he had reacted after seeing her all decked up first time. That was not only boorish but cruel too. But she forgot it...slowly slowly when Alekh and Shal began to pamper her through their forced intruding ways. Like whenever she was eating alone, they forcefully sat with her and shared her plate...not without blaming each other and putting up a fight where shal was always winning and punching alekh in guts. It was so awkward in beginning but later she accustomed to it. And they also made her open her hidden side...a mischievous and planner Naina who was pro when it comes to take revenge. Naveen had been her prey many times. In her academy days she had trapped many seniors also. After each ragging their lost uniforms, their untidy beds, their broken taps, locked cupboards and the biggest punishment- their lost ids..It used to be Naina' courtesy. But as life happened to her, she lost this side. Soon she became gloomy one. But after coming in KMA and joining here she had to bring that side out. It was to be done because pressure was unavoidable.

Life always was a dice for her. She never knew when which side would come up. She never knew when she'd get lucky or when her misfortune'd hit her. It was so unpredictable....specially in her case.

With Raj....same had happened. It was good that he was attracted to her but it was bad that lust took their nascent relation  to a sudden mature notch. What if it brought them back to square one again!

She shuddered. Happily living and enjoying bliss of kitchen and friendship..she had grown greedy. She wanted her little happiness to last forever but.......

Like as before there was a speedbreaker...shocker that took place last night.

She went to bathroom with bed sheet and dumped it into washing machine and set to take bath. A sudden look on her body told her how famished both had been when it came to carnal urges. Hickeys all over...and hard to hide. A blush crept up to her cheek...

Whatever it was last night with him it was nothing less than bliss....in heaven...she felt her self. Being wedded to him gave her hopes but performing marital right gave her immense pleasure..

Well...it gives everyone same....immense pleasure thats why people perform it!

 
She laughed at her very own sassy remark. Damn! This was close to a maniac.

She took her bath and soon came out. She the  went to kitchen as it was around late afternoon she had woken up. So now she was famished. She needed food more than anything. And thank god. There was some left in refrigerator. Well..thabks to Raj. It was really generous of him otherwise making efforts for cooking something edible was now out of her league. Mess was not in her mind right now. Suriji would question her and shal'd interrogate. Right now she wanted solitude...because her mind was filled up with questions..And Raj had to clarify her doubts.

Coming to Raj where he had been. Since the time she got up she didnt spot him. Like her he also was spending his free time between these four walls. Sometimes messing with files or sometimes quarreling with his laptop..

She heated up the left sandwiches and coffee. Though they were light but filled her up because Naina took them without counting..

When she had no other options than waiting for him, she retired to her study...seeking some time wasting books or anything that'd kill her boredom and impatience.

But there too she could not focus, overwhelming sensations were running through her body. Her epiphany was just something unbelievable for her. It was out of universe feeling...Being anchored to desired shore....After getting drown into ocean of blends where he had accompanied her.

When nothing came handy she went back to his bedroom where bed was still smelling like him..aroma was soothing hence she lied on untidy bed which was a story of their bottled up desires.

It was around half an hour later he arrived. The moment she heard him cussing after hitting his toe with sofa she got alarmed. Ecstasy and impatience and fear and shyness covered her. And she decided to feign sleeping but couldn't as he saw her through ajar door..

Their eyes locked..and for a moment her heart skipped many beats remembering their previous shades...

But today...it was not same. Ther was something else too...in his eyes which she found very disturbing...his eyes were not looking at her...but he was glaring at her..

And It Just Increased Her Fear MORE....

She decided to not disturb their usual silent relationship..and got up. 

'I....I have to talk.'

She heard him and jumped in horror. This man just scared her to her death. Whats wrong with him! Was he a wizard who knew how to apparate?

She after calming herself nodded...and sat on bed. Whilst he pulled a chair to himself...

She saw him fighting with himself. His eyes were not able to meet her...as if he was running away from her.

After a minute or two...he pulled out a file..and placed it near her..and soon made attempts to go out.

Naina was scared but at the same time she was bifurcated thinking of his behaviour which was no where to rational. Hence she asked him to stay....

'What's in this file? Why'd I read this? I dont think ki mujhe koi bhi naya task ya any type of notice diya gya ho? Kya he ye documents?'

And he stopped...hearing her. Then turned and resumed his place...

'Open them. You'll see..'

Naina opened the file.........

........

.......

........

.....and emptiness filled her.

She again was thrown from heaven to hell..

'Annulment documents? Are you....Kya soch kar inko laaye tum?' She closed her eyes....

So...he was out for this. Getting documents ready for being away from her. Leaving her was his ultimate dream come true?

'Kya he ye sab? Come on...explain me. Me...Mene sapne me bhi nahi socha...that you...you'd do this. And that too after last night. Rajveer......What do you think of yourself? Har baar tum khud hi sochte he, khus hi action lete ho. Am I just a puppet in this relation? At least duniya ke liye to we are married.....Come on......Agar ye papers tum parso laate, to Me itna nahi sochti....Because two days ago we were  just two strangers. Lekin.....After last night..How can you do this! How can you? We made love last night....It was out of a pious relation...aur aaj ye papers? Tum hosh me ho?'

And in reply she saw her red shot eyes...

'Ha...Ab hosh me aaya hu. Yes we were strangers...we still are. Let me correct you..Last night we didnt make love. It was sex..raw sex between two strangers who'r driven by their lust. Isliye....last night jo huya...wo maayne ni rakhta. Aur tum kyu itna soch rahi ho? It was another casual for you..'

And she could not stop herself from slapping him hard....clutching his collars and talking eye to eye..

'I am not a prostitute..Mr. shekhawat. Me koi dhandhewali ni hu....aya samajh me! I AM NOT A DAMN SLUT! YOU GOT IT '

'YES YOUR. WARNA EK SECOND BHI NI LAGA TUMHE MERE SATH SOTE HUYE...AGAR TUM ME SHARM HOTI TO KAL RAT TUM MUJHE ROKTI...LEKI NI...YOU ALSO HAD YOURS UNQUENCHED NEEDS. AFTER ALL...AUR KITNO DINO TAK YOU'D STAY CLEIBAC!'

She left him.....and collapsed..

'Hahaa...Mujhe ek second nai laga tumhare sath sote huye....waah..Kitni asani se bol diya tumne ye! Meri jarurat? Me hi thi na wo...jisne sab kuch shuru kiya tha...right?'

'Yes. You bloody did. Warna tum mere room me kyu soti? It was a well planned master stroke. You wanted yourself getting laid. Lekin Karthik was not a good option..isliye you chose me. And I thought.....DAMN! You used me...As you did with others..'

Raj just uncapped her volcano....

She could not stop her floods but also didnt want to stop her fury.....So many days she kept quiet because she had nothing to prove with...but today...it was necessary to slap this man...straight on face....

Naina Singh once had been fragile but today...she was not..No...She surely was not a dumb weak lady....No...Weakness is the biggest crime. No naina is not criminal..

Naina...was not guilty...so why should she feel weak! Whatever she did in past had reasons...Her brother was aware of her truth.In fact what she did for him.So....she was not meant to succumb again.

No Naina...hold up. Its not your fault. Your naive..and someone used you. It was always other way round. No..Naina...dont fall weak..Naina...was not slut..sje never was..

She took a deep breath..

'Karthik could be a better option than you Mr. Shekhawat! Kyunki uske itne brutal questions kabhi mujhe nahi todte. Because I know he is a swine. Lekin...tum...How can you?....*Sigh* ....Me slut hu? To phir tum kya ho? Jo thoda sa flesh dikha aur out of control ho gaye?'

'Naina! Dont you dare cross your limits.'

She could see him fighting with him....to make those old moves again...But If he wanted a eye to eye, she was on. For how long she'd keep quiet..waiting for a moment of revelation come itself which'd never. Hence she resumed....to spit her fury..her so long suppressed anger.

'Really? Kaun si limits? Kaha he limits? And first of all Kiski limits? Meri ya tumhari? I too can say you forced yourself on me. Because I never made first move. I can call you rapist'

And she saw him almost slapping her..

'I know...you. Who are you I am well aware with. Me nahi chahta ki me tumhare jitna giru! So...sign these papers and leave me.. I cant stay with you under same roof..Munhe ek bikau aurat ke sath nai rahna..' He stepped back and scorned at her.

She felt a strong urge of signing those documents and slapping it on his face...But this would mean leaving him...ending this paranoia..

Though leaving him would be painful but questions on her dignity made her blind to see that pain..

'Me bhi ek ghatiya soch wale aadmi ke sath ni rahna chahti...aur ye kya apna ijjat ka jhanda uthaaye phirte ho! Me batau tum kitne gire ho! Jo insan apni khud ki biwi ke sath tameez se baat ni kar sakta....jisko sach aur jooth me fark ni maalum...and the biggest thing...jo khud ki galtiyo ka theekra dusre ke sar phode, I dont want to waste my time with him..'

It hurt inside..She wiped her eyes...

'But..I have something to tell you..Abhimanyu ne jab tumse mera sauda kiya tha...Ek baar ko tumhare dimag me itna ni aya...ki tasveer aur asli insan me fark he! Blackmailed lieutenant aur khud bikne wale logo me fark he....forced aur greedy logo me fark he. But umko ye fark nahi dikhega...because your a bloody chauvinist man jisko hamesha ek ideal biwi, ideal bahan aur ideal maa chahiye..Bhale khud wo kitni hi galtiya kyu na kare!'

'Dusro ko blame wahi karta he jiske pas khud ki begunaahi ke suboot ni hote.'

He was rubbing her all imaginary shades of him which she dreamed about him...all his goodness and virtues, he was killing them himself. He was going away from her virtual ideal Rajveer.

'Really? Kabhi man kare na mera sach jan ne ka to Naveen se pooch lena...Agar mujhe bikne ka itna shauk hota...to tumhare jaise gire huye insan ke sath kabhi ni soti..I too have a choice. Aur me kyu batau tumhe apna sach! Tum hote kaun ho? You dont deserve my truth.....I am stained...I am used...Aur agar koi mujhe aise hi apnane ko taiyar ni he.. to let it be. I have my brother...I dont need you..Not a bit of you..'

She saw him with fury spitting eyes. She could feel her words piercing his ego...but something called camouflaged respect to woman was stopping him from derogating her shredding her character again..

She signed those papers and soon went to cupboard. After filling her trolley with her clothes she left his room....

She soon called a cab and left for nainital...

She threw her luggage in And forgot how long she cried in cab....even cab driver  for a second was perplexed and scared. He time to time stoped his cab and offered her tissues....Today Naina cried a lot...she could not stop herself.

She had shown her strong self to rajveer....but only she knew how broken she was witnin...Their relation was her little happiness and a sudden thrust not only snatched her happiness but pushed her through her erstwhile hellhole also where she succumbed to remorse and repent...

She wanted a relation with him..she wanted him.....but what she didnt want was derogation which came itself in her relation with him. She could bear his rudeness bit not choking accusation....She deserved to live..She deserved to smile..

...because blackmailed and used women had that right too....If Abhi had blackmailed her with her mms and forced her to sleep with men...it was not her fault. She was naive..who didnt know whom to believe....

She wanted someone to believe her without any preamble..

But across the mirror real world was brutal....sceptical...more practical. And her naivety didnt value...neither before nor now..

With a broken heart she saw KMA getting left behind...and Nainaital coming closer...and this brought one more reason to cry. She loudly wailed and mourned...over loss of an imaginary dreamy relation....

P.s. I want to tell you one thing. I think you'd be strong and weak at the same time..there'll be times when you want to slam all accusations even if they were true..But just to make your pov clear. What Raj did was out of his shallowness. But I could not make Naina a cry baby. What she had done was for Naveen, let him be her anchor and medicine. Brother needs to fulfill his duties..

Not edited. Updates are going to be irregular..sorry in advance.